What would happen if Happen if Napoleon Dynamite woke up one day as Link? Let me introduce you to the characters.
Deku tree: Loretta Lynn, constantly calls Link hon or sugar
Saria: Suicidal homicidal always crying feeling sorry for herself
Scary owl: Yoda
Zelda: Tour guide Barbie
Impa: Acts scary, only way of communication is "grunt"
Hyrulian King: acts like the prince charming in Shrek
Guy who guards the Deku tree: gay hits on link constantly
Ganondorf: Acts a lot like Dracon
Talon: drunk
Malon: insane and homicidal constantly croons lullabies to her sock puppet, Bob
Navi: strange drug dealer
Guards: All hippies
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The Deku tree was bored one day, so she called her faithful fairy attendant Navi, because she had a very important task for Navi to complete. "NAVI, COULD YOU COME HERE A MOMENT HON!" Navi pops out of the ground. There's no need to scream Loretta, I'm right here. I was simply digging for socks, often the best quality ones are buried in your roots.
(Navi levitates sock up in the air with large purple lettering that says " Kiss me, I love Ganondorf.") Deku tree turns the darkest shade of red that a tree can.) Those are NOT my socks hun, uh, I don't know how they uh, got down there and why did you just call me Loretta? They sit and think about it for a minute. ANYWAYS… I want you to hear my latest country song. Suddenly gets a very screwed look on his face. LALALA IM A SOUTHERN ROSE LALA.
Navi suddenly looked flustered, racking his brain for any urgent task at hand. There weren't any that Navi could think of besides the one that involved that fairy boy urgently needing to save the world, but that could wait, they had ordered pizza and the delivery was taking forever… suddenly.
Out of the opening to the woods strolled a policeman. Navi's first though was oh crap, I'm busted, I knew I couldn't manufacture crack for the palace guards in Gohma' cavern forever. Navi stuttered to the Deku tree, "Um, I have to go get that kid." "Okay sugar, jus be back soon, sug?" "YAAAH IT"S HER CRACK!"
Navi flew away very fast, he wasn't likely to get out of the city alone, maybe he could smuggle himself along with the crack shipment… all he needed was an accomplice.
R&R PLEASE! Suggest different personalities for my characters if you want, BUT I'M NOT CHANGING MALON UNLESS YOURS IS REALLY GOOD!
Note: One of my stories got audited, so I'm using my little brother's name, I'm really Ivorypanther