Title: Attack of the Mary Sues
Rating: PG, I think.
Summary: And so his coming also heralded the coming of a new danger, more terrible than any, perhaps including Sauron himself, could have possibly imagined: the Mary Sue…
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that aren't Mary-Sues. (And feel free to exploit them however you wish.) Middle Earth belongs to Tolkien. I am only a figment of your imagination…
A super-big thanks to everyone who bothered to click on this story and try it out. I'm not an accomplished fanfic writer, so here's where I give you the whole spiel about "please review and I'll give you a cookie, helpful criticism appreciated, blah blah blah, etc etc." Anyway. I'm sorry if I've offended any Men, Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, rabid fangirls, or Mary Sues. This was just an idea that sprung into my head and stuck there until I decided to actually follow up on it. But I'll shut up now, because I'm sure you didn't come here to listen to me babble at you. Or read me babbling at you. Or…whatever.
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It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves: immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings. Seven, to the dwarf lords, masters and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who, above all else, desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made.
In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron made, in secret, a master Ring to control all others. Into this Ring he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. One Ring to rule them all.
One by one, the free lands of Middle Earth fell to the power of the Ring. But there were some who resisted. A Last Alliance of Elves and Men marched against the armies of Mordor. On the slopes of Mount Doom they fought for the freedom of Middle Earth. Victory came near, but the power of the Ring could not be undone. Once its power was turned against the Alliance, all hope began to dim. In this moment, when all hope had faded, Isildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword. With a single stroke, he severed the Ring from the Dark Lord's hand. Sauron, enemy of the free people, was destroyed.
The Ring then passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy Evil forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted, and the Ring of Power has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur to his death, and many things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend and legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years, the Ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.
The Ring came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, it consumed him.
Darkness crept back into the corners of the world. Rumors grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear. Sauron had awakened, his time now close at hand. And he perceived, looking back at his failed attempts, that something stronger, something more dreadful, something deadlier was needed to combat the powers of Good. And so his coming also heralded the coming of a new danger, more terrible than any, perhaps including Sauron himself, could have possibly imagined: the Mary Sue…
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It started simply enough. It was a beautiful summer's day in Rivendell. The sun sparkled off of the waterfall, sending little rainbows into the mists. The sky was blue and friendly, inviting you to relax on the grass and ignore any responsibilities. Which was, in fact, exactly what Estel and his Elven twin brothers, Elladan and Elrohir, were doing.
A casual observer, seeing the three brothers together, would probably have assumed that Estel was Elven as well. He had the same manner as his adoptive family, and although he did usually dress as a Ranger, his clothes were often of a finer weave than those of others of his kind. Estel, also known as Aragorn, though, was no Elf, but the heir to the throne of Gondor, one of the last great countries of Men. But I assume you know all of this, because if you're reading LOTR fanfics, you have almost definitely seen the movies. Or read the books. So let's move on.
"We really should drag ada out here to enjoy the sun," Elrohir suggested lazily. "It's not reasonable to stay indoors on days like this. Look what he's missing!" He waved his hand vaguely around, taking in the scene around him. "And where's Arwen?" he added. "It's not like her to miss an opportunity to see her darling Estel."
Elladan and Elrohir gave Aragorn identical smirks. Aragorn glared back, still somewhat embarrassed by the fact that he had fallen in love with his adoptive sister, never mind that he hadn't ever seen her as a child. His brothers had been somewhat shocked at first, but now they were taking everything in stride, turning the situation (as usual) into more opportunities to tease their little brother. "She happened to inform me that she was going riding with one of her friends today," Aragorn retorted. "She assured me that I would enjoy myself more if I went with her, as you two would undoubtedly spend the entire day teasing me otherwise. I had hoped better of you," he continued, assuming a nobly suffering face, "but I see now that there is no hope of redemption for…" He stopped. It wasn't any use, as Elladan and Elrohir were only laughing at him, not listening. Aragorn groaned in mock disgust and turned the other way.
