The Game of Life
By: Rogue Fox
Part Thirteen... Falling Apart
A/N: Hey, all. First off, I want to thank all the wonderful reviewers that I haven't been able to e-mail personally and thank. If you guys leave your e-mail addresses, it's my practice to thank each one of you personally. But since some of you don't, I have to thank you like this. Anyway, someone attempts suicide in this part, so if you're offended by that, don't read it. ^_^ Arigato and sayonara!
*+*+*Himeko*+*+*
I looked outside the door to my room, checking the hallway. I decided that no one was nearby and turned back into my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I knew Yugi was at Anzu's house, and Ammon had called to me ten minutes ago to inform me that he was going for a drive around town. Grandpa was at the shop, but I still checked around. A nervous habit. I hummed to myself to warm up my voice.
I love to sing. I sung all sorts of songs since my early childhood. I've been singing since before I can remember. I never sang in front of anyone, except for Ammon, once. And he had told me I had a beautiful voice. I never even sang for Nen. I cleared my throat and sang an old Egyptian lullaby to myself, to help warm up. Finally, I stood there in my room, shifting from foot to foot, trying to decide what to sing. I finally settled on an American song called "Reflection." I took a deep breath and glanced around myself one last time. I knew once I started, I would leave this world behind until the end of the song.
" Look at me. You may think you see who I really am, But you'll never know me. Ev'ry day, it's as if I play a part. Now I see, That if I wear a mask I can fool the world, But I cannot fool my heart.
Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
I am now... In a world where I have to hide my heart. And what I believe in. But somehow... I will show the world who I am really am, What's inside my heart, And be loved for who I am.
Who is that girl I see, Staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly, That burns with the need to know the reason why Why must we all conceal what we think, How we feel? Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time. When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show Who I am inside..."
I sighed. And then, I heard the sound of someone clearing their voice. I wheeled around to see a young man, about my age, with chin length black hair tucked behind his ears and vibrant green eyes. He was wearing a black tee-shirt and a black pair of extremely baggy jeans.
" Who are you?!" I shrilled, hurling a book I snatched off my desk in his direction. He ducked out of the way.
" My name's Zack! I'm looking for Yuki Motou!" he cried as I threw my hairbrush.
" Who gave you the right to just come barging in?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
" The door was unlocked and no one answered when I knocked! I could hear you singing, so I-" he tried to explain, but I cut him off.
" So you just came right on in and thought you'd scare me to death!" I screeched.
" I didn't mean to! I just want to talk to Yuki!" the guy cried helplessly. I stopped throwing things at him.
" What do you want with Yuki?" I asked suspiciously.
" What does it matter to you?" he asked haughtily in return.
" She's my little sister." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. He stared at me like I was crazy.
" Yuki doesn't have a big sister." He said in disbelief.
" Look, buddy, I don't have a clue who you are, but I guarantee that Yuki Motou is my little sister." I said crossly.
" Looks like she had more than a name change." The guy muttered, looking down at a slip of paper. " Look, I just want to talk to her, okay?"
" Why?" I asked.
" Is that any of your business?" he shot back.
" You can bet your scrawny ass it is, and when my big brother gets back, he's going to flame broil that ass of yours." I said, cocking an eyebrow.
" Another brother, too?!" the guy asked.
" And then you get to deal with my little brother, Yugi. He's pretty protective too." I added gleefully.
" Can I please talk to Yuki?" the guy begged.
" She doesn't live here." I said.
" What? But this is the only address for 'Motou' the phone book had." He protested.
" She doesn't live with us. She lives with her best friend." I said.
" Can you tell me where that is?" he asked, his shoulders sagging visibly.
" Why should I?" I asked. He looked up at me sharply.
" Because I haven't seen her in like seven months and I'm worried about her!" he cried.
" Oh, you must be one of her old friends from America." I said softly. " Sorry." Now, cruising through Yuki's memory, I could recall his face. Zack, that was his name.
" Whatever. Can you just please tell me where Yuki is?" he asked desperately.
" Hey, Himeko! I brought you those books you wanted to borrow!" Yuki called from down stairs. Zack's already pale face paled considerably more.
" Okay! There's someone up here who wants to see you!" I called back, tromping down the stairs. Zack stayed behind, frozen.
" Really? Who?" Yuki asked as I met her at the bottom of the stairs. She handed me a bag, which I gently set down next to the stairs.
" Come on up and see." I said enticingly. Yuki shrugged and lead the way up the stairs. She gasped just as she got to the top.
" Oh my God! Zack!" she squealed in delight, running over and leaping into his arms. I grinned at him over her shoulder. I could remember Yuki used to have a crush on this guy.
" Yuki! You haven't changed at all!" Zack cried.
" When'd you get here? How's everyone back home? Tell me!" Yuki cried, hopping up and down like she only did when she was uncontrollably excited. I was a little worried she might forget herself and have a power surge.
" I got here just this morning." Zack said, settling his hands on Yuki's shoulders, trying to get her to be still. Yuki grinned up at him like an idiot. " And everyone is just fine. Sarah and Kristina want me to tell you they miss you a bunch, and that they hope you're not too homesick. And then, Beth and Aaron and BJ and Benji and Jessica and Cody and all the rest also want me to tell you that they miss you."
" That's not enough! You've got to tell me everything!" Yuki cried, hugging him tightly. " Did Matt get valedictorian, or did Ashley?"
