CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody
The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.
Written by Nashie (who does not own Fushigi Yugi, by the way)
-à--à----
CHAPTER 5C: SECRETS, THREATS, AND LETTERS
Out in the audience, the crowd shifts restlessly, many paging through their programs to see if there is another scheduled intermission they had missed earlier. Sitting near the rear of the theatre, two girls are currently drawing hearts around the headshot of a certain blue-haired monk. One of the girls is chewing on what appears to be twenty Sour Patch kids.
"My hearts look better than yours…"
"Whatever. She's still not back yet."
"Maybe she got lost."
"I think we need to go find her. After all, we came in together. And she's the one with money for dinner afterwards." The other girl frowns. "And you're going to get cavaties if you eat any more of those, Polynesia…you're already hyper as it is…"
Polynesia blinks, and pops a green Sour Patch kid into her mouth. "Uh-huh…I'm just really excited to see Chichiri and the others…I think they're super cute…" Her companion sighs, flipping through the programe again. Only three scenes left, still there was yet another intermission. After the mess that had occurred during the first act, she wondered why in the world the director hadn't cancelled early. Not that Otaku-no-miko wanted the production to end early.
She picks up her pen again, and begins drawing swirls around Chichiri's picture. "I wonder if they're going to do another musical after this…"
She is interrupted by a beeping noise from the floor. She blinks and glances down at the ground, frowning at Polynesia's backpack, where the sound seems to be coming from. She pokes her friend and then points down at the girl's backpack. "Please don't tell that's what I think it is." Polynesia startles to attention, glancing at Otaku-no-miko and then at the floor, quickly grabbing her bag up. She slides the zipper open, and pulls out a fantastic-looking device, that has so many wires and various gadgets attached to it, it looks like it is the result of a kitchen explosion. Also, a little red light is blinking on the top, or what Otaku-no-miko assumed was the top.
Polynesia blushes bright red as curious and annoyed stares are flashed their way. "Um…sorry?"
"I can't believe you brought that!"
"I couldn't just leave it at home!"
"Do you know how silly that thing looks?"
"But it's for a good cause…" Polynesia then proceeds to pull from her bag a pair of sunglasses that may have once been normal but have since been taken over by wire and scraps of aluminum foil. "My Chichiri-detector has never once told a lie!" Otaku-no-miko buries her face in her hands as her friend scrambles to her feet, throwing her bag of Sour Patch kids into her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. "This means he's in close proximity! Come on! Let's go!"
"But-!"
"No time for thinking! We have to find Chichiri!"
"But-!" Otaku-no-miko's words are cut off as Polynesia grabs the girl's arm and drags her from her seat and towards the exit, ignoring the incredulous stares she is getting. Otaku-no-miko lets out a defeated groan and presses her hand against her head.
Neko-ane still wasn't there.
-à--à----
Backstage, nothing short of sheer chaos has erupted. Nashie is currently panicking, and everyone else who knows what's good for them has decided to stay as very far away from her as possible. MoonshadowJedi believes that Nashie can't tirade indefinitely, and suspects that once the girl is out of breath, she'll be reasonable to talk to.
"I don't believe this! Stealing one of my actors who is also my special effects director! And my sound manager! I can't believe the nerve of that jerk! I swear, if it weren't for that letter…I am going to tear her from limb to limb after I find her. And when we'll see who has the last laugh! I can't believe she kidnapped Chichiri and Sake! Who know where they are? They could be in Tahiti or Alaska or Bora-Bora or Switzerland and no one would know because the one person with magical powers has gone and been kidnapped! All because of a stupid letter! I can't believe any of this is happening! How in the world could she do this to me? Doesn't she know I don't have any money? I can't believe she's risking all this because of some stupid blackmail! I'm going to tear her apart! I swear it! And then I'm going to burn her! And then I'm going to chop her up! And then I'm going to-"
"Um…Nashie…?" Miaka ventures.
"What?" The priestess winces at the tone of the director's voice, but she doesn't back down.
"I have to go the bathroom. I'll be right back, I promise."
"And have you get kidnapped too? I don't think so!" Tasuki scowls at Nashie, who continues her tirade right where she left off. He grabs her arm to stop her pacing, and whirls her around to face him.
"Listen. Rantin' about it ain't gonna get us nowhere. Miaka'll be fine. It's not like we can continue on without Chichiri anyway." Nashie's eyes narrow, but Tasuki doesn't allow her to retort. "You're supposed to be the director. You need to start actin' the part. If you fall apart, the musical falls apart with or without that figure's help. So, the way I see it, it's your choice."
