Here is the correct URL for the banner. www. geocities. com/ maeluiril/ chbanner. html (remove spaces for it to work.) Again thanks to Hannah for telling me it didn't work.

Another huge thanks to Mellon1 for helping me out with this and the next chapter. Also want to thank everyone else who offered their help.

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

Chapter 15: Lessons learned

Haldir come retrieve your daughter! Rúmil's scream was mingled with a giggle that could only come from Zinnia. Haldir sighed and closed his book, going to the patio of the telain and looking down to the forest floor. A dripping wet Rúmil was holding Zinnia upside down by her ankles.

Ada! Zinnia pushed off Rúmil's legs and tried to look up. Haldir chuckled as he leaned against the railing.

Is something wrong Rúmil?

I got him wet! Zinnia laughed again and put her hands against the ground moving forward, causing Rúmil to follow her.

Child. Rúmil's strict tone was broken by his laughter as he lifted her higher pulling her hands away from the ground. Oof. . I will only be able to do this for a few more years.. She had grown in the past two years from the shy little nine year old to a very bold eleven year old.

I had to though! Elladan said that if I did not do it, I would not be able to go to Rivendell.

And what did he say that you must do? Haldir asked as he went down the steps.

He said that I had to pour water over an elf. Only if I could sneak up on one, would I be good enough. Both Rúmil and Haldir frowned at that. I waited forever but I got Rúmil! Her tone was victorious and joyful. I showed them that I could do it. Haldir looked to Rúmil and he shrugged not knowing what she was talking about. Rúmil put her on the ground and she rolled to her back, looking up to Haldir. Can I go now? I know I didn't pour it on Erestor but I figured Rúmil was an elf too so it would still work.

You were supposed to pour the water on Erestor? She nodded and stood slightly dizzy from the blood rush. Haldir steadied her as she grinned at him and practically bounced on her feet.

Can I go tell them that I did it and I can go with them?

With the twins. She nodded at Haldir's words. To Rivendell. She nodded again. And were you not supposed to ask me? She shook her head.

No they said that they would ask you once I had completed my tasks.

What was your other task? Her smile slipped some.

I. . I don't know if I should tell you. Haldir crouched down in front of her making her look down slightly.

What have I told you of secrets.

They are bad and shouldn't be kept especially if one can be harmed by it or if it harms me. . you. . well you say you but you mean me. Rúmil smirked as Haldir nodded.

Did they tell you not to say anything?

They said that . . . I'm not going to Rivendell am I?

Perhaps, when you are older, but I must know what else they told you to do?

I had to put a friend in Arwen's bed.

A friend? asked Haldir slightly concerned.

Yes, I put Hiss there, he likes to snuggle and take a nap in the dark place under the sheets. She looked to him. They said she needed a friend and I told them that Hiss likes people. Elrohir said that Arwen would like him. Hiss was an ordinary garden snake that Zinnia had declared her pet though Haldir had only found out when she had fallen out of a tree trying to get him a small cricket for a snack. She had broken her arm but had only been concerned because her 'friend' needed to eat. Did I do something bad? Her tone was hesitant and slightly fearful.

Arwen does not like snakes aier. She looked to Haldir and her eyes started to tear.

It is only Hiss though.

Dear one, Rúmil, you and I know that, but does Arwen? She shook her head slowly.

N. . no.

Do not fret so. We will go and retrieve hiss before Arwen finds him and then apologize. She nodded then turned to Rúmil.

I am sorry. She looked up to him and a tear fell down her cheek.

You are forgiven by me dear one. Rúmil took a similar position to the one Haldir had been in when talking to her. Though perhaps you will show you penitence by helping me with some chores. She nodded slowly. Now a hug before you go fish for your snake. She held him tightly and he hugged her back. I am not mad at you, do not worry.

Come Zinnia we must arrive before Arwen. Zinnia sniffed as she took Haldir's hand and they walked to the main royal telain Arwen was staying in. They were able to successfully rescue the snake from Arwen's bed. It only curled around Zinnia's small arm content to rest there as she carried her friend to safety. Once Hiss was slithering through his familiar hunting grounds, they went off to search for Arwen and complete their mission.

"Ada I didn't mean to be bad." He looked down to her and then reached down picking her up easily.

"I know such aier."

"I wanted to go to Rivendell."

