CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 4:C – TOPSY-TURVY

Backstage, all is relatively quiet in the make-up room. The various members of cast and crew are sprawled out over the seats, some napping, some playing cards, and others looking in the mirror and blinking, trying to figure out if such a nightmare would ever end. Teki has finally found Nuriko and Hotohori and literally dragged them into the make-up room to stay put. Subaru and Yui decide to ignore every single last one of the unfortunate switched persons, and concentrate on their scripts for the upcoming scenes.

Neko-ane plays a silent game of Mao with Sake, who is currently losing, and not looking at all too pleased with it. The redhead looks over her cards, frowns, and then places down a queen of hearts. "Alice in Wonderland. One card." Sake mutters something as Neko-ane reaches to the deck and hands Sake a card. "Card for talking." Sake grudgingly takes the card. Neko-ane reaches to the deck and hands Sake another card. "Card for not saying thank you."

"Thank you…"

Tamahome looks over at the duo. "That game seems impossible to win."

"It is…" Sake agrees. Neko-ane puts down her final card, a seven of hearts, and knocks on the table.

"Have a nice day. Mao. I win."

"ARGH!" Sake bangs her head down on the table. "No offense, Neko-ane, but I'm seriously dying of boredom here. There's nothing to do except wait until Nashie-chan and the others solve this impossible problem." Nuriko looks over at her thoughtfully.

"Y'know…if you do that often enough, you might knock a few of your brain cells loose. Can't have too many geniuses running around – no offense, Chiriko."

"None taken."

"There's nothing any of us can really do," Neko-ane says with a slight frown, shuffling the cards. "You can't start the musical, you're not even allowed the leave this room. The only thing we should be able to do is play cards or talk or read your scripts."

"I'M SO BORED!"

"¿Estas contenta, Sake¿Necesitas ir al bano?" C-Guy grins at Sake, who shakes her head.

"No y no. Pero gracias." She continues banging her head. Neko-ane looks around the room for something that could cheer everyone up and bring them out of their dismal mood. Though she had expected everything to be cheerful and exciting backstage during the show, she had no idea how boring and long the waiting could take. Her eyes scanned the room, ignoring the various bags of food, magazines, and props lying carelessly amidst the chairs. Her gaze finally comes to rest on a small empty water bottle lying sitting near Hotohori.

Now that would make an interesting game…if only the right people inhabited these bodies! And if Chichiri were back! She swoons at the thought.

But unfortunately for the Chichiri-stricken fangirl, the blue-haired monk is nowhere to be seen or heard. The quintet had been gone for around ten minutes, without even the slightest signal that something was happening. Nashie had given the order for all lights backstage to be turned off in case of an emergency, but unlike the others, Neko-ane wasn't used to seeing with just black lights. She cringes at the thought of what would happen if worse came to worse.

Suddenly, she jerks her head up from its sullen angle and looks around the room, half expecting to see a million Nyan-Nyans dancing around, singing "Hakuna Matata" (she quickly squashes the thought, wondering where in the world it came from). Almost everyone else she can see has had the same reactions, and she blinks uncertainly. "Is that good or-"

Miaka suddenly yelps and jumps to her feet, suddenly pumping a fist into the air and bursting out into relieved laughter. A laugh that sounds conspicuously like Nashie's…which is odd, considering that Miaka is currently stuck in Nashie's body.

"Alright! I'm me again! This makes up for everything!"

"Nashie?" Neko-ane ventures to ask, causing the direction to grin brightly.

"The one and only. I'm back being me!" Sake, who has switched from being across from Neko-ane to behind her also laughs in delight.

"Sake-chan is Sake-chan! How cool is that? Oh, yeah, BABY!" She gets up and starts the chicken dance. Bob also stands up and stretches.

"This feels a lot better!"

"Did it feel that weird?" asks Neko-ane, confused. Bob pauses and then nods.

"It was kind of like putting on a coat that was a few sizes off of yours…and not your favourite color either. It felt wrong, but there was nothing you could do about it."