Nashie frowns at the bandit. "Fine, Miaka. Go. But be back here soon. I don't want to add you to our list of missing people." Miaka's face lights up, and she runs off towards the wings. Nashie gives Tamahome a look. "If she's not back in five minutes, you're going to look for for." Tamahome sighs and nods, running a hand through his dark hair.
"Well, until we figure this out, what do we do now?"
"You don't do anything. I go out into the audience and shake this figure down until I get some answers. Then I'll take care of the Matrix couple. Then we continue with the musical. Then we go home. That's what we do." Tamahome gives Mitsukake a look, and the tall doctor nods in understanding. The rest of the gathered cast and crew share dubious looks before separating to their respective sides of the stage, hoping, maybe, that the problem will be solved quickly enough.
Meanwhile, Miaka bursts from the backstage doors and into the chilly winter air. She shivers, wrapping her arms around her middle, before running towards the front of the building. The sounds of late traffic drift from the street, and the orange streetlights beam down on her form as she hurriedly runs towards the front of the building and up the stairs towards the front entrance. She glances around in consternation for a few moments – there is no one there.
"Oh, great!" she exclaims with a puff of air, fuming. "What a liar!"
"I'm not a liar…" a voice reprimands her from behind, and Miaka squeals, spinning around to see someone sitting in a dark corner of the landing, where the streetlights and moonlight could not touch him or her. "You must be cold, if you didn't even grab a coat before you ran out here." Miaka sticks out her tongue, hopping from one foot to the next, trying to keep warm. The rag dress was woefully inadequate at keeping her toasty.
"Why did you want me out here? Are you gonna kidnap me like you did with Chichiri and Sake?" Miaka demands, pointing an accusing finger at the person. The figure laughs quietly, sending shivers up Miaka's spine.
"I didn't kidnap them. I'm here for an entirely different reason." With that, the person stood up and walked out of the shadows towards Miaka. She frowns, as he (yes, definitely 'he') comes into the light – tall, very tall, and slimly built, with the most amazing pair of blue eyes she had ever seen. She stares at him nervously as she takes in all his black clothing, and the pair of sunglasses tucked into the collar of his shirt.
"You're-!"
"I wanted to talk to you in private. The girl I came…she wanted to find out more than I did. But I already knew." He shrugs. "It was easy to pinpoint since the others knew your director loves Shakespeare so much. She should never have left that bag of quotes out in the open." He approaches Miaka and hands her a small folded red piece of paper. "You might want to know what this is all about." Miaka gave him a long look before reaching to take the paper from his hands. She unfolded it and read its contents, her eyes growing bigger and bigger by the second.
"You mean, this is the infamous note?" Miaka exclaims, looking up at the tall young man. He nods, a bit of a smirk on his face as he stuffs his hands into his pockts. "This is…big."
"You'll need to tell her. And tell her it's not important anymore." He frowns, as if trying to decide how to put his words. "Tell her Robin has made amends. She should understand that, I think." Miaka gapes at the young man, and then down at the small, insignificant letter in her hands. The source of all their problems. And here she had it. And a chance to make things right.
"Is there a catch?"
"No catch."
"How can I trust you?"
"We both want the same thing – to destroy this letter. Why would I stop you?"
"Good point," Miaka murmurs, tucking the piece of paper into one of the pockets of her apron. "Okay. You have a deal. I'll tell Nashie, but you have to leave now." The young man chuckles.
"Fine. Never did much like musicals anyway…" Without another word, he walks past her and back into the lobby. Miaka stares at him as he leaves before realizing that she never asked for his name. She pulls out the piece of paper, and looks for a name to be scrawled on it. But it seems as if he had already taken care of that – permanent marker had already been scratched over where she supposed his name had been. She blinks unsteadily before a grin slides onto her face.
Maybe things were looking up after all.
-à--à----
The girl looks up as her partner comes back towards their seats, picking his nun chuck up from the floor. Her dark eyes narrow as he gestures for her to follow him. "Where are we going?"
"We're leaving."
"Why? I'm sure that the trail ended here."
"I don't think the trail even needed to be created. We can go now."
The girl frowns at him, but then sighs. "But it was so fun playing the part…"
"I think they have enough trouble on their hands without us messing them up even more. Besides, it was harmless, and pointless."