" They finally called it a draw and they both got it." Matt explained. " They gave a great speech at their graduation ceremony, too! I was sad to see them go."
" Maybe you two would like to get more comfortable rather than stand there in the hallway." I interrupted.
" Oh, okay." Yuki said, grinning at me happily. I was glad to see her like this. Seto had been right, she had been acting pale and sickly lately. This might be just what the doctor ordered, I thought. It was easy for me to follow their conversation because I could see all the people they were talking about from Yuki's memory.
" And Lauren got the female lead in a real play at a real theatre. It was Hamlet, no less!" Zak explained. Yuki squealed.
" You mean she was Ophelia?" she asked. " Oh, I know she must have done that part great!"
" She did. I brought a video tape of the performance." Zak said. " And let's see..." They went on like that until Ammon came home. Ammon was slightly suspicious, but both Yuki and I assured him that Zack was just a visiting friend. I got sick of listening to them after a while and left the house. Ammon couldn't have cared less one way or the other, so I just started walking around. I like to walk. Cars are fine, but you can explore more on foot. I started humming to myself as I walked. I found myself cruising through the mall, looking at odds and ends.
I saw a painting in an art gallery of a young couple sitting on the banks of a river. They looked so happy. I could remember being that happy. I looked away from the picture sharply. Sharp anger rose in my throat. I can't believe this, I thought to myself, am I actually jealous of Yuki? Yes, I was. She was sweet and gentle. She had those big, adorable eyes. She was carefree and happy. There was nothing holding her back. She didn't have the guilt of broken promises on her heart. I know she had plenty of problems to make up for all that, but still... I missed being like her. Tepe had made me so happy, but Nen also did. But as Tepe had said, Nen was gone and he was here. But I hadn't forgotten...
*+*+*Himeko Flashback*+*+*
I watched Yuki and Yugi retreat into the dark void that had appeared behind them. Ammon's hand on my shoulder as all that kept me from running after her. She was my light, my other half. Didn't I need her to survive? She could survive without me, I knew that, but could I survive without her? Ammon took his hand off my shoulder after the void disappeared and took my hand.
" It's time for us to go." He said. He pulled me into a waiting light that had appeared without my knowing it...
The next thing I knew, I was standing in a world that was void of all unhappiness and all pain. And standing there, waiting for me, was everyone I had known. There was my father, my mother, and all their ancestors that had come before them. There was Nuru and Eshe and Tenok and Mariah... and Nen. Ammon and I ran at them. I screamed with joy as Nen gathered me up in his arms and held me close.
" You seem sad." I said to him what seemed like only seconds later, but it might have been hours or days or months or even years. Time doesn't pass like it does here in that place.
" Sadness is not something I am used to feeling here." Nen said slowly.
" How can you possibly be sad?" I asked, leaning against his shoulder as we sat at the foot of a huge tree I had no name for. Instead of leaves, it was covered in beautiful dark blue blossoms that smelled sweeter than anything you could find on the mortal plane.
" Because I know you have not come to stay." Nen said. I sat up suddenly, feeling guilty.
" She needs me, Nen." I murmured. He didn't need to ask who.
" You haven't found everything you were hoping to find here, have you? You were looking for That Boy." Nen said, snarling a little at his slur of a name for Tepe.
" Yes, Nen, I was." I admitted. " And I didn't find him."
" I don't think he would have been allowed on this plane." Nen growled.
" You keep acting like this and you'll no longer be allowed on this plane! Nen, regardless of him, I have to go back. Yuki is my light, my... my daughter. I need her and she needs me." I explained. Nen sighed.
" Then you should go." He said softly.
*+*+*Present*+*+*
I shook my head. I could have stayed in that paradise. But Yuki needed me. She still needed me. And Tepe... I had thought he was dead. I could almost taste the salt of the tears I had cried when I had been shown his body. But that hadn't been his body. Then whose was it? So many shadows surrounding my past... There were still so many things I couldn't remember. I put my hands to my head, which was beginning to pound. Why couldn't I remember? There was something I was supposed to remember, but I couldn't quite get it... I all but ran out of the art gallery, searching for a food court booth that sold ice cream. By Ra, I needed sugar.
*+*+*Yami Bakura*+*+*
I was beginning to wonder about the purpose of my existence on this plane. Morning found me, not for the first time, shirtless on the couch trying to find the energy and motivation to feed myself. And instead of griping at me to get off my lazy butt, Ryou was concerned. I marveled at his ability to do that. Here I was, his tormenter, the one who had made his life a living hell, and he was actually concerned about me? I would have laughed if I weren't so busy trying to keep from crying.
I could not figure out what I hated more. This weakness I felt inside me, or the fact that as far as I could see, I had no purpose aside from causing people pain. I finally decided it was the latter. No one was benefiting from my presence. Possibly the Pharaoh, but that was only because I was something for him to vent his anger on and a source of humor. That was not exactly a fulfilling niche.
" Are you okay?" Ryou asked, leaning over me. " It's almost two in the afternoon and you haven't even asked me what's for lunch."
" Do I look okay?" I asked him in return.
" Not really. You look like something the cat dragged in, after dragging it through the mud and then using it as a scratching post." Ryou said.
