Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Artemis Fowl. All rights go to Eoin Colfer.

Note: This is the last chapter for this fic. In a few days, I'm going to put up a sequel. Title: Artemis Fowl: Legend of Frond. And Alexis will be there! And sorry this took so long!

Thanks to absolute power, aperfectattitude, athleticsrulz, cloudlessnight, Cyberspace, Kinns911, me-obviously, miroku-has-darkness, OperaGustus, shadowgirlVG, Stiggy,The Dark Emperess of Eternity, and Zarroc. I love you all! (But not that way)

Chapter 14: Home Again

Vanderbelt Summer home, Ireland

The sky looks funny, was the first thing Alexis Vanderbelt thought when she regained consciousness. Just the one patch, directly above her. It was hazy, as if she was underwater. For a moment, it seemed like a human shape, but it disappeared. She wasn't even sure if she had really seen it when she thought back to that moment.

Looking around, she noticed that she was on the ground, beneath the cliffs behind her house. She tried to get up, but found that there was a stinging pain in her shoulder. It was deep purple, and Alexis wondered how it had happened. Vaguely she remembered looking for a sheep…but it was blank after that. She must have fallen down the cliff. Hopefully the lamb was okay.

"Um, somebody?" she called out. What if no one knew that she had gotten out and her parents were still watching some dumb puppy movie with Alex?

"Hey, I heard something! Alexis?" It was a strange voice she had never heard before. Who would be looking for her other than her parents? The police? How long have I been out? She wondered. Through the dense brush, a guy wearing a uniform stepped out and ran to her, yelling into a walkie-talkie. Odd, his uniform is blue, Alexis thought. Aren't they green? No, they're blue. Her confusion was broken by her parents running out to her.

"Alexis! Are you alright? What were you thinking, doing that? Don't you ever do that again!" Her mother changed from concern to anger in a frightening time. "Oh, my poor baby! What happened to your arm? Oh, quick, get her to the hospital!"

Alexis groaned as she was taken up on a stretcher, not because of the pain, but because of how embarrassing the situation was. "How long was I out?" she coughed.

"Nearly three days," the doctor told her as she reached the awaiting ambulance. "I've never seen this before. You should be completely dehydrated, and it looks like you just feel asleep, not fall down a ninety degree drop. Do you remember what happened to your shoulder?"

"I…don't know. Must've grabbed onto a branch or something," she mumbled.

"Plausible," the doctor didn't sound too convinced. Alexis didn't notice. For bring asleep three days, she was dead tired. She allowed herself to drift off to the rocking of the ambulance. It reminded her of something, but the only thing she could think of was ice-cream. Very odd.

Hovering twenty feet above the ground, Holly Short watched as the girl was taken away to be healed in the primitive Mud Man fashion. For a moment she had been worried, with Alexis staring right at her shielded form, but unlike a troll and group of restaurant patrons in Italy, she saw nothing. Turning the Hummingbirds throttle open, she flew back to the Fowl Manor before Tara.

After reassuring Artemis that Alexis was indeed fine, she couldn't contain her curiosity.

"Fowl, was that your idea, or hers?"

"Hers, of course. Why do you ask?" He sipped on some Earl Grey that Butler had brought in, and the manservant sat down next to him, his eyes scanning the security cameras.

"Well, if it was yours, you had a lot of knowledge about her home and how it worked," Holly shrugged. "It seemed like a big assumption on your part."

"That people would care about her enough to look for her?"

"No, the location. Why did she choose that spot?"

"She told me, that on the night she was taken," he said slowly, careful not to say 'kidnapped'. Best not to remind holly of those days, "She was looking for a lamb. One of the places she looked was above the cliff. It would have been easy for her to have stumbled in the dark, and started falling."

"And that's why you left her shoulder slightly dislocated?"

"It is a common injury found in mountain climbers that have fallen. Hey grab a boulder, and are falling so fast that gravity causes the dislocation. It was healed thoroughly, so it is easily possible," Butler explained. Holly nodded, and looked at the large grandfather clock.

"Well, I have to get back underground. By now, Mulch has stolen something or endangered his life."

"But isn't he at police Plaza?" Artemis inquired.

"The more reason to worry. He knows half the officers there, and not from afternoon tea." With that lovely parting comment, she took off through the window, just as the car holding Angeline and Artemis Fowl Senior came through the front gate.

"Best that we pretend that we're asleep," Artemis said to Butler. He quickly changed, and retired. Truly he was very tired, and fell asleep before his parents came in to check on him.

