The Game of Life
By: Rogue Fox
Part Six... Daughter of Dark, Mother of Light
*+*+*Yami*+*+*
" Anzu, if you feel like your going to barf, let us know." Yugi said soothingly, rubbing poor Anzu's back. She leaned heavily on Jou, who held a wet paper towel to her fevered forehead. Beside me in the passenger seat, Mai kept turning around and looking at Anzu worriedly.
" Please do. I don't want your lunch all over my car." I said, trying to lighten the mood. Anzu flashed me a weak smile, but Yugi gave me a stern look. Jou forced a chuckle, and Mai gave me a punch on the shoulder. " I am driving here." I reminder her.
" Show some compassion!" she told me in response.
" Some what?" I asked, grinning at her for as long as I dared to take my eyes off the road. We finally pulled up to Anzu's place. Yugi had already taken the liberty of calling Anzu's mother, and the older woman was waiting on the doorstep. Yugi climbed out the car and helped Anzu walk out.
" I'm going to stay here for a little while. I'll call you in a few hours." He told me. I gave him a lazy salute and drove off to drop Mai and Jou at Mai's place, where Jou's own car was waiting. After I had done that, I turned completely around and headed for home, hoping that Isis had found a safe ride home. I pulled into the driveway, put the car into park, and let it run for a second. I could feel dread welling up in my throat. Fear from my soul was demanding my attention. I gulped. Isis was in trouble.
I've known Isis since long before I have any conscious memory of her. She's always been there. I've always known her touch. I knew her feel and voice before I knew my own mother's. Her soul was as familiar as my own. We took our first steps hand in hand, both of us helping the other keep their balance. Our first word was said in unison. We both said "Father" at the same time. Our first sentence was one that I started, and Isis finished. When she was sick, I was sick. When she was sad, I made her smile. When she was scared, I protected her. Even when we were far apart, we dreamed the same dreams, we said the same things. As much as I did for her, it was nothing that she didn't return in due time. She was always standing behind me to push me up when I stumbled, to bandage my wounds, and to give me a shoulder to lean on when I couldn't stand on my own. She stood beside me when I created Yugi, and gave to him all the light left in me. I stood beside her when she gave Yuki the same. When she became the daughter of dark, I became the son of the night.
I felt her fear as distinctly as I could feel my own. I couldn't feel a soul connection. But in the back of my mind, the need to protect her was as primal and undeniable as the need to breathe. I switched the car off and pocketed the keys, and sprinted into the house. Grandpa smiled at me when I walked in the door, but his smile faded when he saw the wild, crazed look in my eyes.
" Has Isis called?" I asked.
" No. I assumed she had gotten a ride all right." He said, standing. I lunged for the phone and dialed the number of the guy who had thrown the party.
" Hello?" a voice sounded on the other end of the line. I tolerated phones. They did make me nervous, though. You can't see who you're talking to. There's something unsettling about that to me.
" Is this Makoto?" I asked.
" Yeah, it's me. Is that you, Yami?" Makoto asked.
" Yeah. Listen, is my sister there?" I asked, glancing at the clock. It was fifteen till midnight.
" No. She left fifteen minutes ago. Kazuo was giving her a hard time." Makoto answered, the jolly tone of his voice disappearing when he sensed my distress.
" Who did she ride with?" I asked.
" No one. She walked." Makoto said.
" Damn her!" I cried. Makoto stayed silent. " If you hear from her, let me know. Immediately." I told him, hanging up before he could respond. I started to dial Kaiba's number.
" Where is she?" Grandpa asked me.
" Stupid girl decided to walk home." I answered tersely.
" What's wrong, Yami?" Grandpa asked me softly.
" Something. She's in trouble. Big trouble." I said, swallowing the urge to scream and cry. Finally, Kaiba picked up.
" Kaiba residence. This is the family number, and we're in the middle of a game, so this had better be good." Kaiba said, sounding very annoyed.
" I don't give a damn right now, Kaiba." I said. " Isis is missing. She's in trouble."
" Crap." Kaiba said, then paused to yell to Yuki what I had told him. While he was yelling, every spiritual sense that felt Isis suddenly went blank.
" Oh..." I muttered, letting my voice slip into Egyptian while I muttered a lot of curses I was glad that Grandpa couldn't understand. " Isis, where are you?" I asked, remembering to speak in Japanese.
*+*+*Yami Bakura*+*+*
I watched Isis step out of the house that had held the party she had been attending. She was so graceful and beautiful, just like all those nights we had spent roaming the banks of the Nile together. She was like the world's most perfect cat, stalking through her natural element, the night. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked back at the house she had come from, suddenly seeming doubtful. I saw doubt flicker across those eyes of hers. She let her gaze drift skyward to study the moon out of habit, then started down the street. I stood from my position sitting behind a nearby bush and followed her silently.
Since the day I had encountered her at the Kaiba mansion, I had been following her nonstop. I hadn't even bothered hunting down my pathetic light side. I slept outside her house, content to know that she was near. At least, I was content for the moment. I knew all too well how greedy I could get about Isis. It had started like that. I was just content to be near her. Then, little by little, I needed her more and more until any separation was unbearable. All the time I had been kept apart from her had buried all those emotions, until I had forgotten what they were like. Now, they all came rushing into my throat until I thought I would choke, and I wondered how I could ever forget anything so powerful. No wonder I had wanted to die after I had left her. I still wondered, though, how she could have seen my dead body if I knew for a fact that I was still very much alive. I decided not to think too much about that.
Isis turned onto a dark, grimy street that I didn't like very much. I saw a group of men moving around in the darkness. I tried to move in close to her and warn her away, but fear drove me back. I remembered the hollow look in her eyes when I had touched her, the pain, the want, and the anguish of a woman who had already promised herself to another and couldn't forget the man she had promised herself to. I berated myself angrily as the group of eight men surrounded her. She reeled from one and straight into the arms of another. She made a brave attempt to give herself enough room to evoke her formidable attack power, but they hit her on the back of her head. Now I was angry. I jumped into the light and went in swinging. I don't know what I was thinking. I was much smaller than the smallest in their group. Unfortunately for me, that realization didn't hit until I was already in their midst and they were glaring at me. Still, despite my growing tension, I took my place standing over Isis's fallen body and glared back.
