Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Warnings: Again, mentions of child abuse. If you don't like don't read.

A/N: Many thanks to Mellon1 and Gwen for looking this chapter over for me!

Chapter 28: Leaving Imladris

Zinnia laughed as Erestor spun her around. The months had passed and now she and the other Galadhrim were leaving in two days. Elrond had thrown them a feast, and despite having to wear a dress she was enjoying herself immensely. It even succeeded in distracting her from the jumble of thoughts in her head. He pulled her back to him and they continued to dance to the lively music. The song ended a few moments later and they began to clap, turning toward the small ensemble of musicians.

Come walk with me? Erestor held out his arm, and she took it, smiling.

I need a rest besides. He grinned and led her out towards one of the well established paths to the gardens.

I am glad you could make it here, meldir. She hugged him tightly and smiled.

As am I.

I trust Imladris was everything you had ever thought it would be. She chuckled.

That and more. It is beautiful. I will be sad when we leave.

Ah, then you will be happy to know I have decided to answer yes to your earlier proposition. She looked to him, confused slightly, not remembering having proposed anything to him. He looked to her and grinned slowly, raising an eyebrow. Are you not even happy? You are engaged. She flushed red and Erestor laughed.

Oh! You are cruel, Erestor. She punched him on the shoulder lightly but joined his laughter. I would not take the proposal back. At that point in my life you were the only one I wished to be bonded to.

And now that is not the case? The blush that had just begun to fade started to crawl back up her cheeks. Then there is one.

No… yes… I mean… we are friends. She shook her head slightly. It is of no consequence. I leave in but two days… and I… he is a ranger and I live in Lórien. I see no possibility of it becoming more. Erestor frowned deeply at that. Megilindir had questioned him more than a month ago about her schooling. Erestor knew that his questions were not for an interest romantically but for an interest in her as a ranger.

'If he hasn't asked her yet…' his thoughts trailed off. This would not be good, was he planning on asking her before she left? Had he changed his mind? Erestor knew that Zinnia would make a good ranger, not only because her fighting skills but for her observation and general knowledge of the wilderness as well. He also knew that Zinnia would be overjoyed to do such, even if, he knew, her father would hesitate.

And you would follow him if you could? She shrugged.

I do not know him that well as of yet, Erestor. I have fun speaking with him… and sparring with him. She grinned. He is a friend. I do not know how many times I have repeated that phrase this past month. She rolled her eyes. Perhaps I should send letters stating such to my uncles before I leave.

I am sure the lady has already informed them. She laughed again and smiled.

True, perhaps they will take her word then and leave me alone. No one seems to believe me anyway. She turned her attention back to the path and Erestor smiled, watching her for a moment before doing the same.

'It is not that we do not believe you, aier, it is that we see what neither you nor Megilindir can as of yet.' He smiled at the thought, knowing it would be of no use to speak it out loud. Mentally he sighed as he realized that he was going to have to arrange a talk with Glorfindel. Megilindir would not take advice in regard to the rangers from him alone. He would need back up.

~~~~~~~~

You are a fool chieftain of the Dúnedain. Glorfindel scoffed and rolled his eyes. She would be a welcome addition to your forces. Her experience is not extensive, but the training has been ingrained in her since she was younger than most of your rangers. Erestor shook his head slightly. He had told Glorfindel to be subtle.

'That is subtle for Glorfindel.' Erestor thought drolly. She leaves in but a day. Tomorrow she is gone. You cannot ask this of her and expect her answer in a few moments. Megilindir frowned and looked down at his hands which were folded on the table.

I am not going to ask her. It would be… wrong of me.

How? Megilindir sighed.

I am biased and am not sure if I would be asking her for the correct reasons. I am not going to put her or any of my other rangers in danger. Glorfindel snorted.

She could hold her own in a fight. Her temperament would suggest she is a little rash at times, but she is young, and that is normal for youngsters.

If I ask her then I must sponsor her… as are the ways of the Dúnedain. I have never taken on a novice before. I have led some of the lesser experienced, but I have never trained another as a Guide.

Then I would suggest that you take her as your first student. She has been taught everything, though the hardest part would be to show her how to use her skills. Glorfindel sat forward and Megilindir looked to him. Ask her. Megilindir opened his mouth to speak but Glorfindel held his hand up to quiet him. You are hesitant because you have feelings for her.

I would not say I have-

Child, I am not done speaking. Megilindir snapped his mouth shut. As I was saying, you have feelings for her. And were she some maiden, just some village woman or even an elleth I would be advising you to accept that hesitancy. She is none of those things; she is a warrior at heart. You should not be hesitant.

I just wish to know that I would ask her for the right reasons and not just to… keep contact with her. Erestor sighed and leaned forward as well.

Then what you have to ask yourself is, if you had no feelings one way or the other, would you ask her to join your rangers? Megilindir thought for only a moment.

Yes, there would be no hesitation on my part. I know that she is skilled. I also know that she wishes to be a ranger, or at the very least to travel. But… I know too that… I may not be the best person to sponsor her.

If you would have no reservations if had you not been friends with her then why should you have reservations now? Erestor sighed before continuing. You are nervous for your actions: do not deny her this chance because of your fear. She is most suited to be a ranger. Sponsor her. Megilindir smiled and looked to Erestor.

Is that an order? Besides, why are you both so set on this?

It would be a waste to let her skill whither in Lórien. She will never be anything there, Megilindir. Her skill, though great for a human, will never hope to match that of an elf. She does not have the years to train to even the most novice warden level. If you were in her position, would you wish to spend your years simply training and never have a chance to prove yourself? She has a want to travel, she has a want to put her skills to use. Give her that chance, meldir. You are the only one who can. Megilindir frowned slightly looking down at the table.

I do not wish to make the wrong decision on this matter.

If you decide not to at least offer her the choice, you will be making the wrong decision.

