Chapter Two: Phantom of The Blow Dryer (cont.)/Music of The Anti-Frizz/Magical Peroxide Bottle/I Remember There Were Wigs
So he's going to lead her into his "mirror room" huh? Very kinky, I don't really mind. This fellow has good voice, which is not enough to get me, though Christine seems to faun for any guy who can hold an alto role.
Is she really going to have that silly look on her face the whole NIGHT? I could understand if she would have it a bit later…when they're making the uh…Music of the Night, so to speak (euphemisms rule too! YAY! A/N: again, it isn't me. It's Christine's hair that is the pervert).
Eww! How can she not notice all these nasty rats and spider webs! OMG! Did that candleholder just MOVE! I am SOOO getting out of her (makes to leave Christine's head, finds itself hair-pinned in place) NOOOOOO!
Well, at least I'll get to see more of this cutie-pie. That jaw-length, ebony, shining hair is just KILLING ME! Oohh…..yum… Come to MAMA! (latches on to Phantom's head with a long curl)
Phantom: Sing once aga—cough cough, choke—(peels away christine's curl which has latched onto his head) Ahem…Sing once again with me! Our strange duet, my power over you…
Christine: (stupid look on face) Gah…. Um…yeah, Those who have seen your face…
Wait? What is she talking about? "Draw back in fear"? I don't like the sound of that! Oh…electric guitar, that's so cool! We haven't even figured out how to work electric LIGHTING yet and already we have a cool guitar solo! Arg, ew, yucky, horse! Well, at least it was a short walk. OMG! What now! Where does this guy LIVE, freakin' SCOTLAND or something! (GB fans: Did she just reference Gerry? OMG:::swoon:)
Finally…we're here. This dampness is going to make me puff like one of those Carlotta "doggies." Oh well, here I go…
:hair poofs to twice its size.
Phantom: Softly…deftly…Music shall (stops mid-song) er…Christine…
Hair is now to big for christine's shoulders to support…keels over….
(PoTO fans: Wait, doesn't she faint out of shock? And isn't she suppose to wait until he finishes the song? Author: Yes, I know, but I'm too lazy to go through the entire song, sorry to the MoTN fans… oh fine, I'll let him keep singing…)
Phantom: (picks up Christine, takes her to swan bed which has a secret attachment in the shape of a hair salon chair) Nightime sharpens…heightens each sensation…and unfortunately, the dampness stirs your hair into crazy, poodle-tresses….(starts to speak like the male hairdresser from "What not to wear") Now, those tips are simply DREADFUL, full of split ends…and girlfriend (brings up forearm and relaxes wrist in the dreaded "broken wrist" syndrome) this color must GO. It is doing NOTHING for your fair complexion!
Wait, is he going to STYLE ME? OMG…YES! YES! BRING OUT THE HERBAL ESSENSES!
:hours pass:
Wait? Your skipping over the best part…he's going to blow me and style me (the hair is talking, in any other fic, that would be enough to get the NC-17 rating, but not here!)
Author: But this part isn't that important to the ALW plot…he goes on to Buquet and the Lasso scene…
Oh alright. But I'd better get extra attention during that PoNR scene…
Author: Don't worry, that is guaranteed…have you seen the movie? He virtually jams his entire face into her hair, it's quite disturbing….
Good. Ok, do the little asterisk thing…
Christine: (waking, sees new "doo" she is now a blond with straight, shoulder length hair) Phantom?
Phantom: (straightens in his seat at the organ, stops playing)
Christine: (running fingers through hair) OMG! It is so soft and swishy! How did you DO it! I can never get this much volume and it smells like LILAC!
Phantom: (doesn't turn around, letting her hand travel over his face, caressing it softly) :thinking: Hell, I may turn into the guy from WNTW when styling her hair, but I am no fool, she's hot and that feels really good!
Ohhh! I feel GOOOOODDD! Look at me! Take that Meg's hair! Blondes have more fun my ARSE! Wait, scratch that, I don't have one. Correction, Christine's arse! Wait, she doesn't have one either…(ALW fans: Hey! Is that a shot at Emmy! Grr..:take out pitch forks and torches…come on guys, to the author's house! Author: Guys, relax! It's not me…its christine's hair that's talking. ALWF: Ok…:settle down: Author:::snickers:)
Christine: (thinking) I remember there were wigs…
Wait? What? What is she talking about…I see no wigs around here….unless….Oh not that! Don't tell me that…! NOOOOO! It CANT BE! That's not his real hair? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My LOVE is a fake! A mere piece of horsehair!
I have to see for myself!
Christine: (shocked expression on face as she watches a lock of her hair wrap itself around the phantom's mask and peel it off)
NOOOOOOO!
Phantom's wig: Neighs
Phantom: (fiercely) Curse you! You little prying Pandora….etc…
:Christine's hair is too overwhelmed to speak so I will have to narrate her shock at the moment:
RPH: (angrily) NOOO! You HORRIBLE tendril! You PRYING lock of hair! Now you CANNOT EVER BE STYLED!
Christine: (hands him back his mask) thinking: Oh sht, now I've gone and done it…
Phantom: (angrily) Come, we must return…those fools who run my theater will be missing you.
Well, that's it, for now…tune in next time for IL MUTO and such…Did I do it justice? I really like the song PoTO, as well as MoTN, so I hope I did them justice.