Have I ever mentioned I love the powers I was granted? I really do. I could remember, as I systematically wiped all their memories clean and knocked them unconscious without laying a hand on them, the night I had returned to Egypt. Isis had taught me nearly a year before how to navigate through the palace, and I made my way to her chambers. I can still remember the silly grin that lit up my face as I thought about surprising her as she was settling into bed. When I had gotten to her chambers, I found the door open. Dismay settled upon me as I heard voices talking inside. Isis's voice, soft and pleading, and the voice of a man. At first, I thought I would just wait outside until the man left, but I couldn't control my curiosity. I peeked my head, jealousy rearing its ugly head as well. I saw Isis, still as beautiful as I remembered her, and the young man she called Nen. I saw her reach to embrace him. Saw him bend down and graze her lips with his. Anger, jealousy, and hurt raged inside me, and I ran. I ran out into the streets, ran blindly until I found myself in the abandoned home I had lived in those wonderful months when Isis had been mine. That night, I pleaded for someone to make my life worth living again. And Anubis, the Egyptian god, appeared before me. He told me I had an important part to play in a drama that had only begun to unfold. He gave me my power, my talent to erase memories. Two days later, I attended the public funeral of the Pharaoh, his sister, his adviser, and all his friends. I was among the many openly sobbing. But I sobbed for a love I wondered if I had ever had. I scanned Isis and her brother and the adviser, and even though I was still unused to my new abilities, I already knew they had left catalysts behind. Knowing that the legend of the Millennium Items was coming true, I added my own part in. That night, I hastily made a catalyst and ended my own life. When Ryou woke me up, I knew that if I gathered the Millennium Items as my own, I had a chance of building that empire I had promised Isis, and maybe winning her back.
I blinked as the last man fell. I looked down at Isis. All those years ago, I had loved her more than I could possibly comprehend. Now, even after a millennia of thinking about how she had broken my heart and her promise, I still loved her as much as I ever did, if not more. With a sigh, I knelt down and scooped her up into my arms.
*+*+*Himeko*+*+*
I awoke with a start, sitting up in a bed. Was it a nightmare, I wondered. I looked around myself and recognized the room I was in as Ryou's bedroom.
" What am I doing here?" I wondered out loud. A sudden pain in the back of my head made me reach back there and feel out a tender bump developing. " Ow." I muttered to myself. I paused and stayed still as the sound of feet coming up the stairs that led to Ryou's room. I knew about the layout of Ryou's house because I had spent a fair amount of time here with the group because Ryou's father was rarely home, so it was the perfect place to do what we wanted when Seto wouldn't let us in the mansion. I gulped. I didn't know who to expect, but what I could remember about before I had been knocked out wasn't exactly comforting. Much to my shock, it was Tepemkau who opened the door and stuck his head.
" Oh, you're awake." He said.
" What am I doing here?" I asked. Tepe looked around himself, as if to refresh his memory.
" Um, I couldn't think of any place else to bring you. This was the only safe place I could think of." He said, shrugging.
" You could have taken me home." I said sternly. Tepe actually looked a little sheepish.
" I was worried that your brother would try to blast my head off." He explained.
" You're a yami. You can defend yourself." I protested.
" He's stronger than me, and I'll be the first to admit it." Tepe corrected me. " The two of us have proven it time and time again."
" How did you know?" I asked. Amazingly, he didn't need me to clarify what I meant.
" I've been following you around. I followed you to that party, followed you home, and then when those brutes knocked you out, I gave them a taste of good ol' Egyptian power." Tepe explained, still sheepish. I didn't know what to think about him following me around. Was he a stalker or what? " Where's my light side?" Tepe asked, glancing around the room as if he expected to find Ryou there.
" He was worried that you'd... um, well..." I struggled to find the right thing to say. I had meant to say "beat him," but it occurred to me in mid- sentence that saying that might not be the greatest idea ever to strike anyone.
" Hit him? Beat him up? Punish him?" Tepe suggested, smiling grimly. " I guess he told you about all that, huh? I haven't been the best yami in the world."
" That's one way of putting it." I agreed. I rubbed the back of my head tenderly.
" Let me take a look at that." Tepe volunteered. I obligingly turned and let him inspect the large bump developing there.
" You need to stop that." I told him.
" Stop what? Making sure you don't have a concussion?" Tepe asked incredulously.
" No. Stop hurting Ryou. And call him by his name every now and then. And being nice certainly wouldn't hurt any." I told him.
" Easy for you to say. You came out of your prison without any memories, right?" Tepe asked, and continued after I nodded. " You didn't remember any of your pain. It's a lot easier to make friends when you aren't trying to figure out how to mend a shattered heart."
" That doesn't give you the right to take it out on Ryou. What'd he ever do to you?" I asked. Tepe sighed and leaned his head on my shoulder. A part of me relished in his nearness, but another part of me kept thinking of Nen and felt nervous.
" Maybe not. I was so angry at you, but you weren't there. He was. So I took it all out on him. Maybe it wasn't right, but it did make me feel better." Tepe said.
" Well, I am here now. No more hurting Ryou. The poor boy's been living in fear since you showed up." I said.
" I'll never be buddy-buddy with him, if that's what you want." Tepe told me haughtily, stiffening. " You and your brother may love your light sides, but I don't. He was there, he was my catalyst. That's the only connection."
" Well, Ryou has the right to live in his own home." I reminded him.
" No one ever made him leave." Tepe protested.
" So what? He should have just stayed here and waited for the next time you had a tantrum so he could be your punching bag?" I asked.
" Well, when you say it like that..." Tepe conceded.
" What happened to you? You never used to want to hurt a thing." I asked, turning my head to stare at him. Those bottomless brown eyes stared back without blinking.
" I could ask you the same question, for a different reason." He said. " Anyway, I don't think it's very serious."