" Thank you for that bit of optimism. I feel so much better." I said sarcastically, then rolled over so I couldn't see him. Unfortunately, I could still hear him.
" What's the matter?" he asked.
" Since when did you decide you wanted to be my therapist after all?" I asked irritably.
" You're my yami. We're supposed to be friends. I'm trying to be your friend." Ryou explained patiently, leaning over the back of the couch. I looked up at him.
" Why do I feel like I should tell you?" I asked out loud. Me and my big mouth again.
" We're both getting better." Ryou said, grinning. I heaved a sigh.
" Just go throw the Ring in the trash and end my misery. Please. I'm begging you." I muttered.
" If you wanna commit suicide, then do it yourself. I'm not going to be your accessory." Ryou told me good-naturedly. I rose to my feet and made my way into the kitchen. " Hey, you're finally going to eat?" Ryou asked hopefully. I shook my head and opened a door, pulling out a long knife. It was one of those super-sharp knives you buy to cut things like frozen steak or whatever. " Whoa, what are you doing?" Ryou asked, walking into the kitchen.
" Doing it myself." I said, flashing him a rueful grin. " Sorry I was such a jackass. I won't bug you any more." I promised. The next few minutes consisted of a lot of yelling, one serious scuffle for a very sharp object, and a lot of cuts on both our parts. " What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snarled at Ryou. He only gritted his teeth, curled into a ball, pressed his feet against my chest, and pushed as hard as he could. I lost my grip in the half of the knife handle I had as a result, and was scooted across the kitchen floor. I sat up, gasping and staring at Ryou, who did the same and stared back, the knife clenched tightly in his fist. " What the hell did you just do?" I asked again.
" Saved your dumb life. Not like you deserve it." Ryou gasped.
" Exactly!" I cried, exasperated. " I'm so glad we're in agreement. Can I have the knife back now?" I asked.
" Hell no!" Ryou cried, scooting himself away from me on his butt. I would have laughed if I wasn't so desperate to get that knife.
" No problem. I'll just get another." I said, standing up. There was a clatter as Ryou leapt to his feet, dropped the knife, and tackled me. Ryou isn't very big, but I'm not going to be making the football team any time soon either. But still, he tackled me with enough force to send us both crashing into the cabinets. That resulted in another scuffle, until we both noticed that Ryou had left the original knife unguarded.
" You sorry, ungrateful... tomb robber!" Ryou cried, trying to push me away from the knife, unable to come up with anything else to call me. I clambered over him, not really caring anymore if I hurt him. I just wanted that knife. Unfortunately, he grabbed my leg and hauled me back. I never knew how strong he actually was. Of course, he and I had never actually fought before. I guess he really surprised me.
" I've been called worse, kid!" I cried, jerking my leg out of his grasp.
" Ow!" Ryou cried. I think my heel caught him in the jaw, but I was never really sure. But I do think that because the next thing I knew, I had a bleeding bite mark on my foot.
" Shit! What are you, rabid or something?!" I shrilled at him. He only flashed me a grin.
" Never underestimate the power of the human jaw." He informed me. I made a mad grab for the knife, but Ryou made a savage kick at it that sent it spinning out of both our reach.
" Damn you!" I cried, trying to crawl after it, but Ryou had me around the middle. " Let me go! Can't you see I'm sick of living?!"
" Yeah, I can see that! But I can also see that that's just the easy way out! The coward's way! The weakling's way!" Ryou yelled back. " Quit squirming and listen to reason, will you?!" I did quit squirming. But not because Ryou screamed at me to, because I was thinking very hard right then. Ryou had thrown my own words back at me. Back when I beat him, I would tell him that he was a weakling and I hated weaklings. Now he was telling me that I was being a weakling. I heaved a sigh once again and lay there on the kitchen floor while Ryou got up, picked up the knife, gathered all the knives out of the drawers, and took them to one of his hiding places around the house. I didn't bother to follow him and try to find out where he was hiding them. I didn't have the strength. Ryou finally came back.
" You don't have to baby me. I can take care of myself." I managed to mutter.
" Yeah. I know." Ryou said. There was no sarcasm or mocking in his tone. Only sympathy. He started trying to pull me to my feet.
" Just leave me alone." I begged.
" If there's one thing you really need to learn, aside from how to control your feelings and how to think before you speak, it's that friends don't leave friends lying on the kitchen floor thinking about suicide." Ryou grunted, still trying to lift me up. I weigh a third more than he does, so that wasn't going to happen any time too soon. And I wasn't helping any. I just hung there like dead weight.
" That's a laugh. You think of me as a friend." I muttered, managing a small sardonic laugh.
" Like I said before. You're my yami. We're supposed to be friends." Ryou said through gritted teeth. He finally gave up on trying to lift me up and left. I sighed. So much for not leaving friends on the kitchen floor, I thought sadistically. I closed my eyes and lay there, imagining that I really had used that knife. Then, all of the sudden, something very cold and very wet hit me in the face. I sat bolt upright, blinking and sputtering and coughing. I looked up to see Ryou standing over me with a now empty glass of water and a sad grin.
" You treacherous little..." I sputtered. I didn't finish it.
" Sorry. You need to get up and eat." Ryou said. I stood up and made my way back to the couch.
" I'm not hungry." I lied. Yeah, right. I was starving. I just didn't have the will to actually eat.