"I know that as well."

"I'm sorry." She put her arms around him and hugged him.

"Zinnia you must think of your actions before you do them. Do you think Rúmil enjoyed the water being poured over him?"

"He said he needed a bath anyway." Haldir smiled but she didn't see it as her head was pressed against his shoulder.

"Yes, well that was not a bath."

"It was a shower." Haldir had to hold back his laugh.

"Be that as it may, I believe he wished to take a proper bath. Would Erestor have liked it?"

"I'm guessing no."

"I think you would have guessed right, and Arwen would not have enjoyed finding Hiss in her bed either."

"I thought she wanted a friend."

"Perhaps she does, but one should always ask before entering another's private rooms or home."

"She wasn't there."

"Then you should have waited until she was and asked if you could enter. As well as asking if she would like to befriend Hiss."

"But we went and got Hiss when she wasn't there."

"Yes, and we are going to both apologize for entering her rooms uninvited." Zinnia bit her lip as she heard that the tears threatening to fall faster at getting him in trouble too. She decided she would take all the blame and punishment.

They found Arwen in a glade near the middle of the city. She was sitting with Galadriel, Celeborn and Erestor. Haldir could feel Zinnia's mounting tension and anxiety but knew it would be best to get this over with now than to drag it out. He set her down then put his hand on her shoulder and continued walking into the glade.

Haldir, Zinnia it is good to see you both today. Galadriel greeted them and all the others looked.

Yes, I believe Zinnia has something she would like to say to Lady Arwen. Haldir gave her a soft nudge and she took a step forward towards Arwen.

And what would that be child? Arwen smiled slightly confused but warmly to the girl in front of her.

I'm sorry. She started sobbing. "I thought Hiss would like you and they said that you needed a friend then he likes covers and you weren't there. Don't be mad at Ada! He only did it because of me." Anything else she said was unrecognizable in any language as she started hiccupping making it hard for her to talk. All of the elves in the glade looked to Haldir obviously confused as to what she was apologizing for. Haldir only crouched down and hugged her before picking her up in his embrace and allowing her to burry her head in his chest continuing to cry.

Would you care to . . fill in the details? asked Celeborn. Haldir smiled slightly before explaining everything to them. Celeborn and Galadriel were both highly upset to learn of the twins' behavior. The twins were known as tricksters but for them to use a child, Haldir knew they were going to be in trouble. Arwen tried to tell Zinnia that all was well but she only succeeded in making Zinnia cry even harder. After Haldir reassured Arwen that it would be better to speak with her tomorrow he left the glade his tunic soaked through and Zinnia still crying.

He started singing softly as he carried her back home. Her sobs slowly started to stop as well as her tears. By the time he was climbing his steps her breathing was even and deep. She had fallen asleep on him. Still humming he laid her down on her bed and took off her boots and outer tunic before tucking her under the covers. He grabbed Baru and put him in her arms before pulling the covers over her.

Rest well my sweet. He kissed her forehead and left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was fast approaching and Zinnia still hadn't woken up. Haldir checked on her and pulled the covers she had kicked off back up to her neck. There was a soft knock at the door and he sighed. Deciding to leave her to her rest until the last possible moment he left the room closing the door to a crack and then answering his main door.

What do the two of you wish? Elladan and Elrohir were there both looking extremely uncomfortable under Haldir's heated gaze.

We have come to apologize.

To the little one, for our actions.

It was only a joke. Haldir raised an eyebrow at them. He remembered when they were still elflings and they would come on visits to the woods. They had only managed to cause more trouble then.

She is sleeping, the crying has worn her out. They both looked down ashamed but Haldir took a step back. Please come in I will be waking her shortly for dinner besides.

We also came to invite you to dinner, you and your daughter both. Haldir nodded and motioned for them to sit.

Thank you for your invitation. I shall have to ask if she wishes to accept.

We did not mean any harm. He looked to the twin that had spoken.

We thought it would be funny.

Meant to or not you have caused harm in your foolishness. Haldir's tone was harsher than he had intended it to be but he settled himself. She does not understand.

Atada has told us of. . of her circumstances.

We swear we did not wish to hurt her. Haldir was about to respond but was cut of by a loud scream from Zinnia's room. Without even looking to the others, he ran to her.

ADA! He pulled her into a hug and she practically clamped on to him.

