Title: In Need Of Practice
Challenge: Cheesy Pick-Up Lines
Words: 323
Characters: Orochimaru and Jiraiya
Notes: I felt parts of me die when I wrote the pick-up lines... Parts I needed...
"What's a sweet thing like you doing in a place like this?"
For a second, he had no idea what was going on and he looked around the field for someone else, anyone else. But he didn't see any thing and turned to see Jiraiya smiling stupidly at him.
"What are you doing?" Orochimaru shifted his bento box in his lap, feeling uncomfortable small as his teammate stood over him.
"You're the closest thing to a girl I can practice my lines on," said as if it were the most logical thing in the world. Orochimaru sent him a glare, an obvious sign that he didn't like the way the other disregarded his masculinity.
"Well, aside from Tsunade-chan, but she'd hit me if I did." Jiraiya sat down next to the snake-like boy without an invitation to. Making a point of ignoring him, Orochimaru returned to his food. For a while it was quiet, Jiraiya looked as if in deep thought. Maybe with that much concentration his next pick-up line would be better.
"Wanna come over to my place? I've got a shag rug."
Or not. Orochimaru just turned his head slowly, a look of utter revulsion and shock on his face. Jiraiya seemed happily deluded to that fact, however. Putting his chopsticks down, his hand was too shaky from the urge to punch Jiraiya or at least yell at him to use them properly anyway, he focused on his tongue to pick up his food. Maybe the concentration would help him block out the other boy.
"What else can your tongue do?"
Or just give him fodder for worse lines. Shoving his bento in Jiraiya's lap he got up. He had been disturbed enough by Jiraiya today, both mentally and by his presence. He was just going to walk away with dignity.
"Can I get some fries to go with that shake?"
Okay, fuck dignity, Orochimaru just broke out in a dead-run.