The Game of Life
By: Rogue Fox
Part Twenty-Five... I'm Sorry
A/N: And because it's been so long, you get a double helping. Sorry. v_v RF is a bad authoress...
*+*+*Seto*+*+*
I almost cried when I saw her, asleep on the Motou couch. She looked so thin and frail. So tired. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a mess, she looked like she hadn't slept in a month, her skin was sickly pale, her frame frighteningly thin, but somehow, I thought she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Next to me, Himeko heaved a sigh.
" As though she didn't already have enough problems, now Bakura's gone and caused even more." She said. I could hear the barely concealed anger in her voice. " Listen, we'll keep Charity here tonight. It won't kill me and Yami and Yugi to get up and take care of her. Yuki deserves a full night's sleep." I smiled at her gratefully.
" Thanks." I said. Himeko shrugged as Grandpa Motou walked in.
" Get that girl home and to bed." He instructed me. I figured he must have still been mad, and he was probably upset at me for allowing them to run off. Apparently, though, the punishment hadn't been too harsh.
" Did she ever go to the doctor like I told her to? I made the appointment." I asked him. He nodded.
" Yes, I took her." He answered.
" And?" I prodded. Grandpa Motou shook his head.
" And, they said she's just anemic. They want her to take some medications that'll cost a small fortune to keep her awake." He said.
" And you don't think they're right." I finished for him. Himeko shook her head.
" I can tell you for a fact that Yuki is not anemic." She said. " I ought to know." She added ruefully. " But there is something wrong. At first I thought she was just losing her appetite like all girls do about this age, but this... this has gone too far."
" She'll be fine." Grandpa Motou promised us. Himeko shook her head again.
" I'm her yami, Gramps. If anyone knows her, I do. I feel her emotions, her thoughts, her pain." She reminded him sadly. " She's hurting, Gramps, Seto. She's hurting, almost all the time. She's so tired, she can barely walk. She doesn't tell us, even me, because she doesn't want us to worry. But, well, damn it. You'd have to be a fool not to see it."
" Watch your mouth." Grandpa Motou said automatically, making Himeko smile. Then he looked at me. " Take her home. Make sure she gets plenty of rest." I nodded, leaning down and picking her up. She shifted in my arms, alarmingly light.
" Seto?" she asked groggily, her red-violet eyes peering tiredly up at me.
" Go back to sleep." I told her softly. She nodded, sighed, and pressed her face to my chest.
" I'm so tired..." she muttered. I cast a worried glance at Himeko, who gave me a helpless look. Suddenly, Yuki's body went stiff. " Charity!" she cried in dismay. " I was watching her and I fell asleep!" she wailed, kicking her legs to be put down. I tightened my grip and refused. As he came down the stairs, Yami cast us an amused look.
" Himeko, Yugi, Yami, and Grandpa are going to watch her tonight. Relax." I said sternly. Yuki reluctantly went limp in my arms again, allowing me to carry her out into the sunlight and to the limo. I didn't want her to be sick. I wished against it with all my heart and soul. I needed her, more than I'd ever needed anything before. But Himeko was right, and I realized it as Yuki fell asleep in my arms on the way home. This had gone too far.
*+*+*Malik*+*+*
I watched Isis as she spoke into the phone out of the corner of my eye. The rest of my vision was trained on Ryou. I didn't want to look like I was eavesdropping. My yami had his upper half slung out the window of the hospital room, smoking one of his awful cancer sticks.
" Yes, Pharaoh... No, he hasn't... They said they can't do anything more until he wakes up... No... He's in the room with us... Smoking a cigarette... With all due respect, Pharaoh, tell him yourself..." Isis laughed suddenly, and I couldn't help but notice the way her face lit up. My yami looked into the room, blowing out a cloud of smoke.
" Pharaoh can bite himself." He said in his strange, broken way, drifting between Egyptian and Arabian. Isis glared at him.
" I'm not your messenger." She snapped. " My apologies, Pharaoh, I was speaking to my brother's yami... Alright. See you soon." She hung up the phone and looked at me. " They can't come down tonight." She announced. I looked at her fully.
" Why? Did they get in that much trouble?" I asked. Isis, my solemn sister, actually smiled humorously.
" No, not at all. The Pharaoh said they only got yelled at. But Yuki collapsed again, and they're watching the baby for her so she can get some rest." She explained.
" Oh." I muttered, looking back to Ryou. He still seemed okay, breathing evenly and looking angelically peaceful. But I wanted him to wake up. I felt Isis rest her hands on my shoulders.
" He'll be fine." She told me.
" I hope so." I muttered.
" I wonder where Bakura is." Isis wondered. My yami laughed suddenly, tossing his cigarette to the ground, two stories below.
" Tomb robber is staring at bottom bottle that broke into many, many pieces like hard heart." He said. Images flashed across his mind, all too open for me to see. Isis looked to me for the translation.
" Bakura's looking at the bottom of a beer bottle that broke into a thousand pieces, like his own heart." I said. Isis nodded.
" Pain in soul. Soul is bleeding, and no Band-Aid." My yami continued, looking back out the window. " Broke the pretty mirror into little parts, because cannot look at own face, and now hand is bleeding like soul."
" There's a hurt in his heart that he can't fix. He broke a mirror... what does that have to do with anything?" I cocked my head as my yami gave me a look that said figure it out, dummy. " Ryou." I realized suddenly. " Ryou is Bakura's mirror, and Bakura broke him. Because he couldn't bear to look at himself through Ryou." I elaborated. Isis shrugged, but my yami, pleased with me, nodded. " And now he hurts because he injured Ryou, right?" I asked. Again, my yami nodded. I was the only one who could understand him.