" What?" I asked. How could beating up on Ryou for no reason not be serious, I wondered.
" Your head. I don't think that bump is serious." Tepe said patiently. " There's a phone downstairs. You might want to call your brother before he has a heart attack. Knowing him, he'll think that little bump is worth a trip to the hospital. Then he'll want to murder me for laying a finger on you."
" Oh, right. I'll go call him." I said, standing up. I must have stood too fast, though, because I was suddenly overcome by nausea and vertigo. I swayed dangerously, a small moan escaping my lips. Tepe's strong arms were around me almost too quickly for me to know what was happening. The next thing I knew, I was leaning heavily against his chest, biting back my nausea as he stroked my hair.
" I'd forgotten how warm you are." Tepe murmured into my hair as he laid his head on top of mine. I snuggled a little closer to him, and wrapped my own arms around his middle. " How could I forget?" Tepe asked himself distantly. How could I forget, I echoed him distantly in my head, wondering how I could have ever forgotten how good it felt when he held me. Guilt suddenly rose in my chest as I saw Nen's eyes. I pulled out of Tepe's grip.
" Ammon will be worried." I said, clearing my throat. Tepe watched me without any discretion.
" I can see the pain in your eyes. Does my touch hurt that much?" he asked.
" I just can't forget him." I whispered.
" You gave all your innocence to Yuki, didn't you?" Tepe asked, sighing sadly.
" I didn't think I needed it anymore. I gave her all my light." I muttered.
" The story of our kind." Tepe said, shrugging. " Go call your brother." He added.
*+*+*Yami Bakura*+*+*
" Are you ever gonna get your lazy butt off the couch?" Ryou asked me, throwing a dish towel at my face.
" Nope." I responded easily, throwing the towel back.
" You need to." Ryou yelled as he walked into the kitchen. I let my hand fall off the couch, lifted it up, flipped him off, and resumed my position. " I saw that." Ryou called.
" Good." I growled.
" You should show some appreciation. Goodness knows I sure didn't have to let you come back here, and Yami sure didn't have to let you live." Ryou lectured me. " You're lucky Yuki took pity on you, and Yami and Kaiba have such a soft spot for her."
" Are you done preaching to me? Don't you have the common sense to leave a depressed guy alone?" I asked him, rolling over in the couch toward the kitchen to amplify my voice.
" Do I have 'therapist' written on my forehead?" Ryou asked me. " I really don't care if you are depressed. Get over it already. After all, you know what they say; it's better to have loved and lost-"
" Than never to have loved at all." I finished for him. " Yuki has used that one on me so many times, I feel like I could vomit every time I hear it. And you sure are a whiny brat." I told him.
" I'm enjoying your peacefulness, thank you." Ryou told me. He had never spoken to me so recklessly. I think he was really just testing my limits. How far could he push me, since Isis had made me swear not to hurt him without a good, legitimate reason. The Pharaoh had permission to beat me up if I beat Ryou up without a good reason. I figured Ryou would go back to his polite self once he decided I really wasn't going to kill him in his sleep. Although the notion was very tempting.
" If I didn't swear to Isis I wouldn't beat you anymore, I would break your nose." I threatened.
" I love you, Himeko!" Ryou cried joyfully. I growled.
" I think I could justify that as a legitimate reason to kill you." I said, yanking myself off the couch and onto my feet. Ryou's eyes went wide and he dashed for the kitchen door. I laughed and seated myself on the couch again, reaching for the remote. I was sick of watching the infomercial on.
" Ha ha ha. That was hilarious." Ryou called, with absolutely no conviction. I think I had gotten the message through to him that there was a limit. " Do you think you could at least get dressed?" he asked. I could just hear the grimace in his voice.
" I'm dressed!" I protested.
" You're wearing a pair of jeans. That's it." Ryou said, unimpressed.
" What are you, my father?" I asked.
" If that gets you off your butt, then yes." Ryou answered, leaning over the couch and flipping the dish towel in his hands at my face repeatedly. That lasted about five seconds before I shoved him away and climbed to my feet.
" Fine, I'll put on a shirt!" I cried. " I think I liked it better when you refused to say a word to me!" I told him angrily.
" I liked it better when you were in the Shadow Realm!" Ryou shot back. I picked up a shirt off the staircase and wadded it up, hurling in the same general direction as Ryou's head. I missed purposely, but it was close enough to make him duck.
" Why did I have to give you a smart mouth? Why couldn't I make you mute?" I asked myself, casting my gaze toward the ceiling.
" You're not that smart!" Ryou told me, a stupid grin on his face. I turned at the top of the stairs and glared at him. I chuckled to myself when he turned abruptly and returned to whatever it was he was doing in the kitchen. I turned again and tromped into the room I had taken over. It was originally the guest room, but then I came along. In Ryou's words, it was a pit. My newly acquired wardrobe was pretty much strewn over the floor, and the bed was a tangled mess of sheets and blanket. I sighed and picked a shirt up off the floor, shook it out, and pulled it over my head. Ryou hated it. He said I was a total slob. I, of course, told him he was a neat freak. I still had trouble figuring out how someone so different from me could be my catalyst. A catalyst is supposed to be made in the image of his creator, for crying out loud! Isis's catalyst, Yuki, shared Isis's determination and love of family. Even the Pharaoh had something in common with his catalyst. What did I have? Someone who shared my general appearance, and that was about it. In a funny way, I was jealous of them. They had such good relationships with their catalysts. One big happy family. I had trouble sitting at the same table as my catalyst. I had ruined any chance of a normal relationship with him. He would always regard me with suspicion and fear, no matter what I did.
I flashed a look at the mirror. My wild white hair fell just below my shoulders and my dark brown eyes glared back at me. I saw the same eyes in Ryou. It's a weird thing, looking at your catalyst. Sometimes, I would think that this must be what it feels like for a father to look into the eyes of his son. They were my eyes. I knew them. But the look in them wasn't mine. And the face that encased them was softer than mine. I sighed. Ryou hated me. I was used to that. But suddenly, his acceptance was critical. If no one else in the world accepted me, I needed to know he did. Maybe Isis's rejection was making me sentimental.