" Yeah, I'll bet you aren't. You're already thin as a rail. Now, are you going to eat or am I going to have to force-feed you?" Ryou said, running and getting between me and my destination. I tried to step around him, but he just stepped in my way again. I growled at him, but that didn't work either.
" Ryou, don't push my limits right now." I said slowly.
" I'm sorry." Ryou said, shrugging. " You need to eat. Do I have to call Himeko?" he asked. I stared at him.
" Whatever you do, don't call her. Call Yuki, call Jounouchi, you can even call the stupid Pharaoh for all I care right now, but please do not call her." I begged. The last thing I wanted right then was for Isis to see me like this.
" Then go upstairs, put on a shirt, come back down, eat something, swear to me that you won't try to kill yourself, and I won't call her." Ryou bargained. I nodded.
" Fine." I agreed dully.
*+*+*Ryou*+*+*
I watched my Yami sulk up the stairs and smiled to myself. I know him like the back of my hand, and I knew that he would never think to look under his own bed for the knives. He didn't even look there for his own shoes, much less anything else. I'm probably the best person you'll ever meet at hiding things.
Regardless, I was concerned about him. After that night we went to that dumb ball and I found him sleeping on the back porch, he had been all depressed again. Granted, he spent a lot of his time depressed, but with Machiko running around I had thought he was getting over it. Turned out he had only found something to distract himself. I sighed. I didn't know what to do with him. I knew he needed something to distract himself, but I could remember all to clearly when I was that something, so I wasn't too keen on pushing him too hard. Being a punching bag is not an occupation I want to have permanently.
Having my yami that peaceful was a blessing. I could barely remember the last time I had been so healthy. The only bruise on my body was on my shin, where I had accidentally kicked my desk at school in a rush to get to my next class. I had a full stomach, which, back then, was a miracle I could only dream of. My skin was healthy and not nearly as pale. My hair didn't hang there limply like that of a starved child. I had energy and I felt great. But then again... I hated seeing my yami like he was. It made me feel guilty. At that exact moment, he came stomping down the stairs. I looked up at him.
" You look like a wet, whipped cat." He told me. I looked down at myself.
" I can see where you got the whipped cat part, but wet?" I asked.
" The way your hair's hanging. You look like someone tried to drown you." He explained. I smiled, and chose not to comment on how it wouldn't be the first time someone tried to drown me.
" You look like you've been in a fight with a weed whacker. You also look like you lost." I returned. We were both covered with small cuts, and, judging by the way Bakura was limping, my little bite had hit home. My jaw felt unusually limp where he had kicked me. He managed a small smile.
" Yeah, I probably do." He agreed. " What's for lunch?" he asked. I smiled.
" Stuff yourself first, everything else comes second." I muttered as the phone started ringing. I went to answer it as he started digging through the fridge, mumbling something about not being hungry. I picked up the phone.
" Hi, Ryou." A familiar voice said, after I said hello.
" Dad!" I cried. Bakura poked his head around the fridge door to give me a curious look, which was hilarious because he had a Hershey's Bar sticking out of his mouth. No one knows how funny it is to see my yami eat. I had to struggle not to laugh.
" How are you, son?" my father asked.
" Um, I'm fine." I managed. " How are you?"
" Great. We uncovered a whole new site. This could be big, Ryou." My father exalted. At which point my yami noticed that I was trying not to laugh and made a face at me with a carrot in each hand. I waved at him to knock it off. That just made him stick both carrots in his mouth and act like a walrus.
" That's great, Dad! I bet you'll find something incredible." I said, shaking my fist at Bakura.
" I can only hope, Ryou." My father said with a sigh. I snorted as Bakura stuck an apple in his mouth and made another funny face. " Are you okay, Ryou?"
" Oh, yeah, I'm great. I've got a friend over right now. He's being a pain in the butt." I said, emphasizing the last part.
" That's wonderful, Ryou. How's school?" my father asked, sounding genuinely pleased that I had a "friend" over.
" It's good. I passed that test I was worried about." I said, even though I doubted my father even remembered what test I was talking about.
" Ryou, I've got to go." My father said regretfully. I grimaced.
" I figured you would. It's no big deal." I said. " Just, when are you coming home?"
" I was planning on coming back in a few weeks, but with this new site, it could be another few months." My father said slowly. I turned away from Bakura, so he wouldn't see me blinking back tears.
" That's fine, Dad. They need you." I muttered.
" Ryou, if you want me to-" my father started, but I interrupted him.
" Oh, Dad, there's a beep and I don't want to hike the phone bill. Can I talk to you later?" I asked.
" I guess so. Goodbye." He said sadly.
" Bye!" I said cheerfully, then hung up the phone.
" Well?" Bakura asked.
" We don't have to worry about explaining you for another few months." I said.
" I thought you had someone on the other line." Bakura said, pointing at the phone.
" I lied. I didn't want to listen to him apologize." I muttered. Bakura watched me.
" And you said I had a problem." He murmured.
" I know." I said, forcing a smile that was too bright. " We're just falling apart."
A/N: Okay, that was pretty pointless. v_v Again. I promise I'm going somewhere with this. At least, I think I am. (sigh) Suggestions are welcome. And constructive criticism too. (glare at DT, RF's little brother) Stupid little brother and his friends kept me up all night. I'm functioning on two hours sleep. Oh well. Bye-bye, I'm going to bed.