" There is afraid. Fear of trying to pick up broken mirror, that hand will bleed like red river when shattered glass turns." He said.
" Bakura's afraid that if he tries to make amends with Ryou, Ryou'll reject him." I explained. After that, my yami seemed to be out of things to say. " I guess he feels like we all hate him."
" Well, some of us certainly seem to have a reason to." Isis said, nodding to Ryou.
" Ryou doesn't hate him. He just pities him." I protested, surprising myself. Isis seemed surprised as well, but she didn't question me.
" It must be a hikari thing." She said with a sigh. I shook my head.
" No. It's a Ryou thing." I corrected her. " I have trouble getting along with my own yami when he's nice." I added. Right on cue, my yami turned his head to stick his tongue out at me.
" Hikaris strange little things." He said. " Malik even stranger." He added with triumphant tone.
" You're one to talk." I shot back. He shrugged and tapped his head.
" Thinking is different. Not wrong. Just different." He reminded me. There was nothing wrong with my yami, really. He just had some odd ideas. He explained it to me once in sequences of images he relayed to my mind. People think in a certain sequence. They pick up the world around them through their senses, then they process the information, determine the best course of action, and then take that course. Most insane people's thinking gets screwed up in the processing stage, or when they're choosing the best action. Not my yami's. He's fine until he gets to the executing stage. For some reason, he's unable to take the action he chooses. It's better than the way he was before, when the entire process was screwed up for us both. That's why his speech is so weird, though. Since I can see his thoughts, it's easy for me to see what he's trying to say. But because he's forced to express himself in a manner most people associate with loonies, he became a loony because he was so labeled. It's a psychological thing. We become what people label us as. His thinking is warped, and I might be a little warped because of the bond we share, but his intentions are good. He only wants what's best for me and Isis. He wasn't always like that, but I'm glad he is. He's so much more pleasant when he isn't bent on the destruction of humanity.
Ryou woke up the next day, complaining of a headache. I could have cried when they told us he was going to be fine, but I didn't. Ryou stayed with us at our apartment, sharing my room, after he got out of the hospital. For a few weeks, things went back to normal. Finals got steadily closer, Yami and Himeko fought more, Charity started teething, and Yuki collapsed three more times in school. Several times Isis brought Charity home with her to help lighten poor Yuki's load, but the exhaustion never seemed to lift from her face. She wore years on her frame that she hadn't yet earned. Ryuuji even stopped with his practical jokes (I think that has a lot to do with the fact that all four yamis ganged up on him and threatened him with his soul, life, and sanity). I noticed that my yami seemed to have become good friends with Himeko, and Bakura - before he disappeared - was regular part of their little group. Even Yami Yugi joined them. But Himeko seemed to confide in my yami. And that's where my little side adventure began.
I'm still not sure how they talked me into it, but somehow they did. I do know that one night, when my yami and I were sleeping over at the Kaiba Mansion and Himeko happened to be there, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. We were sleeping in the living room, and Himeko was with us. She cradled me like a child and sang old Egyptian lullabies that tugged at those few faded memories I had of my mother. The next morning I mentioned it to her and told her that people paid to hear talented singers like her. I don't think it was the promise of money that got her going. I think it was the chance to see if she was good enough to perform. So she spoke to my yami about it, and he dragged me into it, and that's how I found myself leaning against Himeko's dressing room door. Her brother didn't know where we were. He thought my yami and I were at home with Isis, who thought we were sleeping at the Kaiba Mansion again. Kaiba and Yuki thought we were home, and Himeko was at the Motou house. The Motous, in turn, thought Himeko was at the Kaiba residence. In reality, we were in a nightclub, and Himeko was nervously preparing for her first public performance.
" Are you ready yet?" I called, checking my watch nervously. She was supposed to perform at eleven sharp. It was five minutes till. Next time I was going to insist we bring Ryou, so I'd at least have someone to talk to, and someone to help me make her hurry.
" I can't do this!" she cried, terror in her voice. How odd. This was a woman who had stared death in the face and grappled with pure evil. And something as small as a performance at a nightclub was shaking her up?
" Sure you can. You sing to Charity. You sing to me and my yami. You sing for your brothers. Why not these people?" I asked.
" That's different! I know you guys!" Himeko cried.
" You're never going to see these people again, in all likelyhood, and most of them are drunk. You'll sound great to them if you gargle salt water. I think that's a lot less scary than singing for someone I know." I said calmly, in Egyptian. " Besides, the manager's paying you a nice sum for you to sing here. He thinks you're good, I think you're good. Hell, Princess, I know you're good. So does everyone else who's heard you. Now will you please get out here? The stage manager dude is about to shove his clipboard down my throat." Which was true. He was totally cussing me out in Japanese, and I didn't know all the words he was using. But I could remember them and find out what they meant later. He didn't like that I was talking to his performer in a language he didn't understand. He'd just have to get used to it.
" Fine, I'm coming out." Himeko grumbled, in Japanese, and stepped out. She looked nice. Very sexy, if her exotic beauty is what you go for. She was wearing a black see-through duster that brushed the floor over a black spaghetti strap dress that came down to her upper thigh. Her bright red- violet eyes glimmered. She was wearing make-up, which was something she didn't make a habit of. Her skin was golden, reminiscent of her old glory. Her head was held high, her shoulders back. She looked every bit as royal as her brother ever did. " Well, how do I look?" she asked.
