CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody
The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.
Written by Nashie
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CHAPTER 1:C – FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Meanwhile, out in the audience, people are already filling the seats. Some are elegantly dressed, while others look as if they simply bummed their way in. The theatre itself is extraordinarily posh-looking, with rich, upholstered seats, a vaulted marble ceiling, and thick carpet underfoot. If not for the even more grandiose appearance of the stage, it would be quite easy to simply fall asleep right in one's chair. The aforementioned stage is peculiarly quiet, the heavy red curtains closed as the orchestra tunes up in the pit around the apron of the stage.
In one of the reserved balconies, a group of young men shuffles in, talking loudly about, what else, girls. The balcony, located on stage right, gives a perfect view of the stage, and comes with an usher and private access to a bar (although only one of the group is at the tender legal age to drink). Of course, acting as if the play is some sort of movie, the young men are laden down with popcorn in tubs that could literally feed a small nation, gallons of soda, and pockets filled with various overpriced candy (where they got all this inside a theatre is a mystery better left to the imagination).
Needless to say, this odd group out is more of Nashie's personal invites. Well, actually, only one person was an invite, and he went and invited a handful of his friends.
One of the tallest of the group, a sturdy handsome young man, settles himself into a seat, balancing his bathtub-sized container of popcorn in one hand. This is Big Brother, Nashie's older, sometimes annoying, sibling. "Man, what are you complaining about? We don't have anything else to do tonight." Another of the young men, though by looks appears much older than he really is, plops down next to him, sipping on a Dr. Pepper as he gives Big Brother a long look.
"It's Cinderella. As in Disney. As in singing and dancing." Big Brother throws his hands up.
"I didn't see you coming up with any better ideas." Al, another of Big Brother's friends, raises his hand, the other one holding onto a plate of nachos.
"Hey, I said we should go to the movies. But no one listens to poor Al."
Big Brother snorts. "We went to the movies yesterday. Besides, this was free. And you guys know I'm poor." The smallest member of the group who also looks the youngest (though, in an odd twist of appearances, is the oldest) nods in agreement.
"He does have a point. About it being free." Al and K-Rod both roll their eyes.
"'He does have a point,'" Al mutters in a poor imitation of Jeff. "Dude, we're watching CINDERELLA. That's Disney stuff!" He sits back in his seat with a huff. Big Brother makes a face at him.
"Hey, c'mon. It's Milwaukee on a Saturday night. What else is there to do? We went to a movie yesterday, we went bowling last weekend, and the malls are closed already. Man, see, that's why I hate Milwaukee." He immediately goes into his famous I Hate Milwaukee Rant™ and begins listing five thousand reasons why Milwaukee sucks.
K-Rod looks down at the stage, trying to ignore Big Brother's rant. "There you go again." Big Brother raises his eyebrows in a typical 'are you serious' look.
"Am I not right?"
Jeff laughs a bit. "You guys need to quit it. After all, Nashie was nice enough to give us free balcony seats to see a musical that's not that bad. Didn't you guys ever see the one with Brandy and Whitney Houston in it?" Al gives Jeff a completely deadpan look.
"That one sucked. And you know why it sucked? Because Brandy is ugly. She looks like an epileptic giraffe."
One of the young men who has been oddly quiet for the major part of the conversation decides that it's his turn to shine. He stands up, nearly knocking his soda over, and throws out his arms.
"The sweeeeetest sooooound I'll eeeeeever heeeeeear...is stiiiiiiil insiiiiiiide my heeeeeead...!"
Note that this is an odd thing to see from someone with the stature of a football player. The other guys begin booing him and pelting him with popcorn and Raisinets®.
"Shut up, Orlando!"
"You are so off-key!"
"Hey, you're gonna knock my popcorn over!" Orlando slumps in his seat and throws popcorn (and the few Raisinets he can find) back at them.
"You hate me! You really hate me!" Jeff wards off the popcorn and contemplates whether he really is the most mature one there as more pieces of the popped corn and thrown back and forth among the young men.
