The Game of Life
By: Rogue Fox
Part Four... Against All The Odds
A/N: Just letting you know, this starts off in Himeko's flashback. Just so you won't get confused.
*+*+*Isis*+*+*
Morning came over the Nile, too early for my tastes. I had been up late last night trying to explain to Ammon that I had just gotten lost in the market place. I hadn't been kidnapped or murdered or anything like that. I didn't tell him, of course, about the mysterious white-haired boy I had met. I didn't tell him that I had gone with a mysterious boy to the peasant homes, that I had stayed with him for hours, run from the soldiers with him... I didn't dare. I knew he would be furious with me if I did. So I kept quiet about those details, and eventually, Ammon believed enough of my story to let me go to sleep.
I gazed out from the balcony in my room. The rising sun turned the Nile waters red like blood, the sky a delicate shade of pink, and the few clouds over head orange and gold. A soft, transparent curtain brushed against my cheek as the dry desert wind blew through my room. I tried to imagine what it was like to live in those faraway places I had heard about, where the rain fell in gentle showers all year long and half the year was spent in cold. I had been cold maybe three times in my entire life, and all those times I had been wet. And of course, there was always someone there to see to me and get me dry clothes. The boy I had met spoke of being from a faraway place. Perhaps he could tell me of such exotic places. I sighed. I couldn't get my mind off him. The sun had only just risen. It would be far too long before midnight, two days away. A knock on my door echoed through the room as one of the hand maids came to "assist" me. Actually, I did most of the actual dressing and primping, and the hand maids only gave me a hand in things that required an extra set, like straightening a head ornament and fastening gowns in the back. Other than that, they made themselves look busy by tidying up my quarters, which I was rarely in so they actually stayed quite clean. Pretty amazing, as Ammon told me, because I didn't exactly have a reputation as a neat person.
After dressing, I went and found Ammon. Not an easy task. He could be anywhere at anytime. Sometimes he had early morning meetings, he often had to attend religious ceremonies, greet ambassadors and so on. Ammon and I weren't particularly religious, especially after the death of our father. We lost all faith in the gods. But still, as the Royals of the greatest empire on the planet, we were expected to attend ceremonies. Still, despite his busy schedule, Ammon and I stayed very close. We tried to eat the morning meal together everyday. On that particular morning, I found him in the throne room, slouched in his throne, looking very serious and grave. Of course, he always looked serious, but this time it was more so than usual. He straightened up as I walked into the room.
" Oh. Good morning, Isis. I thought you were Nepano." He said, slouching back into his chair.
" Good morning, brother. How was your night?" I asked politely as servants wheeled the meal into the room. Ammon shrugged.
" Same as always. Restless. Too much to worry about." He said, standing and dismissing the servants. I sniffed at the food. It smelled good, and I was hungry.
" That can't be healthy for you." I told him.
" No healer has proved it isn't. In any case, I'm the Pharaoh, remember? I'm as close to a god as a mortal can be. I don't get sick." He told me, grinning.
" I know better. I'm your sister." I said reprimandingly. " I don't believe in all those silly legends. I know perfectly well that your as normal as any man off the streets."
" Speaking of the streets," Ammon started. Uh-oh, I thought, here it comes. " I want you to stay off of them for a while."
" Why?" I asked, instantly defensive.
" Because, there's a thief running around. I've got every soldier set to catch him. I've got to make sure he's caught soon, too. He's a tomb robber. Can't have people trying to defend their precious sacred places themselves. That's just asking for trouble." Ammon said. " You didn't happen to see a boy about our age with white hair while you were out there yesterday, did you?" he asked, taking a bite of food. He looked at me sharply. I guessed he had seen my face drain of all color as my heart leapt into my throat. " Are you all right?" he asked.
" I'm fine. The first sip was bitter." I lied, setting down the soup I had been drinking. I thanked the gods for a smooth tongue. " No, I didn't see anyone with white hair. That's a pretty obvious feature. I think I would have noticed if someone our age with white hair stopped me and asked for directions to the nearest tomb." I cracked. Ammon laughed.
" You can be pretty dense at times, but you've always had an eye for distinctive features." He said. I protested appropriately at the dense part, but my heart was still racing. My new friend, who seemed so wise and knowing, was a grave robber? I swallowed my food hurriedly and told Ammon I had an appointment I had to keep. He let me go willingly, after making me swear I'd stay off the streets. I obliged after making a few protests, just because he would have been suspicious if I hadn't.
The next two days could not have possibly passed slower. I felt like time was standing still just to mock me. I thought maybe the gods were making it go particularly slow just to make me go crazy. It wouldn't have surprised me. Even though I wasn't religious, I did have real proof they existed. They just weren't all powerful, like everyone thought. Finally, the third night arrived. I thought the anxiety would kill me. I was positive Ammon knew something was going on. And, being Ammon, he didn't keep his suspicions under wraps for long.
" I'm sorry!" I cried, knocking over my wine for the fourth time that night. The servant who had been handing the wine to me frowned, but wisely made no other show of displeasure. We were all seated at the dinner table, eating a nice meal together. If I hadn't been ready to jump out of my skin at the drop of a hat, I might have enjoyed it more.
" Isis," Ammon started, giving me that penetrating stare he used to get spies to talk. It had yet to fail him. " What's wrong with you?" he asked me from across the table. I gulped as Mariah, at Ammon's right, cocked an eyebrow and looked at me expectantly.
" Are you not feeling well?" Nuru asked. At his side, Eshe giggled.
" I think she's feeling fine. Better than fine." She said. I blushed to the roots of my hair in thirty different shades of red. Nen looked from Eshe to me repeatedly.
" Well? Are you going to share what you apparently know, Eshe?" Ammon asked. I gulped again. I did not like the way this conversation was going at all. Eshe grinned at me, flipping her hair and drawing out the suspense.
" Out with it, already!" Tenok cried, which promptly sent Eshe into a fit of giggles. I laughed nervously.
" N-nothing's wrong. Really. Why w-would you think anything's wrong? " I stuttered. I only stutter when I'm dealing with very strong emotions and everyone knew it. Ammon looked at me again, and I felt like his eyes were drilling into my own.
