Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Warnings: Another angst filled chapter! Sorry, but it will get better as we go along. I promise!
A/N: Megilindir is not Strider. Completely different people, even though he is a ranger! Besides Aragorn is Arwen's.
Chapter 23: Upsetting News
Almost two months had passed since Zinnia and the rest of her party had arrived in Imladris. Most of her time was spent with Elrond's children or Erestor. The library there was almost larger than the one in Lórien. She had never thought such a thing was possible, and took advantage of it as much as she could.
When she wasn't in the library she was wondering around the grounds, usually with a book in her hands. The twins had teased her about it but she brushed them off easily enough. One thing that didn't change was her training. She would always go down to the practice fields in the morning for either archery or sparing.
Many times she ended up with the ranger. It seemed he was there in the mornings as well. She hadn't been able to best him since the first time, but she could tell that it was harder for him to beat her than he had thought it would have been. A slow smile spread across her features as she thought of Megilindir.
Though she would never admit it to anyone she found him attractive. At first she thought it simply the novelty of him being a human. Then as time passed she found it was other things. His eyes, his laugh, his nicely muscled chest.
'He's damn infuriating!' She shifted in her chair and a slight frown took the place of her earlier smile. 'He's annoying, irritating, and smug. It doesn't matter if he has a nice ass, he is still an orc.' She blushed red then as she remembered Arwen catching her watching said ass as he walked away. The elf had only smiled knowingly and not said a word. 'Get a hold of yourself. You are not a child anymore!'
Child. Zinnia looked up from her thoughts and into the calm eyes of the Lord of Imladris. She stood and bowed slightly.
Lord Elrond.
You wish to see me?
Yes. She tried to stamp back her embarrassment but failed.
I hope you have not been waiting long for me.
No my Lord, only a few moments. I. . . I have a question for you in regards to well, your roll as healer.
Ah, then please walk with me. He held out his arm and she put hers through it as they walked down the corridors.
I must say that your land is beautiful. I would never have thought something could be as lovely as Lórien. He smiled at her.
Yes, the lands are much different but each hold their own form of beauty. She smiled at him nodding in agreement. Though we do not have the trees as your land, it is one thing Celebrían missed the most.
The stairs I do not miss. Elrond chuckled slightly and led her into a room. She supposed it was a healing room as there was a large bed and rows upon rows of herbs and the like on the self lined walls.
Please sit. He led her to the chairs next to the bed sitting in the one next to her as she sat in hers. What do you wish to ask? The nervousness fluttered in her again and she started wringing her hands.
I.. . do you know of my past?
A little. She paused for a moment.
Before Lórien I was. . mistreated, badly. She looked up and Elrond who nodded. When I turned 18, I went to Garan for a mixture he made for me. He is our healer. Elrond smiled.
Yes Garan was a student of mine long ago. She smiled slightly.
It was before my first solstice feast, the mixture he said was one of your recipes. For human conception. Elrond nodded again. He examined me before. . and. . well he told me to give this to you when I came here. I put thoughts of it out of my mind as he did not wish to tell me for certain. She handed him a letter that Garan had written. He did not feel comfortable telling me for sure as I was the first human he had ever worked with. He told me you would be more experienced in these matters. Elrond took the letter and read it over.
Garan found scar tissue?
As I said. . mistreated. She looked down then sighed before looking back up. I wish to know if I can have children.
~~~~~~~~
'Load. Aim. Release. Load. Aim. Release.' These were the only thoughts going through Zinnia's head as she let arrow after arrow fly from her bow. Her showing was horrible as her mind was not really focused on where her arrow was going but what Elrond had told her. She pushed the conversation forcefully out of her head not wanting to hear it again. Not really wanting to remember the answer. Her mind went back to the rhythmic movements of firing her arrows.
"For a March Warden's daughter your aiming is pitiful." Her eyes snapped to the smirking face of Megilindir and pure fury grew in her. "Perhaps you need the practice more than I."
"What the hell do you know of me! You insignificant little bug! You have no idea! Not a single realization of who I am or what I can or can not do." Megilindir was surprised at the anger he heard in her tone. He had meant it as a jest, as they had been throwing insults at one another. Neither had meant it in true spite.
"Is something wrong?"
"Why would anything be wrong? No I'm perfectly fine. . just. . just." She growled and threw her bow towards the target with a scream.
"Zinnia." She smacked his hand away when he touched her.
"Don't ever touch me human! You're all the same! I know it, I know you are." She pushed him causing him to stumble back slightly. He only grew more confused at her reaction as tears started running down her face. "All worthless, filthy, monsters. Lower than any orc! Lower than any other living thing." She went to hit him but he grabbed her hand before she could. The other hand connected to his cheek before he could grab it though.