" Hey! Are you going to eat or what?!" Ryou called up.
" Why not?" I wondered out loud, stomping down the stairs.
Two days later, on a Wednesday afternoon, I found myself following Ryou home from school.
" That has to be the single most terrible torture I have ever been forced to endure." I said loudly. Ryou looked at me over his shoulder.
" What are you talking about? That was a pretty good day." He said. I stared at him, all other thoughts and complaints forgotten.
" If that was a good day, I'm scared to see the bad days." I muttered. " Exactly why are we forced to go to that torture on a daily basis?" I asked, jogging to catch up. I was tired. I had been forced to get up at an ungodly hour to attend that stupid place and listen to a bunch of people, who looked more exhausted than I felt and about as old as the Millennium Ring and my soul, lecture on and on about stuff I couldn't even comprehend.
" Because, according to the government, we need to be educated to succeed in life." Ryou recited.
" I am educated. I know how to break into most tombs, I can tell you fifteen different ways to pick a person's pocket, and I can pick any lock you put in front of me. That's just the basics. Would you like me to go into detail?" I asked, glad that for the first time that day I didn't feel like an idiot.
" No. And that has never been considered a good education and I don't think it ever will." Ryou said.
" I don't see why. It certainly works for me." I said.
" They want us to grow up and be doctors and lawyers and teachers-" Ryou explained.
" Teacher? What person in his right mind would want to do that? I just had to watch teachers all day long and it was not a pleasurable experience. I hate to think of it from the teacher's point of view." I interrupted. Ryou grinned.
" For once, I agree with you. But they say we need teachers so we can make more doctors and lawyers and more teachers. It's a cycle." He said.
" Who's they, anyway? You keep saying 'they.'" I asked.
" 'They' are the government. They want us to have a good education to maybe we'll work for them, too." Ryou said. " It's kind of funny. They say that it'll be better for us, but if you look at it just right, you see that it eventually benefits them too."
" Your age is screwed up." I said decisively.
" I agree. Wow, that's twice in a row that I've agreed with you! Wanna try for three?" Ryou asked teasingly. I looked around.
" Ice cream sounds nice." I answered, pointing.
" This could be the beginning of something good." Ryou decided.
" What? Ice cream?" I asked, fishing in my uniform pocket for some money. I wasn't coming up with very much. " Come on, I know I have more than that." I muttered.
" Never mind." Ryou said, stepping up to the ice cream vender. Before I could protest, he had paid for mine as well as his own. He shoved it into my face and walked off. I had to run to catch up to him.
" So tell me what you know about Himeko." Ryou said after a moment of silence and ice cream eating.
" Depends on what you want to know." I answered.
" Her favorite food?" Ryou asked.
" I can't pronounce it anymore. Some Egyptian delicacy." I admitted.
" Okay. Her favorite color?"
" That's easy. Black. And dark blue."
" Um, nervous habits?"
" She stutters and gets really clumsy."
" Favorite time of the day?"
" Midnight." I answered, then turned toward Ryou and inspected him. " Why do you want to know?" I asked him.
" Well, actually, Yami asked me to ask all those questions." Ryou admitted. " But don't tell him I told you that."
" Why?" I asked, stopping and giving Ryou my best glare.
" Cut that out! All you have to do is say please!" Ryou protested, stepping out of my arms reach. Another reminder of the fact that he would never trust me fully.
" Please." I obliged.
" Fine. He's trying to test you and make sure you're not going to try to hurt Himeko or Yuki." Ryou confided.
" Why would I hurt Yuki? She's never done anything but help me." I wondered out loud.
" Yeah, but she's really close to Himeko and Yami. It'd be real easy to hurt her to get revenge on them. Same with Yugi." Ryou explained. I was thoroughly insulted.
" But they never did a thing to me! Sure, I wouldn't mine getting their Millennium Items, but I wouldn't hurt them if they didn't do a thing to me! Why would he think I would?!" I protested. Ryou gave me a meaningful look. " Oh. That's why." I said, suddenly sheepish. " I'm starting to think that's going to haunt me forever." Ryou didn't answer. Instead he started down the street again.
" Why are Yami and Yugi so close?" he asked after a moment. So it had been bothering him too. Maybe we were more alike than I had thought.
" The same reasons Yuki and Isis are so close. Without the Pharaoh and Isis, Yugi and Yuki wouldn't exist. That's cause for closeness. But then, Ammon and Isis can't exist without Yugi and Yuki. The co-dependence helps a lot. And to top it all off, Yuki and Yugi created the bodies the other two live in now with their own flesh, blood, and pain. I think it makes them feel like they're really family." I explained. " You want to ask why we aren't like them, since we have all the same things, right?" I asked. Ryou nodded mutely. I don't think he trusted his voice. " That would be my fault, I think." I answered myself. I didn't want to ask him if he would always hate me. I was afraid of the answer. Ryou didn't volunteer one, either.
" Why do you love Himeko so much, even after she hurt you?" Ryou asked.
" I wish I knew. A part of my hates her, and another loves her more than ever." I answered honestly. I blinked suddenly. " Why am I telling you this?" I asked. Ryou shrugged.
" Maybe we're both getting better." He said. " And I don't think it's all your fault. I think I'm to blame, too." He added. I didn't tell him that his confession made me feel so much better, and that it was exactly what I needed to hear right then.
" Isis is a funny thing. She gave all her light, all her innocence and childhood to Yuki. Even the Pharaoh retained some of that. She's the child of darkness, the mother of pure light. Maybe that's why I still... feel that way about her." I said, suddenly afraid to say the word "love."
" You know what? We've been walking for an hour, and we're farther from home than when we started." Ryou said suddenly, stopping. I looked around.
" I'm not even going to ask how you can tell." I said.
" Well, see that street sign over there?" Ryou started, pointing to a sign. I covered my ears and ran off.
" I said I wasn't going to ask so you wouldn't explain!" I cried.
" Hey, wait! You're going the wrong way!" Ryou shouted, chasing after me.
