Let's Do It For The Sandwhiches
Acepilot

AN - No. 25 in the Road series. This was a concept which I've had kicking around but has proved difficult to put onto a page, mostly because of my dedication to keep all the Road series stories using the same, first-person writing style. I hope you enjoy it. By the way, the title is a quote from the ace Aussie movie "Crackerjack".

By the way - a reminder:

Chuckie and Angelica are the parents of Carmen
Dil and Amanda are the parents of Louis
Phil and Kimi are the parents of Marcus and Cara (who is dating Chris)
Tommy and Lil are the parents of James (who is dating Sophie), Andrew and Cassandra.
And, just for you Acosta, Suzie appears. She doesn't speak, but at least she's there.

Disclaimer - All AGU characters are property of Klasky-Csupo. All their children are my own creations.

----

Tommy

The moment the fateful words left my eldest son's mouth, I knew exactly what was going to happen.

It had all begun innocently enough in the midst of a pleasant, almost-too-hot-but-not-quite late-summer afternoon. The picnic had wound down, the 'let's laze about in the sun' period had begun, and a good time was being had by all.

Then James had suggested a game of basketball.

Even this was alright. He found major backing in Phil, of course, and together the two of them set out to recruit everyone who was willing to play (or unwilling to be annoyed by them any more). Once they had assembled everyone on their generations, with our own parents deciding to sit the whole thing out, the issue of selecting teams came up.

This, of course, was where it all went downhill.

Chris had suggested that each team have an equal number of kids and adults, but that plan had the obvious flaw that there were an uneven amount of both, meaning one team would have an extra adult and another an extra kid.

To which James had said, "Yeah, you're right. That would give one team an advantage."

Which was when Phil had dropped the ball he'd been idly dribbling. "What do you mean by that?"

James turned to him, smiling oddly. "Well, y'know. The team with the most kids would be better off than the one stuck with an extra adult."

And so now we're standing here.

I exchange a brief glance with my brother, who raises an amused orange eyebrow, grinning broadly. He motions to Phil and makes a strangling maneuver on his own neck.

"Why is that an advantage?" Phil asks, his eyes narrowing dangerously. I can see Kimi over to the side torn between interfering and stopping her husband from blowing a gasket and trying not to laugh.

"Well...you guys can't really mix it with us anymore, can you?" James offered.

My wife bangs her head on my shoulder and I'm inclined to agree with the sentiment.

"Guys," Phil says, not looking over his shoulder but evidently referring to his fellow generation X-ers, "I think we're being called old."

Chris chuckles out loud, and I sense rough times ahead. "Well, come on Mr. D. It's not like you didn't know this already. I mean, you were a great basketballer and soccer player when you were our age, but let's face it - you guys are all over 40 now."

Phil steps up to his daughter's boyfriend with a dangerous glint in his eye. "I'll have you know I could wipe the floor with you in a heartbeat, kid."

"Alright, care to put your basketball where your mouth is?" Chris asks, not backing down an inch. I'm beginning to turn red from keeping from laughing.

"You're on," Phil declares. "Kids vs. Adults."

"Who'll umpire?" Amanda asks, already stretching from her vantage point next to Dil.

"Well, I can - "

"No!" Close to twenty voices cut Chuckie off mid-sentence. His wife grabs his arm menacingly. "If I'm playing this stupid game, then you are too."

"Betty can do it," Kimi suggests, motioning to my mother-in-law, who shrugs.

"Sure, why not?"

James and Chris exchange a glance before James turns back to Phil. "You know we won't go easy on you."

"Just shut up and get ready, Jimmy."

----

Lil

I sit down on the bench by the court with a sigh, glad to be on the interchange for the opening hostilities. My idiot brother is pacing slowly around the tip-off circle, stretching every now and then. I should have warned James not to suggest Phil was inferior at anything because of his age. I may have lied about how old I was a few years ago, but at least I'm taking it better these days than my younger sibling.

Phil was unanimously elected captain - surprisingly, Suzie, Dil, Amanda and Angelica have all taken this as personally as Phil has, and actually seem to care. Tommy, Chuckie and I just voted him in because we didn't really want anyone to suggest us for the job. Anyway, my twin, my husband, Dil, Chuckie and Angelica drew first duties. Phil's standing practically nose-to-nose with James, smiling like a madman which is made admittedly unnerving by the fact that his prescription sunglasses are blocking his eyes. James doesn't seem to be flinching. He chose Chris, Cara, Marcus and Louis to back him up on the first run, which, I'll admit, is a pretty imposing line-up. What Cara, Marcus and Louis offer in speed, Chris and James equal in power and accuracy. I'm not so sure about Chuckie's abilities as a defender.

Mom is eying the lot of us clearly with the opinion that we've lost our collective minds, but shrugs anyway, blows a whistle that she appropriated from somewhere, and throws the ball up in the air.

