Chapter 5
"Now why would it be best to leave you alone?" He knew he was goading her.
He was right. That simple question got the reaction it wanted. "You want to fight? Fine then, here it is." she replied in a low menacing tone.
"I have not lead that happiest of lives. It seemed to me that there was a pattern. Whenever something good would happen, something equally horrible would be sent my way. I finally thought that I was on a even playing field with everyone and everything."
She let out a maniacal little giggle that sent shivers down his spine. He was in for the long haul though. He had seen to that himself. She continued without looking at him but concentrating more on the ice in her drink as if she could see what she was saying.
"I had found the one person that could make me feel normal. The one person that wouldn't let me get away with my bullshit but still respected me. I found someone who didn't raise me higher that I was but treated me as me. He loved me unconditionally. He was the one person that could make me calm when I thought the whole world was falling down around me. I can't count how many ledges he talked me down from. I had my own personal angel. That is until he gave up on me. I don't think I can make you understand how much he meant to me. He still means so much but I am not allowed to feel that way. It isn't right." she said as the tears began.
"My job is complex. I disappeared for two years because of it. We were so in tune to each other. Our souls were wrapped up in one another. He had to have know somewhere inside that I was still alive, that I would not leave him behind for anything in the world. I was wrong, he moved on without me. He married someone else and now that I am back, I am the one who has to deal with it. Do you believe that! I am expected to just deal! I don't know how to be without him. I never thought I would spend each minute without him. Everything happened so fast, one minute he was mine and then the next, he was gone. I live with the fear everday that I'll never get to see his face again, and what images of him I do have in my mind are starting to fade. I want him back so badly but I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone, least of all his wife. What did she do wrong?Tell me honestly, should I have to deal with this when I don't have the first clue how to?"
He looked at her trying not to let her words affect the emotions coming through on his face. Just looking at this woman, no one would every guess that she had such anger, fear and guilt bottled up inside. He couldn't speak. He knew that the moment he opened his mouth that would be the end of him. Not waiting for an answer she continued.
"If you want the truth, here it is. I am damaged goods. I am useless. I am here on this earth to finish what I started and that is it. There is no happily ever after for me. Do you understand?"
The tears continued to fall freely and she had spoken so softly that he had to strain to hear her. He finally found a way to speak and decided that he would go for the gold and ask the million dollar question knowing damn well that he already knew the answer.
"Who could love you that much and stand to see you in this kind of pain?"
Cold, lifeless brown eyes met fearful green eyes as she said,
"Why don't you tell me."