If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.

E. M. Forster

"Aw no you don't!" Abigail Lincoln said, running after her quarry.

"You gotta catch me first!" Wallabee Beetles shouted, dashing from point to point around the treehouse, keeping just ahead of his angry predator. In his hand was the red hat Abby always wore. Now that it was off, he could see her eyes much more clearly.

Which was why he was running.

He screeched through the living room where Kuki Sanban and Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilligan Jr. were playing a game of cards.

"Numbuh Three!" he cried. "Help!"

Kuki smiled and waved at him. "Hi, Numbuh Four!" As usual, her long green sleeves covered her hands completely.

Wally jumped over the back of the couch and, subsequently, over the game they were playing in front of it. Abby followed without hesitation.

"Just give her back her hat, Numbuh Four! Sheesh!" Hoagie said. "Got any fives?"

"Go fish!" Kuki shouted.

"No way!" Wally shouted, just dodging a swipe from the rabid ten-year-old behind him. "She pulled my hood over my head!"

"Only 'cause you wouldn't quit buggin' Numbuh Five about playin' that stupid videogame!" she growled.

He turned and pointed at her. "DestructoDeath 5000 is not a st–"

All the air left his lungs when Abby plowed into his stomach. They tumbled to the floor. Wally gasped for breath as Abby grabbed her signature red hat and put it back on.

"What's going on in here?" a voice came from the hall.

"Numbuh…One…" Wally wheezed.

"Numbuh Four?" Nigel Uno said, staring at him in mild disbelief. "What…oh, nevermind." He stretched his arms out. "Kids Next Door, I've received word that the Toiletnator has devised a plan to make children everywhere pay to use school bathrooms."

Wally just snorted. Abby said, "Numbuh One, that guy ain't worth our time! He's done about as much evil as rainbow monkeys."

Kuki's eyes shone. "Ooohhh! The new Nappy Night Rainbow Monkey came out! And and, ooohhh! They just re-released the super dooper special ultra cute Chunky Dunky Rainbow Monkey! Oh, oh! And…"

"Anyway…" Nigel said, "the Toiletnator may be, uh…non…threatening, but that doesn't mean we can ignore him! We're the Kids Next Door, and it's our duty save kids everywhere in peril! We all took an oath when we became pa–"

"O–KAY, o–KAY!" Wally shouted, finally having regained his breath. "Sheesh, Numbuh One! Do ya have t'recite the whole cruddy pledge every single mission? It's SO annoying."

Nigel frowned. "Fine then. Any questions before we head out?"

"Numbuh Two, do you have any sevens?"

"Aw man! How'd you know?" He passed over three cards, completing Kuki's last set.

"Yaaaaay!" she cried. "Old maid!"

"Huh?"

The Cool Bus touched down just outside Gallagher Elementary. Its door opened up, and the five kids shuffled out.

"This has got to be…the stupidest thing that doofus has ever done!" Wally cried out in disgust.

"Yeah. Who attacks a school during summer?" Hoagie said, eating the last bite of the chili dog he'd grabbed before leaving.

"Let's jus' get this ovah with," Abby said.

Nigel stared at the school's doors and frowned. "Numbuh Two brings up a good point. Why would he do this during the summer?"

"Who cares?" Wally said. "Just let me give him a HUH! And a little HAH! And a bit o' TAKE THAT, you stupid adult!" The others watched with jaded looks.

"No, I still don't like it," Nigel said. "This isn't like him. He doesn't care about other kids now; he just wants us, and, mostly, you, Numbuh Four."

"So it's a trick," Abby said. "Does that make a difference? The Toiletnator's plans may be better, but he's still the same ole villain."

Kuki gasped and covered her mouth. "Do you think he went into the girls' bathroom?"

"I have no doubt," Nigel replied. "He's an adult. He thinks the rules don't apply to him."

Kuki's smile disappeared, and her eyes burned with a fiery vengeance. The others backed off slightly as she dropped the weapon she'd been carrying.

"No boys in the girls' bathroom!" she growled. "NO BOYS IN THE GIRLS' BATHROOM!" She walked over to Wally and grabbed the collar of his orange hoodie. "Come on, Numbuh Four!" she said and began dragging him toward the doors.

Wally grasped at her hand, trying to dislodge it. "Numbuh Three! Numbuh Three, come on! Numbuh Three? Kuki! Let go!" He looked back at his companions, who were watching with mild amusement. "Guys! Come on guys, help me! She's nuts!"

The three looked at each other, shrugged, and following the rampaging Japanese girl inside.

Kuki threw open the doors. "Come out, you girls'-bathroom-goer-inner!"

