CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody
Written by Nashie
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Disclaimer: Yeah…I don't own Fushigi Yugi. Tough luck, huh? (sighs)
Random Inside Joke of the Day: "What, are you going to throw me out the window?"
Random Quote of the Day: "Duuuuuuude."
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CHAPTER 5:A – OUT OF THE FRYING PAN
Despite the fact that the show was nearly cancelled just a few minutes earlier, the crew of Cinderella seems to either have forgotten about the brink of calamity lingering near them or have simply decided to ignore it, for reasons both of mentally sanity and the fact that sometimes being ignorant is the best policy. The wings of stage right and stage left are ominously quiet, void of all the roughhousing and stage whispered bantering that were signature earlier in the evening. Instead, the crew and some of the casts' eyes are paying rapt attention to the performance out on stage.
On stage, amidst the soft white glow of the spotlights and the cheerful waltz being played the orchestra, Miaka and Tamahome dance, completely caught up in one another's gaze. But just for the briefest of instances, Miaka glances around at the crowd and winces, faltering slightly in her step, slightly ruining the image of the goddess from heaven visage the dress and lighting had created for her.
"Everyone's staring at us." Tamahome smiles down at her.
"Really, I had forgotten anyone else was here."
Backstage, Nashie rubs the back of her head. "Now, please, don't go all zombie-like on me, and just sing the song…"
"Zombie-like?" Neko-ane gives the director a confused look. Nashie grins.
"Y'know…" She pretends to get sparkly-eyed. "'Miaka'…'Tamahome'…'Miaka'…'Tamahome'…argh, I hate it when they do that. You would think they would know each other's names by now. Besides, you're only supposed to call summon else's name like that when you're having…"
"Say it and die." Tasuki gives Nashie a long look, and the director simply simpers innocently. Neko-ane scratches behind her head at the absurd statement, and then shrugs, turning her attention, not back to the performing couple on stage, but on a certain blue-haired monk standing on stage right. Nashie catches her gaze and sighs, thanking the four gods in heaven that Chichiri was as far away from possible from raving fangirls. She really liked Neko-ane, but getting the small redhead near the magician spelled disaster.
Back on stage, Miaka and Tamahome have begun to sing "Ten Minutes Ago", and other couples have joined them in their waltz. Nashie sighs and rubs the back of her head, hoping that maybe, just maybe, the figure had decided just to take in the beauty of the moment and leave them be. But somehow, she doesn't quite belive that's what happened. The others had tried to console her, but Nashie still couldn't get rid of that sinking feeling in her stomach that something big was going to go down.
She hadn't meant to offend anyone, but seeing how the play might very well end in disaster…well, she wasn't so sure anymore. "So…are you guys ready for the-" Tasuki gives her a look, and smirks.
"This is the fourth time you've asked, Nashie, and the answer is still the same," he replies, sticking out his tongue. Nashie bashes him in the arm, causing him to wince. "It's not my fault you can't keep your head screwed on straight. You're the director – you're the supposed to be payin' attention and all that shit." Nashie tries to shake off the accusation, but she knows that Tasuki is right. She just can't seem to concentrate with the knowledge that something really bad might happen to her cast, and she would be powerless to stop it.
And I didn't save us from two of the most annoying scene changes in the book! Nashie glances out as the dancers began to perform the waltz version of "Ten Minutes Ago". She is only slightly aware of the fact that MoonshadowJedi and Bob alert her that Miaka and Tamahome have both retreated to the stage right wings. She nods automatically as Chichiri enters the wings on stage left. He gives her a cheerful grin, and pats her on the back.
She smirks at him. "Ready for this scene change?" He nods, as the dancers finish their last dance moves. The orchestra crescendos and then ends the waltz, as the audience politely claps for the performace. The lights dim, and the black curtains quickly shut. As soon as the curtains are closed, the dancers quickly usher themselves off to the stage left make-up rooms. The removable flats fly up into the rigging overhead, and MoonshadowJedi and Mitsukake remove the thrones from the stage. As they are doing this, the grand staircase seems to magically shrink into the background.
"The lights are preset and ready!" Teki calls over the headset as Nashie watches the staircase morph into a white marble fountain. She rushes over to it, and quickly begins fussing with the pipes. A long gray pipe snakes back behind the furthest black curtain, invisible to the audience's eyes due to some strategically placed bushes and benches. She latches the pipe into a small opening at the back of the fountain.