~~~~~~~~~~

Zinnia sighed as she put the last of her clothes in her pack. She had at least another bag full of items she had accumulated while in Imladris and smiled already thinking of the disapproving look she was sure it would evoke from her father. Sighing again, she sat on her bed, looking around the room. It was her final day in Imladris. Tomorrow she would be departing for Lórien.

'I wish…' she sighed again, 'No, I want to go home as much as I wish to stay here.' She pulled one of her dresses onto her lap, running her hand down the fabric. Her heart ached at the thought of leaving her friends and of leaving all of the places in Imladris she had grown to love. Her mind also wandered to the image of Megilindir, and she frowned at her lap. It was the same dress she had worn to the dinner with him.

'Perhaps it just was not meant to be.' She stood and went over to the closet and neatly placed the dress on a hanger. 'I can't stay, and he can't go.' Her emotions were so scattered that she wasn't sure how she felt about that beyond knowing that she would miss him. His friendship and their talks, his firsthand knowledge of the world, a world she wanted to explore.

Her fingers trailed across her lips remembering the one brief kiss they had shared. The one she had given him in front of her room the night he had revealed himself as the gift-giver. She knew it had been a rash act on her part, but she had not been able to stop herself. She had just wanted to know. Neither of them had mentioned it, and though she didn't know it he thought about it as often as she did. She was taken from her thoughts by a knock at the door. When she opened the door she saw Megilindir standing there a smile on his face and a picnic basket in his hand.

"Good afternoon, Zia, I was wondering if you would join me for one final picnic."

"I would be delighted." He led her to the glade they had first had dinner in. It hadn't been the last time they had visited there. Many picnics and talks had taken place between them and many laughs and stories shared. "You seem as though you have something on your mind." She took the blanket from him and spread it out before sitting. He smiled and sat next to her.

"Nay, simply admiring the view." She chuckled and shook her head at him as she started pulling various food items out of the basket. Despite the opening, he did not wish to waste his last picnic with her discussing rangers. He knew he was being selfish, but he wanted her to himself.

"Yes, well admire it all you can for I leave tomorrow." She said it in jest but he frowned.

"I know." Their eyes met and there was a small silence, heavy with things unsaid and feelings unvoiced. "I have been to Lórien before."

"Oh?" She smiled at him. "I do not remember you."

"To the borders, I gave some letters to your father. I never saw past the outer perimeter. I have spoken to you enough of the cities I have traveled for you, tell me of Caras Galadhon."

"It is the city of light, my home." They settled down both starting to pick from the food. "The trees are much larger than any here. It is hard to describe their enormity. Twenty men or even elves with their arms spread in a circle might make the smallest of them, which are mostly outside the city. In the city they grow to even greater heights and thickness. So much so I would not be able to guess at their diameter." He smiled at her and nodded for her to continue.