Police Plaza, Haven

Mulch was looking at all the familiar faces at Police Plaza, both in the cells and outside of them, when someone called his name. It wasn't a pleasant voice, and for a moment he could pretend that it was a commander that didn't hate him. Like Root. Root looked like a brother to him compared to Ark Sool.

"Convict!" the gnome called again. As he shuffled into the Ops Booth, he murmured, "That's ex-convict."

He sat down in a swivel chair, resisting the temptation to spin around in it. That wouldn't be professional. Across from him, Foaly and Trouble Kelp sat. He wished Holly would hurry up. Three out of the four people in the room didn't really like him, and if Holly got there, then two out of four would like him. Wait, he counted on his fingers. He really hated math. Unless the numbers were in ingots, he didn't care.

The door opened, and for a moment he hoped it was Holly, but it was another gnome. Judging by his clothes, he was a doctor of some sort.

"Doctor Argon, what are you doing here? We're trying to write a report!" the commander barked. Mulch groaned. That was what they were going to do? Properly record the case? He always hated this part of whatever crime he did; it was long and boring.

"I have a patient--"

"Good for a doctor to have a patient," Sool said sarcastically. "Too bad you couldn't hold on to all of them."

"Opal is a genius, and fooled my systems with a clone. But that's not what we're talking about, is it?" The poor gnome was stammering.

"Actually, yes it is! She's back in custody, and we have to write her up, for the third time since you let her escape!"

"Will you listen to me?" Argon exploded. He glared at Sool. The commander got up.

"I have work to do. Let them listen to your bellyaching." He slammed the door.

"I looked over the testimonies, and found one that was interesting. You gave Commander Root and Holly Short some new suits, right?" Foaly just nodded. "How did they work?"

"Fire resistant, shockproof, invisible to radar, and they would send diagnostics to the Plaza," Foaly said, counting off his fingers. "Why?"

The gnome was shivering. "What happens if the suit is taken off? Would you still get a feed?"

"It would give the stats of the person nearest to it. Again, why?"

"Four months ago, a patient came in. It looked like he was in an explosion of some sort," the doctor said quietly. "No ID, but a really weird suit. It was mostly destroyed, but the parts that remained matched the environment. His face was particularly burnt. As if he had worn a helmet but no visor."

"Why didn't you report any of this?" Trouble asked. There was the slightest bit of hope in his voice. He realized who it could be, as did Foaly. Mulch was having trouble, since he didn't really know about the suits.

"Because you thought he was a criminal, didn't you?" Foaly asked, his voice very tight.

Argon nodded. "I didn't think it could have been an LEP. But after I read the report--"

"I'm sorry, but it's impossible," a new, defiant voice said. Holly had just entered the room. "I watched him…die."

"Are you sure? Can't you just take a look at him?" Argon pleaded.

"I'll go," Mulch said, having finally caught up. "If it is, wouldn't he just love to see me?"

"How could it even be possible?" Foaly said. "If he's at a hospital, the suit--"

"Is in storage, next to the morgue. The closest thing to it would be dead bodies."

"Fine," Holly and Foaly said.

"I'll stay here," Trouble said. "So Sool won't completely explode at finding you gone."

Holly smiled, and as she left, mouthed thanks. It didn't matter that she wasn't an LEP anymore. Sool would still yell at her like she was. Just as she left, she heard a deep yell from the room, and quickened her pace. Mad commanders were like bull trolls. Best to avoid them.

The J. Argon Hospital and Clinic, the Lower Elements

Holly sat on a bench with Foaly as they waited for Argon to get a clearance for the ICU. From what Argon had explained on the way, all of the patient's face had been severely burned.

"Foaly, I'm no healer, but why not just heal the burns with magic?"

"Normally, that is the best thing to do. But faces are different. Any facial injury can be tricky when healed by another's magic," Foaly started slowly, like someone talking to a child. "If Mulch's face was drastically burned, and you healed him, he'd bear a resemblance to you. Depending no how bad his face is disfigured, and how much magic you use, of course."

"But his face is already disfigured," Holly joked. Unfortunately, Mulch heard.

"Hey!"

"I'm only joking. You're very beautiful," Holly said.

"Me? No, not me," Mulch looked into one of the mirror like windows. "Oh, I guess I am beautiful." He slicked back his hair, grinning at his reflection. Neither Foaly nor Holly could contain themselves and burst out laughing.

"As I was saying, the face is best healed naturally, even if it takes a longer amount of time," Foaly finished as Argon came back.

"We're in luck, he's awake. Come along," he started off down the hallway. "When he first arrived, he was nearly catatonic. Over the past few weeks, he's woken up a bit. And he's speaking more now, too."

"Did he tell you who he is?" Mulch said, observing the highly chrome like hallway, imagining how much it all cost.

