Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: I am sorry. Sorry sorry! My life has blown big baboon. . well you can guess the last b word of that sentence. I graduated college. . found a job . . go me . . got canned from said job because of layoffs . . boooo hiss booo. Between that time I've had to move twice. Once to the city where my job was once back to my parent's because I could no longer afford it! Blah!

I feel like such a jerky bastard for not writing this story but I have been doing other stuff. Trust me when I say that this story has been on my mind and I haven't been 100 percent neglecting it. This week is actually the first week I have had steady access to a computer for anything besides work. I also have access to my cable modem again. . happy sigh.

All of you must really hate me for not updating this story as often as I should have been. I know that severely bothers me when authors don't update, and all I can offer is my eternal sorrow and shame. I'd give you my address so you could come kick my ass but I know that one of you would take me up on the offer. I have to thank all of you for your support and yelling at me. It makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.

Now this chapter is really short and I apologize for that too but I wanted to put something up to explain and keep you from making voodoo dolls or something. Know that I am working on this now between looking for a real career job and my money making job. I am spending most of my free time on this. Well that and crying over my Two Towers DVD. I should just stop watching that scene thinking that someone is going to save him like it should be! Elves aren't at helm's deep!! Sigh, you'd think I'd write a fixit for that huge, terrible mistake instead of the story I am doing now. Perhaps later ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HALDIR LIVES!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9: Childish Reasoning

Haldir was relieved when she finally agreed to wear the dress. She seemed hesitant when he put her in the bathroom but shortly he heard the sound of the door lock. It was only a few moments more when he heard the rustling of fabric. He waited patiently until no sounds came from the opposite side of the door he was standing near.

"Zinnia, do you need any help?" He asked thinking that she was having trouble with the dress. There was slight hesitation.

"No.." It sounded like she wanted to say more but trailed off. Then he heard a soft sigh. "No Master." He went rigid at those two words.

"Zinnia." He said sadly. "Zinnia, please come out here if you are dressed." Slowly he heard her move and walk to the door unlocking it. It swung open and she was there in the dress holding the shirt, which was neatly folded. She wouldn't look up to him. He lowered himself down so he would be eye-level with her.

"Look at me aier." She looked up and he saw that her eyes held tears and he sighed again. "I am not your master. You are no longer a slave. You are free, you are your own master."

"Master feeds their slaves, Master clothes their slaves, Master gives them shelter." She looked away from him. "You have done so for me, you are my Master."

"Little one, I am not." He reached and took the shirt from her and held out his hand again. She hesitated but took it following him back out into the main room. He moved and motioned for her to sit on a chair and she did. "I am not your master." He said looking to her. "No one here will be your master." She looked up and then back down to her hands she had put in her lap. "I wish to be your. . your caregiver."

"My Master."

"Why do you think that?"

"Master cares for his slaves as he sees fit."

"Do you not know of other relationships? What of your parents?" She seemed to lower even more.

"My mom was a slave and we had to leave when her Master couldn't pay some money. Mom tried to keep us but they hit her until she stopped moving, then took us away anyway. I don't know who my father is." She sighed and seemed to fidget. "It doesn't matter. Slaves don't have parents they have Masters."

"What if I do not wish to be your master?" She looked up to him then back down to her lap.

"Then you will sell me and I will be someone else's slave." She shrugged slightly. "I'm sorry that I'm not good enough. Alar would have been. He was always good, always. Never spilled or dropped anything. He learned real fast and remembered everything." Her voice got quiet and he saw that she was rubbing the material of the dress between her fingers absently. "But he's dead now." Her voice was bitter.

"I am sorry that we could not help your brother more. It was the Valar's will that he pass, none could have stopped it." She looked to him and he saw anger in her eyes.

"I could have, but I was too scared. I shouldn't' have yelled for him to help me. I should have let him run, he wouldn't have gotten hurt and. . and he might be here instead of me. Master never cared for Alar."