"We live in the trees. Most everything is in them." She got a far away look and a grin on her face as she continued. "Some are higher than others. Ada and I live further out of the city than most. It's not that we are isolated for we're well within the absolute safety of the gates. It is perhaps a ten-minute walk to the main part of the city, another ten to reach the center. Even within the gates there is much land to explore. Gardens and paths that wander between branches of the mellyrn."

"You miss it." Her eyes cleared and she looked to him.

"I miss it." She agreed. "But I will miss Imladris as well. The waterfalls, gardens, and… and my friends." She smiled almost shyly. "It is so different from home, but it is no less enchanting."

"Perhaps one day I will see your mellyrn."

"I would vouch for you. As would my father, I'm sure. If you wish to, send word and I will petition to the Lady. Though I am sure she will know of you going to the woods before you do." He smiled at her and she returned it.

"I would enjoy that. Perhaps one day." He shifted slightly knowing that he had to eventually ask her to join the rangers. Both Glorfindel and Erestor had been right. She deserved the choice at least. He hadn't told him what truly bothered him though. Should she join the rangers he would not be able to enjoy her company as he did. They would be nothing but teacher and student, nothing else for he would not allow it. Distraction was dangerous in the wild. He could think of no lovelier distraction, but any feelings beyond seeing her as a student would be a potentially life-threatening force.

"I would as well. You brought a book?" She pulled the book out of the basket and smiled. "This is one of my favorites."

"I know. I had that copy made for you. Open the cover." She blushed lightly and did as he asked.

'A man could not be bested by a greater opponent.' She chuckled and looked up to him.

"Thank you, Megilindir."

"The pleasure was truly mine, meldir." He reached over and took her hand, kissing the back of it. She grinned before pulling her hand away.

"Enough talk, I am hungry." They both laughed before turning their attention back to the food and began to talk of which twin looked better: Elrohir in the green dress or Elladan in the blue.

As their talk turned to different subjects, the wine and food slowly disappeared. Soon after Zinnia rested on her stomach reading the book aloud. Megilindir smiled as he lay down as well. He turned on his side and propped his head up with his hand as he watched her. Her legs were bent, her feet swinging slowly around in the air as she read.

'She is so young.' He thought suddenly. Her pose only made her look more so. To him it would be easy to imagine the rambunctious child she had been still inside the woman that was before him. There was an innocence about her, but not the naiveté that usually accompanied it. An open curiosity tempered with a slight mistrust. It seemed a strange combination to him. But a combination that would aid her if she decided to follow him.

"Do I have something on my face?" Her question startled him out of his thoughts, and he focused back on her. She had arched an eyebrow at him and tilted her head slightly.

"Nay, only your nose." She grinned as he did. "Zinnia… I must speak to you."

"I believe that sounds serious." Her grin slowly faded.

"It is serious but not harmful." He sighed and sat up. "I have been postponing this because I have felt that I was not ready. Perhaps that was a mistake… but I was not expecting your answer until many months later." She gave him a lopsided grin.

"If you are going to ask to bond I have already received an offer this week." He looked at her slightly surprised.

"You are going to be bonded?" She laughed.

"A joke between old friends." She sat up and faced him. "Ask me your question that I must not answer for many months. It sounds highly interesting." He smiled slightly before becoming serious again.

"You speak of the rangers often enough to make your infatuation known, but not your seriousness. I sit before you today asking you to become my student and accept me as your teacher, your Guide."

"Guide?" She asked, not completely understanding but realizing enough that a ball of excitement was growing in her stomach,

"It is how one is able to join the rangers. Another ranger must sponsor you, to be willing to Guide you in training and in traveling for at least two years. Then when your teacher is willing to put you through trials, which are held yearly, you attend. If you pass then you become a ranger. You will be given assignments of your own, though until then you will be working with your teacher and any others that are deemed fit."

"You… you are asking me to join the rangers?"

"I am giving you that choice. Your fighting skills are there, only your experience must be improved. Also, I am sure you know the basics of tracking and hunting." He saw her growing excitement and smiled mentally.

"I have wanted to join the rangers ever since I learned of them."

"I have guessed as much." He smiled, unable to keep it from his face. "I ask not for that though, but because you are what every ranger would look for in a recruit: eager, skilled, and knowledgeable. Know that my… my friendship with you has nothing to do with this. I would have asked even if had you never spoken to me beyond calling me an insignificant bug." She blushed slightly.