"Personally," Miaka says with a cheerful smile. "I'm glad to be back too. I was worried there for awhile. It was taking you guys so long." Teki cocks her head to the side, and nods.

"Oh…I miss you speaking in Spanish, Teki-chan."

"How did it go?" the brunette asks with a grin. Nashie suddenly begins to shift uncomfortably, and her gaze shoots up to the ceiling.

"Um…it went."

"So, we shouldn't expect any more problems from our magical person?" Subaru rises to her feet, and smooths out the skirt of her dress.

"Hehehe…" The door of the make-up room suddenly flies open, and MoonshadowJedi, Nuriko, and Tamahome stand in the doorway, all three of them with jubilant smiles on their faces. MoonshadowJedi bounces into the room and gives Nashie a quick high-five for her actions while Tamahome sweeps Miaka into a hug as the brunette leading lady bursts into laughter. Nashie scratches behind her head, but feels a big sinking in her stomach. This is gonna get a lot worse before it gets better… "We'll be able to have this musical up and rolling in five minutes or so. So, as I always say – PLACES EVERYONE!"

The members of the cast depart from the make-up room, leaving only Sake, Teki, C-Guy, Miku, MoonshadowJedi, Neko-ane, and Nashie left in the room. Once the cast had left, Nashie sinks down into the chair and all the energy literally deflates from her. Teki and Sake both share similar looks before pulling up chairs next to her, and sitting down in them. MoonshadowJedi scoots up onto a table and crosses his arms.

"So…what are you not telling us?"

"Lots of stuff," Nashie grumbles, putting her head down on the table. "Mostly that I had to make a deal with our resident troublemaker."

"A deal?" Sake gives her a considering look. "Like you sold your soul to her, or something?"

Nashie grimaces. "At least I would have had a guarantee that the musical would have been left untouched. But, no. I'm in this to save my own hide from the couple of doom in the audience."

"The Text?" Neko-ane asks, her eyes widening. Nashie nods.

"What Text?" MoonshadowJedi frowns at the girl. Nashie sighs, and rubs the bridge of her nose warily.

"The Text. The bane and blessing of my existence. The only thing somebody can blackmail me with. I had no idea that they knew that I knew about its creation." She slumps in seat. "I knew this would come back and haunt me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Sake waves her hands in front of her face. "Wait a minute. Back up a second. What exactly is so bad about this Text?"

Nashie chews her bottom lip. "Can't say. I can't even tell you guys about it. It's that confidential. But I can say that if the couple knew of the origins of this text – that I know something about how it came to be – this entire theatre would be demolished in ten seconds flat." She pauses. "No, wait. I wouldn't even give it that long."

Teki lets out a low whistle. "That bad, huh?"

Nashie nods sullenly. "And the evil person knows it. She threatened to tell the couple about it if I stopped her from casting her spells on the cast and crew. I had to let her keep doing it. She says it's supposed to teach me a lesson – I think she only has a grudge against me, for some reason."

"Are you insane?" MoonshadowJedi demands. "Nashie! This is serious! She could end up doing something that puts us all out of jobs!"

"I know. I know." She throws hands up. "But I'm left with no choice. I tried looking for loopholes, and I haven't found any yet. I'm supposed to talk with her after the musical, but I don't know if she'll even keep her word." She sighs. "I don't know, you guys. I thought this would be fun, and entertaining, but instead, its turning to hell on Earth."

"Tell me about it." She rubs her temples. "Well, honestly, there's nothing we can do about it. She has the control in her hands." She checks her watch, and taps its face. "But hopefully, whatever tricks she decides to pull, we'll be out of here around ten o'clock or ten thirty. It's eight thirty-six right now." Nashie rolls her eyes heavenward.

"We might be here for a long, long time after this…"

- - -

In the front row of the audience, DJFiregirl is the first to regain her senses among her group. She glances to her left and right, only to find that Ashley, Dreamlessdays, Silverscape, and MidnightSun278 are sleeping. She wrinkles her nose, and crosses her arms, shifting impatiently in her seat. "I can't believe they went to sleep! How can they think this place is boring? And especially Dreamlessdays, when he's had enough sugar to choke a blue whale!"