"Zinnia." His tone was a cross between anger, concern, and a command. He was thankful she had only slapped him as his cheek throbbed painfully.
"I should be happy I can't bring any more into this world. I should be happy." She sobbed and her knees buckled the only thing holding her up. "Why does it hurt so much?" She screamed again and he dropped to his knees holding her. "He took everything. Everything." She started crying and he held her closer.
"Who Zinnia? Who caused this in you?"
"He took everything. My mother, my brother, my childhood and now he took my future. He took it! He took everything." She stared sobbing uncontrollably and he shifted so she was more comfortable in his arms. Her own arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer as she continued to cry and scream. He looked up when he saw one of the sentries run into the practice filed.
Go retrieve Elrond! She needs help. The sentry wasted no time leaving at a full sprint. He kept trying to calm her down and comfort her but it seemed her hysteria was only growing.
~~~~~~
Megilindir sighed as he turned and paced to the other side of the hall. It had been almost an half an hour since he had helped to bring Zinnia who had still been crying and screaming to the healing rooms. He was about to turn again when a hand fisted into the front of his tunic pushing him hard into the wall. Before he could even really react a blade was tight against his throat and he was staring into the blazing eyes of Haldir.
What did you do to her? As a ranger he had faced down many things. Orcs, trolls, goblins, wargs, even a few humans now and then, nothing, absolutely nothing in his entire life scared him as much as the elf that was currently threatening him.
Nothing Lord Haldir. The knife tightened.
I do not believe you. The words were a growl and Megilindir swallowed nervously.
Then ask Lord Elrond. I swear to you I did not harm your daughter. The knife relaxed fractionally but did not move from his throat.
Haldir. Neither Haldir's or Megilindir's eyes strayed from the other as Elladan put his hand on Haldir's shoulder. He would not have hurt her, he is a friend. Haldir's eyes only narrowed. Come, father will allow you in to see her.
Friend or not, if you hurt her I will hunt you down and hand out what justice I deem fit.
I understand. Haldir sneered as he moved away from the ranger.
Your understanding is not necessary in this matter. What I stated is a simple fact. It would be of no use to run if you lied to me this day. Both Elladan and Megilindir watched Haldir walk into the room and close the door. Unconsciously Megilindir let out a breath when the march warden was out of sight.
Haldir did not mean it Megilindir. He is just protective of his daughter. Megilindir looked to him.
Elladan, he meant what he said with every fiber of his being. Elladan smiled slightly.
True. Let us go have lunch. Megilindir shook his head slightly.
Nay, I wish to know of her condition. I will stay here. Elladan sighed as he watched the other straighten his tunic before sitting down in one of the chairs across from the door Haldir had entered.
Father gave her a rather strong sleeping mixture. She will most likely not wake for a day or so.
Then I shall wait. Megilindir looked to Elladan. She was screaming that 'he' took something from her. Do you know who she was speaking of? Elladan moved and sat next to his friend.
I do, but it is not my story to tell. It is hers, and I do not think you would ever hear it.
Yet she told you.
No, no when I first heard her story she was but a child. Ten, perhaps a little older. My brother and I. . we. . well I am surprised Haldir did not have us at the end of his sword for what grief we caused her. It was unintentional but we still caused it in our foolishness. Our grandfather told us to better enable us to understand just what damage we had done. Even that telling was short and lacking details. Not that I would have wished to hear the long version besides.
It is that horrible then.
More so. The silence stretched between them as they watched the door.
~~~~~~~
Is she injured? What happened? Will she heal? Elrond looked up from wiping down the sleeping girl's face and into the very worried eyes of her father. He stood and gave a small smile hoping to alleviate some of Haldir's concern.
She will be fine, right now she is only resting. He held the cloth out. Would you rather this task? Haldir nodded and took the cloth before taking Elrond's place on the bed next to Zinnia. He could tell that she had been crying, her eyes were still puffy and red from tears.
Zinnia. His soft word was accompanied by a caress down her cheek.
She will not wake Haldir. I gave her something to help her sleep. Haldir looked back up to Elrond.
What is wrong?
I am afraid that, this is partially my fault. Elrond sighed and sat on the chair next to the bed. She came to me earlier asking me to examine her.
Why? Is she growing sick? Elrond looked at Haldir a moment.
She did not tell you.
Tell me of what? Elrond pressed his lips into a thin line as he looked to the sleeping girl.
When she came of age she went to Garan for an elixir that I created that would stop her body from being able to conceive for a period of a few months. I assume that it was for the Solstice feast. Haldir nodded. Garan examined her, something I told him to do in one of our letters.