"I guess…" She laughs. "Wait until I tell the others at school. They're going to flip. That's one mystery that'll have her tied in knots for awhile." Her companion nods with a smile of his own, wrapping an arm around her waist. Together, the couple heads towards the exit and leave the theatre for good.
-à--à----
Monks, Sake thinks, are not always the best people to trust.
She sits on a chair in the dark, her arms tied behind her back. The only light she sees is coming from the space under the door, and it wasn't enough light for her to see exactly where she was. And it is starting to piss her off. She rocks the chair back and forth, but, as before, she can't find anything to knock the chair against. She wants to scream her lungs out, but had realized earlier that her voice was gone. Pictures of a cheerfully grinning monk dance through her head.
I though Chichiri was a good guy, and here he is, siding with the enemy! When Nashie finds out, she's going to bite his head off. If I don't get there first! Sake tries sliding the chair across the floor to the door, and scowls when she finds that wherever she is, the chair is tied to something only brings her within three feet of the door. If she slides down in her chair far enough, she just barely touches the door with her toes. She wishes she had headset to call for help, but Chichiri had been smart enough to take that away from her too.
I'm going to give him hell when I get back. I swear it.
She is so busy ranting in her mind, she almost doesn't notice the muffled thump of someone else landing in the room. But the someone managed to kick her chair, and she startles, spinning the chair around to the best of her ability to attempt to see a face. No luck. She wonders if some other unfortunate castmember had been magically teleported into the room with her. At least that way, no one would think she was crazy once she hopefully got out of-
"I can't believe she did that, no da."
Sake's eyes fly open, and she furiously spins her chair around to where Chichiri might possibly be sprawled on the floor. Deciding that he can't see her angered glare in the darkness, she settles for a quick kick in his arm. The monk lets out an 'oomph' of surprise, and Sake hears him quickly sit up and back away from her chair. She squints in the darkness, trying to look as imposing as possible.
"Sake-chan? Is that you?"
Silence.
"Oh, right. The spell, na no da." Sake hears him mutter something incomprehensible below his breath before feeling a sharp tingle in her throat. She coughs in surprise. "That should fix it, no da."
"I'm going to-!"
"Not now, Sake-chan. We're in big trouble, no da."
"Maybe you should have thought about that before turning all Benedict Arnold on us!"
"Who's Benedict Arnold?"
"Argh! That's beyond the point!" Sake squirms against her restraints. "Nashie's going to kill you when she finds out that you've been helping ruin her musical. She worked really hard for it! And she trusted you! And you go and do something like this!" Chichiri lets out a frustrated sigh.
"It's not how it looks, no da. Believe me when I say that."
"Why should I? You've lied to us all night, and you haven't done a thing to stop that figure from totally demolishing our musical!" While Sake is ranting, Chichiri gets to his feet and crosses behind her to untie the ropes. She continues, either from not seeing what Chichiri is doing or just too riled up to care. A few moments later, her wrists are free and she swings them in front of her, leaping off the chair. "I'm going to save Nashie the work and hurt you myself."
Chichiri frowns. "I suppose you don't even want to hear what I have to say in defense of my actions, na no da?"
"Not really."
Chichiri walks over to the door, and touches the doorknob, only to have a brief flash of light throw him off. He winces. "I knew she would try to keep us in here." He turns to Sake. "You need to be told the truth, no da. About why I'm helping her. Then maybe you'll understand that I didn't do this for my own amusement, na no da."
Sake crosses her arms. "Why should I trust you now?"
"Because if you don't, we can't stop her. And she is certainly intent on bringing this musical crashing down around us, na no da." Sake looks at him as best she can through the darkness, and bites her bottom lip. As much as she wants to distrust Chichiri, a part of her still is urging her to go ahead with him. She hesistates…
…just long enough for there to be a shuffle on the other side of the door.
"I told you that thing doesn't work!"
"It's perfectly usable!"
"It led us to the janitor's closet! Why the heck would he be in the janitor's closet!"
"I don't know…"
"And I bet it's locked too!"
Chichiri and Sake exchange looks before Sake approaches the door and bangs on it. "Hello?" There's silence on the other side of the door. "Hello? Is anyone out there?"
"See! I told you it worked!"
"Except that's a girl talking, genius!"
"Well, it's not like we're not here to help if she's stuck inside."
"How many times do I have to tell you that that piece of junk does not work?"