"Quiet down, wouldja? Play's not started yet…" Ashley mumbles.

"Intermission is over!" She glances at her watch. "Actually, it's been over for around ten minutes. I wonder what's taking so long. Nashie is usually on time for everything." Silverscape lifts her head from where it was resting against the back of the seat, and rubs her sore neck. She glances around, hiding a yawn behind her hand.

"Did I sleep through it?"

"No. It's not over yet. Supposedly, it's still intermission. It should be starting soon however, unless they decided to just quit for the night." MidnightSun278 also begins to wake up.

"Hmmm…can't believe I fell asleep…it's only eight thirty…"

"We all fell asleep."

MidnightSun278 nudges Dreamlessdays, who shifts in his slumber before slowly waking up. He blinks at his four female companions, glances at the stage and then at his watch, and then shrugs. He pulls open his backpack and pulls out a honey bun, unwrapping it and beginning to eat it.

"Hungry? You've eaten like twenty of those tonight. Your teeth are going to fall out." Dreamlessdays: shrugs at Silverscape's accusation and continues to chew.

DJFiregirl waves a hand in front of his face. "Hello – starving fangirl in front of you! Hand over a honey bun, sweetie."

Dreamlessdays smirks, reaches into his backpack, and tosses her one. This only results in the other three girls expectantly holding their hands out for their treat. Dreamlessdays rolls his eyes before tossing each and every one of them one of the sweet pastries. Nothing like the delicious Krispy Kremes, but good none the less.

- - -

In the balcony on stage right, Big Brother and his friends are waking up as well, yet none of them are as reluctant to proclaim that the musical must be over.

"About time," Al grumbles. "Man, that girl down there was really good-looking though."

"Man…I thought you had Mish."

"Dude, she doesn't know what she wants to do. And all I was saying was that that girl, the Queen or whatever, was looking really hot in that dress…" K-Rod shakes his head, hiding a smirk behind his hand. Jeff rolls his eyes.

"I thought Cinderella was really cute," Orlando suggests, causing Al to look straight at him, deadpan.

"No. The Queen."

"But Cinderella had that dress on…now that was a tight dress."

"I saw both of them backstage." Both Orlando and Al go extremely quiet before turning to Big Brother with completely serious expressions on their usually animated faces.

"Were they really that good looking up close…?"

"Who looked better…the Queen or Cinderella?"

Big Brother wrinkles his nose. "I'm not telling you two."

"Ooh, you're bogus…"

"Why not?"

"You have Mish."

"Well, I don't have Mish. You gotta get their numbers from your sister. It's not every day you see such a pretty girl in Milwaukee."

Big Brother grins." Well, there's Ashley…"

"No. She goes with Ben."

"So?"

"Thou shalt not covet another man's wife."

"Boo!"

So begins yet another intellectual argument between the greatest species of animal life on the planet earth.

- - -

In the pit, the orchestra begins playing the music for the beginning of act two – a medley that is made up of "The Stepsisters' Lament," "Ten Minutes Ago," and "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?". The crowd, most having just awoken from their spell-induced naps, quiet down from their confused conversations, turning their attention back to the stage. The lights dim down once again to cast the theatre into shadows, all of the lights now focused on stage.

The red curtain, along with the black curtain, swings opens to reveal the newly decorated castle. All the decorations from the confrontation scene are complete, and the actors are already in their places. The orchestra pauses for a moment of dramatic effect as the lights brighten on the stage, illuminating the scene to the audience. The men wear tuxedos with a dark blue top, black pants, and white shirt, while the women are wearing green, pink, and blue pastels, some with gloves, some with bracelets, some with necklaces or tiaras. Everyone looks elegantly attractive, but none of them really stand out, save the horrendously dressed stepevils. The line of eagerly awaiting young woman is placed on stage left near the decorated wall, now complete with white roses and dangling vines. Then, as suddenly as they pause, the orchestra once again beings playing the strands of dance music as a cue.