"Well, he said it once, but didn't claim to be him. And we have a new program, where we get acorns for our patients to plant, so their magic doesn't deteriorate. He should be completely healed when we get there, so we'll know for sure." Outside the door, the gnome paused. "If it is him, I can't promise that he'll be the same."

"That's fine by me. He never liked me before," Mulch said, trying to be cheerful. With a sigh, Argon opened the door, and Holly gasped. Standing at the foot of the bed, was Julius Root. Her eyes grew hot, and she knew she was crying. Foaly patted her shoulder, ushering her in. Mulch was blunt.

"Julius! Do you remember me? Or did you finally lose your mind?"

"You reprobate! You be quiet! Don't call me Julius!"

"It's him," Mulch said, shying away from the old commander.

"Commander," Holly whispered, wiping a tear from her eye. "You're alive."

"So it seems," Root said. "I have a few questions."

"Shoot," Foaly said, overjoyed. His hooves were rising and falling rapidly in a very excited manner. Or else the centaur had to use the bathroom.

"Okay. One, what happened to me. Two, how long ago did it happen. Three, why did you bring Mulch? He should be in prison, no matter what that warrant says!"

"Oh Julius, I was pardoned! Wouldn't you know it!" Mulch exclaimed gleefully. Holly noticed a vein in the commanders forehead start to swell.

"Opal blew you up," Foaly started, but he was immediately interrupted.

"I remember that. What happened to her?"

"She's in our custody after trying to kill Holly, Artemis, Butler, and me. And also for trying to send eleven million tons of molten iron into Haven, and for almost killing all of us again, along with Major kelp and Arty's little girlfriend," Foaly explained quickly. "And for supposedly killing you."

"That was four months ago," Holly said quietly. Root's eyes widened.

"How did that happen? If I'm in a hospital, they should have run my records and ID," he turned on Argon.

"I thought you were a crook! If you had seen yourself when you were wheeled in, so would you!" the gnome cowered. Before Root could get another word out, the doctor hobbled off.

"We have a lot to tell you," Foaly said after Argon's escape.

"Yeah! Like Holly and I started a P.I. business, and--"

"What? Short, tell me he's joking!" Beetroot was liking up to his name.

Holly winced. "After you, um, didn't die, Ark Sool from I.A. took over. I couldn't handle him, and left to help haven my own way. And Mulch needed a job, so--"

"I'm her partner in crime. Well, un-crime I guess," Mulch chuckled.

"They got Sool to replace me?" The trio nodded. "D'arvit. I guess I'm out of a job."

"Sir, they'd have to let you back--"

"No, Holly. Just the way it works. I wish I still could be the commander. I'd be proud to say that I was the commanding officer of the first female major in the LEP," Root sighed. "I suppose it'll be someone else."

"Actually," Mulch said, staring at his spade like feet. "You were."

"What are you talking about convict?"

"That's ex-convict. Before he left for the surface, I helped Artemis have a little reunion with his C Cube."

"You didn't," Holly said.

"How would you know where it is?" Root demanded.

"Julius, you leave all your contraband in the same place. Easy enough to get in. Anyway," Mulch continued, ignoring the three identical glares from Root, Holly, and Foaly, "we hacked into the LEP system, and he made it so that the announcement for the promoted major was the day before you died."

"That sounds familiar," Foaly said, remembering the warrant for Mulch.

"Yeah, he got the idea just off the top of his head, I'm sure," Mulch said quickly. "It was a thank you."

"Things sure have changed," Root said, rubbing his temple. "But that doesn't solve the matter of what I'm going to do. After four months, I bet my place was sold to someone."

"Well, if you work with me and Mulch, I'm sure you could live with him, " Holly said.

"You're joking, right?"

"Or Foaly should have a spare room."

"Nope, one bedroom apartment. Sorry Julius."

"I have a spare bedroom," Mulch said in a singsong tone. Root looked desperate.

"Anybody but Mulch," he practically pleaded.

"I'm deeply offended Julius. What's wrong? I have room, and you need a room, and you'd get to yell at me whenever you want. We'd see each other at home, and at work!"

"I know I'm going to regret this, but fine." He started to leave the room. "but it is only temporary, until I find my own place. Now I have to get discharged."

Holly and Foaly followed behind Mulch. Holly couldn't help but grin. Opal, the biggest threat to the People, was in jail and no bail this time. Artemis and Butler were still the only two Mud Men to know about Haven, and goblins weren't supreme overlords. And Root was alive. Things just might finally be looking up in her life, which had been mostly downhill since she first met a very smart Mud Boy.