" Beautiful. Sexy. Hot. Amazing. Fantastic. Breath-taking. Stunning." I said. " Did I miss anything?"
" Perfect. You forgot perfect." She said, smiling at me.
" Perfect." I added. My yami approached, a murderous look in his eye. He relayed a series of images involving the sleazy manager of the club threatening to turn Himeko's performance into something less than honorable. Then he sent me an image that he had made up, about tearing the manager's throat out. I got the message. Nobody threatens my yami's precious princess. Himeko seemed to be included in the movie reel, because she laughed.
" Let him. I don't care. I'll just blow the whole joint up." She said. Great. I was stuck with two homicidal yamis, and now they were kamikaze on top of it all. I checked my watch again. I was used to yamis.
" It's time." I said unceremoniously. The stage manager was back.
" You've got your music?" he asked. Himeko held up a karaoke CD and the manager took it.
" It's track four." Himeko said, anxiousness in her voice. " 'Don't Let Me Get Me,' by Pink." She had decided to sing karaoke as opposed to singing something she had written. Besides, Yami Yugi was writing music to go with her songs. Why push it?
" Fine. I'll have you announced, and then you go out and sing. Just like we rehearsed." The stage manager said. Himeko nodded. I could see the creases of worry on her face.
" It'll be fine." I said.
" But what if I totally suck?" she asked.
" You won't." I said solidly.
" But-" Himeko began.
" But me no buts." My yami interrupted. I smiled. I loved Shakespeare. My yami, in turn, liked it as well. And we were both fond of quoting it.
" And now, a vision of beauty in both voice and appearance from the exotic land of Egypt, Princess Isis!" the announcer cried suddenly. I smiled and gave her a gentle shove. There was a polite applause as she stepped onto the stage. They were applauding now. They'd be screaming for more once she'd actually sang. The music began, and Himeko flashed us an uncertain look. We both mouthed the word for "sing" in Egyptian. She turned back to her audience, and even though we were watching her from behind, her entire posture changed. She became strong and confident, a born performer. And then her voice echoed out over the club, clear as a bell, strong and perfectly tuned. Her tone was defiant, yet somehow pleading as well.
" I never win first place, I don't support the team. I can't take directions, and my socks are never clean.
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me. I was always in a fight, cause I can't do nothin' right.
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror... I can't take the person staring back at me.
Cause I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy. It's bad when you annoy yourself, so irritating. Don't wanna be my friend no more, I wanna be somebody else.
L.A. told me, 'You'll be a popstar, all you have to change... is everything you are.
Tired of being compared to damn Brittney Spears. She's so pretty, that just ain't me.
So doctor doctor, won't you please prescribe me something? A day in the life of someone else...
Cause I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy. It's bad when you annoy yourself, so irritating. Don't wanna be my friend no more, I wanna be somebody else."
She fell into a repeat of the chorus, but the audience was already applauding. They were hooting and hollering, and few were catcalling. She was a hit.
Himeko had only begun. She began to perform on a regular basis, usually with my yami nearby, at random nightclubs. Anyone that would let her on their stage found she was a crowd pleaser. She loved the audience, and they loved her. She made them happy when she sang about joy, sad when she sang of sorrow, and romantic when she sang of love. Her voice was her medium. Where my yami and I were visual, she was vocal. And she was good.
Ryou made a full recovery. One couldn't even tell he'd ever been hurt, except for the greenish remnants of a bruise under his eye, and a pink scar on his arm. But he was fine. He had a high threshold for pain, and he healed unusually fast.
It was a Friday afternoon. It had been my last day of school, but the others had another week. Lucky me. Ryou was with me, and we were walking down the street to the apartment where I lived with Isis and my yami. He was telling me about how Kaiba and Honda were fighting constantly, and how their spats had gotten violent. I smiled suddenly and laughed.
" What?" Ryou asked.
" I bet I know what they're fighting about." I said.
" Well, are you going to tell me?" Ryou asked impatiently. I smiled.
" Yeah, I guess." I said. " Honda likes Yuki, right?" I waited while Ryou nodded. " And how long has Kaiba been her best friend?"
" Wow, years. I don't even know. Since they were kids." Ryou told me. Then he looked up at me, taller than him by about six inches. " No way. You don't think they're fighting over Yuki?" he asked incredulously.
" Makes sense, doesn't it?" I asked in response as we continued along.
" It does." Ryou agreed. " Wow. Kaiba doesn't seem like the type."
" He does seem like the type who will do anything for the people he cares about." I reminded him.
" I guess." He sighed. " Hey, Himeko sang last night, didn't she? How'd she do?" he asked suddenly. I smiled. I'd told Ryou about Himeko's mounting fame.
" Well, I wasn't there, but from what I saw in my yami's memory, she got a standing ovation." I told him. Ryou knew how good she was. He'd gone with us a few times. I cocked my head thoughtfully. " My yami really likes her a lot. Not that way, but... It's kind of strange. He barely even lets me touch her. He goes crazy when someone else does."
" Your yami lived in Egypt back then. She was his Princess. Maybe that has something to do with it." Ryou suggested.
" Or maybe it's more secrets." I said darkly. I hate secrets.
" He doesn't even let Yami near her. Yugi's yami, I mean. And he's her twin brother." Ryou noted. I shrugged.
" He's protective. We both know that." I said. " By the way, how's Yuki?"
" She wasn't at school today. Kaiba said she collapsed again this morning, so he sent her to bed with strict orders not to get up for any reason." Ryou said, laughing sadly. " We all know she won't listen." He added. " I'm worried. When I met Yuki, she was really tough. Nothing got to her. She summoned the Key the first time and she got up right after that and walked away. Now she has trouble getting up in the morning."