" You never stutter, you always talk more than this, you have usually gotten into a fight with Nuru by now, you're shaking like a desert bloom in a sandstorm, you've done what I say without a word of protest for two days now, you've been knocking things over like it would save your life, and to top it all off, you haven't spilled your wine since you were five years old." Ammon listed. I gulped again and stared at him.
" Honestly, am I that bad?" I asked him, not stuttering for the first time nearly the entire night.
" No, you're worse. I was just giving you the bright parts." Ammon responded good-naturedly, sipping from his own wine. Nuru and Tenok laughed, but Nen stared at me hard. Eshe finally recovered from her giggles.
" Oh, really. It's so obvious. Her symptoms are classic." She said in exasperation. If she hadn't been clear across the table and down a few seats, I might have taken my knife and slit her throat.
" Classic to what case?" Nen asked, taking his eyes off me for the first time since the conversation had started. I breathed a sigh of relief. Nen was the only one who could make me talk as well as Ammon.
" It's obvious. Isis is in love." Eshe said calmly. Every set of eyes turned to me. I could have melted into a puddle on the floor and not felt more pathetic. My face felt like it was on fire.
" No! I-it's nothing l-like that!" I cried, my stutter coming back with a vengeance.
" Oh, it's not?" Eshe asked me. I glared at her.
" It's n-not!" I confirmed.
" Well, your denial only proves it." Eshe announced, leaning back in her chair and looking like a satisfied kitten. I leaped to my feet.
" I'm n-not in l-love!" I cried. Ammon chuckled. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, and marveled that something so trivial could upset me so badly. Mariah smiled up at me reassuringly. Mariah was always able to calm me down.
" It's alright, Isis. If you just tell us who the lucky man is, you'll feel much better." She said. I nearly hit the ground.
" H-how many t-times do I have t-to say it?! I'm not in l-love!" I cried. Only Nen had remained silent. I felt so guilty when I looked into his eyes. There was such hurt there, such pain. I felt like I had made the ultimate betrayal to him. " I'm not." I said, mostly to him. The hurt in his eyes didn't go away. Ammon knew I was lying. They all did. But what hurt me most was that Nen knew. He stood abruptly and walked from the room. Nuru stood to follow him, but Tenok pulled him back. I stared after Nen, trying to figure out the hurt I had seen in him, trying to figure out the terrible guilty knowledge that I had caused that hurt, and trying to figure out why I knew that.
They wouldn't leave me alone. I was swarmed. As midnight drew near, I still had Mariah and Eshe dogging me to tell them who I was in love with. I kept insisting that I wasn't in love, even though I doubted my words myself. I forced myself to forget about Nen. I had been waiting for this night, and nothing was going to dull its wonder for me. I shoved Mariah and Eshe out my door, practically screaming at them to let me get some sleep. They giggled and left. I sighed, then, suddenly nervous again, flashed a glance at the moon. I felt like a fool, but I went about primping anyway, flipping my hair in the mirror and trying to get my crimson and black bangs to do something other than just lay there. Don't ask me what I was expecting. I wasn't quite myself that night. Just before the midnight, I left my chambers and slipped down the hallway. Making every effort to be silent, which was not easy considering I was, as Ammon said, shaking like a desert bloom in a sandstorm. After nearly knocking over about twenty pots, I found myself at that back door where he had left me the last time. Suddenly too nervous to do anything else, I just stood there like an idiot. What if he wasn't there? What if I had endured all that for nothing? I shook my head to clear it and reached to open the door. Now was not the time to be a coward.
I pushed the door open and leaned out. I turned my head slowly in both directions, trying to get a full view of the area around me. Disappointment made it hard to breathe when I couldn't see him.
" Hello? Are you there?" I called quietly, still hopeful. I sighed when no one answered. Just as I was about to leave when I saw a flash of white and a big grin. The very person I had been looking for popped up in my face. I swallowed a scream of surprise and fell backwards.
" Hello." He said conversationally, leaning over me. I glared up at him.
" You nearly scared me to death!" I accused. My friend grinned, and tossed his white hair out his face.
" That would be a shame, to scare someone as pretty as you to death." He said, still grinning at me. I continued to glare at him, despite being thoroughly flattered by his praise. He offered me his hand, and I took and allowed him to pull me up. " How have you been?" he asked me, still holding my hand. His hands were rough and callused, but they were warm and comforting. His dark eyes searched mine.
" A nervous wreck." I answered.
" Not on my account, I hope?" he said, smiling again, flashing his teeth against his pale skin.
" Yes, on your account." I told him. " My brother knows I didn't tell him everything." I added.
" Let him know. He's no more of a god than me, so he can't be all powerful. What's more, he has no proof." He said, pulling me into the darkness of the night.
" Where are you taking me?" I asked.
" A nice spot by the big river." He answered. Not for the first time, I was struck by how little I knew about him. Guilt rose up in my heart, and I pictured Nen's eyes. I swallowed it, and looked at my companion's profile. His physique was not one I recognized, and his faint accent was unrecognizable as well. I wouldn't be identifying his ethnicity by his looks and voice alone.
" What have you been doing all this time?" I asked conversationally.
" It's only been three days." He said, giving me a questioning look.
" I... um, well, it seemed like a lot longer to me." I muttered, turning my reddening face downward to the ground. He turned fully, standing in my way. I gulped nervously and looked up into those bottomless brown eyes. He didn't say anything, instead turning and starting off again. I hurried after him, fearful that I might lose him in the night, fearful that I might lose him at all.
Half an hour later found us laughing together on the banks of the Nile, the moon our only light. I felt so calm and safe with him, like I could trust him. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't forget that he was a tomb robber.
" I can't believe you." I said, gazing at him in disbelief. " You actually did that?"
" I did. I wish you had been there. It was hilarious. The look on their faces when I started imitating the voice of that cow god of theirs! It was priceless!" he told me, breaking up into laughter again. I followed his lead. He had been telling me of his exploits in faraway places, exotic places with odd customs. " They really thought their god was speaking to them!" he cried, wiping tears from his eyes.
" What'd you tell them?" I asked.
" Oh, I think it was something about everyone had to go jump in some muddy river to show tribute. Yes, that was it. You should have seen it! They all came back, muddy and wet and stinking, saying that they had done my bidding. What a riot! I thought I was going to die, trying not to laugh." He said. I grinned at him and leaned on his shoulder, then noticed him staring at me.
