The Game of Life
By: Rogue Fox
Part Twenty-Six... Like A Doll
A/N: Getting a little dark here, sorry. But the story's winding up nicely. No one's answering my question from the last two chapters! WAAAH!
*+*+*Yuki*+*+*
I was so exhausted. But I refused to let it show as Himeko slipped out the door I'd been staring at. Her eyes met mine and I questioned her with a look. She sighed.
" He went to sleep." She told me softly. I nodded. " This isn't going to be easy." She added.
" The best way to quit is cold turkey. And he told us both that he wants to quit." I said.
" That doesn't make it easier." Himeko said. " He hasn't yet, but I know he's going to beg for a drink soon. I don't know if I'll be able to tell him no." she confessed in English. We were less likely to be eavesdropped when we spoke in English.
" You've got to. You've got to be strong for him." I said. " Everyone else is still angry." I added.
" How is it that you're the Judge of Ma'at, but you're the most forgiving one of us all?" Himeko asked, smiling.
" Forgiveness is the first step toward redemption." I noted.
" But you forgave him before you'd ever even met him. Why?" Himeko pursued. I shrugged.
" I don't know. Did I make a bad decision?" I asked. Himeko faltered. " I'm human, Himeko. You forget that. Just because I can summon the Key of Ma'at doesn't automatically make me a goddess, incapable of making mistakes."
" I hate it when you do that." Himeko told me after a moment.
" What?" I asked, confused.
" Knock me down a peg without batting an eye." Himeko told me. Her grin became a soft, affectionate smile. " I know you're tired, babe. You can go to bed."
" I'm fine." I said quickly. Himeko's eyes flashed in dangerous rage, but I felt no real fear. Why should I ever be afraid of Himeko?
" No, you're not. You can lie and fool them, but you can't fool me. I feel your every heartbeat, babe, your every breath. So of course I feel it when your pulse is getting weaker and your breath comes in shallow gasps." She snapped. Then her expression softened as she pulled me into her arms to hold me the way my mother used to. I relaxed and let her. It felt good to let her support us both for a few moments. " You're my baby, Yuki, and no matter how much we love everyone else, that's what it comes down to. We're two halves of the same soul. We complete each other. You're getting weaker, and I'm getting stronger." She paused, seeming uncertain. " Are you dying?" she asked suddenly. I smiled.
" I've got no intention of going anywhere for a while, Himeko. I've got stuff to do." I said softly. It was an evasive answer, and Himeko knew it. But she didn't pursue the topic. " No more pain killers for Bakura for a few days, okay? The last thing we want is to get him off alcohol and get him on pain killers." I told her, drawing away from Himeko, who nodded.
" Sure. He's not going to like it, though." She said.
" Be strong." I advised. Then, the thin wail of a baby assaulted our ears. I jogged off, fearful of Bakura waking up. He wasn't in pain when he slept. I got to the nursery to find someone else already there. Malik smiled at me over his shoulder, then scooped Charity into his arms. I smiled back and went downstairs to fix a bottle. He met me there, with Charity in his arms, and I handed him the bottle. Unfortunately, Malik had never fed a baby before, and I had to teach him that. After she had eaten, we quietly put her back to bed and made rounds through the mansion. Ishtar was asleep on the floor of the living room when we walked in, but he cracked his right eye open, studied us, then went back to sleep. I knew without being told that I had been judged as not being a threat, and somehow, that was important to me. Bakura was fast asleep in his bed, and Himeko was dozing off in the chair next to him. The boys were all asleep, and Seto was pulling a late night. I jumped at the sound of the front door opening. I took off down the stairs, feeling Malik staring affectionately after me, my silk robe streaming behind me, and leaped into Seto's waiting arms. He walked up the stairs chuckling, my arms wrapped around his neck and my feet dangling at his shins.
The next morning was Saturday, and I woke up at about nine. I hauled myself out of bed, pulled my robe on lazily, and went down the stairs. The boys were in front of the TV, watching cartoons, and judging by the noise in the kitchen, the others were awake. Ryou was in there, apparently having arrived earlier, making breakfast. Seto and Malik were companionably sipping cups of coffee while Ishtar poured over a newspaper, frowning seriously while Charity cooed and made a mess of her cereal in her highchair. Himeko and Bakura were no where in sight. I cooed back at Charity, mimicking her, and planted a kiss on her fuzzy head, making her shriek indignantly. Just then, Himeko came into the room and snatched the discarded cartoon page from Ishtar, chuckling as she sat down. Just behind her, teetering dangerously, Bakura stepped into the room, wincing at the light. His eyes were red and his frame even more gaunt than before, but he looked at least rested.
There was a moment of silence, thick and tense, as Ryou and Bakura looked at each other. Bakura became even more pale, if that was even possible, and Ryou just stared at him. Now, I'd known Ryou for a while. He'd always been pretty meek and shy. I would have expected him to ignore Bakura, or more likely, forgive him in a fit of pity and run over to him and give him a hug. But somehow, probably because Bakura had stopped being a jerk before his drinking binge and started being a real yami and possibly because of having to learn how to yell and be obnoxious to be heard in our happy family, Ryou had developed a way to express his anger. He chucked the spatula he was using at Bakura's head. Fortunately, the withdrawal symptoms weren't so bad that Bakura's yami reflexes had been effected. He ducked just in time.