" You think it's got something to do with the Key?" I asked. Ryou shrugged.
" How can we know? No one's ever summoned it before, so we have no clue." He said. " There is something wrong, though."
" I don't want her to die. I just met her, and I don't want her to die." I said.
" Don't be dramatic." Ryou told me, but I saw the worry etch over his face. " She's not going to die."
" She's not a yami, Ryou. She's mortal. She can die." I reminded him.
" I'd rather not think about it." Ryou said. But the fact remained. We were all thinking about it. But Ryou is sensitive about death, so I dropped the subject.
" Himeko's got a performance tonight at that club." I noted instead.
" What club?" Ryou asked, slightly suspicious.
" Oh, what's it called? It's supposed to be hot stuff..." I muttered, tapping my skull with my knuckles. " Oh, it's called Light Show. It's a bar, but it's also a dance club for all ages. The bar's roped off." I said. My yami kept me informed about these things. " Want to go?" I asked. Ryou shrugged.
" If I don't, I'll just be sitting around the apartment doing nothing." He said. I smiled. I liked being with Ryou. He was my stable ground that I stood on when the world swirled and tilted around me. He made me feel content and happy. I wanted to protect him from all the hurt the world could give him. But how could I, when at that moment, that hurt took the form of his other?
*+*+*Himeko*+*+*
I'd gotten used to performing. I didn't even think about it anymore. It came naturally, thank the gods. That first time was scary, but now, it was easy. There was also something reassuring about the fact that Ishtar was out there in the audience, ready to whisk me off if I felt threatened. I liked knowing he was there, a steady reminder of the good things in my dark past, firm, strong, and unwavering.
" And now, let's give a warm welcome to tonight's star, a star that fell from the exotic Egyptian skies!" The announcer cried. Some of the people in the club had seen me last time I'd performed here, and they were already applauding. That made me smile. " Princess Isis!" the announcer continued as I stepped onto the elevated stage, in full view of audience. I was reassured by the sight of Ishtar at a table near the stage, Ryou and Malik with him. I was slightly surprised by the fact that Mai and Jou were also with him. But I shook it off and heard the soft beat of bongo drums beginning. Tonight's performance was Dido's "Thank You."
" My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. But even if I could it'd all be gray. But your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.
Drank too much last night, got bills to pay, my head just reels in pain. I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again. But even if I'm there they'll all imply that I might not last the day, and then you call me, and it's not so bad, it's not so bad.
And I... want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. And oh... just to be with you is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last, and I'm soaking through and through. And then you handed me a towel, and all I see is you-" Then I saw it. A flash of white hair, pale skin, at the bar. My stomach went cold and anger rose in my throat, rivaled only by hope that maybe it was him. " And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue... Because you're near me.
And I... want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. And oh... just to be with you is having the best day of my life." I fell into a repeat of the chorus, my eyes glued on that little blotch of familiar silver that wasn't Ryou. Too sharp, too angled. The blotch rose from his seat, looked right at me with shame and sadness written on his face, and left. I looked back to Ishtar, still singing my chorus, and he nodded. He'd seen him too. Ryou was shivering involuntarily, and Malik's head was whipped around, watching him leave warily. Malik would protect Ryou, whatever it took. I finished the song, dropped the mike, and jumped off the stage and ran over to the table those three were at. Mai and Jou joined us.
" Well, of all the bars in town, he had to show up at this one." Mai growled. Her and Jou must have seen me staring at him and turned to see what I was looking at.
" He probably heard about Himeko." Jou said. Ishtar shook his head and looked at Malik. I sensed him asking Malik to translate his thoughts verbally.
" Yami says that the tomb robber would have most likely avoided this place if he'd know." Malik said. Everyone had gotten used to the idea that Ishtar didn't speak for himself often. I ignored them all and shoved past Jou, running out the door. The night was warm outside, and he was easy to spot walking down the street. I started to run after him, but running in boots that come up to your thighs with three inch heels is no mean feat, and I couldn't do it. I tripped and went down. When I looked up, he'd stopped. He'd sensed me behind him, but he wasn't looking at me.
" Tepe, wait." I called belatedly. He didn't turn around, but he didn't walk away either. " This is all my fault, I know, and I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me ever again." I called, trying not to cry. " But... but... I want you to know, especially if you do never want to see me again, that I'm sorry. I really am. I screwed up. Again." I sniffed, looking down at the ground. " I always screw things up. The people I care about always get hurt, no matter how hard I try to protect them." I confessed. I looked up again, and he hadn't moved. " It took all this to make me realize how important you are to me, Tepe. You... mean so much to me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I... I want to help you, Tepe. I will help you. I won't leave you alone like that ever again, because... When you disappeared... I got a taste of what it feels like. I'm sorry I did that to you. I won't do it ever again... If you want to come home. I miss you." I said. It felt insufficient. But it was the best I could do. I was so sorry. I wanted him to come back. I'd been hiding the sadness in anger, pretending like I didn't care if he fell off the face of the earth, but... I just wanted him to come home. I leaned my head down so that all I could see was the ground. I didn't hear him move, but he used to be a thief. He could be perfectly silent when he wanted. But I felt his hand on my head, moving under my chin, forcing me to look up. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin was clammy, but he was going to be okay. His arms were thin, and I could feel his bones clearly as he held me to his chest, and he smelled of alcohol. But he was going to be okay. He was going to be just fine.