"Yes… I apologize for that." He chuckled slightly.

"There is no need." His smile slowly slipped as he watched her. "You must know there are things to consider." She looked to him. "Accepting would mean many things beyond you having your wish to be a ranger."

"I would have to leave my father."

"You would." Megilindir nodded slightly. "Not only that, but you would loose much contact with him. Sending letters is not impossible, but chances would be more rare than you have now. Receiving letters would not happen. All of them go to a single camp that will await for you to return to claim them."

"The road is dangerous, meldir. Very much so. It is normal for a guide and student to travel in a group of at least two more, though each situation is different. You will fight, you will most likely kill, you will be injured, and there is a chance that injury could be fatal. I am not going to lie to you, Zinnia, the life is not for everyone." She opened her mouth to speak but he hushed her by holding up his hand. "Even some of those who have wanted it have failed to pass the tests, and even those who do pass the tests do not decide to actually become rangers. You are still young, not a child." He hastily added seeing her slight anger. "Not a child but still young. There are many paths open to you yet."

"What paths?" She held his gaze with hers.

"That… that is what you must think on, Zia. It is not my place to show them to you for only you would know them. Just know that a ranger's life is not an easy one. It is not a romantic thing. It is dangerous, dirty, tedious, and even lonely at times. You must be prepared to face those trials." He smiled and took her hand in his. "I would not have asked you had I not believed that you would be able to accept that life. To make it your own and live happily with your choice. I enjoy being a ranger, but others would not."

"I have put off asking you this for many reasons. At first it was because I wished to make sure of your skill. Woman rangers are rare, but those we do have are usually the best of us. It is just safer to know more of your skill level."

"Is that why you sparred with me all those times?"

"One of the reasons." He smiled. "You were also a worthy challenge." She grinned. "Also, as I got to know you I was concerned that my friendship with you was damaging my objectivity. I did not want to put you in danger by asking you simply out of a want to keep your friendship. Erestor and Glorfindel corrected that notion." Her grin grew to a smile just thinking of how the two elves had convinced him. Together the advisor and sentinel could be a very persuasive force.

"The main reason though… the main reason is you."

"Me?" She frowned confused.

"I… I do not know my feelings for you other than they are of friendship. But friendship that could grow deeper or perhaps into something else." Her confusion was slowly replaced by surprise. "If you accept, Zinnia, if you accept and become my student, even the feelings I have for you now must change. A friendship is allowable to a degree, but we will be relying on each other. There could be no more between us until you were no longer my student. You only have one chance at the trials. Should you take them too early, or should you fail, you have no second chance. You will never become a ranger and I would have failed in your training."

"The fear, my fear, of being unable to sort my emotions was what truly held my tongue. I could not live with myself if I knew I had not prepared you to the best of my abilities. If I had failed you by not seeing things because I was blinded by friendship or… or anything else. So should you accept, you will be my student, I will be your guide. There will be nothing else between us. The friendship we have now must fade."

"I… I understand your concerns." She put her hand on his cheek and he looked up to him. "But I do not share them. You are much like Ada in adherence to duty. There would be no chance of you being unable to prepare me to the best of your abilities. Though I do respect your thoughts on the matter. If that is how you deem it so be it… should I accept." She slowly lowered her hand.

"There are many things to think of. Leaving my home, my ada, my family, and everything else. It will be a hard decision to make. For even if I choose to go with you, I still must… I will have to find a way to leave them. To leave my safety."

"I understand, meldir. You have many months, as I had said. When I leave here shortly after you, my journey will eventually take me to your borders. Should everything go as I have planned I would be there a month or so after solstice. That is ten months from now. I will need your answer then though. It will not be able to wait any longer, and I will most likely not return to your land for years."

"Should I find that I do not wish to be a ranger… would I be able to return even after I left?" He smiled at her.

"Yes, at any time. Until you pass your trials you will be free to leave as you will. Though should you leave… you may not return."

"I understand." There was silence for a moment. "It would be difficult."

"Yes, the trail is hard and the dangers are."

"That is not what I mean." He quieted and looked to her. "I meant that it would be hard to separate my feelings of friendship for you. I… I feel as you do." Silence fell again as they looked at each other.

"Zinnia." His voice was a whisper as they each leaned closer to the other. "We should not." Despite his words he still moved even closer to her. Her lips began to curve into a small smile.