By: Rogue Fox
Part Thirteen... Falling Apart
A/N: Hey, all. First off, I want to thank all the wonderful reviewers that I haven't been able to e-mail personally and thank. If you guys leave your e-mail addresses, it's my practice to thank each one of you personally. But since some of you don't, I have to thank you like this. Anyway, someone attempts suicide in this part, so if you're offended by that, don't read it. ^_^ Arigato and sayonara!
*+*+*Himeko*+*+*
I looked outside the door to my room, checking the hallway. I decided that no one was nearby and turned back into my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I knew Yugi was at Anzu's house, and Ammon had called to me ten minutes ago to inform me that he was going for a drive around town. Grandpa was at the shop, but I still checked around. A nervous habit. I hummed to myself to warm up my voice.
I love to sing. I sung all sorts of songs since my early childhood. I've been singing since before I can remember. I never sang in front of anyone, except for Ammon, once. And he had told me I had a beautiful voice. I never even sang for Nen. I cleared my throat and sang an old Egyptian lullaby to myself, to help warm up. Finally, I stood there in my room, shifting from foot to foot, trying to decide what to sing. I finally settled on an American song called "Reflection." I took a deep breath and glanced around myself one last time. I knew once I started, I would leave this world behind until the end of the song.
" Look at me. You may think you see who I really am, But you'll never know me. Ev'ry day, it's as if I play a part. Now I see, That if I wear a mask I can fool the world, But I cannot fool my heart.
Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
I am now... In a world where I have to hide my heart. And what I believe in. But somehow... I will show the world who I am really am, What's inside my heart, And be loved for who I am.
Who is that girl I see, Staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly, That burns with the need to know the reason why Why must we all conceal what we think, How we feel? Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time. When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show Who I am inside..."
I sighed. And then, I heard the sound of someone clearing their voice. I wheeled around to see a young man, about my age, with chin length black hair tucked behind his ears and vibrant green eyes. He was wearing a black tee-shirt and a black pair of extremely baggy jeans.
" Who are you?!" I shrilled, hurling a book I snatched off my desk in his direction. He ducked out of the way.
" My name's Zack! I'm looking for Yuki Motou!" he cried as I threw my hairbrush.
" Who gave you the right to just come barging in?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
" The door was unlocked and no one answered when I knocked! I could hear you singing, so I-" he tried to explain, but I cut him off.
" So you just came right on in and thought you'd scare me to death!" I screeched.
" I didn't mean to! I just want to talk to Yuki!" the guy cried helplessly. I stopped throwing things at him.
" What do you want with Yuki?" I asked suspiciously.
" What does it matter to you?" he asked haughtily in return.
" She's my little sister." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. He stared at me like I was crazy.
" Yuki doesn't have a big sister." He said in disbelief.
" Look, buddy, I don't have a clue who you are, but I guarantee that Yuki Motou is my little sister." I said crossly.
" Looks like she had more than a name change." The guy muttered, looking down at a slip of paper. " Look, I just want to talk to her, okay?"
" Why?" I asked.
" Is that any of your business?" he shot back.
" You can bet your scrawny ass it is, and when my big brother gets back, he's going to flame broil that ass of yours." I said, cocking an eyebrow.
" Another brother, too?!" the guy asked.
" And then you get to deal with my little brother, Yugi. He's pretty protective too." I added gleefully.
" Can I please talk to Yuki?" the guy begged.
" She doesn't live here." I said.
" What? But this is the only address for 'Motou' the phone book had." He protested.
" She doesn't live with us. She lives with her best friend." I said.
" Can you tell me where that is?" he asked, his shoulders sagging visibly.
" Why should I?" I asked. He looked up at me sharply.
" Because I haven't seen her in like seven months and I'm worried about her!" he cried.
" Oh, you must be one of her old friends from America." I said softly. " Sorry." Now, cruising through Yuki's memory, I could recall his face. Zack, that was his name.
" Whatever. Can you just please tell me where Yuki is?" he asked desperately.
" Hey, Himeko! I brought you those books you wanted to borrow!" Yuki called from down stairs. Zack's already pale face paled considerably more.
" Okay! There's someone up here who wants to see you!" I called back, tromping down the stairs. Zack stayed behind, frozen.
" Really? Who?" Yuki asked as I met her at the bottom of the stairs. She handed me a bag, which I gently set down next to the stairs.
" Come on up and see." I said enticingly. Yuki shrugged and lead the way up the stairs. She gasped just as she got to the top.
" Oh my God! Zack!" she squealed in delight, running over and leaping into his arms. I grinned at him over her shoulder. I could remember Yuki used to have a crush on this guy.
" Yuki! You haven't changed at all!" Zack cried.
" When'd you get here? How's everyone back home? Tell me!" Yuki cried, hopping up and down like she only did when she was uncontrollably excited. I was a little worried she might forget herself and have a power surge.
" I got here just this morning." Zack said, settling his hands on Yuki's shoulders, trying to get her to be still. Yuki grinned up at him like an idiot. " And everyone is just fine. Sarah and Kristina want me to tell you they miss you a bunch, and that they hope you're not too homesick. And then, Beth and Aaron and BJ and Benji and Jessica and Cody and all the rest also want me to tell you that they miss you."
" That's not enough! You've got to tell me everything!" Yuki cried, hugging him tightly. " Did Matt get valedictorian, or did Ashley?"