" What?" I asked.
" I was just noticing that in all the places I've ever been, all the things I've ever seen, and all the things I've ever done, I've never met anyone like you. You're something new and intriguing." He said, smiling widely. I blushed and looked skyward, searching for a chance to change the subject.
" Moon's pretty tonight." I noted, looking up at the pretty crescent, a tiny sliver of the moon.
" A sign of good things to come?" my companion asked, wrapping his well- muscled arms around me. I felt so warm and safe.
" I hope so." I agreed, sighing.
" Why do you keep beating at the bush?" he asked suddenly. I looked up at him, thoroughly confused.
" What?" I asked.
" Why do you keep hinting at this? I like you, all right? I like you a lot. I think you like me, but you never seem to give me a straight answer." He said, looking at me seriously. I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn in a blush, and I looked away from his intense eyes.
" I-I like you." I said, cursing my tendency to stutter. I raised my gaze to meet his, determined not to look away this time. He leaned a little closer to me. I breathed in his scent as he brought his face close to mine, holding me close with his strong arms. His lips found mine, grazing them gently, then harder, more firm. I felt like melting for the second that night, except this time, it was from sheer pleasure. When I pulled my head back from his, he smiled and held me tight to his chest.
" I think I'm moving too fast." He muttered. I shook my head into his chest.
" No." I said, for lack of anything better to say. " No." I repeated, feeling stupid. I felt better when he kissed the top of my head.
" I think I'm falling in love with a Princess. It had to be a Princess." He said, shaking his head. I reached up and touched his white hair.
" Could be worse. You could be in love with one of those women who worship cows." I cracked, making him chuckle. I nestled into the warmth of his arms against his chest, noting how sleepy I was and the position of the moon. I fell into the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat near my ear. " Tepemkau..." I muttered sleepily.
" Huh?" he asked, looking down at me.
" You told me to give you a name. I name you Tepemkau. It means, 'the best of souls.'" I said, halfway asleep. I felt his smile as he pressed another kiss to the top of my head.
" Thank you." He said.
Month later...
" Have you told your brother yet?" Tepemkau asked me. I sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist and letting my eyes drift up to the blue sky. It was one of the first times we had dared venture out together in the day. I knew it was risky, but my passion pretty much drowned out all common sense.
" No. I don't know if I can, Tepe." I said, using my special nickname for him.
" Isis, he's your brother. He deserves to know." Tepe said, giving me a stern look. I gave a frustrated sigh.
" I know, believe me, I know. But... He'll be so angry with me. He might have you killed." I said.
" We both know I can get away from his soldiers without a problem. If it comes to that, well, we do have the back-up plan." Tepe said.
" Yeah, but that's the back-up plan for a reason." I protested. Tepe grinned and kissed me suddenly.
" Let's stop talking about this. It's no fun." He said. I grinned at him, kissing him back passionately. I didn't care that we were in the middle of a crowded street. All I cared about was Tepe, there with me, his arms around me, his pale cheeks under my hands. I broke the kiss and let him hug me, looking at the world over his shoulder. That's when I saw him. My eyes shot wide, and Tepe felt my body go stiff as a board.
" What?" He asked, turning and following my gaze. " Who is that man?" he asked, suspicion and jealousy instantly tainting his voice.
" Nen..." I muttered, stepping away from Tepe guiltily. But the accusing look in Nen's eyes told me it was far too late. I ran from Tepe to Nen, tears beginning in my eyes.
" Isis..." he said, his voice trailing off. His eyes held anger, sadness, and betrayal.
" Nen, please, let me explain!" I begged, as Tepe jogged up behind me. Nen's eyes flashed dangerously as he regarded Tepe. I choked back a sob. Nen, always sweet, generous, kind, and caring, my friend from farther back than I could remember, was too angry with me to even speak.
" I really don't think you need to. I think I know everything I need to." He said. A few tears escaped my eyes as I reached to grab Nen's hand. He jerked it from me, like my touch would poison him.
" Nen, please-" I started, but he interrupted me.
" No. Isis, I... Forget it. Don't stay out too long." He said, walking away.
" Please..." I pleaded, even though he was already out of earshot. Tepe hugged me, even though he couldn't know why I was so upset if even I didn't, and wiped my tears away tenderly.
" So what were you saying about the back-up plan?" he asked. I frowned, and ignored his question.
" Ammon will know before nightfall. You'd better get out of here. Go someplace else." I said. Tepe laughed and I shot him a glare. " I'm serious, Tepe! I'm really serious." I said, my voice softening as those eyes of his met mine. They flashed angrily.
" Get out of here? And what? Just leave you to face the music? I can't do that and live with myself." He growled. Tepe was stronger than me, but he rarely got angry. He had his moody moments, and did get very violent once he was angry, but I was never the object of his anger. I grabbed both of his hands in mine.
" Tepe, I may have just lost Nen. I won't lose you too." I said, planting my feet in front of him.
" Come with me." Tepe requested suddenly. We had talked about it before. We called it the back-up plan. If Ammon reacted angrily toward Tepe, he would leave Egypt. And I would go with him. Before, the idea had excited me. Seeing new places, meeting new people, being able to be with Tepe, it all sounded so wonderful. Now, my stomach knotted up and I looked up into Tepe's eyes.
" I don't know if I can, Tepe." I whispered, so quietly he had to wrap his arms around my waist and lean down to hear. " I have a duty here. I don't think I can just run off and leave Ammon and Mariah and Nuru and... even Nen. As much as you know I love you, I love them too. They need me." I told him. I felt his lips press against my neck.
" I need you. I need you to breathe. When you're not with me, my chest hurts. It's hard to breathe. I really don't think I can live without you." Tepe whispered. I cried a little.
" I need to get back to the palace. Ammon will want to scream with me." I said, forcing a small smile. Tepe seemed to take courage from that smile, despite the fact I had deliberately chosen not to respond to what he had said about needing me to breathe. Because, I realized as he took my hand and started leading me back to the palace, I needed him to breathe as well.