By: Rogue Fox
Part Six... Daughter of Dark, Mother of Light
*+*+*Yami*+*+*
" Anzu, if you feel like your going to barf, let us know." Yugi said soothingly, rubbing poor Anzu's back. She leaned heavily on Jou, who held a wet paper towel to her fevered forehead. Beside me in the passenger seat, Mai kept turning around and looking at Anzu worriedly.
" Please do. I don't want your lunch all over my car." I said, trying to lighten the mood. Anzu flashed me a weak smile, but Yugi gave me a stern look. Jou forced a chuckle, and Mai gave me a punch on the shoulder. " I am driving here." I reminder her.
" Show some compassion!" she told me in response.
" Some what?" I asked, grinning at her for as long as I dared to take my eyes off the road. We finally pulled up to Anzu's place. Yugi had already taken the liberty of calling Anzu's mother, and the older woman was waiting on the doorstep. Yugi climbed out the car and helped Anzu walk out.
" I'm going to stay here for a little while. I'll call you in a few hours." He told me. I gave him a lazy salute and drove off to drop Mai and Jou at Mai's place, where Jou's own car was waiting. After I had done that, I turned completely around and headed for home, hoping that Isis had found a safe ride home. I pulled into the driveway, put the car into park, and let it run for a second. I could feel dread welling up in my throat. Fear from my soul was demanding my attention. I gulped. Isis was in trouble.
I've known Isis since long before I have any conscious memory of her. She's always been there. I've always known her touch. I knew her feel and voice before I knew my own mother's. Her soul was as familiar as my own. We took our first steps hand in hand, both of us helping the other keep their balance. Our first word was said in unison. We both said "Father" at the same time. Our first sentence was one that I started, and Isis finished. When she was sick, I was sick. When she was sad, I made her smile. When she was scared, I protected her. Even when we were far apart, we dreamed the same dreams, we said the same things. As much as I did for her, it was nothing that she didn't return in due time. She was always standing behind me to push me up when I stumbled, to bandage my wounds, and to give me a shoulder to lean on when I couldn't stand on my own. She stood beside me when I created Yugi, and gave to him all the light left in me. I stood beside her when she gave Yuki the same. When she became the daughter of dark, I became the son of the night.
I felt her fear as distinctly as I could feel my own. I couldn't feel a soul connection. But in the back of my mind, the need to protect her was as primal and undeniable as the need to breathe. I switched the car off and pocketed the keys, and sprinted into the house. Grandpa smiled at me when I walked in the door, but his smile faded when he saw the wild, crazed look in my eyes.
" Has Isis called?" I asked.
" No. I assumed she had gotten a ride all right." He said, standing. I lunged for the phone and dialed the number of the guy who had thrown the party.
" Hello?" a voice sounded on the other end of the line. I tolerated phones. They did make me nervous, though. You can't see who you're talking to. There's something unsettling about that to me.
" Is this Makoto?" I asked.
" Yeah, it's me. Is that you, Yami?" Makoto asked.
" Yeah. Listen, is my sister there?" I asked, glancing at the clock. It was fifteen till midnight.
" No. She left fifteen minutes ago. Kazuo was giving her a hard time." Makoto answered, the jolly tone of his voice disappearing when he sensed my distress.
" Who did she ride with?" I asked.
" No one. She walked." Makoto said.
" Damn her!" I cried. Makoto stayed silent. " If you hear from her, let me know. Immediately." I told him, hanging up before he could respond. I started to dial Kaiba's number.
" Where is she?" Grandpa asked me.
" Stupid girl decided to walk home." I answered tersely.
" What's wrong, Yami?" Grandpa asked me softly.
" Something. She's in trouble. Big trouble." I said, swallowing the urge to scream and cry. Finally, Kaiba picked up.
" Kaiba residence. This is the family number, and we're in the middle of a game, so this had better be good." Kaiba said, sounding very annoyed.
" I don't give a damn right now, Kaiba." I said. " Isis is missing. She's in trouble."
" Crap." Kaiba said, then paused to yell to Yuki what I had told him. While he was yelling, every spiritual sense that felt Isis suddenly went blank.
" Oh..." I muttered, letting my voice slip into Egyptian while I muttered a lot of curses I was glad that Grandpa couldn't understand. " Isis, where are you?" I asked, remembering to speak in Japanese.
*+*+*Yami Bakura*+*+*
I watched Isis step out of the house that had held the party she had been attending. She was so graceful and beautiful, just like all those nights we had spent roaming the banks of the Nile together. She was like the world's most perfect cat, stalking through her natural element, the night. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked back at the house she had come from, suddenly seeming doubtful. I saw doubt flicker across those eyes of hers. She let her gaze drift skyward to study the moon out of habit, then started down the street. I stood from my position sitting behind a nearby bush and followed her silently.
Since the day I had encountered her at the Kaiba mansion, I had been following her nonstop. I hadn't even bothered hunting down my pathetic light side. I slept outside her house, content to know that she was near. At least, I was content for the moment. I knew all too well how greedy I could get about Isis. It had started like that. I was just content to be near her. Then, little by little, I needed her more and more until any separation was unbearable. All the time I had been kept apart from her had buried all those emotions, until I had forgotten what they were like. Now, they all came rushing into my throat until I thought I would choke, and I wondered how I could ever forget anything so powerful. No wonder I had wanted to die after I had left her. I still wondered, though, how she could have seen my dead body if I knew for a fact that I was still very much alive. I decided not to think too much about that.
Isis turned onto a dark, grimy street that I didn't like very much. I saw a group of men moving around in the darkness. I tried to move in close to her and warn her away, but fear drove me back. I remembered the hollow look in her eyes when I had touched her, the pain, the want, and the anguish of a woman who had already promised herself to another and couldn't forget the man she had promised herself to. I berated myself angrily as the group of eight men surrounded her. She reeled from one and straight into the arms of another. She made a brave attempt to give herself enough room to evoke her formidable attack power, but they hit her on the back of her head. Now I was angry. I jumped into the light and went in swinging. I don't know what I was thinking. I was much smaller than the smallest in their group. Unfortunately for me, that realization didn't hit until I was already in their midst and they were glaring at me. Still, despite my growing tension, I took my place standing over Isis's fallen body and glared back.