By: Rogue Fox
Part Twenty-Five... I'm Sorry
A/N: And because it's been so long, you get a double helping. Sorry. v_v RF is a bad authoress...
*+*+*Seto*+*+*
I almost cried when I saw her, asleep on the Motou couch. She looked so thin and frail. So tired. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a mess, she looked like she hadn't slept in a month, her skin was sickly pale, her frame frighteningly thin, but somehow, I thought she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Next to me, Himeko heaved a sigh.
" As though she didn't already have enough problems, now Bakura's gone and caused even more." She said. I could hear the barely concealed anger in her voice. " Listen, we'll keep Charity here tonight. It won't kill me and Yami and Yugi to get up and take care of her. Yuki deserves a full night's sleep." I smiled at her gratefully.
" Thanks." I said. Himeko shrugged as Grandpa Motou walked in.
" Get that girl home and to bed." He instructed me. I figured he must have still been mad, and he was probably upset at me for allowing them to run off. Apparently, though, the punishment hadn't been too harsh.
" Did she ever go to the doctor like I told her to? I made the appointment." I asked him. He nodded.
" Yes, I took her." He answered.
" And?" I prodded. Grandpa Motou shook his head.
" And, they said she's just anemic. They want her to take some medications that'll cost a small fortune to keep her awake." He said.
" And you don't think they're right." I finished for him. Himeko shook her head.
" I can tell you for a fact that Yuki is not anemic." She said. " I ought to know." She added ruefully. " But there is something wrong. At first I thought she was just losing her appetite like all girls do about this age, but this... this has gone too far."
" She'll be fine." Grandpa Motou promised us. Himeko shook her head again.
" I'm her yami, Gramps. If anyone knows her, I do. I feel her emotions, her thoughts, her pain." She reminded him sadly. " She's hurting, Gramps, Seto. She's hurting, almost all the time. She's so tired, she can barely walk. She doesn't tell us, even me, because she doesn't want us to worry. But, well, damn it. You'd have to be a fool not to see it."
" Watch your mouth." Grandpa Motou said automatically, making Himeko smile. Then he looked at me. " Take her home. Make sure she gets plenty of rest." I nodded, leaning down and picking her up. She shifted in my arms, alarmingly light.
" Seto?" she asked groggily, her red-violet eyes peering tiredly up at me.
" Go back to sleep." I told her softly. She nodded, sighed, and pressed her face to my chest.
" I'm so tired..." she muttered. I cast a worried glance at Himeko, who gave me a helpless look. Suddenly, Yuki's body went stiff. " Charity!" she cried in dismay. " I was watching her and I fell asleep!" she wailed, kicking her legs to be put down. I tightened my grip and refused. As he came down the stairs, Yami cast us an amused look.
" Himeko, Yugi, Yami, and Grandpa are going to watch her tonight. Relax." I said sternly. Yuki reluctantly went limp in my arms again, allowing me to carry her out into the sunlight and to the limo. I didn't want her to be sick. I wished against it with all my heart and soul. I needed her, more than I'd ever needed anything before. But Himeko was right, and I realized it as Yuki fell asleep in my arms on the way home. This had gone too far.
*+*+*Malik*+*+*
I watched Isis as she spoke into the phone out of the corner of my eye. The rest of my vision was trained on Ryou. I didn't want to look like I was eavesdropping. My yami had his upper half slung out the window of the hospital room, smoking one of his awful cancer sticks.
" Yes, Pharaoh... No, he hasn't... They said they can't do anything more until he wakes up... No... He's in the room with us... Smoking a cigarette... With all due respect, Pharaoh, tell him yourself..." Isis laughed suddenly, and I couldn't help but notice the way her face lit up. My yami looked into the room, blowing out a cloud of smoke.
" Pharaoh can bite himself." He said in his strange, broken way, drifting between Egyptian and Arabian. Isis glared at him.
" I'm not your messenger." She snapped. " My apologies, Pharaoh, I was speaking to my brother's yami... Alright. See you soon." She hung up the phone and looked at me. " They can't come down tonight." She announced. I looked at her fully.
" Why? Did they get in that much trouble?" I asked. Isis, my solemn sister, actually smiled humorously.
" No, not at all. The Pharaoh said they only got yelled at. But Yuki collapsed again, and they're watching the baby for her so she can get some rest." She explained.
" Oh." I muttered, looking back to Ryou. He still seemed okay, breathing evenly and looking angelically peaceful. But I wanted him to wake up. I felt Isis rest her hands on my shoulders.
" He'll be fine." She told me.
" I hope so." I muttered.
" I wonder where Bakura is." Isis wondered. My yami laughed suddenly, tossing his cigarette to the ground, two stories below.
" Tomb robber is staring at bottom bottle that broke into many, many pieces like hard heart." He said. Images flashed across his mind, all too open for me to see. Isis looked to me for the translation.
" Bakura's looking at the bottom of a beer bottle that broke into a thousand pieces, like his own heart." I said. Isis nodded.
" Pain in soul. Soul is bleeding, and no Band-Aid." My yami continued, looking back out the window. " Broke the pretty mirror into little parts, because cannot look at own face, and now hand is bleeding like soul."
" There's a hurt in his heart that he can't fix. He broke a mirror... what does that have to do with anything?" I cocked my head as my yami gave me a look that said figure it out, dummy. " Ryou." I realized suddenly. " Ryou is Bakura's mirror, and Bakura broke him. Because he couldn't bear to look at himself through Ryou." I elaborated. Isis shrugged, but my yami, pleased with me, nodded. " And now he hurts because he injured Ryou, right?" I asked. Again, my yami nodded. I was the only one who could understand him.