Later, I sighed, glancing out at the falling sun. Ammon had placed me under lock and key in my room until his advisors let him away long enough to speak to me. No one was allowed to see me. Not a soul. I had been in my chambers for a few hours when Ammon came into the room. He didn't come in like a desert windstorm, roaring and yelling, like I had expected. His arrival was actually very quiet. But it might as well have been a dull roar in the thick silence of the room. Ammon and I can have an entire argument and not say a word. And yet, when he looked at me, I found myself unable to look in his eyes.
" Nen told me he saw you in the market place with a boy. I wouldn't care, normally." Ammon started. I gave him a reproachful look, and he actually smiled. " All right, I wouldn't care too much. But... Isis, Nen told me he was the tomb robber I told you about a few moon cycles ago. The one I specifically told you to watch out for." He said. I sighed.
" Tepemkau never told me he was as tomb robber." I protested.
" But he never told you he wasn't, did he?" Ammon accused. I stayed silent. " Isis, you can try to fool me until you're blue in the face, but we both know the truth. You knew who he was. You knew. But you still betrayed me. And what's worse, you betrayed..." Ammon said, clamping his mouth shut before he said too much.
" Betrayed who, besides you? Who, Ammon?" I asked, suddenly angry. I don't know why I was so angry. I just felt upset. Now Ammon looked away from my gaze.
" You know, Isis. I can see it in your eyes. You're just waiting for someone to say it out loud." Ammon said.
" I have no idea what you're talking about." I declared. Ammon stared at me closely, searching my face.
" You really don't." he realized, sighing. " At least, that's what you've managed to convince yourself." Again he sighed. " How long have you been seeing him?" he asked. I was amazed at how calm he was being. I felt the urge to lie to him, but dismissed it.
" Since just before you told me about him. A few moon cycles." I answered honestly. Ammon didn't question me.
" What in the world possessed you?" he asked.
" I..." I began, then gathered my courage. " I love him, Ammon. He loved me. I had to see him again. And then after that, I needed to see him more than ever. I can't live without him."
" Isis, you know I can't let him live. The people... They love their stupid sacred places. They might revolt if I allow him to go unharmed. I have to do something." Ammon said. I leaped to my feet.
" Can't you make your stupid example out of someone else?!" I asked, the prospect of losing Tepe nearly panicking me.
" You know I can't. I'm sorry." Ammon said. " If it were up to me, I'd leave you both alone. I really would. But this is one of those things where my hands a tied. Warn him, if you want. If he can get out of Egypt, then your beloved will live. But make sure he understands that if my soldiers catch him, regardless of how much you feel for him, I will have him publicly executed." I turned away from Ammon. I hadn't cried in front of anyone since my father died. I felt his arms slip around my waist, and I turned into his chest and let him hug me. We must have looked silly, since I was the taller, but it made me feel better to know that my brother loved me. " I'm sorry. I really am." Ammon whispered.
" I know." I whispered back, pulling out of his grip and smiling at him. " Let me go with him one more time. Once more, then he'll be gone. I promise." I pleaded. Ammon looked pained, torn between his sister's heartfelt plea and his duty to the title his father had burdened him with.
" You have tonight, Isis. Tonight only. Tomorrow my soldier will be hunting for him. Get him out of here, Isis." He said finally. " And if you go with him, promise me you'll come back someday. I... I'd hate myself forever if I drove you away." I smiled at Ammon again.
" You're my brother, Ammon. You're the only one I can truly trust." I said, hugging him one more time.
That night, I lay beside Tepe, his strong arms around me. I had snuck from the palace and into the cramped streets Tepe knew as home. Without questions he had accepted me into his arms and after about an hour or two of discussing and telling him what Ammon had told me, he took me into his bed. The night wore away, and as Tepe slept peacefully, I lay wakeful, feeling every minute slip like sand through my fingers acutely. Lightly, I traced the lines of muscle on his back with my finger, half hoping he would wake up and take me into his arms again. Silently, I thanked Ammon for allowing me this last night. Tepe groaned and rolled over, smiling widely upon seeing me. I returned his grin faintly.
" How long have you been awake?" he asked me quietly.
" I never went to sleep. I didn't want to miss a minute." I whispered back.
" How long till morning?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me. Already I missed him.
" Too soon." I groaned, upset at even the thought.
" Come with me. I'll take you to places you've only dreamed of." He pleaded. I didn't respond. I didn't trust my voice. For another hour I lay with Tepe, listening to him whisper all his dreams and how I fit into them. " I'll build a good life for you. Better than this." He promised. I knew that they were only words he whispered. They were empty.
" Better than this?" I asked, gesturing around us. " Better than this?" I repeated, kissing him passionately.
" I'll build an empire worthy of you. All for you. Just for Isis." He continued. I only smiled. After that, we dressed, Tepe gathered his few belongings in a bag, and I walked with him to the gates of the city Ammon ruled from. We stood together for a long moment, staring at the rising sun. We kissed repeatedly, but I still missed him already.
" I love you." I whispered. I decided he had figured out my intentions by now.
" Please, come with me." He pleaded again. I shook my head.
" I can't. My place is here." I explained, smiling at him despite my tears and shaky breathing.
" I understand." Tepe whispered back, kissing me again. " We made it this far against the odds. I swear I'll come back for you, someday. No matter what. Nothing can keep me away." He promised. A rooster sounded its cry a few streets away.
" I'll be waiting." I promised. " You'd better go." I said, pushing him away from me. He kissed my cheek and my lips one last time, and I savored his taste. I stood there watching him long after sunrise, staring at the spot I had last seen him, crying. I missed him so much, and I had barely been apart from him.
" I'll be waiting." I whispered to myself, touching my lips, then turning away. I saw Nen leaning against a wall nearby, watching me. The sadness in his eyes was clear. And I knew then. I couldn't wait for Tepe. He was never coming back.
Three days later, Ammon showed me Tepe's body. He looked thin and mangled. In a strange way, I barely recognized him. I cried hysterically when I saw him, covered in his own dried blood. A slave troop had found him in the desert, the jackals already working at his freshly dead corpse. It was determined that he had died of deprivation of water. It took months for me to accept his death. I still felt like he was out there somewhere, dreaming of building his empire for me and coming back for me. Time dwindled on. I came into the power the gods granted Ammon and I. Nen and the others were killed. I went to avenge them. And then history happened. But I never forgot Tepemkau.