"Hey, don't throw anything at me. I didn't start this!"
"Ah can't believe y'all would say I cain't sing!" wails Orlando in a fake Southern belle voice, causing all the young men to groan and throw even more food at him. "Y'all have gone and broken my poor li'l heart!" Al and Big Brother share looks.
"Man, you need to quit it."
"Ditto."
"Oh, boo-hoo."
K-Rod props his chin on his hand, looking bored. "You guys are stupid."
Ah, the maturity of childlike adults.
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In the make-up room, Nashie is grumbling to herself as Chichiri fixes up Tasuki from his severe whapping from the Big Stuffed Fish. MoonshadowJedi is downing yet another handful of aspirin, still rubbing her temples with a dazed look on her face, while a youthful Subaru sits next to her, combing through her mass of wavy silvery-white hair. Miaka huddles protectively over her doughnut, peeking out from a now recovered Tamahome who is giving Mitsukake a grateful smile. Nuriko is still shooting daggers at Sake's prone form while Hotohori ignores them all.
Nashie finally sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose wearily. "Miaka, I said I was sorry. I'm not going to try to take any more of your doughnuts." The only response is a suspicious glare from Miaka, causing Nashie to groan in frustration. "I'm serious." The suspicious look stays on her face and Nashie throws her hands up in exasperation. "Fine! You talk to her, Tama-chan!"
"Are you mad that your lead actress thinks you're going to maim her for some doughnuts?"
"Shut up, Tama-chan!"
"You told me to help!" A short blonde girl sitting next to Nashie giggles slightly.
"You're making it worse!" exclaims Yui with a shake of her head. She turns to her best friend, a twinkle in her blue eyes. "Come on, Miaka. No one is going to steal your doughnuts."
"See?" Nashie exclaims, earning her a suspicious look from the Suzaku no miko. Miaka hesitates slightly, and then cocks her head to the side, green eyes wide in a questioning gaze.
"Promise?"
"If she doesn't, then you can hit me too," Yui says with a small smile that obviously says, 'you don't want to test that theory'.
"I promise." Tasuki rolls his eyes as Nashie places her hand over her heart and does a salute.
"Sap." Nashie glares at him.
"Shut up, Gen-chan. You better be glad you weren't seriously injured by my Big Stuffed Fish. I could have whapped you harder for trying to steal my pizza!" Tasuki blows a raspberry at her.
"I don't want your nasty pizza!"
There's a loud crash, and the next thing Tasuki knows, Nuriko, MoonshadowJedi, and Tamahome have all leapt onto Nashie to prevent her from whapping Tasuki with the Big Stuffed Fish.
"Lemme at 'im! LEMME AT 'IM!" Nashie shouts, swinging wildly for the big-mouthed bandit. Chichiri holds the arm grasping the Big Stuffed Fish, trying to pull the deranged director out of the room.
"Calm down, no da! Hurting him won't help you at all, no da!" Of course, Tasuki only makes matters worse by sticking out his tongue a good four feet in front of Nashie.
"Nyah!"
"DIE!"
Now, Mitsukake joins in on the pile-up to keep Nashie from killing Tasuki. Yui jumps off of her chair to prevent from being caught up in the ramble. "Hey, you guys! Stop it!" Subaru also gets to her feet, but she storms up to the group, hands on her hips and look quite irritable.
"Don't make me go home and bring Tokaki here, Nashie!" She waves her brush threateningly. "Unless you want my lecherous husband clinging to all female members of stage crew, knock it off!" Chichiri points towards the door, ignoring the stunned looks of the other cast and crew members as their friends fight to drag Nashie out of the room and from doing permanent damage to Tasuki.
"Get her out of here, no da! We have ten minutes before the show starts, and we can't afford to have any actors unconscious, no da!"