The tip-off is a bit ordinary and it's a miracle that Phil manages to salvage it from a clear lean toward James. My eldest son quickly dodges out of his uncle's way in an attempt to save his skin rather than the ball, and it's on for, literally, young and old. James stumbles backwards, luckily, as Phil plows on, noticing Chris coming from his side, and passing off to Dil. Dil dribbles in place for a minute, assessing the situation as Phil tries to shake Chris, before finally settling on throwing the ball back to his brother. Tommy passes back to Dil who, evidently now with a greater grasp of the situation, throws the ball to Chuckie. He nearly - nearly - drops the thing before sending it flying like a hot rock back to Phil. My twin tries, unsuccessfully, to dodge left, right, then left again, before finally giving up and faking left and passing right to Angelica, who has come around Chris on the other side. She shoots and scores, flicking her hair back in a relaxed manner suggesting that she really doesn't care that she just showed up the kids on the first time out.

Angelica and Phil briefly high-five as Stu, designated scorekeeper for the adults, pencils in a goal for Angelica and assists for Chuckie and Phil.

Five minutes later and little changes. The adults nail six more baskets while the kids are yet to register a score. Phil and Angelica are dominating with the help of Dil and Tommy, who are playing devil's advocate and keeping the kids at the wrong side of the court. Drew, keeping track of the kid's score, is yet to be troubled, despite the best efforts of Chris and James to put them on the board.

Finally, James calls a time-out, and Phil calls me out to the centre. I roll my eyes and nod, strolling out unhurriedly, just to irritate him.

"So, where do you want me?" I ask.

"Left wing. Full rotation except for Dil."

I nod. "Okay."

I watch with amusement as Sophie smacks James upside the head as she walks onto the court. "Trust you to need a girl's help to win basketball. Just watch me and Carmen show you how it's done."

---

Kimi

I have to admit that beating the kids at basketball has a certain kind of satisfaction to it. By all means they should be leaving us for dead. But instead we're seven goals up and show no contemplation of giving up yet. They only just registered their first points, courtesy a neat bit of passing from Carmen to Sophie to set up a fairly impressive basket.

I dribble the ball lazily up the court, keeping my eyes peeled for an open player. Marcus looms in front of me - although maybe looms is the wrong word, stands is more accurate. Looms implies height or weight or something. Marcus has neither, really.

I pass off to Amanda, who throws a quick pass to her husband with a wild grin on her face. He passes it back to me, and I step with ease around my only son and bounce the ball to Suzie, who shoots the basket with ease.

"You're making me look bad, Mom," Marcus informs me.

I raise an eyebrow. "You should have thought about that before coming out to play."

"Parents," I hear him mutter exasperatedly as he walks back into position.

---

Dil

As the second half of the game begins (with half-time having been called on account of Tommy's back dropping spontaneously out on him), it's evident that, though we got away to a flier, what the kids lacked in immediate skill they're making up for in their endurance. While I watch Phil and Angelica pass the ball with almost complacency, their offspring are swarming around them like angry bees, still fast on their feet and showing no sign of slowing up anytime soon. I feel somewhat sorry for the guy, but not as sorry as I feel for myself. I think my knees are going to kill me. I'm in shape, sure, but I think in shape is something of a relative term.

Then I notice Phil nod subtly to Angelica.

He puts out an impressive run of energy, dashing up court and spearing past Cara and into the key. He looks like he's about to shoot despite Chris still quite clearly in a position to block, when he passes off to the side to Angelica. She runs up to Carmen.

And that's when it happens.

Mother and daughter face off for what must have been a few seconds but feels like an eternity. Then Carmen sidesteps and Angelica walks in unopposed to slot in a basket to put the adults back on level pegging with the kids.

When she slumps down on the bench next to me, I turn to her with a curious look in my eyes. "What was that?"

"I told her I'd stop her allowance if she didn't let me through," Angelica tells me.

"Would you have?" I ask, a bit cautious.

"Of course not," she assures me. "But she doesn't need to know that."

---

Chuckie

I open up a passing opportunity to my left, dropping it in to Amanda, who passes in turn to Tommy, who finally just settles on dribbling it, nursing his still-tender back. I'm just glad that I'm not holding the ball anymore. Why the hell Phil picked me to play defence is beyond me. It's not like I can actually defend or anything.

Dil is waiting just to Tommy's side, pacing his older brother, waiting for a pass. And just as it sails across from Pickle to Pickle, it's intercepted by another Pickle - Louis, streaking across court with the wind at his back and brown hair flying. I turn to chase him down on tiring legs when I hear Dil yell, at the top of his lungs, "Anyone who can't tapdance is a fairy!"

And, to my fascination, everyone started tapdancing. Except, of course, for Dil and Amanda, who neatly recovered the ball from their son and picked off a three-pointer.

"I can't believe that worked," I tell Dil as we trudge back and wait for the ball to come our way again.

"Neither can I, to tell the truth," Dil confesses.

---

As the sun sets, the neighbourhood is greeted to one of the strangest sights it's seen in a long time. Phil and Dil are being chaired off the court by their bedraggled, struggling teammates, sans Tommy who is wisely sitting on the sidelines. The forlorn teenagers are still staring at each other in something resembling disbelief.

"Rematch sometime?" James asks as Phil is deposited in front of him.

"Next year, maybe," Phil suggests.

"Why such a long wait, Mr. D?" Chris asks.

"I'll need that long to recover."

----

that was very difficult to write, but i think it came out alright in the end. incidentally, the 'tapdance' thing was actually done by a real basketball team in victoria. they were famous for it. and it worked, too! please review.