By: Rogue Fox
Part Four... Against All The Odds
A/N: Just letting you know, this starts off in Himeko's flashback. Just so you won't get confused.
*+*+*Isis*+*+*
Morning came over the Nile, too early for my tastes. I had been up late last night trying to explain to Ammon that I had just gotten lost in the market place. I hadn't been kidnapped or murdered or anything like that. I didn't tell him, of course, about the mysterious white-haired boy I had met. I didn't tell him that I had gone with a mysterious boy to the peasant homes, that I had stayed with him for hours, run from the soldiers with him... I didn't dare. I knew he would be furious with me if I did. So I kept quiet about those details, and eventually, Ammon believed enough of my story to let me go to sleep.
I gazed out from the balcony in my room. The rising sun turned the Nile waters red like blood, the sky a delicate shade of pink, and the few clouds over head orange and gold. A soft, transparent curtain brushed against my cheek as the dry desert wind blew through my room. I tried to imagine what it was like to live in those faraway places I had heard about, where the rain fell in gentle showers all year long and half the year was spent in cold. I had been cold maybe three times in my entire life, and all those times I had been wet. And of course, there was always someone there to see to me and get me dry clothes. The boy I had met spoke of being from a faraway place. Perhaps he could tell me of such exotic places. I sighed. I couldn't get my mind off him. The sun had only just risen. It would be far too long before midnight, two days away. A knock on my door echoed through the room as one of the hand maids came to "assist" me. Actually, I did most of the actual dressing and primping, and the hand maids only gave me a hand in things that required an extra set, like straightening a head ornament and fastening gowns in the back. Other than that, they made themselves look busy by tidying up my quarters, which I was rarely in so they actually stayed quite clean. Pretty amazing, as Ammon told me, because I didn't exactly have a reputation as a neat person.
After dressing, I went and found Ammon. Not an easy task. He could be anywhere at anytime. Sometimes he had early morning meetings, he often had to attend religious ceremonies, greet ambassadors and so on. Ammon and I weren't particularly religious, especially after the death of our father. We lost all faith in the gods. But still, as the Royals of the greatest empire on the planet, we were expected to attend ceremonies. Still, despite his busy schedule, Ammon and I stayed very close. We tried to eat the morning meal together everyday. On that particular morning, I found him in the throne room, slouched in his throne, looking very serious and grave. Of course, he always looked serious, but this time it was more so than usual. He straightened up as I walked into the room.
" Oh. Good morning, Isis. I thought you were Nepano." He said, slouching back into his chair.
" Good morning, brother. How was your night?" I asked politely as servants wheeled the meal into the room. Ammon shrugged.
" Same as always. Restless. Too much to worry about." He said, standing and dismissing the servants. I sniffed at the food. It smelled good, and I was hungry.
" That can't be healthy for you." I told him.
" No healer has proved it isn't. In any case, I'm the Pharaoh, remember? I'm as close to a god as a mortal can be. I don't get sick." He told me, grinning.
" I know better. I'm your sister." I said reprimandingly. " I don't believe in all those silly legends. I know perfectly well that your as normal as any man off the streets."
" Speaking of the streets," Ammon started. Uh-oh, I thought, here it comes. " I want you to stay off of them for a while."
" Why?" I asked, instantly defensive.
" Because, there's a thief running around. I've got every soldier set to catch him. I've got to make sure he's caught soon, too. He's a tomb robber. Can't have people trying to defend their precious sacred places themselves. That's just asking for trouble." Ammon said. " You didn't happen to see a boy about our age with white hair while you were out there yesterday, did you?" he asked, taking a bite of food. He looked at me sharply. I guessed he had seen my face drain of all color as my heart leapt into my throat. " Are you all right?" he asked.
" I'm fine. The first sip was bitter." I lied, setting down the soup I had been drinking. I thanked the gods for a smooth tongue. " No, I didn't see anyone with white hair. That's a pretty obvious feature. I think I would have noticed if someone our age with white hair stopped me and asked for directions to the nearest tomb." I cracked. Ammon laughed.
" You can be pretty dense at times, but you've always had an eye for distinctive features." He said. I protested appropriately at the dense part, but my heart was still racing. My new friend, who seemed so wise and knowing, was a grave robber? I swallowed my food hurriedly and told Ammon I had an appointment I had to keep. He let me go willingly, after making me swear I'd stay off the streets. I obliged after making a few protests, just because he would have been suspicious if I hadn't.
The next two days could not have possibly passed slower. I felt like time was standing still just to mock me. I thought maybe the gods were making it go particularly slow just to make me go crazy. It wouldn't have surprised me. Even though I wasn't religious, I did have real proof they existed. They just weren't all powerful, like everyone thought. Finally, the third night arrived. I thought the anxiety would kill me. I was positive Ammon knew something was going on. And, being Ammon, he didn't keep his suspicions under wraps for long.
" I'm sorry!" I cried, knocking over my wine for the fourth time that night. The servant who had been handing the wine to me frowned, but wisely made no other show of displeasure. We were all seated at the dinner table, eating a nice meal together. If I hadn't been ready to jump out of my skin at the drop of a hat, I might have enjoyed it more.
" Isis," Ammon started, giving me that penetrating stare he used to get spies to talk. It had yet to fail him. " What's wrong with you?" he asked me from across the table. I gulped as Mariah, at Ammon's right, cocked an eyebrow and looked at me expectantly.
" Are you not feeling well?" Nuru asked. At his side, Eshe giggled.
" I think she's feeling fine. Better than fine." She said. I blushed to the roots of my hair in thirty different shades of red. Nen looked from Eshe to me repeatedly.
" Well? Are you going to share what you apparently know, Eshe?" Ammon asked. I gulped again. I did not like the way this conversation was going at all. Eshe grinned at me, flipping her hair and drawing out the suspense.
" Out with it, already!" Tenok cried, which promptly sent Eshe into a fit of giggles. I laughed nervously.
" N-nothing's wrong. Really. Why w-would you think anything's wrong? " I stuttered. I only stutter when I'm dealing with very strong emotions and everyone knew it. Ammon looked at me again, and I felt like his eyes were drilling into my own.