" You big stinking jerk!" Ryou bellowed, throwing the pancake mix box. Strangely, Bakura had started laughing and dodged easily. Malik had his head down on the table, cracking up. And suddenly, it did seem funny. Hilarious. Except for Ryou, who was still chucking whatever he could find at Bakura, we were all laughing. " You awful, terrible, stupid... thief!" Ryou yelled. I could see the grin on his face as he threw a wooden spoon that still had pancake batter clinging to it. " Do you have any idea how worried I've been?! I've been frantic! Don't you ever run off like that again!" he continued. Bakura caught the spoon and threw it back. And we all laughed and knew that everything was okay again.
" Here, have some coffee." Malik said. " That always wakes Isis up after she's drank too much." He added, shoving a cup of coffee at Bakura as he sat down, while Ryou retrieved his spatula. Bakura took a drink and grimaced.
" A taste like that could wake the dead." He said, and his voice was hoarse, but I knew he was going to be fine. " Could I please just have some water? I feel like I've swallowed a bag of cotton balls. And my head is killing me."
" No pain killers. I don't want you hooked on those." Himeko said, back to her cartoons.
" Whatever." Bakura said with a shrug. Ryou glared at him over his shoulder.
" Get your water yourself. I'm not your slave." He called. Bakura smiled and rose to go to the cabinet. Just then, the doorbell rang. We all looked up curiously.
" Who could that be? Honda wouldn't be coming so early." Malik wondered out loud. I stood.
" I'll get it." I said, leaving the room before Seto could insist I eat. I wasn't hungry anyway. I jogged past the boys and swung the front door open, completely forgetting to check the peephole like Seto always told me to do. A man and a woman were standing there, dressed in dark, professional suits. Must be for Seto, I thought.
" Hello, can I help you?" I asked politely.
" Good morning." The woman said, offering me her hand. I took it and noticed her strong grip, nodding politely at the man. " Would you perhaps be Himeko Motou? Or maybe Yuki?"
" I'm Yuki, yes." I said, suddenly feeling a sense of danger. A part of me want to slam the door impulsively and lock it tight.
" My name is Tasha Shidou, and this is my partner, Souchiro Hiragawa. We're from the Department of Human Services." The woman said, and my stomach sank through my feet and into the floor. Oh God, I thought, not these people. " We were wondering if perhaps you would let us come in and look around?" she asked. Just a game. I knew this. It was just a game. I couldn't say no, because if I did, it would mean I had something to hide and they'd just come back later with a warrant.
I cried mentally. There was a loud clatter from the kitchen. I figured I must have startled them.
" Of course you may." I said with a big, polite grin.
" What was that noise?" the man, Mr. Hiragawa, asked. I smiled again.
" Oh, we're making breakfast for the boys and Ryou must have hit the pan a little harder than he intended." I explained.
" Ryou Bakura?" The woman asked, looking at a clipboard in her hands. So they'd had us under surveillance, to know who were typically with.
" Yes, how did you know?" I asked, holding the door open for them.
" We're here to check on him as well. His father and sister have been absent for some time." Ms. Shidou said.
I called mentally.
" Boys, say hello to Ms. Shidou and Mr. Hiragawa." I said to the boys as we came into the living room. Fortunately, the three of them had seen enough social workers in their time to recognize them.
" Hello." They chirruped cutely in response. Suddenly, Charity began to squall. I winced.
" Uh, oh dear, Charity must want someone to give her bottle. Please excuse me." I said politely. The social workers nodded.
" Yes, we'd like to ask the boys some questions alone anyway." That woman told me. I felt myself bristle, but I went into the kitchen anyway. Everyone met me with tense expressions.
" I don't think it looks good. They're asking the alone questions." I said. Ryou winced.
" I hate the alone questions." He muttered. I noted Bakura's absence.
" Do you feel comfortable here?" Malik intoned, mimicking the emotionless voice of a social worker.
" Have you ever felt threatened by your guardian in any way?" Seto added, his face twisted into a grimace.
" Are you often left alone?" Ryou asked. " I hated that one."
" My worst was, do you feel that your guardian tends to your needs?" I told them.
" No, I never felt comfortable." Malik said, rolling his eyes. " My dad was a loon."
" Threatened by my guardian. Duh. See the black eye? Doesn't take a genius." Seto growled.
" Yes, they left me alone. Wasn't that obvious? The house was empty when they came." Ryou muttered.
" She was too busy. I had to tend to her needs." I said simply as I picked Charity up from her chair, wiping her face clean on a washcloth.
" Yuki!" Three voices suddenly called. I shot off with Charity.
" They want to take us away!" Mokuba screamed, tears streaming unbidden down his face.
" Make them go away!" Yukio begged me, latching onto my waist.