" They finally called it a draw and they both got it." Matt explained. " They gave a great speech at their graduation ceremony, too! I was sad to see them go."
" Maybe you two would like to get more comfortable rather than stand there in the hallway." I interrupted.
" Oh, okay." Yuki said, grinning at me happily. I was glad to see her like this. Seto had been right, she had been acting pale and sickly lately. This might be just what the doctor ordered, I thought. It was easy for me to follow their conversation because I could see all the people they were talking about from Yuki's memory.
" And Lauren got the female lead in a real play at a real theatre. It was Hamlet, no less!" Zak explained. Yuki squealed.
" You mean she was Ophelia?" she asked. " Oh, I know she must have done that part great!"
" She did. I brought a video tape of the performance." Zak said. " And let's see..." They went on like that until Ammon came home. Ammon was slightly suspicious, but both Yuki and I assured him that Zack was just a visiting friend. I got sick of listening to them after a while and left the house. Ammon couldn't have cared less one way or the other, so I just started walking around. I like to walk. Cars are fine, but you can explore more on foot. I started humming to myself as I walked. I found myself cruising through the mall, looking at odds and ends.
I saw a painting in an art gallery of a young couple sitting on the banks of a river. They looked so happy. I could remember being that happy. I looked away from the picture sharply. Sharp anger rose in my throat. I can't believe this, I thought to myself, am I actually jealous of Yuki? Yes, I was. She was sweet and gentle. She had those big, adorable eyes. She was carefree and happy. There was nothing holding her back. She didn't have the guilt of broken promises on her heart. I know she had plenty of problems to make up for all that, but still... I missed being like her. Tepe had made me so happy, but Nen also did. But as Tepe had said, Nen was gone and he was here. But I hadn't forgotten...
*+*+*Himeko Flashback*+*+*
I watched Yuki and Yugi retreat into the dark void that had appeared behind them. Ammon's hand on my shoulder as all that kept me from running after her. She was my light, my other half. Didn't I need her to survive? She could survive without me, I knew that, but could I survive without her? Ammon took his hand off my shoulder after the void disappeared and took my hand.
" It's time for us to go." He said. He pulled me into a waiting light that had appeared without my knowing it...
The next thing I knew, I was standing in a world that was void of all unhappiness and all pain. And standing there, waiting for me, was everyone I had known. There was my father, my mother, and all their ancestors that had come before them. There was Nuru and Eshe and Tenok and Mariah... and Nen. Ammon and I ran at them. I screamed with joy as Nen gathered me up in his arms and held me close.
" You seem sad." I said to him what seemed like only seconds later, but it might have been hours or days or months or even years. Time doesn't pass like it does here in that place.
" Sadness is not something I am used to feeling here." Nen said slowly.
" How can you possibly be sad?" I asked, leaning against his shoulder as we sat at the foot of a huge tree I had no name for. Instead of leaves, it was covered in beautiful dark blue blossoms that smelled sweeter than anything you could find on the mortal plane.
" Because I know you have not come to stay." Nen said. I sat up suddenly, feeling guilty.
" She needs me, Nen." I murmured. He didn't need to ask who.
" You haven't found everything you were hoping to find here, have you? You were looking for That Boy." Nen said, snarling a little at his slur of a name for Tepe.
" Yes, Nen, I was." I admitted. " And I didn't find him."
" I don't think he would have been allowed on this plane." Nen growled.
" You keep acting like this and you'll no longer be allowed on this plane! Nen, regardless of him, I have to go back. Yuki is my light, my... my daughter. I need her and she needs me." I explained. Nen sighed.
" Then you should go." He said softly.
*+*+*Present*+*+*
I shook my head. I could have stayed in that paradise. But Yuki needed me. She still needed me. And Tepe... I had thought he was dead. I could almost taste the salt of the tears I had cried when I had been shown his body. But that hadn't been his body. Then whose was it? So many shadows surrounding my past... There were still so many things I couldn't remember. I put my hands to my head, which was beginning to pound. Why couldn't I remember? There was something I was supposed to remember, but I couldn't quite get it... I all but ran out of the art gallery, searching for a food court booth that sold ice cream. By Ra, I needed sugar.
*+*+*Yami Bakura*+*+*
I was beginning to wonder about the purpose of my existence on this plane. Morning found me, not for the first time, shirtless on the couch trying to find the energy and motivation to feed myself. And instead of griping at me to get off my lazy butt, Ryou was concerned. I marveled at his ability to do that. Here I was, his tormenter, the one who had made his life a living hell, and he was actually concerned about me? I would have laughed if I weren't so busy trying to keep from crying.
I could not figure out what I hated more. This weakness I felt inside me, or the fact that as far as I could see, I had no purpose aside from causing people pain. I finally decided it was the latter. No one was benefiting from my presence. Possibly the Pharaoh, but that was only because I was something for him to vent his anger on and a source of humor. That was not exactly a fulfilling niche.
" Are you okay?" Ryou asked, leaning over me. " It's almost two in the afternoon and you haven't even asked me what's for lunch."
" Do I look okay?" I asked him in return.
" Not really. You look like something the cat dragged in, after dragging it through the mud and then using it as a scratching post." Ryou said.