" You never stutter, you always talk more than this, you have usually gotten into a fight with Nuru by now, you're shaking like a desert bloom in a sandstorm, you've done what I say without a word of protest for two days now, you've been knocking things over like it would save your life, and to top it all off, you haven't spilled your wine since you were five years old." Ammon listed. I gulped again and stared at him.
" Honestly, am I that bad?" I asked him, not stuttering for the first time nearly the entire night.
" No, you're worse. I was just giving you the bright parts." Ammon responded good-naturedly, sipping from his own wine. Nuru and Tenok laughed, but Nen stared at me hard. Eshe finally recovered from her giggles.
" Oh, really. It's so obvious. Her symptoms are classic." She said in exasperation. If she hadn't been clear across the table and down a few seats, I might have taken my knife and slit her throat.
" Classic to what case?" Nen asked, taking his eyes off me for the first time since the conversation had started. I breathed a sigh of relief. Nen was the only one who could make me talk as well as Ammon.
" It's obvious. Isis is in love." Eshe said calmly. Every set of eyes turned to me. I could have melted into a puddle on the floor and not felt more pathetic. My face felt like it was on fire.
" No! I-it's nothing l-like that!" I cried, my stutter coming back with a vengeance.
" Oh, it's not?" Eshe asked me. I glared at her.
" It's n-not!" I confirmed.
" Well, your denial only proves it." Eshe announced, leaning back in her chair and looking like a satisfied kitten. I leaped to my feet.
" I'm n-not in l-love!" I cried. Ammon chuckled. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, and marveled that something so trivial could upset me so badly. Mariah smiled up at me reassuringly. Mariah was always able to calm me down.
" It's alright, Isis. If you just tell us who the lucky man is, you'll feel much better." She said. I nearly hit the ground.
" H-how many t-times do I have t-to say it?! I'm not in l-love!" I cried. Only Nen had remained silent. I felt so guilty when I looked into his eyes. There was such hurt there, such pain. I felt like I had made the ultimate betrayal to him. " I'm not." I said, mostly to him. The hurt in his eyes didn't go away. Ammon knew I was lying. They all did. But what hurt me most was that Nen knew. He stood abruptly and walked from the room. Nuru stood to follow him, but Tenok pulled him back. I stared after Nen, trying to figure out the hurt I had seen in him, trying to figure out the terrible guilty knowledge that I had caused that hurt, and trying to figure out why I knew that.
They wouldn't leave me alone. I was swarmed. As midnight drew near, I still had Mariah and Eshe dogging me to tell them who I was in love with. I kept insisting that I wasn't in love, even though I doubted my words myself. I forced myself to forget about Nen. I had been waiting for this night, and nothing was going to dull its wonder for me. I shoved Mariah and Eshe out my door, practically screaming at them to let me get some sleep. They giggled and left. I sighed, then, suddenly nervous again, flashed a glance at the moon. I felt like a fool, but I went about primping anyway, flipping my hair in the mirror and trying to get my crimson and black bangs to do something other than just lay there. Don't ask me what I was expecting. I wasn't quite myself that night. Just before the midnight, I left my chambers and slipped down the hallway. Making every effort to be silent, which was not easy considering I was, as Ammon said, shaking like a desert bloom in a sandstorm. After nearly knocking over about twenty pots, I found myself at that back door where he had left me the last time. Suddenly too nervous to do anything else, I just stood there like an idiot. What if he wasn't there? What if I had endured all that for nothing? I shook my head to clear it and reached to open the door. Now was not the time to be a coward.
I pushed the door open and leaned out. I turned my head slowly in both directions, trying to get a full view of the area around me. Disappointment made it hard to breathe when I couldn't see him.
" Hello? Are you there?" I called quietly, still hopeful. I sighed when no one answered. Just as I was about to leave when I saw a flash of white and a big grin. The very person I had been looking for popped up in my face. I swallowed a scream of surprise and fell backwards.
" Hello." He said conversationally, leaning over me. I glared up at him.
" You nearly scared me to death!" I accused. My friend grinned, and tossed his white hair out his face.
" That would be a shame, to scare someone as pretty as you to death." He said, still grinning at me. I continued to glare at him, despite being thoroughly flattered by his praise. He offered me his hand, and I took and allowed him to pull me up. " How have you been?" he asked me, still holding my hand. His hands were rough and callused, but they were warm and comforting. His dark eyes searched mine.
" A nervous wreck." I answered.
" Not on my account, I hope?" he said, smiling again, flashing his teeth against his pale skin.
" Yes, on your account." I told him. " My brother knows I didn't tell him everything." I added.
" Let him know. He's no more of a god than me, so he can't be all powerful. What's more, he has no proof." He said, pulling me into the darkness of the night.
" Where are you taking me?" I asked.
" A nice spot by the big river." He answered. Not for the first time, I was struck by how little I knew about him. Guilt rose up in my heart, and I pictured Nen's eyes. I swallowed it, and looked at my companion's profile. His physique was not one I recognized, and his faint accent was unrecognizable as well. I wouldn't be identifying his ethnicity by his looks and voice alone.
" What have you been doing all this time?" I asked conversationally.
" It's only been three days." He said, giving me a questioning look.
" I... um, well, it seemed like a lot longer to me." I muttered, turning my reddening face downward to the ground. He turned fully, standing in my way. I gulped nervously and looked up into those bottomless brown eyes. He didn't say anything, instead turning and starting off again. I hurried after him, fearful that I might lose him in the night, fearful that I might lose him at all.
Half an hour later found us laughing together on the banks of the Nile, the moon our only light. I felt so calm and safe with him, like I could trust him. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't forget that he was a tomb robber.
" I can't believe you." I said, gazing at him in disbelief. " You actually did that?"
" I did. I wish you had been there. It was hilarious. The look on their faces when I started imitating the voice of that cow god of theirs! It was priceless!" he told me, breaking up into laughter again. I followed his lead. He had been telling me of his exploits in faraway places, exotic places with odd customs. " They really thought their god was speaking to them!" he cried, wiping tears from his eyes.
" What'd you tell them?" I asked.
" Oh, I think it was something about everyone had to go jump in some muddy river to show tribute. Yes, that was it. You should have seen it! They all came back, muddy and wet and stinking, saying that they had done my bidding. What a riot! I thought I was going to die, trying not to laugh." He said. I grinned at him and leaned on his shoulder, then noticed him staring at me.