" There is afraid. Fear of trying to pick up broken mirror, that hand will bleed like red river when shattered glass turns." He said.
" Bakura's afraid that if he tries to make amends with Ryou, Ryou'll reject him." I explained. After that, my yami seemed to be out of things to say. " I guess he feels like we all hate him."
" Well, some of us certainly seem to have a reason to." Isis said, nodding to Ryou.
" Ryou doesn't hate him. He just pities him." I protested, surprising myself. Isis seemed surprised as well, but she didn't question me.
" It must be a hikari thing." She said with a sigh. I shook my head.
" No. It's a Ryou thing." I corrected her. " I have trouble getting along with my own yami when he's nice." I added. Right on cue, my yami turned his head to stick his tongue out at me.
" Hikaris strange little things." He said. " Malik even stranger." He added with triumphant tone.
" You're one to talk." I shot back. He shrugged and tapped his head.
" Thinking is different. Not wrong. Just different." He reminded me. There was nothing wrong with my yami, really. He just had some odd ideas. He explained it to me once in sequences of images he relayed to my mind. People think in a certain sequence. They pick up the world around them through their senses, then they process the information, determine the best course of action, and then take that course. Most insane people's thinking gets screwed up in the processing stage, or when they're choosing the best action. Not my yami's. He's fine until he gets to the executing stage. For some reason, he's unable to take the action he chooses. It's better than the way he was before, when the entire process was screwed up for us both. That's why his speech is so weird, though. Since I can see his thoughts, it's easy for me to see what he's trying to say. But because he's forced to express himself in a manner most people associate with loonies, he became a loony because he was so labeled. It's a psychological thing. We become what people label us as. His thinking is warped, and I might be a little warped because of the bond we share, but his intentions are good. He only wants what's best for me and Isis. He wasn't always like that, but I'm glad he is. He's so much more pleasant when he isn't bent on the destruction of humanity.
Ryou woke up the next day, complaining of a headache. I could have cried when they told us he was going to be fine, but I didn't. Ryou stayed with us at our apartment, sharing my room, after he got out of the hospital. For a few weeks, things went back to normal. Finals got steadily closer, Yami and Himeko fought more, Charity started teething, and Yuki collapsed three more times in school. Several times Isis brought Charity home with her to help lighten poor Yuki's load, but the exhaustion never seemed to lift from her face. She wore years on her frame that she hadn't yet earned. Ryuuji even stopped with his practical jokes (I think that has a lot to do with the fact that all four yamis ganged up on him and threatened him with his soul, life, and sanity). I noticed that my yami seemed to have become good friends with Himeko, and Bakura - before he disappeared - was regular part of their little group. Even Yami Yugi joined them. But Himeko seemed to confide in my yami. And that's where my little side adventure began.
I'm still not sure how they talked me into it, but somehow they did. I do know that one night, when my yami and I were sleeping over at the Kaiba Mansion and Himeko happened to be there, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. We were sleeping in the living room, and Himeko was with us. She cradled me like a child and sang old Egyptian lullabies that tugged at those few faded memories I had of my mother. The next morning I mentioned it to her and told her that people paid to hear talented singers like her. I don't think it was the promise of money that got her going. I think it was the chance to see if she was good enough to perform. So she spoke to my yami about it, and he dragged me into it, and that's how I found myself leaning against Himeko's dressing room door. Her brother didn't know where we were. He thought my yami and I were at home with Isis, who thought we were sleeping at the Kaiba Mansion again. Kaiba and Yuki thought we were home, and Himeko was at the Motou house. The Motous, in turn, thought Himeko was at the Kaiba residence. In reality, we were in a nightclub, and Himeko was nervously preparing for her first public performance.
" Are you ready yet?" I called, checking my watch nervously. She was supposed to perform at eleven sharp. It was five minutes till. Next time I was going to insist we bring Ryou, so I'd at least have someone to talk to, and someone to help me make her hurry.
" I can't do this!" she cried, terror in her voice. How odd. This was a woman who had stared death in the face and grappled with pure evil. And something as small as a performance at a nightclub was shaking her up?
" Sure you can. You sing to Charity. You sing to me and my yami. You sing for your brothers. Why not these people?" I asked.
" That's different! I know you guys!" Himeko cried.
" You're never going to see these people again, in all likelyhood, and most of them are drunk. You'll sound great to them if you gargle salt water. I think that's a lot less scary than singing for someone I know." I said calmly, in Egyptian. " Besides, the manager's paying you a nice sum for you to sing here. He thinks you're good, I think you're good. Hell, Princess, I know you're good. So does everyone else who's heard you. Now will you please get out here? The stage manager dude is about to shove his clipboard down my throat." Which was true. He was totally cussing me out in Japanese, and I didn't know all the words he was using. But I could remember them and find out what they meant later. He didn't like that I was talking to his performer in a language he didn't understand. He'd just have to get used to it.
" Fine, I'm coming out." Himeko grumbled, in Japanese, and stepped out. She looked nice. Very sexy, if her exotic beauty is what you go for. She was wearing a black see-through duster that brushed the floor over a black spaghetti strap dress that came down to her upper thigh. Her bright red- violet eyes glimmered. She was wearing make-up, which was something she didn't make a habit of. Her skin was golden, reminiscent of her old glory. Her head was held high, her shoulders back. She looked every bit as royal as her brother ever did. " Well, how do I look?" she asked.