I am here.

"I'm sorry. . I'll be good I swear, I swear don't leave. Don't leave me."

"I will not, I am here. I am here."

"I didn't mean . . I killed him I killed him. I told him I would protect him but I put him there to die. Don't hate me, please, I'll be better."

"Shhh, it was just a dream. You were dreaming aier none are dead."

"But. . b. . but Hiss. . we didn't save him. It's m my fault. . my fault."

"My sweet we did retrieve him. Remember we went to Arwen's room and pulled him from her bed before she got there." She shook her head and pushed against his shoulder another wail ripping from her.

"You said you couldn't live with a killer!" She pulled on him more tangling her hands around his hair in a painful grip. He winced slightly but his only reaction was to hold her closer. "Don't leave me." Her tone was desperate and frightened.

"A nightmare my little one. I love you and I will never leave you." She broke down in sobs again still clutching to him tightly and mumbling about how sorry she was between tears. He moved her so she was situated better on his lap and she screamed thinking he was trying to push away from her.

"Please! Please I tried to stop him, I tried but he kept hitting and hitting him. He was so big I tried. I didn't want him to die. I swear I swear please Ada don't hate me. Don't leave too. I'm sorry." Haldir frowned and pulled the hysterical child closer. She hadn't had the nightmare of her brother's death for a while now. He looked up seeing the twins at the doorway.

Leave, we will not be making it to dinner.

Haldir we. His own anger snapped at the twin.

You did not think! She had done nothing to you and look what you have done to her. You best thank the Valar that nothing did happen to that snake or she would be inconsolable. I hope you realize that you have broken her trust. Years of progress shattered because two immature elves wanted to trick their teacher and sister. Get out of my home. One was about to say something when the other grabbed his arm and shook his head before leading both of them out.

"Ada I'm sorry." Haldir's attention immediately went back to Zinnia at the frightened tone.

"You have been forgiven for what you have done today, and there is nothing else to forgive." He stood and she whimpered holding on to him. "Hush I will never leave you. I love you, you are safe and wanted." Walking out to the main room he sat in the chair and started rubbing her back and kept whispering reassurances to her. It had been months since she had been this upset over anything. When her tears slowed and her breathing became even again he pulled her back to meet her eyes. "Do you wish to tell me of your dream sweetling?"

"No." She sniffed and pressed her head against his shoulder. She moved closer and curled into him. He started stroking her hair and she sighed relaxing into him.

"It always helped you before." He felt her shake her head against him. "It was only a nightmare my Zia. There is no reason to be frightened of it now that you are awake." For a while none said anything. Haldir kept his soothing motions over her hair and she would occasionally shift slightly trying to move closer.

"You said you didn't want me." When she finally spoke her tone was almost whispered and her words accompanied by her hands fisting in his tunic.

"That is not true." He said softly.

"It. . it was just a dream?"

"Yes aier, only a dream."

"It was too real." He felt the shutter through her and wrapped his arms around her a little tighter before putting his cheek on her head.

"Sometimes dreams can be." She started playing with some of his hair and he smiled resituating both of them.

"Hiss died because I put him there and. . and Alar said I killed Hiss, just like I killed him."

"But Hiss is not dead, and you are not to blame for your brother's death." She looked up to him and he smiled at her softly pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Alar knows this and he would never blame you either." She sighed and closed her eyes leaning into his hand in a show of affection and trust. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before she moved and lay against him again.

"Ada I'm scared," she said after a while of just laying with him.

"Of what Zia?" She nuzzled his neck and wrapped her arms around him.

"I don't want you to leave me."

"I will never leave you permanently. I may have to spend time away from you, but you will always see me again."

"No. I want to be with you forever."

"Forever is longer than you imagine. One day you will wish to be rid of me."

"Never," she said shocked and tried to pull him closer though it was impossible. He smiled and put his cheek back against her head.

"Never is also a very long time."

"I love you Ada, I never want to leave you."

"I love you too aieramin." He peeled her back so they could look at each other. "But eventually your wants will change, as you grow." She shook her head.

"Then I don't want to grow." She looked at him with moist eyes her cheeks red and tear streaked.