Have I ever mentioned I love the powers I was granted? I really do. I could remember, as I systematically wiped all their memories clean and knocked them unconscious without laying a hand on them, the night I had returned to Egypt. Isis had taught me nearly a year before how to navigate through the palace, and I made my way to her chambers. I can still remember the silly grin that lit up my face as I thought about surprising her as she was settling into bed. When I had gotten to her chambers, I found the door open. Dismay settled upon me as I heard voices talking inside. Isis's voice, soft and pleading, and the voice of a man. At first, I thought I would just wait outside until the man left, but I couldn't control my curiosity. I peeked my head, jealousy rearing its ugly head as well. I saw Isis, still as beautiful as I remembered her, and the young man she called Nen. I saw her reach to embrace him. Saw him bend down and graze her lips with his. Anger, jealousy, and hurt raged inside me, and I ran. I ran out into the streets, ran blindly until I found myself in the abandoned home I had lived in those wonderful months when Isis had been mine. That night, I pleaded for someone to make my life worth living again. And Anubis, the Egyptian god, appeared before me. He told me I had an important part to play in a drama that had only begun to unfold. He gave me my power, my talent to erase memories. Two days later, I attended the public funeral of the Pharaoh, his sister, his adviser, and all his friends. I was among the many openly sobbing. But I sobbed for a love I wondered if I had ever had. I scanned Isis and her brother and the adviser, and even though I was still unused to my new abilities, I already knew they had left catalysts behind. Knowing that the legend of the Millennium Items was coming true, I added my own part in. That night, I hastily made a catalyst and ended my own life. When Ryou woke me up, I knew that if I gathered the Millennium Items as my own, I had a chance of building that empire I had promised Isis, and maybe winning her back.
I blinked as the last man fell. I looked down at Isis. All those years ago, I had loved her more than I could possibly comprehend. Now, even after a millennia of thinking about how she had broken my heart and her promise, I still loved her as much as I ever did, if not more. With a sigh, I knelt down and scooped her up into my arms.
*+*+*Himeko*+*+*
I awoke with a start, sitting up in a bed. Was it a nightmare, I wondered. I looked around myself and recognized the room I was in as Ryou's bedroom.
" What am I doing here?" I wondered out loud. A sudden pain in the back of my head made me reach back there and feel out a tender bump developing. " Ow." I muttered to myself. I paused and stayed still as the sound of feet coming up the stairs that led to Ryou's room. I knew about the layout of Ryou's house because I had spent a fair amount of time here with the group because Ryou's father was rarely home, so it was the perfect place to do what we wanted when Seto wouldn't let us in the mansion. I gulped. I didn't know who to expect, but what I could remember about before I had been knocked out wasn't exactly comforting. Much to my shock, it was Tepemkau who opened the door and stuck his head.
" Oh, you're awake." He said.
" What am I doing here?" I asked. Tepe looked around himself, as if to refresh his memory.
" Um, I couldn't think of any place else to bring you. This was the only safe place I could think of." He said, shrugging.
" You could have taken me home." I said sternly. Tepe actually looked a little sheepish.
" I was worried that your brother would try to blast my head off." He explained.
" You're a yami. You can defend yourself." I protested.
" He's stronger than me, and I'll be the first to admit it." Tepe corrected me. " The two of us have proven it time and time again."
" How did you know?" I asked. Amazingly, he didn't need me to clarify what I meant.
" I've been following you around. I followed you to that party, followed you home, and then when those brutes knocked you out, I gave them a taste of good ol' Egyptian power." Tepe explained, still sheepish. I didn't know what to think about him following me around. Was he a stalker or what? " Where's my light side?" Tepe asked, glancing around the room as if he expected to find Ryou there.
" He was worried that you'd... um, well..." I struggled to find the right thing to say. I had meant to say "beat him," but it occurred to me in mid- sentence that saying that might not be the greatest idea ever to strike anyone.
" Hit him? Beat him up? Punish him?" Tepe suggested, smiling grimly. " I guess he told you about all that, huh? I haven't been the best yami in the world."
" That's one way of putting it." I agreed. I rubbed the back of my head tenderly.
" Let me take a look at that." Tepe volunteered. I obligingly turned and let him inspect the large bump developing there.
" You need to stop that." I told him.
" Stop what? Making sure you don't have a concussion?" Tepe asked incredulously.
" No. Stop hurting Ryou. And call him by his name every now and then. And being nice certainly wouldn't hurt any." I told him.
" Easy for you to say. You came out of your prison without any memories, right?" Tepe asked, and continued after I nodded. " You didn't remember any of your pain. It's a lot easier to make friends when you aren't trying to figure out how to mend a shattered heart."
" That doesn't give you the right to take it out on Ryou. What'd he ever do to you?" I asked. Tepe sighed and leaned his head on my shoulder. A part of me relished in his nearness, but another part of me kept thinking of Nen and felt nervous.
" Maybe not. I was so angry at you, but you weren't there. He was. So I took it all out on him. Maybe it wasn't right, but it did make me feel better." Tepe said.
" Well, I am here now. No more hurting Ryou. The poor boy's been living in fear since you showed up." I said.
" I'll never be buddy-buddy with him, if that's what you want." Tepe told me haughtily, stiffening. " You and your brother may love your light sides, but I don't. He was there, he was my catalyst. That's the only connection."
" Well, Ryou has the right to live in his own home." I reminded him.
" No one ever made him leave." Tepe protested.
" So what? He should have just stayed here and waited for the next time you had a tantrum so he could be your punching bag?" I asked.
" Well, when you say it like that..." Tepe conceded.
" What happened to you? You never used to want to hurt a thing." I asked, turning my head to stare at him. Those bottomless brown eyes stared back without blinking.
" I could ask you the same question, for a different reason." He said. " Anyway, I don't think it's very serious."