" Thank you for that bit of optimism. I feel so much better." I said sarcastically, then rolled over so I couldn't see him. Unfortunately, I could still hear him.
" What's the matter?" he asked.
" Since when did you decide you wanted to be my therapist after all?" I asked irritably.
" You're my yami. We're supposed to be friends. I'm trying to be your friend." Ryou explained patiently, leaning over the back of the couch. I looked up at him.
" Why do I feel like I should tell you?" I asked out loud. Me and my big mouth again.
" We're both getting better." Ryou said, grinning. I heaved a sigh.
" Just go throw the Ring in the trash and end my misery. Please. I'm begging you." I muttered.
" If you wanna commit suicide, then do it yourself. I'm not going to be your accessory." Ryou told me good-naturedly. I rose to my feet and made my way into the kitchen. " Hey, you're finally going to eat?" Ryou asked hopefully. I shook my head and opened a door, pulling out a long knife. It was one of those super-sharp knives you buy to cut things like frozen steak or whatever. " Whoa, what are you doing?" Ryou asked, walking into the kitchen.
" Doing it myself." I said, flashing him a rueful grin. " Sorry I was such a jackass. I won't bug you any more." I promised. The next few minutes consisted of a lot of yelling, one serious scuffle for a very sharp object, and a lot of cuts on both our parts. " What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snarled at Ryou. He only gritted his teeth, curled into a ball, pressed his feet against my chest, and pushed as hard as he could. I lost my grip in the half of the knife handle I had as a result, and was scooted across the kitchen floor. I sat up, gasping and staring at Ryou, who did the same and stared back, the knife clenched tightly in his fist. " What the hell did you just do?" I asked again.
" Saved your dumb life. Not like you deserve it." Ryou gasped.
" Exactly!" I cried, exasperated. " I'm so glad we're in agreement. Can I have the knife back now?" I asked.
" Hell no!" Ryou cried, scooting himself away from me on his butt. I would have laughed if I wasn't so desperate to get that knife.
" No problem. I'll just get another." I said, standing up. There was a clatter as Ryou leapt to his feet, dropped the knife, and tackled me. Ryou isn't very big, but I'm not going to be making the football team any time soon either. But still, he tackled me with enough force to send us both crashing into the cabinets. That resulted in another scuffle, until we both noticed that Ryou had left the original knife unguarded.
" You sorry, ungrateful... tomb robber!" Ryou cried, trying to push me away from the knife, unable to come up with anything else to call me. I clambered over him, not really caring anymore if I hurt him. I just wanted that knife. Unfortunately, he grabbed my leg and hauled me back. I never knew how strong he actually was. Of course, he and I had never actually fought before. I guess he really surprised me.
" I've been called worse, kid!" I cried, jerking my leg out of his grasp.
" Ow!" Ryou cried. I think my heel caught him in the jaw, but I was never really sure. But I do think that because the next thing I knew, I had a bleeding bite mark on my foot.
" Shit! What are you, rabid or something?!" I shrilled at him. He only flashed me a grin.
" Never underestimate the power of the human jaw." He informed me. I made a mad grab for the knife, but Ryou made a savage kick at it that sent it spinning out of both our reach.
" Damn you!" I cried, trying to crawl after it, but Ryou had me around the middle. " Let me go! Can't you see I'm sick of living?!"
" Yeah, I can see that! But I can also see that that's just the easy way out! The coward's way! The weakling's way!" Ryou yelled back. " Quit squirming and listen to reason, will you?!" I did quit squirming. But not because Ryou screamed at me to, because I was thinking very hard right then. Ryou had thrown my own words back at me. Back when I beat him, I would tell him that he was a weakling and I hated weaklings. Now he was telling me that I was being a weakling. I heaved a sigh once again and lay there on the kitchen floor while Ryou got up, picked up the knife, gathered all the knives out of the drawers, and took them to one of his hiding places around the house. I didn't bother to follow him and try to find out where he was hiding them. I didn't have the strength. Ryou finally came back.
" You don't have to baby me. I can take care of myself." I managed to mutter.
" Yeah. I know." Ryou said. There was no sarcasm or mocking in his tone. Only sympathy. He started trying to pull me to my feet.
" Just leave me alone." I begged.
" If there's one thing you really need to learn, aside from how to control your feelings and how to think before you speak, it's that friends don't leave friends lying on the kitchen floor thinking about suicide." Ryou grunted, still trying to lift me up. I weigh a third more than he does, so that wasn't going to happen any time too soon. And I wasn't helping any. I just hung there like dead weight.
" That's a laugh. You think of me as a friend." I muttered, managing a small sardonic laugh.
" Like I said before. You're my yami. We're supposed to be friends." Ryou said through gritted teeth. He finally gave up on trying to lift me up and left. I sighed. So much for not leaving friends on the kitchen floor, I thought sadistically. I closed my eyes and lay there, imagining that I really had used that knife. Then, all of the sudden, something very cold and very wet hit me in the face. I sat bolt upright, blinking and sputtering and coughing. I looked up to see Ryou standing over me with a now empty glass of water and a sad grin.
" You treacherous little..." I sputtered. I didn't finish it.
" Sorry. You need to get up and eat." Ryou said. I stood up and made my way back to the couch.
" I'm not hungry." I lied. Yeah, right. I was starving. I just didn't have the will to actually eat.