" Seto, tell them they're being stupid!" Yoshi yelled angrily. My heart stopped and my breath fell quiet. My entire world had come crashing down around me in those few seconds. Charity squalled angrily, beating her fists against my back. She wanted to be fed.
" What is this nonsense?" Seto asked, his voice quivering in barely controlled rage.
" It's not nonsense, Mr. Kaiba. It's very serious. It is our judgement that this home is unfit for the children. The state will be taking them into custody now." Mr. Hirogawa said calmly. Charity bawled pathetically in my ear.
" I forgot Charity's bottle..." I whispered. " Himeko, please get Charity's bottle." I said.
" You have no grounds!" Seto bellowed.
" You are not bettering your case, Mr. Kaiba." Ms. Shidou said soothingly. Seto took a deep breath and attempted to calm himself.
" Get off my property. You aren't taking them from us." He growled. Himeko handed me Charity's bottle and I sank into my usual arm chair, humming a lullaby to soothe the frightened child.
" Don't talk like that, Seto. You're scaring Charity." I mumbled. He didn't seem to hear me.
" We have a warrant, sir. The children will come, or we will be forced to detain you. That wouldn't be good for your business reputation, would it?" Ms. Shidou said, smiling.
" This is clearly harassment! Blackmail!" Malik cried in outrage.
" Yuki, please don't let them!" Yukio sobbed, flinging himself into my lap. I continued rocking back and forth.
" The fact of the matter is, you are all still children yourselves, and no matter how mature you fancy yourselves, that fact remains. We can hardly expect you to take on such a huge responsibility like bringing up children." Mr. Hirogawa said.
" If that was true, you would have come years ago. Kaiba's been taking care of Mokuba all of the kid's life." Ryou said softly. " Yoshi can't remember his mother ever caring for him, and in Yukio's mind, his mother was a woman who lived in his house. Yuki was his mother, in all ways but physical. And Charity can't sleep if Yuki doesn't rock her. Yuki's a better mom than most real moms I've ever met."
" The responsibility is just too great. According to reports from your school, Yuki has developed anemic tendencies, and her doctor has reported that she is alarmingly underweight. This is as much for you as for the children. Yuki will be taken to an area hospital soon, to be properly cared for. You, Kaiba, will be taken to a local foster home, where you can continue to run your company, where we will also be taking the other older Motou children, and you, Ryou Bakura. The children will put into the states custody." Ms. Shidou said.
" What?!" Ryou and Malik both cried.
" You're father and sister's extended absences have been unforgivable. We have given them too many second chances." Mr. Hirogawa said.
" This is absurd!" Seto yelled.
" We are under adult supervision!" Himeko said desperately.
" Ah, yes. Sogoroku Motou. I'm afraid he had simply become too old to care for so many children." Ms. Shidou said.
" No!" I screamed suddenly, startling Charity. I didn't realize I was crying. " No!" I repeated.
" Yuki, you must realize you are simply too weak to-" Ms. Shidou tried to tell me, but I shook my head.
" I can't stop you now." I whispered. Yukio wailed again and Mokuba cried and Yoshi yelled angrily at me for giving up. " But you can bet your nasty jobs that we'll see you and all your stinking lot in court!" I bellowed. " I've taken a lot of crap from you people, and this is the final straw. You can take them now, if you want, but I still see them whenever I can. And they know I love them. You're doing more harm than you know."
I packed the boys' things and Charity's diaper bag while everyone else comforted them. I was sure to pack Yoshi's favorite games, Yukio's favorite stuffed cat, Mokuba's favorite blanket, and Charity's favorite pacifier. I pretended like they were just going on a trip. And Charity bawled and bawled as Ms. Shidou held her in the van they drove. Ishtar snarled at them as they passed, calling them a dirty name in Egyptian.
" You are fools." He said in halting Japanese. " Caring is not killing Yuki. It keeps her alive. You will kill her. Then her blood will be on your hands." They just kept walking, ignoring him. I waved to the boys through the windows of their white van until they were out of sight, and then I sank to my knees, staring, trying to figure it all out. Then all conscious thought ceased.
*+*+*Ishtar*+*+*
Bravery is not the lack of fear. It's doing what you have to, in spite of the fear. Someone very wise said that once, and I completely agree. I came to the conclusion - based on my own observations - a long time ago that the human race on the whole are a lot of cowards. We keep blundering on, tearing our earth apart, ripping into her bowels for her precious treasures, ravaging her lovely green garments for paper and other unnecessary products, polluting her sparkling oceans with our nasty chemicals, killing her beloved children for sport. And we keep doing it, thinking, Oh, well, no big deal. The earth will fix itself. Because we're too cowardly to face the truth, that we've signed our own death certificate. But of course, there are the two extremes. On the negative, there are the terribly cowardly people who harm their fellows for fun, because it gives them a morbid sense of pleasure. I was quite convinced that those "social workers" were of this extreme. But on the positive side, there are those who are beautifully brave, who put their own feelings aside for their fellow man and the world around them. I was convinced that Yuki, the little princess, was of this extreme. Those people tore her world apart before her very eyes. She could have screamed and cried and fought them, blown them right up, and I wouldn't have blamed her at all. I probably would have applauded her. But she shoved her own fear and desperation aside and smiled for the little ones, kissed them and promised them that she'd see them soon. And I remembered vaguely my own mother on her death bed telling me that I had nothing to fear, even though she must have been much more frightened than me. Then the poor little princess just stopped. It was like they had been her source of strength, her balance, and without them, she simply could not go on.