Nigel shook his head. "So much for the element of surprise."

"Surprise?" a voice sounded. "Is surprise what you want?" It was unmistakable. The Toiletnator's voice was coming from the PA system. "Then surprise is what you'll GET!"

A steel plate slammed down behind them, blocking the entire door. Every window, they saw, was being given a similar treatment, as were the fire escapes. When the noise finally subsided, they knew they were trapped within the school.

"Hahaha!" The adult's insane laughter echoed through both the hall and minds of the children he was fighting. "I've finally got you, Numbuh Four! I've finally got you! And you can't escape! And it was all my plan. Mine! I am the Toiletnator!"

"More like Toilet Trainer!" Hoagie shouted, then laughed. "Comedic gold!"

"Shut up, you stupid, stupid kid! You don't know how to swim, do you, Numbuh Four?"

"None of your business!" he shouted, clenching his fists.

"Look down at your feet."

The team gasped as one.

"It's all wet!" Kuki said.

"It's rising, isn't it?" said Nigel.

The villain laughed again. "I've plugged up every single toilet in the entire school. Now they're all overflowing at once! You can't run, you can't do ANYTHING! I've finally done it! I've done what no other adult could do. I beat the Kids Next Door!"

"Not yet you haven't. Numbuh Two, check the door and windows. Numbuh Five, you look for another way out. Numbuh Three, you and me are going to start unclogging those toilets. Numbuh Four, you go after the Toiletnator."

"Alroight!"

"Kids Next Door—Battlestations!"

The water was up to Wally's knees by now. He plunged down hall after hall, heading toward the Principal's Office. His heart was pounding harder and faster with every passing minute. Soon it would be too high for him to walk, and then…and then…

He steadied himself. Now was no time to freak out; the office was near. He'd been sent there enough times to know. It was weird seeing the halls completely empty. If it wasn't for the mortal danger, he might have chanced a peek inside one of the classrooms and maybe gone through the teacher's desk.

His nostrils suddenly caught scent of a putrid aroma. Its power was strong enough to leave him wavering for a moment.

"Ugh!" he said, sticking his tongue out in revulsion. "That's just dis–gusting! I'm gonna give that Toiletnator a piece o'my fist!"

The Principal's Office was just around the corner. The water was up to his waist now; his pants were entirely soaked through.

"Come on, Numbuh Two, get that door open."

He tried the knob, and, to his surprise, it wasn't locked. He had to push harder than normal; the water had built up in the office as well.

There was the Toiletnator, sitting cross-legged on top of the Principal's desk, smiling devilishly. His maddened eyes bored into Wally's face, searching for any trace of fear.

Unfortunately for him, there was naught to be found.

Unfortunately for Wally, his voice was as screechy, whiny, and annoying as it had always been.

"You can't escape, Numbuh Four! You're going to pay for what you did to me!"

"What, show what a loser you are? Shut up and get ready for me to kick your bu–AH!"

He jumped to one side as two of the villain's paper strands flew his way. He crashed into the water, squeezing his eyes as tightly as he could. His hands found the floor and pushed. Breaking through the surface, he inhaled sharply and rubbed his eyes to get rid of the water.

"Oh, now you've made me MAD!" he cried, jumping at the adult. The Australian caught him in the stomach, and the two fell to the desk's surface, punching, grabbing, scratching, and kicking.

"I'm not gonna—OW!—let some stu—AH!—stupid kid ruin my revenge!"

"You shoulda thought o'that before—NGH!—before you messed with ME!"

The Toiletnator managed to get on top of the child, crushing him. His gloved hands closed around Wally's neck, further constraining his breathing.

"This is it!" he shrieked, eyes wide with excitement. "You'll…never…beat…me…AGAIN!"

Wally's hands slid around on the desk, searching for something—anything—to use. Everything was becoming hazy; the villain's insane laughter began to sound farther and farther away, melding into one continuous stream of sound, one moment set apart from the next by changes he couldn't quite grasp.

He opened his mouth wide, attempting to pull in air with every ounce of strength, but to no avail. He couldn't take much more of this. It was the end. Going down fighting…that wasn't so bad.

A new sensation brought him back into reality. Cold. His arms had still been flailing, and one had gone over the edge of the desk. The drawers' handles were made of metal, and his fingers had closed over them. He jerked it open and pulled out what he grabbed first.

He aimed for where he'd last seen the Toiletnator's eyes. A scream, and then he was free! The hands released their grip, and, for a moment, nothing else mattered but taking in as much of that beautiful air as he could. He heard a splash and turned to see the adult waist-deep in the water. In his hand lay a letter opener.