Sake rolls her eyes and bangs on the door again. "Hello? We need some help here. We can't get this door open, and it's really important that we get out of here!" There's a moment of whispering on the other side of the door, and Sake somehow manages to control her temper. "Listen, whatever you're arguing about, can you argue after you get me and Chichiri out of here?"
Stunned silence on the other side of the door. Then…
"Oh, my god! I knew it work! See, I told you so!"
"Is it my fault that it looked like it doesn't work worth beans?"
"But it did work, so nyah!"
"WOULD YOU TWO PLEASE GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE?"
An embarrassed giggle comes from the other side of the door. "Oh, yeah. Just a second." The doorknob rattles as the person on the other side of the door tries to pull it open. After a moment, the doorknob stops moving. "It won't open!"
"Try turning it, genius."
"Oh, yeah…"
The doorknob rattles once again, and then the door slowly creaks open. Chichiri and Sake both blink as light from the hallway fills the small closet, nearly blinding them. Sake steps out into the hallway and looks around. It looks as if they had been teleported to the very back hallways of the theatre, if the white-washed walls and far-spaced florescent lights mean anything. She blinks in confusion at the two girls standing in front of her. One of them looks like a normal teenager, with a t-shirt, faded jeans, and a baseball cap pulled low over her blonde hair. But the other is holding some sort of weird mechanical device and wearing the oddest pair of sunglasses Sake had ever seen.
The girl with the sunglasses grins maddingly as Chichiri steps from the room. "See! I told you worked." The other blonde winces, and manages an apologetic smile at the other two.
"Sorry. She's just a little excited about seeing you, Chichiri."
"Like you're not excited! You have a crush on him too!"
"Polynesia!"
Sake winces. "Okay…how did you find us? I mean, not even the other members of crew come down here. At least, not during a show." Otaku-no-miko blushes a bit as Polynesia waves her device frantically in the air.
"This! I made it purposely for finding Chichiri! And see how well it worked!"
Chichiri offers her a pleasant smile. "Thank you so much for finding us. I'm not sure we would have made it out in time if you hadn't." Polynesia swoons, and Otaku-no-miko turns an even deeper shade of red. "By the way, what are your names?"
"Oh! I'm Polynesia! Inventor extraordinaire!"
"Um…I'm Otaku-no-miko. Just…just Otaku-no-miko."
Sake gives them a wave and a grin. "Sake, sound queen. Of course, my throne has currently been usurped by C-Guy…" She glances at Chichiri. "We better make a run for the stage or else this show is never going to end." She pauses. "I wonder how many people are going to be asking for a refund when this is over." Chichiri frowns at the thought.
Polynesia and Otaku-no-miko share looks. "Hey, do you think we can see you guys after the show?" asks Polynesia, taking off her sunglasses. "You know, typical stage door pictures, and stuff? Plus, I really want you guys to advertise my Chichiri Locator. It could sell millions!"
Sake and Chichiri sweatdrop, as well as Otaku-no-miko. "We'll see what we can do about that. But we really have to run now. Nashie-chan is bound to kill us if we show up so late. This is the umpteenth intermission we've had so far."
Otaku-no-miko nods. "And we better go to. We should find Neko-ane while we're at it." Sake starts, blinking.
"Neko-ane? She's a friend of yours?" The two blondes nod, and Sake puts her hands on her hips. "Small world after all."
"Yeah. She disappeared during one of the first intermissions. The one after the "Little Corner" song that Miaka sang. We had gone to the bathroom, and by the time we came back – boom! She was gone!" She made it face. "Doesn't help that the people in front of us kept talking doom and gloom throughout the show. The guy left a little before we came looking for you."
Sake's face crumples in confusion. "Doom and gloom?"
"Yeah. They kept talking about something called the Text and getting revenge and all this other mess. Looked straight out of a Matrix RPG." Chichiri and Sake share looks.
"The Matrix couple!" they both exclaim at the same time. Polynesia and Otaku-no-miko blink. Sake shakes her head. "It's a long story. But we've been having trouble with them for awhile." She grins a devilish grin. "I think it's time we took care of them once and for all."
"Before you run off into the horizon," Chichiri interrupts, "we need to find Nashie and warn her, no da. If we don't…"
"The end of the world as we know it will happen. I got it." She grins at their two rescuers. "Well, it won't hurt to have more company backstage. You can fill us in on all you know about this Matrix couple on the way." Polynesia jumps up in down in excited delight at the prospect of spending more time with Chichiri. Otaku-no-miko gives a polite wince.