I knew she was quite different from all the others the second I saw her. Her eyes were lit in a way different from anything else, even different from the other hikaris. They all have a different sort of light, but all of their light seems earthly, of this plane. Hers seems to dip down, faint and pale from so far away, from some place else. My own sweet Malik is like the sun burning in the day time, bright and fierce joy, and his precious Ryou like the full moon on a clear night, silvery and beautiful. And little Yugi is like the rosy first rays of light in the morning, and the last golden tendrils in the twilight, sweet and full of promise. But Yuki... That girl is like the soft and gentle light of the stars, from which all began and with which all will end. I can't tell Malik, or anyone else, because I don't know how, but that girl holds the power to give life in her hands... and the power to end it. She will be the one to pass the Final Judgement. I have no doubt in my mind.
But without control, even light can become a tool of evil. Malik's sun can shine too bright and burn those around him. Isis has terrible scars where she was standing too near him when I, in my folly, was not tending to being a yami like I should have been. Ryou's soft moonlight will slow to a trickle until his blood grows cold. Strange, how Malik lashes out without me to temper him, but Ryou turns it inward on himself when the thief neglects him. Yugi's power is usually safely tucked away, since his yami is very attendant, but once unleashed, he, like the Pharaoh, tears apart the souls of man and drives them to madness with his rosy hues burning too bright, only to turn the guilt upon himself when he comes to his senses. Even Yuki's starlight burns wildly like a star going supernova in one final burst of catastrophic energy.
Brave, sweet, little princess, I thought sadly, watching her usually prettily lit eyes shine dully with not a hint of humanity behind them. She had sunk so far inside herself she couldn't have answered us if she had wanted to. Her eyes were like twin stars that had lived too long and were on their final leg. She had been so brave, and it seemed to have taken what little energy she had left, and left behind a hollow shell that just sat there. Pretty to look at, but no humanity, no emotion behind the dull, unseeing eyes. Like a doll, she sat there. She moved when we urged her, walked when someone guided her, but mostly she just sat. I never liked dolls. I hate them. They're sick, twisted copies of people, incapable of thought or emotion. Maybe I hate dolls because they're a metaphor I commonly use to describe myself. A hollow, inhuman shell that copies the form of another... That other being the man I was once. A long time ago. The man I keep catching swift glimpses of in Malik, the man I have hope to become again when I look into Yuki's eyes. But she wasn't there, behind the eyes, any more. Those pretty eyes, so like the Pharaoh's or the Princess's, but different. Softer, kinder, more gentle. There was no contempt, like the Pharaoh's eyes, or ruthless hunger, like the Princess's eyes. They even lacked Yugi's burning passion. Those were quiet eyes, the eyes that Yuki saw through, quiet and gentle and full of love and forgiveness. Everyone wonders what makes them fight to protect her. Because they'd sooner die than have to face the corrupt and killing place the world has become without being able to see Yuki's eyes, that forgive even the most heinous crimes and love even the most ruthless killer. But now... her eyes had become sightless and blank, void. I sat across from her, staring hard into the red-violet that was usually so warm and alive. The color had become cold and dead, like color scribbled on a piece of paper by a child. Pretty and everything, but dead.
My face puckered in a flash of uncontrollable rage, the swift turn to anger that I was prone to. Red seared across my consciousness and into Malik's, who flashed me an uncertain look. I knew I'd pay in spades for what I was going to do, but if it did the job, then so be it. I drew back my hand and slapped the girl I had become so fond of, straight across the cheek. The sharp smack echoed across the room and her eyes went alight once more, alive in rage and fury. Her power surged forward, like the aforementioned star going supernova.
" Bastard!" The Pharaoh bellowed, grabbing me by the color of my khaki shirt and hauling me to my feet. I was by far larger than he, but I was also quite aware that he would tear what little reason and sanity I had left into molecular bits. Paying in spades. But the light coming back to her eyes was worth every bit of it.
" Yami." A swift crack of a voice lashed over us both, and he dropped my shirt. Yuki looked up at us, rubbing her cheek tenderly. The Princess all but tackled her, gently inspecting the reddening and slightly swollen cheek. An entire argument passed between the Princess and her hikari in an instant, and then, the headstrong Princess seemed to concede. Yuki stood, wavering slightly, and popped me across the cheek. It didn't hurt nearly as much as when Isis slapped me, but it wasn't meant to hurt. She was being true to her identity, judging my crime as forgivable so long as I was willing to take the return action, and dealing out her little punishment. It stung, though, although a verbal reproach from her would have stung far more. She smiled at me, and then she was herself again.
" So, what's the plan?" she asked.