" Yeah, I'll bet you aren't. You're already thin as a rail. Now, are you going to eat or am I going to have to force-feed you?" Ryou said, running and getting between me and my destination. I tried to step around him, but he just stepped in my way again. I growled at him, but that didn't work either.
" Ryou, don't push my limits right now." I said slowly.
" I'm sorry." Ryou said, shrugging. " You need to eat. Do I have to call Himeko?" he asked. I stared at him.
" Whatever you do, don't call her. Call Yuki, call Jounouchi, you can even call the stupid Pharaoh for all I care right now, but please do not call her." I begged. The last thing I wanted right then was for Isis to see me like this.
" Then go upstairs, put on a shirt, come back down, eat something, swear to me that you won't try to kill yourself, and I won't call her." Ryou bargained. I nodded.
" Fine." I agreed dully.
*+*+*Ryou*+*+*
I watched my Yami sulk up the stairs and smiled to myself. I know him like the back of my hand, and I knew that he would never think to look under his own bed for the knives. He didn't even look there for his own shoes, much less anything else. I'm probably the best person you'll ever meet at hiding things.
Regardless, I was concerned about him. After that night we went to that dumb ball and I found him sleeping on the back porch, he had been all depressed again. Granted, he spent a lot of his time depressed, but with Machiko running around I had thought he was getting over it. Turned out he had only found something to distract himself. I sighed. I didn't know what to do with him. I knew he needed something to distract himself, but I could remember all to clearly when I was that something, so I wasn't too keen on pushing him too hard. Being a punching bag is not an occupation I want to have permanently.
Having my yami that peaceful was a blessing. I could barely remember the last time I had been so healthy. The only bruise on my body was on my shin, where I had accidentally kicked my desk at school in a rush to get to my next class. I had a full stomach, which, back then, was a miracle I could only dream of. My skin was healthy and not nearly as pale. My hair didn't hang there limply like that of a starved child. I had energy and I felt great. But then again... I hated seeing my yami like he was. It made me feel guilty. At that exact moment, he came stomping down the stairs. I looked up at him.
" You look like a wet, whipped cat." He told me. I looked down at myself.
" I can see where you got the whipped cat part, but wet?" I asked.
" The way your hair's hanging. You look like someone tried to drown you." He explained. I smiled, and chose not to comment on how it wouldn't be the first time someone tried to drown me.
" You look like you've been in a fight with a weed whacker. You also look like you lost." I returned. We were both covered with small cuts, and, judging by the way Bakura was limping, my little bite had hit home. My jaw felt unusually limp where he had kicked me. He managed a small smile.
" Yeah, I probably do." He agreed. " What's for lunch?" he asked. I smiled.
" Stuff yourself first, everything else comes second." I muttered as the phone started ringing. I went to answer it as he started digging through the fridge, mumbling something about not being hungry. I picked up the phone.
" Hi, Ryou." A familiar voice said, after I said hello.
" Dad!" I cried. Bakura poked his head around the fridge door to give me a curious look, which was hilarious because he had a Hershey's Bar sticking out of his mouth. No one knows how funny it is to see my yami eat. I had to struggle not to laugh.
" How are you, son?" my father asked.
" Um, I'm fine." I managed. " How are you?"
" Great. We uncovered a whole new site. This could be big, Ryou." My father exalted. At which point my yami noticed that I was trying not to laugh and made a face at me with a carrot in each hand. I waved at him to knock it off. That just made him stick both carrots in his mouth and act like a walrus.
" That's great, Dad! I bet you'll find something incredible." I said, shaking my fist at Bakura.
" I can only hope, Ryou." My father said with a sigh. I snorted as Bakura stuck an apple in his mouth and made another funny face. " Are you okay, Ryou?"
" Oh, yeah, I'm great. I've got a friend over right now. He's being a pain in the butt." I said, emphasizing the last part.
" That's wonderful, Ryou. How's school?" my father asked, sounding genuinely pleased that I had a "friend" over.
" It's good. I passed that test I was worried about." I said, even though I doubted my father even remembered what test I was talking about.
" Ryou, I've got to go." My father said regretfully. I grimaced.
" I figured you would. It's no big deal." I said. " Just, when are you coming home?"
" I was planning on coming back in a few weeks, but with this new site, it could be another few months." My father said slowly. I turned away from Bakura, so he wouldn't see me blinking back tears.
" That's fine, Dad. They need you." I muttered.
" Ryou, if you want me to-" my father started, but I interrupted him.
" Oh, Dad, there's a beep and I don't want to hike the phone bill. Can I talk to you later?" I asked.
" I guess so. Goodbye." He said sadly.
" Bye!" I said cheerfully, then hung up the phone.
" Well?" Bakura asked.
" We don't have to worry about explaining you for another few months." I said.
" I thought you had someone on the other line." Bakura said, pointing at the phone.
" I lied. I didn't want to listen to him apologize." I muttered. Bakura watched me.
" And you said I had a problem." He murmured.
" I know." I said, forcing a smile that was too bright. " We're just falling apart."
A/N: Okay, that was pretty pointless. v_v Again. I promise I'm going somewhere with this. At least, I think I am. (sigh) Suggestions are welcome. And constructive criticism too. (glare at DT, RF's little brother) Stupid little brother and his friends kept me up all night. I'm functioning on two hours sleep. Oh well. Bye-bye, I'm going to bed.