"But you must." He smiled and wiped a few more of her tears away. "Know that I will always be here for you though. No matter the year, no matter your worries. We may part but eventually we will always be reunited." She sniffed and blinked at him still not understanding him. Still refusing to even think about ever leaving the one person in her life that always brought her safety. "That will come later. Now, are you hungry? It is nearing dinner and you have slept through lunch." She nodded. "Then there is enough time for you to wash before we eat."

"I took a bath yesterday," she said frowning.

"And you shall take one today."

"I didn't get dirty at all!"

"Oh?" He held up her hand and inspected it seeing the dirt under her fingernails. The only way the child on his lap ever remained clean was if she took a bath before going to bed. Even then it only lasted until she woke the next morning. She sighed and pulled her hand away.

"I am not dirty enough to have to take a bath." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him as if daring to refute the statement.

"Well then it leaves us with a choice. You can either take a bath before dinner and then after dinner we can go to the gazing platform and watch the stars." She smiled at him obviously excited. "Or you can not take a bath until after dinner. Of course by the time we are done with the dishes and going over the lesson Suvel gave you for the day, not to mention also taking your bath it will be too late to do such."

"Fine I will take a bath before dinner." She sighed. "The lesson is not that hard though. I have it done."

"You do?"

"Yes," she said proudly.

"Then we will go over it together after dinner."

"Why do I have to wash if I am just going to get dirty again? Wouldn't it be easier to just . . not?"

"You would smell as an orc!" He tickled her and she laughed trying to get away from his hands. He laughed and righted her when she almost fell off both him and the chair.

"But you would still love me." She had a half formed smile on her face but questioning in her eyes.

"Aye I would but my nose would not." She grinned at him and he set her down so she was standing. "Now off to the bath with you." She leaned up and hugged him before kissing him on the cheek.

"Will you braid my hair?"

"Yes, go and I will make dinner." She smiled and ran back to the bathroom. He went to the kitchen and started pulling out the necessary things to fix a simple dinner.

"I forgot my clothes." He heard her run back to her room and grinned. When she was done there she ran back to the bathroom. The door closed and then opened again before footsteps padded to him. "What are we having for dinner?" He sighed and looked down to the girl.

"I should not have let you sleep so long." She only grinned at him and bounced on her feet slightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'I'd rather be swimming.' Zinnia thought with a small frown as she continued to wash the tunic in her hands. She sighed and wiped her forehead before leaning back down. Doing his wash had been the chores Rúmil had wanted help with. Not that she minded all that much. The problem was normally at this time she would be able to practice archery, but she couldn't today. Or for two more weeks as the rest of her punishment was no training for that time period.

Instead Suvel had given her more work to complete. Secretly she didn't mind the extra work, the lack of training bothered her more but she wouldn't tell Haldir that. Finishing the shirt, she rung it out and threw it back in the basket before grabbing something else that needed to be clean. Seeing a pair of legs, she looked up with a grin expecting to see Rúmil but instead it was one of the twins. The grin left her face and she snatched another article of clothing angrily, starting to clean it.

We have come to apologize. The voice came from behind her and she figured it was the other one. She was slightly embarrassed they had seen her cry last night, just as she was embarrassed she cried in front of the others. That and that she had been so inexcusably stupid to believe the two. Haldir had always told her not to speak in anger for many things could be said that were not meant. It was the reason she was not talking now.

We did . . we did not mean to cause such harm. Her hands fisted into the shirt she was washing but still she ignored them.

Are you not going to speak with us?

It seems she is not brother. They walked around her. Perhaps you would like some help?

No, I do not wish for your help or your company. She reached over and grabbed the towel one of the twins had and put it back on the dirty pile.

It will go faster if you have help.

I do not care. This is my punishment, go find your own. The one still standing laughed and the anger in Zinnia boiled a little higher.

Let us help aier and then.

Do not call me that! She screamed causing them to quiet. You have no right to call me that. You have no right! She stood up and glared at the elves that were still at least three feet taller than her. Ada and my uncles, and my friends can call me that. You can not.

We are sorry that you got in trouble.

I do not care that I got in trouble. I care that I did something bad.

You did not do anything bad. It was just a joke.

A joke? I poured the water on my uncle, and. .well that did not really matter because well. . he's my uncle, but Hiss? Hiss matters. Hiss matters more than that. Why did you not tell me Arwen does not like snakes?

We did not because. .