" Beautiful. Sexy. Hot. Amazing. Fantastic. Breath-taking. Stunning." I said. " Did I miss anything?"
" Perfect. You forgot perfect." She said, smiling at me.
" Perfect." I added. My yami approached, a murderous look in his eye. He relayed a series of images involving the sleazy manager of the club threatening to turn Himeko's performance into something less than honorable. Then he sent me an image that he had made up, about tearing the manager's throat out. I got the message. Nobody threatens my yami's precious princess. Himeko seemed to be included in the movie reel, because she laughed.
" Let him. I don't care. I'll just blow the whole joint up." She said. Great. I was stuck with two homicidal yamis, and now they were kamikaze on top of it all. I checked my watch again. I was used to yamis.
" It's time." I said unceremoniously. The stage manager was back.
" You've got your music?" he asked. Himeko held up a karaoke CD and the manager took it.
" It's track four." Himeko said, anxiousness in her voice. " 'Don't Let Me Get Me,' by Pink." She had decided to sing karaoke as opposed to singing something she had written. Besides, Yami Yugi was writing music to go with her songs. Why push it?
" Fine. I'll have you announced, and then you go out and sing. Just like we rehearsed." The stage manager said. Himeko nodded. I could see the creases of worry on her face.
" It'll be fine." I said.
" But what if I totally suck?" she asked.
" You won't." I said solidly.
" But-" Himeko began.
" But me no buts." My yami interrupted. I smiled. I loved Shakespeare. My yami, in turn, liked it as well. And we were both fond of quoting it.
" And now, a vision of beauty in both voice and appearance from the exotic land of Egypt, Princess Isis!" the announcer cried suddenly. I smiled and gave her a gentle shove. There was a polite applause as she stepped onto the stage. They were applauding now. They'd be screaming for more once she'd actually sang. The music began, and Himeko flashed us an uncertain look. We both mouthed the word for "sing" in Egyptian. She turned back to her audience, and even though we were watching her from behind, her entire posture changed. She became strong and confident, a born performer. And then her voice echoed out over the club, clear as a bell, strong and perfectly tuned. Her tone was defiant, yet somehow pleading as well.
" I never win first place, I don't support the team. I can't take directions, and my socks are never clean.
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me. I was always in a fight, cause I can't do nothin' right.
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror... I can't take the person staring back at me.
Cause I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy. It's bad when you annoy yourself, so irritating. Don't wanna be my friend no more, I wanna be somebody else.
L.A. told me, 'You'll be a popstar, all you have to change... is everything you are.
Tired of being compared to damn Brittney Spears. She's so pretty, that just ain't me.
So doctor doctor, won't you please prescribe me something? A day in the life of someone else...
Cause I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me. I'm my own worst enemy. It's bad when you annoy yourself, so irritating. Don't wanna be my friend no more, I wanna be somebody else."
She fell into a repeat of the chorus, but the audience was already applauding. They were hooting and hollering, and few were catcalling. She was a hit.
Himeko had only begun. She began to perform on a regular basis, usually with my yami nearby, at random nightclubs. Anyone that would let her on their stage found she was a crowd pleaser. She loved the audience, and they loved her. She made them happy when she sang about joy, sad when she sang of sorrow, and romantic when she sang of love. Her voice was her medium. Where my yami and I were visual, she was vocal. And she was good.
Ryou made a full recovery. One couldn't even tell he'd ever been hurt, except for the greenish remnants of a bruise under his eye, and a pink scar on his arm. But he was fine. He had a high threshold for pain, and he healed unusually fast.
It was a Friday afternoon. It had been my last day of school, but the others had another week. Lucky me. Ryou was with me, and we were walking down the street to the apartment where I lived with Isis and my yami. He was telling me about how Kaiba and Honda were fighting constantly, and how their spats had gotten violent. I smiled suddenly and laughed.
" What?" Ryou asked.
" I bet I know what they're fighting about." I said.
" Well, are you going to tell me?" Ryou asked impatiently. I smiled.
" Yeah, I guess." I said. " Honda likes Yuki, right?" I waited while Ryou nodded. " And how long has Kaiba been her best friend?"
" Wow, years. I don't even know. Since they were kids." Ryou told me. Then he looked up at me, taller than him by about six inches. " No way. You don't think they're fighting over Yuki?" he asked incredulously.
" Makes sense, doesn't it?" I asked in response as we continued along.
" It does." Ryou agreed. " Wow. Kaiba doesn't seem like the type."
" He does seem like the type who will do anything for the people he cares about." I reminded him.
" I guess." He sighed. " Hey, Himeko sang last night, didn't she? How'd she do?" he asked suddenly. I smiled. I'd told Ryou about Himeko's mounting fame.
" Well, I wasn't there, but from what I saw in my yami's memory, she got a standing ovation." I told him. Ryou knew how good she was. He'd gone with us a few times. I cocked my head thoughtfully. " My yami really likes her a lot. Not that way, but... It's kind of strange. He barely even lets me touch her. He goes crazy when someone else does."
" Your yami lived in Egypt back then. She was his Princess. Maybe that has something to do with it." Ryou suggested.
" Or maybe it's more secrets." I said darkly. I hate secrets.
" He doesn't even let Yami near her. Yugi's yami, I mean. And he's her twin brother." Ryou noted. I shrugged.
" He's protective. We both know that." I said. " By the way, how's Yuki?"
" She wasn't at school today. Kaiba said she collapsed again this morning, so he sent her to bed with strict orders not to get up for any reason." Ryou said, laughing sadly. " We all know she won't listen." He added. " I'm worried. When I met Yuki, she was really tough. Nothing got to her. She summoned the Key the first time and she got up right after that and walked away. Now she has trouble getting up in the morning."