"He cared for you?" asked Haldir remembering the marks on her body.

"He . . watched for me. He wanted me close. If I would have stayed and made Alar leave he might not have cared. But I ran with Alar, ran and he chased us. And it was because of me." She looked away and down to the floor. "I need to start my chores Master. If. . if you want to keep me."

"Zinnia, you do not understand but know that no matter what, you will not be treated as you were by any here. I am not your master but hope to be your friend." She didn't look up. "Your only chores today will be to help me move some items from one room to another." She made no response except to stand and wait with her head bowed and hands to her side.

By the time Haldir's brothers came for lunch they had everything except the furniture moved and cleaned in his spare room. She would only answer questions directly asked to her and would always use as little words as she could. He was starting to get frustrated not being able to help her. When they sat down for lunch she started serving them.

"Zinnia, sit." He said took the tray of food from her and set it on the table. She frowned but did as he told her to.

You are giving up your study? Rúmil grinned knowing that Haldir valued his space. Haldir looked to him and sighed.

She needs a room, it wills suffice.

She does not seem happy. Orophin looked to Zinnia. Her head was bowed and she was eating slowly.

I do not know how to help her. She. . is confused, grieving, and scared I would imagine. He sighed. It took me an hour to get her into the dress, she says it is worth more than she is. The brothers were quiet. Now she thinks I am her master and nothing I say will convince her otherwise.

She will learn given time. Once she knows she will not be treated like she has been. Rúmil took a sip of his wine.

I am not so sure, said Haldir with a sigh. They watched as she stood and took the wine bottle going to pour more in Haldir's cup. "Zinnia, please. . sit and enjoy your meal." He took the wine bottle from her but she hesitated.

"Do you wish for anything else Master?" He saw how tense she was and wondered at it. "Please do not call me such aier." He tilted her head up but she averted her eyes from his. "Haldir will suffice." He smiled at her but she kept her eyes from his. "Finish your food aier." She moved back over and sat in the chair keeping her head down the entire time.

Maybe she would understand should another care for her a while. She may think that since she has not left you that you are her master. Orophin took another piece of bread.

Suvel would watch her while we are moving in the furniture. Rúmil grinned. You know how she is with children.

She may not understand the separation though. Already she thinks I will sell her to another. She started fidgeting again and Haldir looked to her. "Aier perhaps you would rather play instead of sit with us." Her hands twisted in her dress again. "The toys are in the bedroom." He watched as she walked off with a frown and thoughtful stare.

Zinnia went right to the bedroom and sat on the floor. 'Play.' She thought with a frown. Looking over she saw the basket on the floor and stared at the contents. There were more dresses in it, a dark blue and a light green. She pulled the material of the one she was wearing now and looked at it closer. The light purple seemed to change colors almost.

"Play." she said again this time out loud under her breath. She pulled the doll out of the basket and looked at it. Her fingers played over the small pointed ears and then she dropped it back in the basket. She really didn't understand the concept and looked around the room for something to do instead. Smiling she picked up all of the laundry in her arms but then hesitated. She sighed and dropped the pile when she realized she had no idea where to wash them.

'I'll wait for Master to tell me what to do.' She thought with a firm nod and went to sit on the bed. She put her foot on the bottom bar and pushed herself up but froze horrified when she heard a distinct ripping sound. Shaking she went back to the floor and looked down. Her foot had caught her dress on the frame of the bed and a hole had ripped along the hem. A strangled sound left her throat and she looked to the door that was shut almost all the way. The voices hadn't stopped and she let out her breath.

'I'll fix it. I'll fix it and he won't know.' She thought desperately starting to go through drawers looking for a needle and thread. Her agitation grew when she found nothing that would allow her to fix the dress. The fear only intensified as she tried to think of a way to hide the fact that she had ruined the dress from Haldir.

