They sat there like that for a while. Neither saying a word. Sometimes one would lift their cup of tea and take a sip. Hermione was beginning to feel warm again, and she shrugged the blanket down lower on her arms. She didn't want to imagine how she looked. She was sure her outer-self mirrored her inner-feelings, dreadful. Her mind sighed and, as if on cue, lethargy took over her body. She was glad she was seated, because she knew that if she hadn't been, she probably would have collapsed. She faced her ex-potions master, ready to excuse herself to bed. He was staring intently into the fire with a frown on his face. She sighed again, but this time out loud. His head snapped up and he looked into her eyes. She couldn't read his face which was completely placid-looking.
"What," he asked with no emotion. A line of an old poem ran through his mind quickly, and was gone. When thou sigh'st, thou sigh'st not wind,
but sigh'st my soul away…
"There was something my mother used to tell me you know." She stated as a dreamy look came over her features. She remained quiet, and Severus got tired of waiting for her to continue.
"Yes." He said, still no emotion seeping through his words. He was trying hard to keep them bottled up. Seeing her bathed in the firelight was enough to make him come undone. Seeing her shoulders peeking out from under the blanket was driving him mad with temptation. He must, must, practice some reserve. If he didn't he knew he would end up doing something completely out-of-character. Not that he hadn't already, but the thoughts running through his head…he could never act on them.
"Well, she told me never to frown, even when you're sad" She said. Now her face glowed as if she had been victorious somehow.
"And why is that?" He asked her, knowing full well her statement was directed at him, or his actions rather.
"Because you never know who is falling in love with your smile." What he felt then could be summed up in one word, stunned. As she stared at him, the only face he could make was one of utter bewilderment. It happened then, as he gaped at her, just as if a light bulb had gone off in his head, he knew. He was in love with her. He felt a pang in his heart. Nothing Voldemort had ever done to him had caused as much pain as he felt then. He suddenly missed her and he, just as every one does, knew why. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. He couldn't let down his guard, he just couldn't, and it pained him more. Quickly he contained himself again and he spoke.
"I don't think that I'll ever have to worry about that Hermione." He said, "I know nothing of love. It seems almost to be a mirage, or a façade.
"How could you say that. Isn't the first thing you feel, love." She asked calmly, "Love, when your mother rests her hand on your back and holds you. Love is no façade Severus. It is as real as you and me." She paused for a second, and he soaked up her words. He wanted to agree with her. Tell her she was exactly right, but Severus Snape the dungeon bat, he would never do that.
"Hermione," He said, "My life has taught me one vital thing and that is: I came into this world alone. I shall leave it alone. And, if I have to live in it alone, so be it! I am content to live it in peace with myself." She ran his words over in her mind, trying to find the best way to reply.
"A person cannot go through life without love." She stated without doubt, "Or at least not without feeling it at one time or another. Whether that person is the giver, or the receiver. Everyone has loved or been loved."
This conversation was quickly getting her heated. She would debate this the whole night if she had to. How could he be so stupid. Didn't he see that people loved him. Dumbledore had been nothing but kind to him since he himself had been a student at Hogwarts. Minerva had always tried to make conversation with him in the Great Hall. Remus was always, always nice to him, no matter how cruel Severus had been in return. Harry even, he may not have particularly like Severus, but he had respected him and after the last battle had been at least civil towards him. Her face was flushed with the unreleased anger. Severus watched as her temper began to rise and he had had enough. He took advantage of the closeness of their bodies. Just as she was about to speak again, he threw all reserve out the window. He grabbed her chin and tilted her head up. For a moment he looked into her dark brown eyes, just a moment, before he pressed his lips to hers. It was a rush. Her lips were soft and he felt a million things at once, but the feeling that stood out was happiness. When had he last felt happy? Had he ever felt happy? It took a moment for him to register the fact that she was pushing her hands up against his chest. She was pushing him away. Quickly he threw himself back, and away from her. What had he done?
"Her-Hermione." He stared at her, shocked at what he had done. She looked back running the tips of her fingers over her lips, where his had been just seconds before. Quickly he stood up and started pacing. "What the hell was I thinking." He seemed to be talking to himself now. She stood up as well, the blanket falling in a puddle at her feet. She still held her fingers to her mouth, and she was biting her lower lip.
"Severus." She whispered.
"I must be the dumbest person alive."
"Severus." She said a little louder.
"What!" He shouted, and she jumped at his words. He looked at her tiny form and couldn't help but feel like this was her fault. He then continued on ranting, "How could I actually think that…that you. You could never…"
"Please stop." She asked.
"Stop…stop. I can't stop. You were my student, you're only twenty-two years old. I should have known better. No one could ever…"
"Severus…please." She managed to say through his rants, "I-I…I'm so tired."
"You should leave. You should leave right now."
"But…but I…" She was crying now and he couldn't bring himself to look at her. She could ask him anything and he would willingly oblige. He loved her, and she would be his undoing. "Just stop it. I-I can't deal with this. Not now."
"I…am…so stu-" But his words were cut short, because at that precise moment he felt Hermione's lips on his. It was quick, too quick, he barely had time to register it. Unfortunately he had no time to revel in his feeling of utter happiness, because as soon as it had ended Hermione collapsed in his arms.
Hee, hee, hee. I realized how long I was making you guys wait for the next chapter, so I figured I would reward you for your patience. Lemony goodness! I just couldn't wait for it anymore. I know it wasn't all that lemony, but it gets better. I'll update as soon as I can. Love ya's!
---Britney
"Here With Me" Dido
I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me