By: Rogue Fox
Part Twenty-Six... Like A Doll
A/N: Getting a little dark here, sorry. But the story's winding up nicely. No one's answering my question from the last two chapters! WAAAH!
*+*+*Yuki*+*+*
I was so exhausted. But I refused to let it show as Himeko slipped out the door I'd been staring at. Her eyes met mine and I questioned her with a look. She sighed.
" He went to sleep." She told me softly. I nodded. " This isn't going to be easy." She added.
" The best way to quit is cold turkey. And he told us both that he wants to quit." I said.
" That doesn't make it easier." Himeko said. " He hasn't yet, but I know he's going to beg for a drink soon. I don't know if I'll be able to tell him no." she confessed in English. We were less likely to be eavesdropped when we spoke in English.
" You've got to. You've got to be strong for him." I said. " Everyone else is still angry." I added.
" How is it that you're the Judge of Ma'at, but you're the most forgiving one of us all?" Himeko asked, smiling.
" Forgiveness is the first step toward redemption." I noted.
" But you forgave him before you'd ever even met him. Why?" Himeko pursued. I shrugged.
" I don't know. Did I make a bad decision?" I asked. Himeko faltered. " I'm human, Himeko. You forget that. Just because I can summon the Key of Ma'at doesn't automatically make me a goddess, incapable of making mistakes."
" I hate it when you do that." Himeko told me after a moment.
" What?" I asked, confused.
" Knock me down a peg without batting an eye." Himeko told me. Her grin became a soft, affectionate smile. " I know you're tired, babe. You can go to bed."
" I'm fine." I said quickly. Himeko's eyes flashed in dangerous rage, but I felt no real fear. Why should I ever be afraid of Himeko?
" No, you're not. You can lie and fool them, but you can't fool me. I feel your every heartbeat, babe, your every breath. So of course I feel it when your pulse is getting weaker and your breath comes in shallow gasps." She snapped. Then her expression softened as she pulled me into her arms to hold me the way my mother used to. I relaxed and let her. It felt good to let her support us both for a few moments. " You're my baby, Yuki, and no matter how much we love everyone else, that's what it comes down to. We're two halves of the same soul. We complete each other. You're getting weaker, and I'm getting stronger." She paused, seeming uncertain. " Are you dying?" she asked suddenly. I smiled.
" I've got no intention of going anywhere for a while, Himeko. I've got stuff to do." I said softly. It was an evasive answer, and Himeko knew it. But she didn't pursue the topic. " No more pain killers for Bakura for a few days, okay? The last thing we want is to get him off alcohol and get him on pain killers." I told her, drawing away from Himeko, who nodded.
" Sure. He's not going to like it, though." She said.
" Be strong." I advised. Then, the thin wail of a baby assaulted our ears. I jogged off, fearful of Bakura waking up. He wasn't in pain when he slept. I got to the nursery to find someone else already there. Malik smiled at me over his shoulder, then scooped Charity into his arms. I smiled back and went downstairs to fix a bottle. He met me there, with Charity in his arms, and I handed him the bottle. Unfortunately, Malik had never fed a baby before, and I had to teach him that. After she had eaten, we quietly put her back to bed and made rounds through the mansion. Ishtar was asleep on the floor of the living room when we walked in, but he cracked his right eye open, studied us, then went back to sleep. I knew without being told that I had been judged as not being a threat, and somehow, that was important to me. Bakura was fast asleep in his bed, and Himeko was dozing off in the chair next to him. The boys were all asleep, and Seto was pulling a late night. I jumped at the sound of the front door opening. I took off down the stairs, feeling Malik staring affectionately after me, my silk robe streaming behind me, and leaped into Seto's waiting arms. He walked up the stairs chuckling, my arms wrapped around his neck and my feet dangling at his shins.
The next morning was Saturday, and I woke up at about nine. I hauled myself out of bed, pulled my robe on lazily, and went down the stairs. The boys were in front of the TV, watching cartoons, and judging by the noise in the kitchen, the others were awake. Ryou was in there, apparently having arrived earlier, making breakfast. Seto and Malik were companionably sipping cups of coffee while Ishtar poured over a newspaper, frowning seriously while Charity cooed and made a mess of her cereal in her highchair. Himeko and Bakura were no where in sight. I cooed back at Charity, mimicking her, and planted a kiss on her fuzzy head, making her shriek indignantly. Just then, Himeko came into the room and snatched the discarded cartoon page from Ishtar, chuckling as she sat down. Just behind her, teetering dangerously, Bakura stepped into the room, wincing at the light. His eyes were red and his frame even more gaunt than before, but he looked at least rested.
There was a moment of silence, thick and tense, as Ryou and Bakura looked at each other. Bakura became even more pale, if that was even possible, and Ryou just stared at him. Now, I'd known Ryou for a while. He'd always been pretty meek and shy. I would have expected him to ignore Bakura, or more likely, forgive him in a fit of pity and run over to him and give him a hug. But somehow, probably because Bakura had stopped being a jerk before his drinking binge and started being a real yami and possibly because of having to learn how to yell and be obnoxious to be heard in our happy family, Ryou had developed a way to express his anger. He chucked the spatula he was using at Bakura's head. Fortunately, the withdrawal symptoms weren't so bad that Bakura's yami reflexes had been effected. He ducked just in time.