'He'll get mad. He'll get real mad. I tried to tell him!' She screamed mentally. 'I told him. . I told him I would ruin the dress.' Her hands clutched the material until her knuckles were white. She bit her lip and walked over to the door looking out the crack into the main area. All three were still there talking and she moved back to the bed pacing the room. Tears started to fall from her eyes and she put her palms to them to stop. 'He'll get even angrier if I cry.' She looked back to the door.

'I can't fix it. . change. I'll change dresses.' She moved back to the basket and pulled another out but then frowned. He would know something was wrong if she changed. 'What will I say when he asks why I'm wearing a different one?' She thought. She bit her lip again and threw the dress back in the basket backing away from the door. Her back hit the wall and she slid down pulling her knees to her chest.

'I told him. I told him.' She pulled her knees tighter keeping her gaze on the door to the bedroom waiting for him to return. Waiting for the punishment that she thought she deserved.

Perhaps you should give her to another.

What? asked Rúmil surprised at Orophin's suggestion. Haldir's own surprised registered on his face as well.

You have already given up your position as march warden. Why bother yourself. There are others that are betters suited to caring for her. Continued Orophin. You found her it is not your responsibility to care for her.

Nay brother. She trusts me, giving her to someone else now will only strengthen her convictions. Besides I promised that I would care for her.

She is not a pet.

I am not treating her as such Orophin. Haldir started to anger at his brother's words.

Orophin where is this coming from? asked Rúmil.

I just do not see why Haldir should give up his commission after all it took him to earn such a title. Especially over a damaged human child. Orophin shrugged. Leave her to another, it is not your concern.

It is my concern Orophin. I will not give her away simply because she is confused. Haldir's resolution firmed.

She is more than confused Haldir. Do you really wish to have to deal with her problems? She is not even of our kind. Most likely she will be dead before you even realize it. You will become too attached. She is not yours, not your daughter, not your responsibility.

That is enough Orophin! Haldir stood annoyed. If you disagree with my decision that is regrettable, but acceptable. I will take care of this child to the best of my abilities. I do not care that she is human, I do not care that she is mortal. Above everything she is an innocent. She does not deserve what she has lived through so far. I aim to make sure that it does not repeat itself.

Perhaps we should go see if the furniture is ready Orophin. Rúmil stood his eyes narrowing at his brother and Orophin sighed.

Very well, said Orophin standing. I am simply making sure that you understand this brother, not condemning her or you for your decision. I do believe you mean the best but is that going to be enough to help her? Haldir didn't have an answer to that question.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia jumped when she heard the raised voices from the main room. 'He's already angry.' She whimpered slightly at the thought and pulled her knees closer. Haldir was much bigger than her old master and she knew that when he hit her it was going to hurt a lot more. "Alar, I'm scared," she said quietly to herself. Her eyes went to the door waiting for Haldir. The trembles in her small frame only increased as the time went by.

'Maybe. . maybe he'll hit me hard enough to let me join Alar.' She thought with a shred of hope. She stilled and held her breath trying to hear his footsteps. No sound reached her and she let out her breath in a rush. 'Yes, I should anger him enough. . and then I'll be with Alar.' She stood slowly still trying to listen for him.

She went over to the bed and messed up the blankets throwing the pillows on the ground before turning her attention elsewhere. As quietly as she could she opened all of the drawers and threw the clothes around the room. When she was done she looked around and frowned thinking of how much time she was going to have to spend picking it up.

'I won't pick it up.' She thought angrily. 'I'll either be with Alar or in too much pain.' Her eyes landed on the weapons on the shelf and she remembered how angry he got when she said she would clean them. A smile grew on her face as she went to the shelf standing on her tiptoes to reach the tip of the dagger she could see hanging over the edge.

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Whew! That took much longer than it should have. Again thank you for all of your comments. Know that I do read them even though I don't respond to them all individually. The corrections about the grammar and stuff. . I know I haven't fixed them yet. I will! Keep them coming if you see any more. I will get to it. . just give me some time. Until then I hope it doesn't bother you too much.