" What?" I asked.
" I was just noticing that in all the places I've ever been, all the things I've ever seen, and all the things I've ever done, I've never met anyone like you. You're something new and intriguing." He said, smiling widely. I blushed and looked skyward, searching for a chance to change the subject.
" Moon's pretty tonight." I noted, looking up at the pretty crescent, a tiny sliver of the moon.
" A sign of good things to come?" my companion asked, wrapping his well- muscled arms around me. I felt so warm and safe.
" I hope so." I agreed, sighing.
" Why do you keep beating at the bush?" he asked suddenly. I looked up at him, thoroughly confused.
" What?" I asked.
" Why do you keep hinting at this? I like you, all right? I like you a lot. I think you like me, but you never seem to give me a straight answer." He said, looking at me seriously. I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn in a blush, and I looked away from his intense eyes.
" I-I like you." I said, cursing my tendency to stutter. I raised my gaze to meet his, determined not to look away this time. He leaned a little closer to me. I breathed in his scent as he brought his face close to mine, holding me close with his strong arms. His lips found mine, grazing them gently, then harder, more firm. I felt like melting for the second that night, except this time, it was from sheer pleasure. When I pulled my head back from his, he smiled and held me tight to his chest.
" I think I'm moving too fast." He muttered. I shook my head into his chest.
" No." I said, for lack of anything better to say. " No." I repeated, feeling stupid. I felt better when he kissed the top of my head.
" I think I'm falling in love with a Princess. It had to be a Princess." He said, shaking his head. I reached up and touched his white hair.
" Could be worse. You could be in love with one of those women who worship cows." I cracked, making him chuckle. I nestled into the warmth of his arms against his chest, noting how sleepy I was and the position of the moon. I fell into the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat near my ear. " Tepemkau..." I muttered sleepily.
" Huh?" he asked, looking down at me.
" You told me to give you a name. I name you Tepemkau. It means, 'the best of souls.'" I said, halfway asleep. I felt his smile as he pressed another kiss to the top of my head.
" Thank you." He said.
Month later...
" Have you told your brother yet?" Tepemkau asked me. I sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist and letting my eyes drift up to the blue sky. It was one of the first times we had dared venture out together in the day. I knew it was risky, but my passion pretty much drowned out all common sense.
" No. I don't know if I can, Tepe." I said, using my special nickname for him.
" Isis, he's your brother. He deserves to know." Tepe said, giving me a stern look. I gave a frustrated sigh.
" I know, believe me, I know. But... He'll be so angry with me. He might have you killed." I said.
" We both know I can get away from his soldiers without a problem. If it comes to that, well, we do have the back-up plan." Tepe said.
" Yeah, but that's the back-up plan for a reason." I protested. Tepe grinned and kissed me suddenly.
" Let's stop talking about this. It's no fun." He said. I grinned at him, kissing him back passionately. I didn't care that we were in the middle of a crowded street. All I cared about was Tepe, there with me, his arms around me, his pale cheeks under my hands. I broke the kiss and let him hug me, looking at the world over his shoulder. That's when I saw him. My eyes shot wide, and Tepe felt my body go stiff as a board.
" What?" He asked, turning and following my gaze. " Who is that man?" he asked, suspicion and jealousy instantly tainting his voice.
" Nen..." I muttered, stepping away from Tepe guiltily. But the accusing look in Nen's eyes told me it was far too late. I ran from Tepe to Nen, tears beginning in my eyes.
" Isis..." he said, his voice trailing off. His eyes held anger, sadness, and betrayal.
" Nen, please, let me explain!" I begged, as Tepe jogged up behind me. Nen's eyes flashed dangerously as he regarded Tepe. I choked back a sob. Nen, always sweet, generous, kind, and caring, my friend from farther back than I could remember, was too angry with me to even speak.
" I really don't think you need to. I think I know everything I need to." He said. A few tears escaped my eyes as I reached to grab Nen's hand. He jerked it from me, like my touch would poison him.
" Nen, please-" I started, but he interrupted me.
" No. Isis, I... Forget it. Don't stay out too long." He said, walking away.
" Please..." I pleaded, even though he was already out of earshot. Tepe hugged me, even though he couldn't know why I was so upset if even I didn't, and wiped my tears away tenderly.
" So what were you saying about the back-up plan?" he asked. I frowned, and ignored his question.
" Ammon will know before nightfall. You'd better get out of here. Go someplace else." I said. Tepe laughed and I shot him a glare. " I'm serious, Tepe! I'm really serious." I said, my voice softening as those eyes of his met mine. They flashed angrily.
" Get out of here? And what? Just leave you to face the music? I can't do that and live with myself." He growled. Tepe was stronger than me, but he rarely got angry. He had his moody moments, and did get very violent once he was angry, but I was never the object of his anger. I grabbed both of his hands in mine.
" Tepe, I may have just lost Nen. I won't lose you too." I said, planting my feet in front of him.
" Come with me." Tepe requested suddenly. We had talked about it before. We called it the back-up plan. If Ammon reacted angrily toward Tepe, he would leave Egypt. And I would go with him. Before, the idea had excited me. Seeing new places, meeting new people, being able to be with Tepe, it all sounded so wonderful. Now, my stomach knotted up and I looked up into Tepe's eyes.
" I don't know if I can, Tepe." I whispered, so quietly he had to wrap his arms around my waist and lean down to hear. " I have a duty here. I don't think I can just run off and leave Ammon and Mariah and Nuru and... even Nen. As much as you know I love you, I love them too. They need me." I told him. I felt his lips press against my neck.
" I need you. I need you to breathe. When you're not with me, my chest hurts. It's hard to breathe. I really don't think I can live without you." Tepe whispered. I cried a little.
" I need to get back to the palace. Ammon will want to scream with me." I said, forcing a small smile. Tepe seemed to take courage from that smile, despite the fact I had deliberately chosen not to respond to what he had said about needing me to breathe. Because, I realized as he took my hand and started leading me back to the palace, I needed him to breathe as well.