Letters?
Garan has never worked with humans before. We converse occasionally when he has questions. Haldir nodded. He found scar tissue from earlier. . abuse Haldir's eyes widened slightly as he realized what Elrond was saying. He did not feel comfortable informing your daughter of the consequences of that as she is the only human he has ever treated.
So she waited to speak with you of it.
Yes. Haldir looked back down to Zinnia and caressed her cheek again. I told her earlier that with the amount of damage found, there would only be a small chance that she would ever be able to have children. The more likely situation would be that she would never be able to conceive. Haldir's eyes closed as he continued to lovingly stroke his daughters cheek.
That is why she is so upset. Haldir opened his eyes and looked to Zinnia's face. She never spoke to me of this.
I am sorry Haldir. I should have waited until you or another she is comfortable with was here to help her. She seemed calm enough when I told her, it is why I let her go. Haldir sighed and then started to wipe her face again.
Do not be, she can hide things when she wishes. He looked to Elrond. She is not in any danger though. This affects nothing else.
No, she is healthy. Nothing is wrong with her. Haldir nodded and turned his attention back to his child. She was hysterical when Megilindir brought her here. It is why I gave her something to make her sleep. She had to calm.
Thank you Lord Elrond. I am in your debt. Elrond smiled slightly though Haldir didn't see it.
Nay, you are not March warden. He stood and put his hand on Haldir's shoulder. Do you wish me to send you some lunch. Haldir shook his head slightly.
I am not hungry. He wiped down her other cheek as he spoke.
Then I shall have dinner sent here later. Elrond paused a moment before speaking again. She will be fine, though perhaps saddened when she wakes. I will check on her again tomorrow.
Thank you. Elrond nodded taking one last look at the two on the bed before leaving the room. Haldir didn't hear him go, too absorbed in his thoughts and his daughter.
'Why did you not tell me sweet?' He sighed as he moved back slightly. She had never confided anything of the like to him. The thought of her having children had never really entered his thoughts though. Her having children would most likely mean that she had a husband. A husband who would most likely not come from Lórien, a husband that would take her away from him.
A feeling of relief swept through him. Relief that his daughter would not leave him, relief that was soon replaced with a deep feeling of shame for being so selfish. He picked up one of her hands and cradled it in his. His eyes closed as he brought it to his lips and kissed it before leaning his cheek against it.
I am sorry tinu, I am so sorry. A few tears fell down his cheeks when he opened his eyes looking back at her peaceful face. He kissed the back of her hand again before pulling the chair closer to the bed and sitting in it. Leaning forward he held her hand between his and started singing.
Hours passed as he sat there with her. He would wipe her face occasionally between songs and stories. Dinner was delivered but sat untouched where it had been set. She never moved once as he sat with her.
A few hours before sunrise he stood and stretched slightly. His mind had not let him rest nor relax. Anger had been steadily growing in him as he had time to think. He wished once more that he had been there to see the human's demise all those years ago. More over he wished he had been the one to end the monster's life.
I shall return shortly my sweet. He leaned over and kissed her forehead intending to go for a short walk and also get her a change of clothes. As he opened the door he was surprised at what he found. Megilindir was still on the chair. His head was tilted back slightly, his eyes closed in sleep, but he was still waiting. The tray of cold untouched food sitting next to him didn't go unnoticed either. Haldir turned to walk towards his intended destination but stilled turning back towards the ranger.
Megilindir. He shook the humans shoulder gently. The boy's eyes opened almost immediately and Haldir stood straight again taking a step back.
Is she awake? The ranger stood and looked to Haldir.
She will still sleep for hours yet. Perhaps you should go find your own rest. Megilindir tilted his head slightly trying to figure out if that was a warning to go away or just a polite suggestion.
I would rather wait Lord Haldir. He paused a moment as Haldir regarded him. Is she well? Elrond only told me that she was uninjured.
Physically she is. . well. Go back to your room Megilindir. If you wish to see her come back after lunch. Should she want to see you, you may then. There was another awkward pause. Thank you for helping her.
It does not require thanks Lord Haldir. I shall return after lunch. Haldir nodded and watched as the human walked down the hallway.
~~~~~~~~
Ada = father
Megilindir = Bladesinger
Tinu = daughter
A/N: Unlike other things, such as how an abused child would react, or various other details, I did not research any medical stuff for this chapter. I have no idea what the effects of Zinnia's past would be on her adult body. This is simply something that I wished to address plot wise.
Also a big, big thank you to all of my readers and reviewers! I am sorry that it took so long to start updating again but I was stuck on the last chapter. Now that is over though and everything is rolling along smoothly! Another big thanks to my wonderful beta, Mellon1.