"Chiriko, we're ready with the fountain." A few moments later, the fountain springs to life. Nashie lets out the breath she had been holding, glances around the stage, realizing that she's the last crewmember still on the stage. She scowls, and runs off, just as Tamahome, Miaka, Yui, and Nyan-Nyan take their places behind very tall rosebushes. Beyond the black curtain, she can hear the ending of the interlude. "Alright, you guys. We're ready."
As the interlude ends, the black curtains smoothly open to reveal the garden scene. Teki has preset all the blue lights to create a night setting, with a single white light set out to be moonlight. The fountain's water sparkles beautifully in the garden, and the bushes, marble benches, and small trees are placed to create a soothing, eye-pleasing design. Miaka and Tamahome emerge from behind one of the taller rosebushes, continuing their waltz from the previous scene, oblivious to everything around them.
So they don't see Yui and Nyan-Nyan, who have obviously followed them from the ballroom, trail behind them. Miaka and Tamahome stop dancing, gaze into each other's eyes, and walk off to the stage left wings. Yui approaches the downstage area, looking off to where the two lovebirds exited. She crosses her arms, and gives Nyan-Nyan a disappointed look.
'Why would a fellow want a girl like her
A frail and fluffy beauty?
Why can't a fellow ever once prefer
A solid girl like me?'
Nyan-Nyan rolls her eyes, sitting on one of the benches.
'She's a frothy little bubble
With a flimsy kinda of charm
And with very little trouble
I could break her little arm!' She laughs, and joins Yui upstage.
"Oh why would a fellow want a girl like her?
A girl who's merely lovely?
Why can't a fellow every once prefer
A usual girl like me?"
"You know," Sake interrupts over the headset, "this is the very thing feminists fight for. Guys are only attracted to the pretty, perfect girls." Nashie rolls her eyes, and Mitsukake clears his throat.
"Neither Yui nor a grown Nyan-Nyan are ugly, Sake-chan," Nashie reminds her friend.
"But it's still annoying. I'm going to have to agree with the stepsisters in this song."
"You're an odd, odd girl, Sake-chan."
"That's what makes me so wonderful!"
"…"
Back on stage, Yui and Nyan-Nyan have retreated into the shadows of the fountain as Miaka and Tamahome emerge back on stage. The two finish their song, but end up falling backwards into the fountain, splashing water all over the place. The audience erupts in laughter as the two break out into arguing, neither of them realizing that neither Tamahome nor Miaka even noticed their presence. The girls glare at each other before crossing their arms and turning their backs to one another.
Nashie sighs. "Yippie, a scene change right back to the palace. Chiriko…the water pump, please."
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Out in the audience, a young woman nudges her friend next to her. "That was a short scene, huh?" Her friend nods, thoughtfully chewing on a Sour Patch kid.
"You know, Neko-ane hasn't returned to her seat yet."
"I noticed. Maybe she really had to go to the bathroom."
"For a half hour?"
"Point taken." The girl holds out her hand. "Sour Patch, please."
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Backstage, Neko-ane sneezes.
The next palace scene is already beginning as Hotohori and Nuriko begin dancing with Miaka and Tamahome, respectively. Nashie hands Yui and Nyan-Nyan towels as they enter the stage left wings. Both of them are soaking wet, but thanks to a spell from Chichiri, neither of them are leaving the floor wet. Nashie gives them both grins. "Have fun swimming?" Yui smiles slightly, drying out her hair.
"Anything to destroy this terrible dress you put me in."
"I'm hurt, Yui. I thought you like the dress." The blonde gives her an incredulous look before walking back to the dressing room areas. Nyan-Nyan simple giggles and disappears in a poof of smoke, leaving the crewmembers to cough in the pink smoke left behind. "I hate it when she does that." Nashie glances out onto the stage and crosses her arms in an annoyed fashion. "After this, it's back to the garden scene, and then back to the palace again." She winces. "I really hate these short scenes. They work so well in the movies, but when you try to put it on stage, then it sucks."
Tasuki grins. "All I know is that I'm in the next scene."
"I agree. That is about all you know."
Tasuki scowls.
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Yui enters into her dressing room, still drying off the back of her dress. Unlike some of the other's rooms, hers is functionally bare and organized. She had been stricken by a wave of dizziness whenever she walked into Tasuki's or Miaka's or Tamahome's dressing rooms. Clothes would literally be thrown everywhere, along with bags and other accessories that Yui had to wonder about sometimes. Most of her stuff was placed in the closet (when she had tried to reason with Tamahome the use of the closet, he had given her the blankest stare she had ever received).