" You think it's got something to do with the Key?" I asked. Ryou shrugged.
" How can we know? No one's ever summoned it before, so we have no clue." He said. " There is something wrong, though."
" I don't want her to die. I just met her, and I don't want her to die." I said.
" Don't be dramatic." Ryou told me, but I saw the worry etch over his face. " She's not going to die."
" She's not a yami, Ryou. She's mortal. She can die." I reminded him.
" I'd rather not think about it." Ryou said. But the fact remained. We were all thinking about it. But Ryou is sensitive about death, so I dropped the subject.
" Himeko's got a performance tonight at that club." I noted instead.
" What club?" Ryou asked, slightly suspicious.
" Oh, what's it called? It's supposed to be hot stuff..." I muttered, tapping my skull with my knuckles. " Oh, it's called Light Show. It's a bar, but it's also a dance club for all ages. The bar's roped off." I said. My yami kept me informed about these things. " Want to go?" I asked. Ryou shrugged.
" If I don't, I'll just be sitting around the apartment doing nothing." He said. I smiled. I liked being with Ryou. He was my stable ground that I stood on when the world swirled and tilted around me. He made me feel content and happy. I wanted to protect him from all the hurt the world could give him. But how could I, when at that moment, that hurt took the form of his other?
*+*+*Himeko*+*+*
I'd gotten used to performing. I didn't even think about it anymore. It came naturally, thank the gods. That first time was scary, but now, it was easy. There was also something reassuring about the fact that Ishtar was out there in the audience, ready to whisk me off if I felt threatened. I liked knowing he was there, a steady reminder of the good things in my dark past, firm, strong, and unwavering.
" And now, let's give a warm welcome to tonight's star, a star that fell from the exotic Egyptian skies!" The announcer cried. Some of the people in the club had seen me last time I'd performed here, and they were already applauding. That made me smile. " Princess Isis!" the announcer continued as I stepped onto the elevated stage, in full view of audience. I was reassured by the sight of Ishtar at a table near the stage, Ryou and Malik with him. I was slightly surprised by the fact that Mai and Jou were also with him. But I shook it off and heard the soft beat of bongo drums beginning. Tonight's performance was Dido's "Thank You."
" My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. But even if I could it'd all be gray. But your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.
Drank too much last night, got bills to pay, my head just reels in pain. I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again. But even if I'm there they'll all imply that I might not last the day, and then you call me, and it's not so bad, it's not so bad.
And I... want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. And oh... just to be with you is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last, and I'm soaking through and through. And then you handed me a towel, and all I see is you-" Then I saw it. A flash of white hair, pale skin, at the bar. My stomach went cold and anger rose in my throat, rivaled only by hope that maybe it was him. " And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue... Because you're near me.
And I... want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. And oh... just to be with you is having the best day of my life." I fell into a repeat of the chorus, my eyes glued on that little blotch of familiar silver that wasn't Ryou. Too sharp, too angled. The blotch rose from his seat, looked right at me with shame and sadness written on his face, and left. I looked back to Ishtar, still singing my chorus, and he nodded. He'd seen him too. Ryou was shivering involuntarily, and Malik's head was whipped around, watching him leave warily. Malik would protect Ryou, whatever it took. I finished the song, dropped the mike, and jumped off the stage and ran over to the table those three were at. Mai and Jou joined us.
" Well, of all the bars in town, he had to show up at this one." Mai growled. Her and Jou must have seen me staring at him and turned to see what I was looking at.
" He probably heard about Himeko." Jou said. Ishtar shook his head and looked at Malik. I sensed him asking Malik to translate his thoughts verbally.
" Yami says that the tomb robber would have most likely avoided this place if he'd know." Malik said. Everyone had gotten used to the idea that Ishtar didn't speak for himself often. I ignored them all and shoved past Jou, running out the door. The night was warm outside, and he was easy to spot walking down the street. I started to run after him, but running in boots that come up to your thighs with three inch heels is no mean feat, and I couldn't do it. I tripped and went down. When I looked up, he'd stopped. He'd sensed me behind him, but he wasn't looking at me.
" Tepe, wait." I called belatedly. He didn't turn around, but he didn't walk away either. " This is all my fault, I know, and I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me ever again." I called, trying not to cry. " But... but... I want you to know, especially if you do never want to see me again, that I'm sorry. I really am. I screwed up. Again." I sniffed, looking down at the ground. " I always screw things up. The people I care about always get hurt, no matter how hard I try to protect them." I confessed. I looked up again, and he hadn't moved. " It took all this to make me realize how important you are to me, Tepe. You... mean so much to me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I... I want to help you, Tepe. I will help you. I won't leave you alone like that ever again, because... When you disappeared... I got a taste of what it feels like. I'm sorry I did that to you. I won't do it ever again... If you want to come home. I miss you." I said. It felt insufficient. But it was the best I could do. I was so sorry. I wanted him to come back. I'd been hiding the sadness in anger, pretending like I didn't care if he fell off the face of the earth, but... I just wanted him to come home. I leaned my head down so that all I could see was the ground. I didn't hear him move, but he used to be a thief. He could be perfectly silent when he wanted. But I felt his hand on my head, moving under my chin, forcing me to look up. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin was clammy, but he was going to be okay. His arms were thin, and I could feel his bones clearly as he held me to his chest, and he smelled of alcohol. But he was going to be okay. He was going to be just fine.