Dropping it, he turned back to the drawer, still inhaling heavily. His enemy was climbing back onto the wooden battlefield, left eye shut, right eye blazing.

"You little whelp!" he growled. "Next time I won't let go, no matter what you do. Next time I'll squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until your little head pops off!"

"I'm not…so little…!" His fingers enclosed the Principal's stapler and threw it full force. It struck the villain's forehead dead center. He stared at Wally for another moment, then his eyes rolled back, and he collapsed.

Wally lay back and breathed. Everything was becoming blurry again. His neck hurt, and his wet clothes were so heavy. Sleep…sleep sounded good.

"Not…little…"

Cree Lincoln bowed before Father, who was sitting on his favorite chair.

"You called for me?" she asked, rising.

"Yes, Cree. Follow me while I explain your next mission." He got up and began leading her down a hall. "I've begun yet another plan to finally finish off those Kids Next Door. But this time it's going to work. This time I'm not letting any of my bumbling underlings do the work for me. I'm doing everything, and it's already been working out better than I'd hoped."

"Then why do you need me, Sir?" she asked.

"You're an integral part of my plan, Cree. I need someone to infiltrate the Kids Next Door headquarters, and that someone is you."

"I can do it, Sir! But I don't need anything else, so why are we going to wherever we're going?"

"But you do need something else. Those snotty brats have perfected stupification rays. If you get hit with one, you'd become their prisoner for sure, and then I'd have to trade a prisoner to get you back. But I've created a shield that can block any blast, even a stupification ray. That's what we're getting."

"Will this be a field test, then?" she asked anxiously.

"You could say that."

"I won't fail you, Sir!"

"No, you won't."

"So," said Cree, "what do you want me to do once I'm inside?"

"I'll tell you that once I've outfitted you with the shield."

She was starting to get her location confused. They'd gone through so many passages—she knew Father's mansion was big, but this big?—she knew she couldn't find her way back.

Cree noticed the red carpet beneath her feet. The overhead light illuminated the hall, but not very well. She was beginning to get a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. Father was acting too…reserved. No maniacal laughter, no dynamic poses, no evil grins. Just simple, quiet walking, hands held behind his back.

He must've been incredibly excited about this new plan.

Father took hold of the handle and cranked it down, unlocking the door. When he opened it, Cree could only see blackness.

"I have to admit, Cree," he said, "that I've been lying." He grabbed a hold of her shoulder and pushed her violently inside. She collapsed to the ground, bewildered. Fire sprang from Father's hand, spreading light to the room.

"You are an integral part of my plan," he said, "but only because of your relationship to Abigail."

"Father!" she cried. "But…but…"

"Yes, you were my most impressive minion. But, as I said before, I'm doing this alone. Besides, I don't play favorites; look behind you."

"Tommy…Mushi…that brat's little girlfriend…" she gasped and turned to Father, pushing herself to her feet and growling angrily.

"We fight kids, not babies!"

"The plan wouldn't work without him," Father said with a grin.

"He can't even talk yet!" she said. "He has no part in this!"

"All's fair."

"Father, don't do this! Look, we can keep the other three, but give the baby back! He doesn't know what the Kids Next Door is!"

Father slammed the door shut.

"No."

She was in total darkness once again. She could hear the whimpers of her fellow cellmates. Sighing, she pressed her back against the wall and slid down.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," she muttered.

"Oh yeah! Sure!" Tommy shouted. "I bet this is all a trick!"

"Shh! You'll wake Joey!" Lizzie said.

"Like it matters!" said the youngest Gilligan. "He can cry all he wants. Father's not gonna let us out."

"Guys…stop it," Mushi said, huddled in the corner. "We…we just need to wait. Kuki's gonna come with her friends and rescue us."

"Yeah!" Tommy said. "Hoagie's gonna come and blast through the walls with his lasers! Brreow! Brreow! Zap! Bang!"

"Nigie has to rescue us, yeah…" Lizzie said, the young Beetles still resting on her lap.

They all stopped talking when they heard sobs.

"Mushi, is that you?" Tommy asked.

"No, it's…"

"Tommy, use the flashlight," Lizzie said.

"That's The Tommy…" he muttered, shining the light.

Cree's head was resting on her arms. She was wearing her pink t-shirt and blue jeans, as usual, although they were usually covered up by her BRA during battle.

"Cree?"

"Don't talk to her, Mushi, she's just a stupid teenager!"

"That's so mean, Tommy!" she retorted. "She's sad…isn't that the only thing that matters?"

"Shut up!" Cree shouted suddenly, causing Mushi to yelp. "Just leave me alone! None of you can understand. Stupid kids." She sniffled and laid her head back down.