Later, I sighed, glancing out at the falling sun. Ammon had placed me under lock and key in my room until his advisors let him away long enough to speak to me. No one was allowed to see me. Not a soul. I had been in my chambers for a few hours when Ammon came into the room. He didn't come in like a desert windstorm, roaring and yelling, like I had expected. His arrival was actually very quiet. But it might as well have been a dull roar in the thick silence of the room. Ammon and I can have an entire argument and not say a word. And yet, when he looked at me, I found myself unable to look in his eyes.
" Nen told me he saw you in the market place with a boy. I wouldn't care, normally." Ammon started. I gave him a reproachful look, and he actually smiled. " All right, I wouldn't care too much. But... Isis, Nen told me he was the tomb robber I told you about a few moon cycles ago. The one I specifically told you to watch out for." He said. I sighed.
" Tepemkau never told me he was as tomb robber." I protested.
" But he never told you he wasn't, did he?" Ammon accused. I stayed silent. " Isis, you can try to fool me until you're blue in the face, but we both know the truth. You knew who he was. You knew. But you still betrayed me. And what's worse, you betrayed..." Ammon said, clamping his mouth shut before he said too much.
" Betrayed who, besides you? Who, Ammon?" I asked, suddenly angry. I don't know why I was so angry. I just felt upset. Now Ammon looked away from my gaze.
" You know, Isis. I can see it in your eyes. You're just waiting for someone to say it out loud." Ammon said.
" I have no idea what you're talking about." I declared. Ammon stared at me closely, searching my face.
" You really don't." he realized, sighing. " At least, that's what you've managed to convince yourself." Again he sighed. " How long have you been seeing him?" he asked. I was amazed at how calm he was being. I felt the urge to lie to him, but dismissed it.
" Since just before you told me about him. A few moon cycles." I answered honestly. Ammon didn't question me.
" What in the world possessed you?" he asked.
" I..." I began, then gathered my courage. " I love him, Ammon. He loved me. I had to see him again. And then after that, I needed to see him more than ever. I can't live without him."
" Isis, you know I can't let him live. The people... They love their stupid sacred places. They might revolt if I allow him to go unharmed. I have to do something." Ammon said. I leaped to my feet.
" Can't you make your stupid example out of someone else?!" I asked, the prospect of losing Tepe nearly panicking me.
" You know I can't. I'm sorry." Ammon said. " If it were up to me, I'd leave you both alone. I really would. But this is one of those things where my hands a tied. Warn him, if you want. If he can get out of Egypt, then your beloved will live. But make sure he understands that if my soldiers catch him, regardless of how much you feel for him, I will have him publicly executed." I turned away from Ammon. I hadn't cried in front of anyone since my father died. I felt his arms slip around my waist, and I turned into his chest and let him hug me. We must have looked silly, since I was the taller, but it made me feel better to know that my brother loved me. " I'm sorry. I really am." Ammon whispered.
" I know." I whispered back, pulling out of his grip and smiling at him. " Let me go with him one more time. Once more, then he'll be gone. I promise." I pleaded. Ammon looked pained, torn between his sister's heartfelt plea and his duty to the title his father had burdened him with.
" You have tonight, Isis. Tonight only. Tomorrow my soldier will be hunting for him. Get him out of here, Isis." He said finally. " And if you go with him, promise me you'll come back someday. I... I'd hate myself forever if I drove you away." I smiled at Ammon again.
" You're my brother, Ammon. You're the only one I can truly trust." I said, hugging him one more time.
That night, I lay beside Tepe, his strong arms around me. I had snuck from the palace and into the cramped streets Tepe knew as home. Without questions he had accepted me into his arms and after about an hour or two of discussing and telling him what Ammon had told me, he took me into his bed. The night wore away, and as Tepe slept peacefully, I lay wakeful, feeling every minute slip like sand through my fingers acutely. Lightly, I traced the lines of muscle on his back with my finger, half hoping he would wake up and take me into his arms again. Silently, I thanked Ammon for allowing me this last night. Tepe groaned and rolled over, smiling widely upon seeing me. I returned his grin faintly.
" How long have you been awake?" he asked me quietly.
" I never went to sleep. I didn't want to miss a minute." I whispered back.
" How long till morning?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me. Already I missed him.
" Too soon." I groaned, upset at even the thought.
" Come with me. I'll take you to places you've only dreamed of." He pleaded. I didn't respond. I didn't trust my voice. For another hour I lay with Tepe, listening to him whisper all his dreams and how I fit into them. " I'll build a good life for you. Better than this." He promised. I knew that they were only words he whispered. They were empty.
" Better than this?" I asked, gesturing around us. " Better than this?" I repeated, kissing him passionately.
" I'll build an empire worthy of you. All for you. Just for Isis." He continued. I only smiled. After that, we dressed, Tepe gathered his few belongings in a bag, and I walked with him to the gates of the city Ammon ruled from. We stood together for a long moment, staring at the rising sun. We kissed repeatedly, but I still missed him already.
" I love you." I whispered. I decided he had figured out my intentions by now.
" Please, come with me." He pleaded again. I shook my head.
" I can't. My place is here." I explained, smiling at him despite my tears and shaky breathing.
" I understand." Tepe whispered back, kissing me again. " We made it this far against the odds. I swear I'll come back for you, someday. No matter what. Nothing can keep me away." He promised. A rooster sounded its cry a few streets away.
" I'll be waiting." I promised. " You'd better go." I said, pushing him away from me. He kissed my cheek and my lips one last time, and I savored his taste. I stood there watching him long after sunrise, staring at the spot I had last seen him, crying. I missed him so much, and I had barely been apart from him.
" I'll be waiting." I whispered to myself, touching my lips, then turning away. I saw Nen leaning against a wall nearby, watching me. The sadness in his eyes was clear. And I knew then. I couldn't wait for Tepe. He was never coming back.
Three days later, Ammon showed me Tepe's body. He looked thin and mangled. In a strange way, I barely recognized him. I cried hysterically when I saw him, covered in his own dried blood. A slave troop had found him in the desert, the jackals already working at his freshly dead corpse. It was determined that he had died of deprivation of water. It took months for me to accept his death. I still felt like he was out there somewhere, dreaming of building his empire for me and coming back for me. Time dwindled on. I came into the power the gods granted Ammon and I. Nen and the others were killed. I went to avenge them. And then history happened. But I never forgot Tepemkau.