So it didn't take her long to realize that something was out of the ordinary in her room. Yui glances over at the vanity, and immediately spots it. It was a small, azure-coloured envelope, with a white wax seal. She blinks and picks it up, flipping to over. Her name is the only marking on it, and even then, she couldn't decipher the handwriting.
A fan? She plugs in her handheld hairdryer, and turns it on, frowning at the envelope. Well, curiosity killed the cat. She runs the hairdryer through her short, pale locks a few times, and then sighs. And is about to kill this girl too. She turns off the loud, yet small contraption, setting it gently on her vanity before picking up the envelope.
"Well, let's see what a fanboy has to say," the young woman murmurs aloud, removing the wax seal and opening the envelope. Inside lays a simple, undecorated card. She pulls it out, and opens it slowly, hoping that nothing dire would come springing out and choking her to death.
But there is nothing that drastic inside. She stares at the message inside, blinks, and then frowns.
There is information you might want to be aware of. Tell Miaka to call this number immediately.
Yui stares at the number. A joke? Probably not. Oh, dear. This night is getting stranger and stranger by the minute. And how did someone get into my dressing room in the first place? She sighs, placing the card back in the envelope. Remember to give this to Miaka – soon! She pats her dress, and remembering that she has no pockets, bites her bottom lip.
Sighing, she finally slips it into the corset part of her dress, and hopes it won't fall out before she gets a chance to see her best friend.
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On stage, the scene has reverted back to the garden. The blue light plays nicely against the white gossamer of Miaka's gown and the golden satin of Tasuki's shirt and wings. The two stand close to the stage left wings, with Miaka standing in front of Tasuki, pleading with him to let her go home.
Tasuki crosses his arms. "So you're just givin' up? Just like that?" Miaka hesitates, but she looks close to tears. She sits down on one of the benches, and her shoulders slump slightly as she looks up at her faerie "godmother".
"I'm not what they think I am." Tasuki smirks at her, resting a hand on one of her shoulders.
"All they're thinkin' is that you're the prettiest girl here. And it's not like they're lyin' or anything." It looks as if he's about to say more, but they are interrupted as Tamahome emerges from stage right. Tasuki's spotlight disappears and he slips offstage as Tamahome calls out to Miaka. The girl turns back to where Tasuki had been standing, and blinks when she realizes he's not there anymore. Tamahome comes to sit by her, a pleading look on his face.
"Please," he says quietly. "I don't know what my parents said to you, but I apologize." Miaka looks slightly surprised.
"No, no. They were wonderful…compared to my family." She looks slightly downcast, but Tamahome doesn't seem to notice it. He assures he that he wants to meet her family, earning him an alarmed look from Miaka. Tamahome chuckles after Miaka shoots down his request to meet her family a second time, and gives her a small smile.
Backstage, Nashie is scowling, and tapping her foot impatiently. "I hate this song. It slows down the entire musical!" Tasuki rolls his eyes and he and Mitsukake share a look. Neko-ane is currently amusing herself with a few card tricks, glancing up every so often to wait for a more climatic scene to appear on stage. She would have been a lot happier if she were on stage right where Chichiri was, but unfortunately, Nashie prohibited crossing the stage unless all hell was about to break loose. For just a small instant, Neko-ane really wished it would break loose.
At that moment, Yui returns from her dressing room, dried and looking a tad bit annoyed. Nashie winks at her. "Feeling better?" Yui crosses her arms, and nods.
"But I found a note in my room. Someone wants to talk to Miaka." Nashie hesitates at the idea of an anonymous person leaving a note in Yui's room. Yui notices the look on her face. "I don't know. It was a blue envelope and it had a white seal on it. I didn't recognize the handwriting, though." She hesitates. "I think we should let Miaka call. I don't know what will happen if someone else calls." Nashie winces.
"Like having our stage go boom?" She groans, smacking her forehead. "I bet all the great composers and directors in the world didn't have to go through this mess to survive opening night! I mean, what else can go wrong?"
"Are you trying to jinx us?" MoonshadowJedi demands, and Nashie notices her waving frantically on stage right. "Didn't you say something like that at the beginning of the play, and then all this stuff happened? High school musicals were never this tough."
"If you're not counting that one time I dropped a flat on somebody," Nashie grumbles. For a second, there's silence over the connection. Then, almost everyone on the headsets bursts into laughter. Nashie flushes as she realizes what she just said. "Oh, shut up." She can see MoonshadowJedi grin at her from the opposite side of the stage. "It was an accident."