" What?" I asked. How could beating up on Ryou for no reason not be serious, I wondered.
" Your head. I don't think that bump is serious." Tepe said patiently. " There's a phone downstairs. You might want to call your brother before he has a heart attack. Knowing him, he'll think that little bump is worth a trip to the hospital. Then he'll want to murder me for laying a finger on you."
" Oh, right. I'll go call him." I said, standing up. I must have stood too fast, though, because I was suddenly overcome by nausea and vertigo. I swayed dangerously, a small moan escaping my lips. Tepe's strong arms were around me almost too quickly for me to know what was happening. The next thing I knew, I was leaning heavily against his chest, biting back my nausea as he stroked my hair.
" I'd forgotten how warm you are." Tepe murmured into my hair as he laid his head on top of mine. I snuggled a little closer to him, and wrapped my own arms around his middle. " How could I forget?" Tepe asked himself distantly. How could I forget, I echoed him distantly in my head, wondering how I could have ever forgotten how good it felt when he held me. Guilt suddenly rose in my chest as I saw Nen's eyes. I pulled out of Tepe's grip.
" Ammon will be worried." I said, clearing my throat. Tepe watched me without any discretion.
" I can see the pain in your eyes. Does my touch hurt that much?" he asked.
" I just can't forget him." I whispered.
" You gave all your innocence to Yuki, didn't you?" Tepe asked, sighing sadly.
" I didn't think I needed it anymore. I gave her all my light." I muttered.
" The story of our kind." Tepe said, shrugging. " Go call your brother." He added.
*+*+*Yami Bakura*+*+*
" Are you ever gonna get your lazy butt off the couch?" Ryou asked me, throwing a dish towel at my face.
" Nope." I responded easily, throwing the towel back.
" You need to." Ryou yelled as he walked into the kitchen. I let my hand fall off the couch, lifted it up, flipped him off, and resumed my position. " I saw that." Ryou called.
" Good." I growled.
" You should show some appreciation. Goodness knows I sure didn't have to let you come back here, and Yami sure didn't have to let you live." Ryou lectured me. " You're lucky Yuki took pity on you, and Yami and Kaiba have such a soft spot for her."
" Are you done preaching to me? Don't you have the common sense to leave a depressed guy alone?" I asked him, rolling over in the couch toward the kitchen to amplify my voice.
" Do I have 'therapist' written on my forehead?" Ryou asked me. " I really don't care if you are depressed. Get over it already. After all, you know what they say; it's better to have loved and lost-"
" Than never to have loved at all." I finished for him. " Yuki has used that one on me so many times, I feel like I could vomit every time I hear it. And you sure are a whiny brat." I told him.
" I'm enjoying your peacefulness, thank you." Ryou told me. He had never spoken to me so recklessly. I think he was really just testing my limits. How far could he push me, since Isis had made me swear not to hurt him without a good, legitimate reason. The Pharaoh had permission to beat me up if I beat Ryou up without a good reason. I figured Ryou would go back to his polite self once he decided I really wasn't going to kill him in his sleep. Although the notion was very tempting.
" If I didn't swear to Isis I wouldn't beat you anymore, I would break your nose." I threatened.
" I love you, Himeko!" Ryou cried joyfully. I growled.
" I think I could justify that as a legitimate reason to kill you." I said, yanking myself off the couch and onto my feet. Ryou's eyes went wide and he dashed for the kitchen door. I laughed and seated myself on the couch again, reaching for the remote. I was sick of watching the infomercial on.
" Ha ha ha. That was hilarious." Ryou called, with absolutely no conviction. I think I had gotten the message through to him that there was a limit. " Do you think you could at least get dressed?" he asked. I could just hear the grimace in his voice.
" I'm dressed!" I protested.
" You're wearing a pair of jeans. That's it." Ryou said, unimpressed.
" What are you, my father?" I asked.
" If that gets you off your butt, then yes." Ryou answered, leaning over the couch and flipping the dish towel in his hands at my face repeatedly. That lasted about five seconds before I shoved him away and climbed to my feet.
" Fine, I'll put on a shirt!" I cried. " I think I liked it better when you refused to say a word to me!" I told him angrily.
" I liked it better when you were in the Shadow Realm!" Ryou shot back. I picked up a shirt off the staircase and wadded it up, hurling in the same general direction as Ryou's head. I missed purposely, but it was close enough to make him duck.
" Why did I have to give you a smart mouth? Why couldn't I make you mute?" I asked myself, casting my gaze toward the ceiling.
" You're not that smart!" Ryou told me, a stupid grin on his face. I turned at the top of the stairs and glared at him. I chuckled to myself when he turned abruptly and returned to whatever it was he was doing in the kitchen. I turned again and tromped into the room I had taken over. It was originally the guest room, but then I came along. In Ryou's words, it was a pit. My newly acquired wardrobe was pretty much strewn over the floor, and the bed was a tangled mess of sheets and blanket. I sighed and picked a shirt up off the floor, shook it out, and pulled it over my head. Ryou hated it. He said I was a total slob. I, of course, told him he was a neat freak. I still had trouble figuring out how someone so different from me could be my catalyst. A catalyst is supposed to be made in the image of his creator, for crying out loud! Isis's catalyst, Yuki, shared Isis's determination and love of family. Even the Pharaoh had something in common with his catalyst. What did I have? Someone who shared my general appearance, and that was about it. In a funny way, I was jealous of them. They had such good relationships with their catalysts. One big happy family. I had trouble sitting at the same table as my catalyst. I had ruined any chance of a normal relationship with him. He would always regard me with suspicion and fear, no matter what I did.
I flashed a look at the mirror. My wild white hair fell just below my shoulders and my dark brown eyes glared back at me. I saw the same eyes in Ryou. It's a weird thing, looking at your catalyst. Sometimes, I would think that this must be what it feels like for a father to look into the eyes of his son. They were my eyes. I knew them. But the look in them wasn't mine. And the face that encased them was softer than mine. I sighed. Ryou hated me. I was used to that. But suddenly, his acceptance was critical. If no one else in the world accepted me, I needed to know he did. Maybe Isis's rejection was making me sentimental.