Tamahome stands in the middle wearing an all white tuxedo, and posing with a pretty dark-haired singer. Once the music starts, he holds out his hand to her and begins the gavotte, stiffly and looking as if he's trying desperately to hide a yawn. Chichiri, Nuriko, and Hotohori, watching from their thrones on stage right, are also elegantly dressed. Chichiri has changed into a black tuxedo with a pale violet vest, and watches Tamahome with a look of concern on his face. Nuriko and Hotohori both match in elegant clothing in shades of blue, with white and gold accents.

"So many beautiful girls!" enthuses Nuriko. "He'll find the one he's looking for tonight. I'm sure of it!"

Hotohori raises an eyebrow. "And if he doesn't?" His "wife" scowls.

"This ball will never end." One of the men in the chorus comes up next to Chichiri and quietly murmurs something. Chichiri winces.

"I don't think we ordered enough food, no da." Nuriko glares at him.

"What?"

Chichiri shrugs, and crosses to the other side of the stage, patting Tamahome on the arm as he goes. As he is about to exit, Subaru pushes her way through the throng of girls and latches herself onto Chichiri's arm, a suddenly deceptive smile appearing on her face. A suppressed sigh of longing arises from fangirls and fanboys alike in the crowd – fangirls for wanting to be Subaru at that moment, and fanboys for wanting to be Chichiri.

"Pardon me, but I'm sure you must have noticed my two beautiful daughters!"

"Madame…" He looks over to where Yui and Nyan-Nyan are standing, and nearly cries out due to the onslaught of colors. He quickly turns away towards the audience so that they see his horrified look, causing the audience to laugh at his reaction. "Madame, the prince will dance with all the young ladies in due time, no da. Please, try to exercise some restraint."

Subaru frowns at the brush off, and then grabs at Chichiri before pulling him further upstage. She puts one arm on his shoulder and presses herself against him seductively. Nearly every Chichiri fangirl in the audience is green with envy. "Naturally, any mother would be eager to see their daughters dance with the prince. But what I want to know is…who's going to have the honour of dancing with you?" Chichiri makes a face.

"Excuse me?"

"There's no need to be coy! Look at you! That manly physique! Those handsome chiseled features…um…mask…" Shrieks of delights erupt from various fangirls in the audience.

Chichiri tries to get away from Subaru. "No touching please, no da."

"Surely there's no need to pretend. I know you felt that certain something between us."

Chichiri pauses. "You know, I honestly wish there was something between us…"

"Really…?" Subaru smiles and prepares for a kiss.

"Yes." Chichiri manages to untangle himself. "A continent, na no da."

Backstage on stage left, Nashie rests impatiently with Mitsukake who continues to give her worried glances. Tasuki, also with them, decides to say as little as possible, knowing that Nashie is currently not in her usual cheerful mood. He leans on the wall next to her, arms crossed and staring pensively at the floor. Neko-ane, sitting on the ground and watching the action out on stage, glances back at the trio, sighs, and turns her attention back to the scene. Miaka stands next to her, trying to ignore the heavy tension in the air in order to prepare for her big entrance.

"What a cheerful group," Neko-ane notes.

"I'm just waiting for all hell to break loose on the stage," Nashie mutters thorugh clenched teeth. "There's no stopping it."

Tasuki gives her a sympathetic look. "Well, it was either that or have the fuckin' theatre disappear in a puff of atomic smoke. You chose right, Nashie."

"Still, it wasn't one of my better moments." She rests head on Tasuki's shoulder. "I'm going to pay for this in the morning. Maybe I should just call it quits for the night. We don't have to finish the musical." The assembled cast and crew give the director alarmed looks.

"Whatdya mean 'we don't hafta finish the musical'?" demands Tasuki. "We're finishin' it 'cause we started it!"

Miaka nods. "I agree with Tasuki."

Nashie lowers her head slightly, peering out onto the stage. "But I sense lots of trouble before this scene is even over…and I don't want to have anyone embarrassed…"

"Nashie, with all due respect," Mitsukake soothes, "I think everyone would rather finish the play and have the threat of certain parts taking longer than others, than to cancel it completely." He gives her a small smile. "After all, we've survived this far. I think we can survive a bit more. Remember, the show must go on."