"I have not agreed to your offer as of yet." Their lips met in a sweet and tender kiss. One that soon turned deeper as each moved closer to the other. Zinnia moved her hands up his shoulders even as one of his wrapped around her waist to pull her closer to him. His other hand moved to her neck, his fingers stroking her skin. He pulled back from her lips, but other than that light movement neither moved.

"I leave tonight." He sighed and closed his eyes resting his forehead against hers.

"Why?" She moved so she was embracing him more and he smiled.

"You tempt me." She pulled back to look at him, surprised, and he smiled covering her lips with his thumb before she could protest. "You do not mean to, I know, but still you do. And though I like to think my willpower is strong, I am only human." He smiled slightly and ran his fingers gently down her cheek before his expression flattened into something more serious. "That will not happen again." His features softened somewhat. "It cannot, please understand."

"I understand." Her voice was a sigh and she sat up straighter moving away from him slightly. "Though you do not have to leave because of me." He smiled and took her hand in his.

"I do not leave because of you, but because of me." Gently squeezing her hand he grinned. "Enjoy the book, and perhaps think of me."

"I will." She smiled at him and he cleared his throat before standing, not trusting himself to hold back from kissing her again.

"I will send a letter when I am closer to your borders. Your answer will be known if you are there to join me when I pass through. We will not tarry." She stood and faced him.

"I understand." He realized he was still holding her hand and almost blushed.

"Choose carefully, Zinnia. Choose with your heart but temper it with your mind." He leaned down and kissed her hand before looking up to her. "I know you will choose wisely." He let go of her hand and hesitated as though he was going to say something but turned and left before doing so. She watched him until he had disappeared from sight completely. Sitting back on the blanket she pulled the book into her lap but didn't open it. She sighed, a small smile on her face, and laid down, putting her hands behind her head watching the sky.

~~~~~~~~~~

Haldir looked around the small clearing and frowned deeply. Many had shown up to see them off: Lord Elrond, the twins, Erestor, Arwen, and many others. That wasn't what made him frown though; the absence of a certain person had been the cause of his displeasure. He scanned the area once again but still no ranger.

I would have thought he would have at least shown up to say goodbye to her. Haldir glanced to Glorfindel who had just walked up beside him.

Megilindir and your daughter said their goodbyes yesterday. He left during the night. Glorfindel stifled his smile, knowing why the ranger had left. 'That boy has too much self control sometimes.' I will be sad to see you go, old friend. You do not leave your precious mellyrn enough. Haldir turned and raised an eyebrow, causing Glorfindel to smile even more.

I do not remember you coming to visit in the past hundred years or so.

Yes, well, unlike you, I have duties I must attend to. Haldir's eyebrow only raised higher at Glorfindel's words before they both chuckled.

You have your duties I have my 'precious mellyrn' as you refer to them. They both looked over at the sound of rich laughter. It looked as though the twins had given Zinnia some sort of letter that she was laughing at.

It was a joy to see both you and your daughter, meldir. Safe journey, and perhaps I will visit soon.

You should. Haldir smiled. You know you are always welcome.

As are you.

After all of the goodbyes were said, the Lórien Company mounted their horses and slowly left the gates of the city. Haldir noticed the slight sadness in Zinnia, but he assumed it was no more than to be expected. He knew she had made friends and also knew that she would miss them. She looked over to him and grinned slightly as he moved his horse side-by-side with hers.

And what is this? He looked to the rolled up piece of parchment she held.

The twins' revenge for my stealing their clothes. She grinned. They say I am not allowed to open it until we reach Lórien. They said something about me turning around to help them reach the shores of Valinor before their time. Haldir chuckled.

Then perhaps I should hold on to it for you? She smiled but tilted her head.

No… no I think I will keep it. Besides, I must learn to resist temptation. She put the scroll in her saddle bag.

As you wish. They rode a few more moments in silence.

Thank you, Ada, I had a wonderful time. I could not think of a better gift. He smiled at her thinking of the maps he had commissioned, knowing that her seeing Gondor and a few other places he planned on taking her would also be treasured memories of hers.

Think nothing of it, my sweet.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Megilindir = bladesinger

Meldir = Friend

Elleth = female elves

Ada = father

Mellyrn = Elvish plural of mallorn (Golden trees of Lórien)