Nashie, still wrestling with three seishi and MoonshadowJedi, tries to give Tasuki one last whap that will send him flying into the heavens as the group manages to haul her from the room. Miaka and Yui share looks, and laugh nervously as Tasuki watches in something akin to frightened amusement. Hotohori sighs, watching the antics with a removed air. Chichiri picks Sake-chan up from the floor and carries her to the door, ready to take her upstairs to the light loft.
Chichiri glances at Hotohori and Subaru. "Make sure everyone's in their places in five minutes, no da. Especially Tasuki, no da." The other seishi scowls, crossing his arms and looking altogether like a wronged child.
"Say what? I know that already!"
"Then put on your wings, no da! Or else Nashie will really let you have it, na no da!" He walks out the door behind the brawling crowd.
The group somehow manages to drag Nashie down the dark hallway and up the metal stairs into the quiet light loft, where the other members of stage crew are patiently waiting, lounging around on the couches. Nuriko grabs Nashie by the shoulders, and, not so gently, throws her onto a vacant couch, nearly tipping it over from the force. MoonshadowJedi plops down next to her, checking her camera to make sure Nashie didn't damage it too much. Mitsukake sighs, leaning against one of the wooden columns that supports the light command center.
"You can't hurt Tasuki, or you'll destroy the musical," Nuriko tries to explain to the pissed off director. "Until you can calm down, stay up here. "
The violet-haired young man gives Nashie a long steady glare before turning on his heel and going back down the stairs.
Tamahome rubs his nose. "You have good aim, I'll say that much." He holds out his hand expectantly, a broad grin on his boyish face. "That'll be fifteen ryo for keeping you from murdering Tasuki. After all, okane keeps this show alive!"
"If you don't want to end up like him," Nashie mutters darkly, "I suggest you draw that hand back to your body, Tama-chan."
"A-ha! You're still angry. I can give you advice on how to control your emotions for twenty ryo."
"OUT!"
"Cheapskate." Tamahome jams his hands in his pockets and leaves, muttering something about cheap directors on PMS under his breath.
The members of stage crew all give Nashie patient looks as she tilts her head back on the couch and glares up at the ceiling. Chichiri sits Sake up in a couch with Chiriko and Teki and then sits down next to her. Nashie finally lets out a long, deep sigh and folds her hands on her lap, trying to regain her temper. She gives each of her beloved stage crew members steady, serious looks.
"Okay, we're going to forget that happened. I'll try to not kill Tasuki for that remark about my pizza. But, we have to be serious now. This musical is very important. It has to go off flawlessly. That means lights, sound, and special effects have to be right on cue. Does everybody have their cue sheets?"
When she is met with various nods, she grins brightly, tension suddenly gone.
"Cool." She looks towards Teki and Miku. "You guys can still control the spotlights from the light command center, right? And you have a television up there so you can see the performance in case you can't find your cue sheet. And PLEASE make sure your mikes are on, okay?"
"We're going to need another black light bulb," Teki says, gesturing to the light command center. "Ours blew a fuse." Nashie nods and then points over to a box near the far wall of the loft.
"There are some in the box over in the corner." She now gives her attention to Bob. "Bob, the legs, like I told you earlier today, are gonna be blocking your view of the stage, so you're gonna be getting all of your cues from Mitsukake. Hopefully, this mechanical rigging system won't mess up tonight."
"Let's hope that," comes the dry reply. Nashie makes a face at him before grinning at the second youngest member of stage crew.
"Chiriko, I want you to keep the main leads on their toes – no slacking off in the make-up room. If they do, I'll whap them with the...what?"
"No whapping."
"Fine, fine. Guys, make sure your headsets work."
Sake suddenly revives, sits up, her back rigid, her eyes huge with dread and anticipation. "HEADSETS!" She groans and turns to glare at C-Guy. "The mikes!"
Chichiri waves his hands in front of his face placidly.
"We took care of that already, no da. You should be able to control it from the sound booth, no da." Nashie claps her friend on the shoulder, a reassuring smile on her face.