"It's all a bet. If I win, I still lose, because my play will be a disaster." She sighs.

"Well, can't argue with that logic," Tasuki scorns darkly. Nashie pulls away from him, and gives her an annoyed look.

"Shut up."

"No way," the redhead seishi retorts angrily, spinning to face her. "Stop blamin' yourself for what's happenin'. You couldn't've helped this shit, and you know it, so stop wallowin' in fuckin' self-pity. Because it's really startin' to get old!" He grabs her by the shoulders and gives her a firm shake. "You may not know this, but Suzaku seishi don't give up. Hell…you should know that – that's why you wanted us to do this damn musical with you! There's no way in hell any of us are gonna give in to that bastard and let her beat us up. Now, c'mon, Nashie. Stop feelin' sorry for yourself and pull yourself together! We gotta get through this even if it kills us or we're here until midnight!"

Nashie smirks at him. "Why do you always know what to say, Gen-chan?"

"I dunno. Probably because whenever we rehearsed, the only channel that came in had Dr. Phil on it…" Nashie giggles. "What?"

"Something is really hilarious about you taking advice from Dr. Phil…" Neko-ane suggests, causing Nashie to burst out into laughter. Tasuki mutters something about girls being crazy.

Back out on stage, Tamahome has finished dancing with Yui and has started with Nyan-Nyan. He puts his hand on her waist and she suddenly bursts into hysterical, unladylike giggles. Tamahome looks confused. "Did I miss something?" Nyan-Nyan keeps on laughing. "Your laughter…is incessant…"

"But Your Highness is tres amusel!"

"I don't think anyone's every found me funny."

"Good one!" She begins snorting more than laughing. Chichiri, being observant, rushes in to pull Nyan-Nyan away. The aqua-haired young woman makes a grab for Tamahome but misses and is pulled away, half laughing, half snorting, and looking utterly confused. The audiences bursts into laughter as she manages to get away from Chichiri and launches herself at Tamahome again. Chichiri tackles her to the ground, grabs her ankles, and begins to drag her away.

"But we were getting along so well…!"

"Tell the orchestra to speed it up!" Tamahome frantically stage-whispers to Chichiri. Chichiri groans, and waves his hand as a cue to speed up the music. The gavotte suddenly becomes much faster and the girls fly through Tamahome's arms as he quickly dances through the line. Nuriko and Hotohori share looks at the obvious change of pace.

"I think it's going quite well…don't you?" Hotohori says with false cheerfulness. Nuriko hits him on the arm.

Backstage, Nashie adjusts her headset, straightening up from the wall. "Alright, you guys. We're about to have Cinderella's entrance. Teki, full spotlight on her and Tamahome, Sake, give the orchestra the cue to start playing Cinderella's overture…"

"Right-o, Cheerio!"

"Full speed ahead, Captain!"

Nashie grins at Miaka and gives her a thumbs-up. "Over to the back stairwell, sweetie." Miaka gives them all a grin before heading towards the stepladder the leads to the top of the grand staircase on stage. Nashie shivers in anticipation, but Tasuki throws an arm around her shoulder to bring her into a sideways hug. She blows a raspberry at him but doesn't shrug the arm away.

The gavotte is suddenly going at miraculous speeds. Some of the girls don't even have time to dance with Tamahome before they are shoved out of the way and replaced with another dancer. During the confusion, Tamahome grabs Chichiri's hand and pulls him into the gavotte instead of the girl. Nuriko groans and places his hand on his forehead while Hotohori watches the entire spectacle in amusement.

Suddenly, however, the music suddenly dies down, and the lights dim on stage as Miaka ascends to the landing of the grand staircase. The soft white spotlights are suddenly the only things lighting the stage, and the glows causes the shimmer of Miaka's dress to sparkle like stars. She smiles hesitantly down at the crowd and then at Tamahome, who is literally struck with awe by the beauty of the Suzaku no miko. His jaw slackens slightly, and he is completely fixated on her.