" You big stinking jerk!" Ryou bellowed, throwing the pancake mix box. Strangely, Bakura had started laughing and dodged easily. Malik had his head down on the table, cracking up. And suddenly, it did seem funny. Hilarious. Except for Ryou, who was still chucking whatever he could find at Bakura, we were all laughing. " You awful, terrible, stupid... thief!" Ryou yelled. I could see the grin on his face as he threw a wooden spoon that still had pancake batter clinging to it. " Do you have any idea how worried I've been?! I've been frantic! Don't you ever run off like that again!" he continued. Bakura caught the spoon and threw it back. And we all laughed and knew that everything was okay again.
" Here, have some coffee." Malik said. " That always wakes Isis up after she's drank too much." He added, shoving a cup of coffee at Bakura as he sat down, while Ryou retrieved his spatula. Bakura took a drink and grimaced.
" A taste like that could wake the dead." He said, and his voice was hoarse, but I knew he was going to be fine. " Could I please just have some water? I feel like I've swallowed a bag of cotton balls. And my head is killing me."
" No pain killers. I don't want you hooked on those." Himeko said, back to her cartoons.
" Whatever." Bakura said with a shrug. Ryou glared at him over his shoulder.
" Get your water yourself. I'm not your slave." He called. Bakura smiled and rose to go to the cabinet. Just then, the doorbell rang. We all looked up curiously.
" Who could that be? Honda wouldn't be coming so early." Malik wondered out loud. I stood.
" I'll get it." I said, leaving the room before Seto could insist I eat. I wasn't hungry anyway. I jogged past the boys and swung the front door open, completely forgetting to check the peephole like Seto always told me to do. A man and a woman were standing there, dressed in dark, professional suits. Must be for Seto, I thought.
" Hello, can I help you?" I asked politely.
" Good morning." The woman said, offering me her hand. I took it and noticed her strong grip, nodding politely at the man. " Would you perhaps be Himeko Motou? Or maybe Yuki?"
" I'm Yuki, yes." I said, suddenly feeling a sense of danger. A part of me want to slam the door impulsively and lock it tight.
" My name is Tasha Shidou, and this is my partner, Souchiro Hiragawa. We're from the Department of Human Services." The woman said, and my stomach sank through my feet and into the floor. Oh God, I thought, not these people. " We were wondering if perhaps you would let us come in and look around?" she asked. Just a game. I knew this. It was just a game. I couldn't say no, because if I did, it would mean I had something to hide and they'd just come back later with a warrant.
I cried mentally. There was a loud clatter from the kitchen. I figured I must have startled them.
" Of course you may." I said with a big, polite grin.
" What was that noise?" the man, Mr. Hiragawa, asked. I smiled again.
" Oh, we're making breakfast for the boys and Ryou must have hit the pan a little harder than he intended." I explained.
" Ryou Bakura?" The woman asked, looking at a clipboard in her hands. So they'd had us under surveillance, to know who were typically with.
" Yes, how did you know?" I asked, holding the door open for them.
" We're here to check on him as well. His father and sister have been absent for some time." Ms. Shidou said.
I called mentally.
" Boys, say hello to Ms. Shidou and Mr. Hiragawa." I said to the boys as we came into the living room. Fortunately, the three of them had seen enough social workers in their time to recognize them.
" Hello." They chirruped cutely in response. Suddenly, Charity began to squall. I winced.
" Uh, oh dear, Charity must want someone to give her bottle. Please excuse me." I said politely. The social workers nodded.
" Yes, we'd like to ask the boys some questions alone anyway." That woman told me. I felt myself bristle, but I went into the kitchen anyway. Everyone met me with tense expressions.
" I don't think it looks good. They're asking the alone questions." I said. Ryou winced.
" I hate the alone questions." He muttered. I noted Bakura's absence.
" Do you feel comfortable here?" Malik intoned, mimicking the emotionless voice of a social worker.
" Have you ever felt threatened by your guardian in any way?" Seto added, his face twisted into a grimace.
" Are you often left alone?" Ryou asked. " I hated that one."
" My worst was, do you feel that your guardian tends to your needs?" I told them.
" No, I never felt comfortable." Malik said, rolling his eyes. " My dad was a loon."
" Threatened by my guardian. Duh. See the black eye? Doesn't take a genius." Seto growled.
" Yes, they left me alone. Wasn't that obvious? The house was empty when they came." Ryou muttered.
" She was too busy. I had to tend to her needs." I said simply as I picked Charity up from her chair, wiping her face clean on a washcloth.
" Yuki!" Three voices suddenly called. I shot off with Charity.
" They want to take us away!" Mokuba screamed, tears streaming unbidden down his face.
" Make them go away!" Yukio begged me, latching onto my waist.