"So you better get over to stage left!"
MoonshadowJedi raises her hand hesitantly, a wince ready to take over her shoulders. "So that's where the sound booth is. I thought it was out in the audience somewhere." She scratches behind her head and sighs. "Nashie, don't ask me to run anywhere – I don't know where anything's at!" She receives a grin and V-sign from the director and sighs in relief. Thank god! This play would end up in London, and I'd still be asking for directions!
Teki stretches out her limbs and places her hands on her hips. "So, that's it?" Nashie nods.
"Yeah…" A pause as the group gets to their feet and prepares to get on with their assigned duties. "Oh, and guys?"
The gathered crew turns to their director as she stands up and pumps her fist into the air, a huge goofy grin on her face. She is no longer the mature, solemn director, or the short-tempered director from hell. No, now it's just Nashie, with no titles added to that, just loaded with adrenaline and excitement.
"We are the coolest people ever! And this musical is gonna rock! Yee-haw!"
Sake grins, her wane mood forgotten as she also stands up and gives Nashie a high five, joined soon by Teki, and the three girls whoop and holler and cheer. Mitsukake gives a small smile, while Bob laughs quietly. MoonshadowJedi cheers also, but doesn't stand up, just records everyone's actions. Miku cocks her head to the side, swinging her feet over the edge of the couch, looking bored. C-Guy looks aptly confused at the exchange of language, but manages to understand the good cheer.
"This'll go okay, no da," Chichiri assures Nashie with a smile. "Let's blow them out of the water, Nashie."
"Yeah. Let's show them what Suzaku warriors are made out of!"
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Author's Note: (8-9-04) Yeah. No script. (glares at You guys have probably noticed that this is a new version of Cinderella. Not entirely new, but some lines have been changed. In a resolution or promise to another author, I'm making sure that my story is as original as I can make it without deviating too much from my ideas which happen to coincide with theirs. I've already given them my deepest of apologies, and am trying very hard to redeem myself for my actions and the distress I put them through.
(1-28-04) Oh, if only stage crew WERE actually filled with bishonen. But alas, it is not to be.
Um, I hope none of the characters are too OOC. (I know for sure DJFiregirl isn't – I promise to let you glomp the bishonen before the play ends. And certainly not my brother and his friends). Actually, in real life, our high school did put on the musical 'Cinderella' when I was a freshman (and in stage crew). And because I saw the version with Brandy in it the other day, and was totally high on Fushigi Yugi, I was pretty much like, "That would be so cool if the cast of FY was in it..."
So begins the journey of headaches, the stage jig, missed lines, red-haired faerie godmothers, and a whole lot of insanity.
And what's this about Subaru? Well, I really like Subaru – I think she's extraordinarily cool, so I gave her the part of the Stepmother. And if anyone cares, Tokaki was...ahem...forcibly restrained and is currently tied up in a chair at home to prevent him from, um, propositioning all female members of cast, crew, and chorus.
A new disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin (Keeeeeeenshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!). And those two mysterious Matrix people aren't from The Matrix. In fact, they aren't really all that scary in real life – but since I'm the director and I plan for having some action in later chapters of this story, they are going to purposely be scary...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, and if anyone reading this story would actually like to be in it, I'll be glad to oblige! The more interesting and involved the audience, the better. (The only thing more dangerous than Nashie wanting Krispy Kremes is Nashie wanting Little Debbie Pecan Pinwheels...)
Next chapter: Will Tasuki do his part? What happens when Sake has to rush through her scene changes? And how scary are mysterious figures? All this, and more in chapter 2! (flinches) Ah, I sound like an announcer for some weird Disney cartoon show. (shudders) Though I did like Darkwing Duck...(sings) 'Darkwing Duck! When there's trouble, you call DW! Darkwing Duck! Let's get dangerous! Darkwing Duck! Better watch you bad boys! Darkwing Duck!'
Bai-bai until the first scene!