That's when it happened. As Aragorn was looking towards a grove of trees, a beautiful woman stepped out of them. Aragorn stared at her in absolute shock, wondering where in the name of the Valar a woman like that had come from.
The woman was dressed in a ridiculous gown, maybe suitable for some extremely formal ceremony, but completely and totally unsuited to walking outdoors. It trailed down to her feet and pooled on the grass around them. Aragorn was unable to imagine how she managed to walk without tripping. The gown was practically dripping with golden embroidery, from everywhere to her (extraordinarily low) neckline to the trailing sleeves (which were large enough to hide enough supplies for a small army, in Aragorn's opinion) to the hem lying on the grass. The dress was a striking shade of green, which, as Aragorn saw when the woman looked directly at him, matched her eyes. On anyone else, the costume would have looked utterly stupid and completely overdone. On her.. well, it did look overdone, but not as much as it should have. It did manage, though, to give her a completely artificial look.
Elladan and Elrohir had stopped laughing at Estel now and had joined him in staring at this strange woman. She appeared to decide about something, then, and in a movement that should have been impossible, she delicately raised her dress over her feet and ran towards them. Her slippers (they could not truthfully be called shoes) were also golden, and as she ran, Aragorn noticed her hair streaming out behind her. It was very long and very blonde, and was slightly waved. Aragorn was now beginning to be disturbed by everything about this…person…and, judging from the looks exchanged with his brothers, he wasn't the only one.
She arrived near them, breathing heavily, yet remaining elegant. Too elegant, as a matter of fact. She was, Aragorn decided firmly, creepy.
"Are you of the Elven city of Rivendell?" she asked them. Her voice, like the rest of her, felt artificial. Too perfect. Now that she was closer, Aragorn could see that her skin was so white that this must have been the first time in her life that she had seen the sun. Her eyes were very large, as well as being an odd shade of green, and she was looking at the three brothers as if their answer could mean life or death to her.
"Ah… Yes, Rivendell is our home," Elladan answered cautiously. "May we be of assistance to you?"
The woman let out a sigh of relief, nearly collapsing at their feet. "Thank the blessed gods for that! For many moons I have traveled, enduring hardships beyond measure to reach this city. Were it not for the fact that I was fated by the gods to reach this place, I should have died a thousand deaths!" She clasped Elladan's hand fervently, gazing at him in adoration.
Elladan, at that moment, looked as if he would like nothing better than to flee for his life, or to deal her those thousand deaths she should have died. And it was quite clear to anyone used to reading Elven expressions that he did not believe a word of her story. Traveled for many moons? Endured hardships beyond measure? Fated by the gods? In that dress? With this insipid… personality? He was too well-mannered to show this for long, though, and when he recovered, he made a slight bow to the strange woman. "I am glad that you have, ah, survived your hardships to find your way here," he said carefully. "The Last Homely House lies very near. Perhaps you would wish to speak to Lord Elrond?"
The woman smiled at Elladan, gazing into his eyes. "You are so wise, sir! That is indeed my destination. Please, I must speak to the Lord Elrond. He will know me and help me. I am certain of it." She let go of Elladan's hand in order to stroke a locket hanging about her alabaster neck.
Elrohir spoke, in suspicion. "Lord Elrond knows you? May I inquire from where?" If their father knew someone like this, Aragorn felt fairly certain, Elladan and Elrohir would know of it.
"He may not recognize me, for it was a long time ago," the woman said, hesitantly. "But he will know me upon hearing my story. You see…" She paused, gazing about her before turning her eyes back to the three brothers. She spoke again, her voice oozing with a false sweetness that had to be heard to be believed. "My name is Tialendalianora. The Lord Elrond is my father."
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So… What thinketh you? Please feel free to point out any grammatical or spelling errors you noticed. Or any errors whatsoever. And just a general thanks to anyone and everyone who takes the time to tell me that they read this!
Oh, and if anyone can tell me how to make my profile format normally, I will be very grateful. Because I'm computer illiterate and it looks weird to me right now…