Miaka slowly begins to descend the staircase as a lone piano plays the few notes of her entrance music. She raises her dress slightly to make her descent easier, and all present can see the glass slippers she's wearing. Nashie was right in making sure that nobody saw the dress in full light before this moment – it made their reactions far more genuine than they would have been from seeing the dress earlier in rehearsals.

Miaka walks into the crowd as the men and women part from her to form a semi-circle around her and Tamahome. She walks up to him, gives a shy smile, and then lowers herself into a curtsy. "How do you do, Your Highness?" Tamahome lifts her chin and smiles at her, and holds his arms out to begin the waltz. The spotlights now stay on the both of them as they circle in the three-step around the semi-circle, making a dashing pair.

Backstage, Nashie gives her fellow crew members and friends high-fives. Neko-ane cheers quietly at seeing the romantic scene, and decides that perhaps being part of the backstage crew isn't so bad after all. For just a few moments, the dark mood has lightened as the music of the waltz begins to take over.

"Now that is magic," Teki says over the headset.

"Hopefully, this'll be all the magic that we'll see for a while…" Nashie turns to Tasuki and grins. "Care to dance?"

- - -

Author's Note: (12-25-04) I highly suggest that those who have read the script-version of this chapter re-read this version of it. Changes have been made that will be crucial for the concluding chapters. Thanks once again, and I hope to see you all (soon) in Chapter 5! Only three more chapters left! (cheers)

(5-24-04) Hey, all. (is immediately clobbered by upset readers) I knooooow! I took three months to update this story. I'm really sorry, but Nashie's been busy with lots of other stuff, unfortunately (like seeing the last half of Fushigi Yugi – I wonder if I had a dry eye through any of the last episodes). Well, now that I'm done with this chapter (and a week earlier than when I intended), I can start working on chapter 5. Of course, maybe this time I'll write an outline of each chapter before I actually do it. ;

And another note. I'm sorry if Tasuki's language offends anyone out there. When I first uploaded this chapter on ffnet, the little stars wouldn't show up in any expletive words, so I had to write them all out so it wouldn't appear too confusing. Gomen nasai. Hopefully, it'll work when I upload chapter 5 and then I can upload the edited version of chapter 4.

So, what has Nashie been working on fanfiction-wise? Well, Aeternum Vale, for one. That's currently my baby, since I have all these ideas for it! Please review this story as much as you review Cinderella. Remember, its reviews that make me want to update. Speaking of which, all of you guys should thank otaku-no-miko, because she was the one who wrote the review that told me I haven't updated in soooo long! It's kind of like cracking a whip at me! Go, Nashie!

And a note to otaku-no-miko – I need a description of you so I can put you in my story. ; Thanks.

Again, probably another anticlimactic scene with the Figure. But as you might be able to tell, this is just the beginning of the showdown. Cinderella takes a suddenly serious turn – our play could possibly be demolished! And what's all this with the Text? I know, lots of questions and little to no answers. Don't worry, I believe there are at least three more chapters of Cinderella to go, perhaps four. And then we're moving onto Pirates of the Caribbean. I cannot wait to start that one.

And a disclaimer – Nashie does not known "A Midsummer Night's Dream." The figure makes a reference to that when she quotes the last line of the play, saying "Robin shall make amends." This is my favourite Shakespeare play, second only to "Hamlet" and "The Taming of the Shrew". Everyone should read it (or rent the movie with Michelle Pfeiffer in it…)

Anything else? Oh, yes. I really would like your thoughts on what I should add to this story. I'm writing for both my amusement and yours. So if there's a certain scene you would like to see in here, please feel free to tell me! Though I'm trying to deviate too far from my original storyline, a little bit of sugar can spice up a fanfiction any day!

Now I'm off to begin chapter 5 of Cinderella and continuing chapter 3 of Aeternum Vale, which promises to be a very dark twist of Fushigi Yugi.

So until chapter 5, I'll be seeing you! (winks)