"Let's go, then."
-à--à----
Nashie looks up into the rafters of the stage, slowly counting to twenty under her breath. She rarely lost her temper (though tonight was beginning to put a nice big dent in that part of personality), yet when she did, hell always managed to break loose. She wondered what gods in heavens were trying to punish her for putting on a musical. She thought about the Four Gods, and glared suspiciously at the dancing chibi-Seiryu that formed in her head. No, that couldn't be it. At least, that better not be it.
She looks down at her broken headset. By some random weird occurance, all of the crew's headsets had stopped working. Just like someone had turned the switch off on all of them. New batteries didn't help. Neither did readjusting some of the wires inside the compact little boxes. She had been ready to throw all the headsets at the wall. But she knew that wouldn't have helped. This strange occurance once again had a magical root.
She was going to kill figure once she got her hands on her.
"Well, look at it this way," Teki says with a small smile, "at least the theatre itself hasn't gone up in smoke yet."
"Are you trying to jinx us, Teki-chan?"
"Just trying to make you feel better."
"It's not working." Nashie rubs her temples. Everything is set up for the palace scene, but it had been fifteen minutes since Sake, Chichiri, and Miaka had disappeared off the face of the planet. "I can't believe I let Miaka wander out to go to the bathroom. Something told me I should have made her stay. Now she's kidnapped too, we're almost forty-five minutes behind schedule, Chichiri and Sake are still nowhere to be found…why do these things always happen to me?"
"Probably because you're such an easy target – not that you're a pushover or anything," Teki quickly corrects herself as Nashie sends a murderous look her way. "Probably because you have interesting reactions to when things go wrong. Sometimes you nitpick over the tiniest of things."
"The day hell freezes over is the day that I let everything just roll off my back."
"Well, you might wanna check the news," a voice pipes up from the stage right wings. "I think I just heard there's been a record-breaking blizzard in the devil's city." Nashie and Teki spin around, only to see Sake, Chichiri, Miaka, and two blondes neither of the stage members recognize walk from the stage right shadows. Following behind them are the rest of the crew and cast members. Sake grins. "Miss me?"
"I'm going to kill you!" Nashie exclaims. "Where in the world have you all been?"
"Long story. And we need to talk to you about something very important." The uncharacteristic seriousness in Sake's eyes causes Nashie to frown. Sake waves her hand quickly. "It concerns everyone."
Miaka nods. "I have something to tell you all too." With that, she reaches into the apron of her costume and pulls out a red slip of paper. Nashie's eyes go round the minute she sees it, and she turns her stupefied expression towards Miaka, who looks a bit cross. "The Text. And all of its contents."
"Where did you get that?" Nashie manages to sputter. Miaka raises an eyebrow, and smiles slightly.
"A nice boy gave it to me. He told me that it's not important anymore, and that Robin will make amends." She scrunches up her nose. "Something to do with Shakespeare." She walks over to Nashie, and holds the note up. "Nashie, you have some explaining to do." All eyes turn towards the director, who looks like a deer caught in the headlights. She glances at Chichiri, and Sake notices the look. She crosses her arms.
"Nashie isn't the only who has some explaining to do. Right, Chichiri?"
Tasuki frowns. "What's going on here?" Miaka gives a small shrug before giving Nashie a nice long look.
"I think she'll tell us."
Nashie looks around nervously as she takes the letter from Miaka's hands. Here it was. After so long, it finally made it back to her hands. She takes a deep nervous breath, and unfolds the piece of paper, reading the words on it that she had written so long ago. The others look at her expectantly, and she murmurs a quick prayer for the condemnation about to come.
She begins to read.
-à--à----
Author's Notes: (07-18-05) So what does the letter have to say? Chapter 6A will reveal all!
I'm no longer saying when I'm updating. Just look for the last few chapters of Cinderella within a few weeks, along with the first chapters for Pirates. And I'm sorry. This story was supposed to be finished nearly a year ago. Pirates was only supposed to take the summer to finish. Why have I been late with updates? Increased work schedule, no internet access, and the fact that my computer is located in the hottest room in the house during the summer and I'm forbidden on it most of the time.
Note, when this story is over, I'm putting all the chapters back into their longer-version. I'll only do this once the plays or musicals are complete.
Bear with me all. We're almost there.