MoonshadowJedi snickers. "Right. We know. That's why it's so funny."
"You all suck."
"We still love you, Supreme Director!" Sake teases. Teki agrees, but both of them cannot contain their laughter. Nashie grumbles darkly under her breath, and looks up towards the rigging. Someone really just wanted her to lose her grip on reality before the night was over, didn't they? Was this some sort of cruel cosmic joke? Because she wasn't laughing.
Tasuki rapps her on the head as Tamahome and Miaka begin singing their duet on stage. "And I thought Miaka was bad." Nashie groans and buries her face in her hands.
"Not you too. And stop hitting me on the head."
Tasuki pauses in his attacks, and then he grins. "Under one condition."
"What condition? Ow!"
"I can flame-boil this bastard who's causin' all this shit to happen as soon as the musical's over." Nashie winces as another knock on the head sends her reeling. She nods frantically to stop him, and once he does, she hits him upside the head with her Big Stuffed Fish.
"Don't do that again!"
Tasuki rubs his head in pain. "That hurt like hell…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Nashie crosses her arms. "Don't do it again." She glances out on stage. "I hate this song. I really hate this song. And we have a scene change coming up."
"Chichiri already knows," MoonshadowJedi responds over the headset, glancing at the monk, who is watching Miaka and Tamahome passively. "He says that he wants to get paid for all his services here tonight – acting and staging." Nashie growls something under her breath.
"He wants to get paid, huh?" she grumbles. "Send him over here, and he'll get paid." MoonshadowJedi blinks and relays the message to Chichiri. Nashie watches in amusement as he looks a little bit surprised at her response, telling MoonshadowJedi something she can only faintly here over the connection. MoonshadowJedi smirks, and giggles slightly, adjusting her videocamera, which has taken in more interesting clips tonight than should have existed.
"He says he's not interesting in that kind of payment."
"What?" Nashie nearly shrieks, staring at Chichiri in stunned disbelief. "Oh, that's it. All of us have been spending way too much time around Tasuki." She whirls around to face the bandit, sticking an accusing finger in his face. "You're having a bad influence on everyone in stage crew!" Tasuki grins.
"Yeah. So?"
"Argh!"
Back on stage, Miaka and Tamahome are very close to a kiss as they sing the last verse to the song.
"Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream
Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?"
They kiss each other softly and passionately as a romantic sigh can be heard from nearly all the fangirls in the audience. Someone makes a gagging noise up in the balcony, but is quickly shushed by other people in the balcony with him. Just as the two pull apart from their kiss, deep chiming can be heard in the background. Miaka's eyes light up in stunned horror, and she pulls away from Tamahome.
"I can't stay!" she exclaims, and runs off to the stage left wings. Tamahome, surprised, runs after her. The orchestra strikes up into a hasty version of "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?" as the curtains quickly close. The audience murmurs quietly among themselves, but just a few moments later, the curtains open again to reveal the palace scene. Miaka rushes through the crowd, towards the staircase. The dancers look at each other in confusion as Tamahome follows. Hotohori and Nuriko, alerted by the consternation in the crowd, also hurry towards the staircase.
"Wait!" Tamahome calls as Miaka flees up the stairs, following her off backstage. "Come back! I don't even know your name!" The dancers take this cue to leave the stage. The lights on stage left and right darken and only the blue lights in stage center remain on, to create the outside entrance to the palace. Miaka runs from the entrance and down the stairs, her beautiful dress disappearing into her rags as she descends. She stops for a moment, stunned, before looking behind her and running off towards an unlit section of the downstage area.
Tamahome emerges a few moments later, and looks around, but finds that Miaka is nowhere to be seen. He descends a few steps, a look of sadness sweeping over her face.
'Do I want you because you're wonderful?'
A spotlight lights up on Miaka, who also appears saddened.
'Or are you wonderful
Because I want you?'
The two look off into the distance, not taking in each other's presence on stage.
"Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream
Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?"
The spotlight disappears from Miaka's form, and Tamahome turns to go back into the palace. He suddenly stops however, and scoops down to pick up…a glass slipper. He holds it up to the light, looks out into the audience once more, and, holding the slipper, returns to the palace. The orchestra crescendos to a coda of Tamahome and Miaka's duet before the lights dim to a blackout, and the curtains close.
Backstage, Nashie lets out a sigh of relief. "One more act to go. Please, let us survive it."
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