" Seto, tell them they're being stupid!" Yoshi yelled angrily. My heart stopped and my breath fell quiet. My entire world had come crashing down around me in those few seconds. Charity squalled angrily, beating her fists against my back. She wanted to be fed.
" What is this nonsense?" Seto asked, his voice quivering in barely controlled rage.
" It's not nonsense, Mr. Kaiba. It's very serious. It is our judgement that this home is unfit for the children. The state will be taking them into custody now." Mr. Hirogawa said calmly. Charity bawled pathetically in my ear.
" I forgot Charity's bottle..." I whispered. " Himeko, please get Charity's bottle." I said.
" You have no grounds!" Seto bellowed.
" You are not bettering your case, Mr. Kaiba." Ms. Shidou said soothingly. Seto took a deep breath and attempted to calm himself.
" Get off my property. You aren't taking them from us." He growled. Himeko handed me Charity's bottle and I sank into my usual arm chair, humming a lullaby to soothe the frightened child.
" Don't talk like that, Seto. You're scaring Charity." I mumbled. He didn't seem to hear me.
" We have a warrant, sir. The children will come, or we will be forced to detain you. That wouldn't be good for your business reputation, would it?" Ms. Shidou said, smiling.
" This is clearly harassment! Blackmail!" Malik cried in outrage.
" Yuki, please don't let them!" Yukio sobbed, flinging himself into my lap. I continued rocking back and forth.
" The fact of the matter is, you are all still children yourselves, and no matter how mature you fancy yourselves, that fact remains. We can hardly expect you to take on such a huge responsibility like bringing up children." Mr. Hirogawa said.
" If that was true, you would have come years ago. Kaiba's been taking care of Mokuba all of the kid's life." Ryou said softly. " Yoshi can't remember his mother ever caring for him, and in Yukio's mind, his mother was a woman who lived in his house. Yuki was his mother, in all ways but physical. And Charity can't sleep if Yuki doesn't rock her. Yuki's a better mom than most real moms I've ever met."
" The responsibility is just too great. According to reports from your school, Yuki has developed anemic tendencies, and her doctor has reported that she is alarmingly underweight. This is as much for you as for the children. Yuki will be taken to an area hospital soon, to be properly cared for. You, Kaiba, will be taken to a local foster home, where you can continue to run your company, where we will also be taking the other older Motou children, and you, Ryou Bakura. The children will put into the states custody." Ms. Shidou said.
" What?!" Ryou and Malik both cried.
" You're father and sister's extended absences have been unforgivable. We have given them too many second chances." Mr. Hirogawa said.
" This is absurd!" Seto yelled.
" We are under adult supervision!" Himeko said desperately.
" Ah, yes. Sogoroku Motou. I'm afraid he had simply become too old to care for so many children." Ms. Shidou said.
" No!" I screamed suddenly, startling Charity. I didn't realize I was crying. " No!" I repeated.
" Yuki, you must realize you are simply too weak to-" Ms. Shidou tried to tell me, but I shook my head.
" I can't stop you now." I whispered. Yukio wailed again and Mokuba cried and Yoshi yelled angrily at me for giving up. " But you can bet your nasty jobs that we'll see you and all your stinking lot in court!" I bellowed. " I've taken a lot of crap from you people, and this is the final straw. You can take them now, if you want, but I still see them whenever I can. And they know I love them. You're doing more harm than you know."
I packed the boys' things and Charity's diaper bag while everyone else comforted them. I was sure to pack Yoshi's favorite games, Yukio's favorite stuffed cat, Mokuba's favorite blanket, and Charity's favorite pacifier. I pretended like they were just going on a trip. And Charity bawled and bawled as Ms. Shidou held her in the van they drove. Ishtar snarled at them as they passed, calling them a dirty name in Egyptian.
" You are fools." He said in halting Japanese. " Caring is not killing Yuki. It keeps her alive. You will kill her. Then her blood will be on your hands." They just kept walking, ignoring him. I waved to the boys through the windows of their white van until they were out of sight, and then I sank to my knees, staring, trying to figure it all out. Then all conscious thought ceased.
*+*+*Ishtar*+*+*
Bravery is not the lack of fear. It's doing what you have to, in spite of the fear. Someone very wise said that once, and I completely agree. I came to the conclusion - based on my own observations - a long time ago that the human race on the whole are a lot of cowards. We keep blundering on, tearing our earth apart, ripping into her bowels for her precious treasures, ravaging her lovely green garments for paper and other unnecessary products, polluting her sparkling oceans with our nasty chemicals, killing her beloved children for sport. And we keep doing it, thinking, Oh, well, no big deal. The earth will fix itself. Because we're too cowardly to face the truth, that we've signed our own death certificate. But of course, there are the two extremes. On the negative, there are the terribly cowardly people who harm their fellows for fun, because it gives them a morbid sense of pleasure. I was quite convinced that those "social workers" were of this extreme. But on the positive side, there are those who are beautifully brave, who put their own feelings aside for their fellow man and the world around them. I was convinced that Yuki, the little princess, was of this extreme. Those people tore her world apart before her very eyes. She could have screamed and cried and fought them, blown them right up, and I wouldn't have blamed her at all. I probably would have applauded her. But she shoved her own fear and desperation aside and smiled for the little ones, kissed them and promised them that she'd see them soon. And I remembered vaguely my own mother on her death bed telling me that I had nothing to fear, even though she must have been much more frightened than me. Then the poor little princess just stopped. It was like they had been her source of strength, her balance, and without them, she simply could not go on.