" Hey! Are you going to eat or what?!" Ryou called up.
" Why not?" I wondered out loud, stomping down the stairs.
Two days later, on a Wednesday afternoon, I found myself following Ryou home from school.
" That has to be the single most terrible torture I have ever been forced to endure." I said loudly. Ryou looked at me over his shoulder.
" What are you talking about? That was a pretty good day." He said. I stared at him, all other thoughts and complaints forgotten.
" If that was a good day, I'm scared to see the bad days." I muttered. " Exactly why are we forced to go to that torture on a daily basis?" I asked, jogging to catch up. I was tired. I had been forced to get up at an ungodly hour to attend that stupid place and listen to a bunch of people, who looked more exhausted than I felt and about as old as the Millennium Ring and my soul, lecture on and on about stuff I couldn't even comprehend.
" Because, according to the government, we need to be educated to succeed in life." Ryou recited.
" I am educated. I know how to break into most tombs, I can tell you fifteen different ways to pick a person's pocket, and I can pick any lock you put in front of me. That's just the basics. Would you like me to go into detail?" I asked, glad that for the first time that day I didn't feel like an idiot.
" No. And that has never been considered a good education and I don't think it ever will." Ryou said.
" I don't see why. It certainly works for me." I said.
" They want us to grow up and be doctors and lawyers and teachers-" Ryou explained.
" Teacher? What person in his right mind would want to do that? I just had to watch teachers all day long and it was not a pleasurable experience. I hate to think of it from the teacher's point of view." I interrupted. Ryou grinned.
" For once, I agree with you. But they say we need teachers so we can make more doctors and lawyers and more teachers. It's a cycle." He said.
" Who's they, anyway? You keep saying 'they.'" I asked.
" 'They' are the government. They want us to have a good education to maybe we'll work for them, too." Ryou said. " It's kind of funny. They say that it'll be better for us, but if you look at it just right, you see that it eventually benefits them too."
" Your age is screwed up." I said decisively.
" I agree. Wow, that's twice in a row that I've agreed with you! Wanna try for three?" Ryou asked teasingly. I looked around.
" Ice cream sounds nice." I answered, pointing.
" This could be the beginning of something good." Ryou decided.
" What? Ice cream?" I asked, fishing in my uniform pocket for some money. I wasn't coming up with very much. " Come on, I know I have more than that." I muttered.
" Never mind." Ryou said, stepping up to the ice cream vender. Before I could protest, he had paid for mine as well as his own. He shoved it into my face and walked off. I had to run to catch up to him.
" So tell me what you know about Himeko." Ryou said after a moment of silence and ice cream eating.
" Depends on what you want to know." I answered.
" Her favorite food?" Ryou asked.
" I can't pronounce it anymore. Some Egyptian delicacy." I admitted.
" Okay. Her favorite color?"
" That's easy. Black. And dark blue."
" Um, nervous habits?"
" She stutters and gets really clumsy."
" Favorite time of the day?"
" Midnight." I answered, then turned toward Ryou and inspected him. " Why do you want to know?" I asked him.
" Well, actually, Yami asked me to ask all those questions." Ryou admitted. " But don't tell him I told you that."
" Why?" I asked, stopping and giving Ryou my best glare.
" Cut that out! All you have to do is say please!" Ryou protested, stepping out of my arms reach. Another reminder of the fact that he would never trust me fully.
" Please." I obliged.
" Fine. He's trying to test you and make sure you're not going to try to hurt Himeko or Yuki." Ryou confided.
" Why would I hurt Yuki? She's never done anything but help me." I wondered out loud.
" Yeah, but she's really close to Himeko and Yami. It'd be real easy to hurt her to get revenge on them. Same with Yugi." Ryou explained. I was thoroughly insulted.
" But they never did a thing to me! Sure, I wouldn't mine getting their Millennium Items, but I wouldn't hurt them if they didn't do a thing to me! Why would he think I would?!" I protested. Ryou gave me a meaningful look. " Oh. That's why." I said, suddenly sheepish. " I'm starting to think that's going to haunt me forever." Ryou didn't answer. Instead he started down the street again.
" Why are Yami and Yugi so close?" he asked after a moment. So it had been bothering him too. Maybe we were more alike than I had thought.
" The same reasons Yuki and Isis are so close. Without the Pharaoh and Isis, Yugi and Yuki wouldn't exist. That's cause for closeness. But then, Ammon and Isis can't exist without Yugi and Yuki. The co-dependence helps a lot. And to top it all off, Yuki and Yugi created the bodies the other two live in now with their own flesh, blood, and pain. I think it makes them feel like they're really family." I explained. " You want to ask why we aren't like them, since we have all the same things, right?" I asked. Ryou nodded mutely. I don't think he trusted his voice. " That would be my fault, I think." I answered myself. I didn't want to ask him if he would always hate me. I was afraid of the answer. Ryou didn't volunteer one, either.
" Why do you love Himeko so much, even after she hurt you?" Ryou asked.
" I wish I knew. A part of my hates her, and another loves her more than ever." I answered honestly. I blinked suddenly. " Why am I telling you this?" I asked. Ryou shrugged.
" Maybe we're both getting better." He said. " And I don't think it's all your fault. I think I'm to blame, too." He added. I didn't tell him that his confession made me feel so much better, and that it was exactly what I needed to hear right then.
" Isis is a funny thing. She gave all her light, all her innocence and childhood to Yuki. Even the Pharaoh retained some of that. She's the child of darkness, the mother of pure light. Maybe that's why I still... feel that way about her." I said, suddenly afraid to say the word "love."
" You know what? We've been walking for an hour, and we're farther from home than when we started." Ryou said suddenly, stopping. I looked around.
" I'm not even going to ask how you can tell." I said.
" Well, see that street sign over there?" Ryou started, pointing to a sign. I covered my ears and ran off.
" I said I wasn't going to ask so you wouldn't explain!" I cried.
" Hey, wait! You're going the wrong way!" Ryou shouted, chasing after me.