Because you knew I would not do it then! I promised Hiss that I would protect him because he is my friend. Then. . then I put him in that bed and if Arwen had found him, he could have been hurt. That would have been my fault, not to mention telling me that it was allowable to enter her room.

But your friend did not get hurt. She looked to the one that had spoken and glared.

He could have. She crossed her arms over her chest. You think just because I am young that I do not understand. I do understand though. I understand lies and hurt and. . and pain. I understand all of that. I understand what it is to loose a loved one because you could not protect them, do you?

Yes, said one lowering his gaze.

I do not believe you. If you did you would never have. . have betrayed me like you did, you would not have put me in the position to have it happen again. You said you were my friends, you said that you wanted me to come visit your home, you. . you both lied. You almost made me loose my best friend . . and. . . . and if I would have lost Ada because I believed you I. . I. . She turned her back on them her tears starting to fall not being able to finish her thought.

We are truly sorry. Elrohir reached out to touch her shoulder. When he made contact she jumped from him and turned her eyes wide and startled.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed. She took a step back and fell on her butt with a small grunt.

"Are you injured child?" Concerned he moved forward to help her up but stopped when she cringed from his hand. He slowly pulled his hand away from her when he saw the fear in her eyes.

"We would never hurt you," said Elladan as his brother backed away from the girl.

"I believed you and you lied to me. How does that not hurt me? Liars always hurt, they always cause pain. Always! He always lied to me, always lied, lies!"

"We are sorry."

"We honestly meant no harm."

I no longer trust your words. Go away! I told you to leave, do so. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face between them. She didn't hear them leave but she figured they had as there were no foreign sounds in the clearing.

Zia I have found more soap… Rúmil trailed off as he entered the small clearing seeing her silently crying. She tried to wipe her eyes clear but there was no hiding the evidence of her tears.

I will need it. She moved back over and started washing the shirt she had abandoned. Hands closed over hers and she stopped.

What is wrong dear one?

Nothing.

Nothing does not bring tears to one's eyes. She slouched further, a few more tears falling. Do you wish me to retrieve Haldir? She shook her head not wanting to bother Haldir for something she felt was her fault. Then will you tell me?

I am mad, she answered.

At the twins?

Them and myself. I. . why did I believe them? She wiped her face with her hands again. I could have lost everything. Ada would hate me if I failed. He wrapped his arms around her and she moved wrapping hers around him.

I know for a fact that your Ada could never hate you. He loves you, you are his daughter. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. Do not let those two children shake your faith in that knowledge. He moved and kissed her temple. It is an unchangeable fact.

But I embarrassed him in front of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel for what I did, and also Lady Arwen and the others. I do not want him to be ashamed of me, for what I have done or have not done. Rúmil smiled slightly and pulled her back to look at her.

Dear you could run off and bond to an orc and he would not be ashamed of you.

I do not want to bond to an orc. She made a face and he smiled even more.

My meaning is that nothing you do or any action you may or may not have taken will ever shame your Ada. He is so proud of you. We all are.

Even when I do something bad? Even when I could have gotten Hiss hurt. . or. . or worse?

You did nothing malicious, misguided, but not intending harm on any. It was a mistake, all make mistakes.

Everyone?

Everyone. He smiled and moved them so they were sitting. We must learn from them so not to repeat them. That is the challenge with mistakes.

Then I learned not to trust anyone I do not know.

Ah, that could be one view, though perhaps the lesson is that you should trust.

I do not understand. Rúmil smiled at her.

I wonder, when they told you to pour water over Erestor what was your first thought?

That . . he might not like it.

But then the twins talked you into doing it any way. She nodded. Did you have the same doubts about placing Hiss in Arwen's room?

Yes, but they said that it was what she wanted. Who am I supposed to learn to trust?

You must learn to trust yourself.

Myself?

Yes, you had a doubt, which is usually an indicator that it would be wise to seek council on an action before it is taken.

I have to think on my actions, Ada has told me.

Not only think but also trust that you are making the correct decision regarding them.

What if I do that and still make the wrong one?

Then you must learn from it so you will not repeat it. That is how one gains wisdom, it is how you learn. She wiped her face again and nodded understanding. Now, let us finish these so you will not be late to lunch with Lady Arwen.

=========

Ada = Father

Baru = Brown (stuffed dear)

Atada = Grandfather

Aieramin = my little one