I knew she was quite different from all the others the second I saw her. Her eyes were lit in a way different from anything else, even different from the other hikaris. They all have a different sort of light, but all of their light seems earthly, of this plane. Hers seems to dip down, faint and pale from so far away, from some place else. My own sweet Malik is like the sun burning in the day time, bright and fierce joy, and his precious Ryou like the full moon on a clear night, silvery and beautiful. And little Yugi is like the rosy first rays of light in the morning, and the last golden tendrils in the twilight, sweet and full of promise. But Yuki... That girl is like the soft and gentle light of the stars, from which all began and with which all will end. I can't tell Malik, or anyone else, because I don't know how, but that girl holds the power to give life in her hands... and the power to end it. She will be the one to pass the Final Judgement. I have no doubt in my mind.
But without control, even light can become a tool of evil. Malik's sun can shine too bright and burn those around him. Isis has terrible scars where she was standing too near him when I, in my folly, was not tending to being a yami like I should have been. Ryou's soft moonlight will slow to a trickle until his blood grows cold. Strange, how Malik lashes out without me to temper him, but Ryou turns it inward on himself when the thief neglects him. Yugi's power is usually safely tucked away, since his yami is very attendant, but once unleashed, he, like the Pharaoh, tears apart the souls of man and drives them to madness with his rosy hues burning too bright, only to turn the guilt upon himself when he comes to his senses. Even Yuki's starlight burns wildly like a star going supernova in one final burst of catastrophic energy.
Brave, sweet, little princess, I thought sadly, watching her usually prettily lit eyes shine dully with not a hint of humanity behind them. She had sunk so far inside herself she couldn't have answered us if she had wanted to. Her eyes were like twin stars that had lived too long and were on their final leg. She had been so brave, and it seemed to have taken what little energy she had left, and left behind a hollow shell that just sat there. Pretty to look at, but no humanity, no emotion behind the dull, unseeing eyes. Like a doll, she sat there. She moved when we urged her, walked when someone guided her, but mostly she just sat. I never liked dolls. I hate them. They're sick, twisted copies of people, incapable of thought or emotion. Maybe I hate dolls because they're a metaphor I commonly use to describe myself. A hollow, inhuman shell that copies the form of another... That other being the man I was once. A long time ago. The man I keep catching swift glimpses of in Malik, the man I have hope to become again when I look into Yuki's eyes. But she wasn't there, behind the eyes, any more. Those pretty eyes, so like the Pharaoh's or the Princess's, but different. Softer, kinder, more gentle. There was no contempt, like the Pharaoh's eyes, or ruthless hunger, like the Princess's eyes. They even lacked Yugi's burning passion. Those were quiet eyes, the eyes that Yuki saw through, quiet and gentle and full of love and forgiveness. Everyone wonders what makes them fight to protect her. Because they'd sooner die than have to face the corrupt and killing place the world has become without being able to see Yuki's eyes, that forgive even the most heinous crimes and love even the most ruthless killer. But now... her eyes had become sightless and blank, void. I sat across from her, staring hard into the red-violet that was usually so warm and alive. The color had become cold and dead, like color scribbled on a piece of paper by a child. Pretty and everything, but dead.
My face puckered in a flash of uncontrollable rage, the swift turn to anger that I was prone to. Red seared across my consciousness and into Malik's, who flashed me an uncertain look. I knew I'd pay in spades for what I was going to do, but if it did the job, then so be it. I drew back my hand and slapped the girl I had become so fond of, straight across the cheek. The sharp smack echoed across the room and her eyes went alight once more, alive in rage and fury. Her power surged forward, like the aforementioned star going supernova.
" Bastard!" The Pharaoh bellowed, grabbing me by the color of my khaki shirt and hauling me to my feet. I was by far larger than he, but I was also quite aware that he would tear what little reason and sanity I had left into molecular bits. Paying in spades. But the light coming back to her eyes was worth every bit of it.
" Yami." A swift crack of a voice lashed over us both, and he dropped my shirt. Yuki looked up at us, rubbing her cheek tenderly. The Princess all but tackled her, gently inspecting the reddening and slightly swollen cheek. An entire argument passed between the Princess and her hikari in an instant, and then, the headstrong Princess seemed to concede. Yuki stood, wavering slightly, and popped me across the cheek. It didn't hurt nearly as much as when Isis slapped me, but it wasn't meant to hurt. She was being true to her identity, judging my crime as forgivable so long as I was willing to take the return action, and dealing out her little punishment. It stung, though, although a verbal reproach from her would have stung far more. She smiled at me, and then she was herself again.
" So, what's the plan?" she asked.