Chapter 1: WTF?

What the fuck?

Virginia Lauretta Weasley, more fondly known as Ginny, was lying on a sofa in the Gryffindor Common Room, and had been chewing the tip of her quill, hoping for inspiration on the subject of troll wars for her History of Magic paper, until she suddenly realized everyone in the Common Room was laughing………………..at her.

She got up slowly, wondering what the hell was wrong with everyone today. Everyone including her brother, Ron, her best friend and Head Girl, Hermione Granger, and Her-Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter. Oh shit, Ginny thought frantically, I did not just think that. I don't like him that way. He's the okay brother I never had.

In the time she had taken to identify those people closest to her in the room, Hermione had pushed her way through the crowd and, still giggling herself, whispered in Ginny's ear, "Ginny, your blouse! The whole House is getting a free peep show!" Ginny had been wearing a lacy baby-blue bra which revealed much more than necessary, under her Oxford uniform blouse.

Ron, who had gotten over the shock of seeing Ginny's bra, having witnessed several similar images at home, proceeded to beat the living daylights out of every boy who dared gape at his little sister. Harry, who had been staring open-mouthedly for all of sixty seconds, had finally decided Ron's course of action seemed the best of all, and began, also, to give any wide-eyed boys two matching black ones.

Ginny, whose face mirrored the color of her hair, had buttoned up her blouse, and grabbed Hermione's hand and made a dash for the co-ed bathrooms that were one of the 'privileges' of sixth and seventh years. She cast a quick Locking and Silencing Charm on the door to make sure their conversation would be uninterrupted and un-eaves-dropped-upon. Then she turned to Hermione.

"Can you believe what A FUCKING FOOL I JUST MADE OF MYSELF?" Ginny's croaky voice grew to a full roar.

"Ginny! A-Don't swear. It's bad for you – and B-It's not as bad as you're making it out to be." Hermione tried to say reassuringly, "So you flashed a few people a glance at your bra. It could be worse. You could have been wearing not-so-sexy-supportive-garments. – and C- alright, so I can see you're upset, it would take a really thick wanker not to see that. What I don't get is why you're upset about some kids seeing some of your chest. I mean, even Hagrid's seen it-remember that time that it rained on the way to his hut, and you were wearing a white top? So what's the fuss?" Hermione now paused, looking ever the psychiatrist as she tilted her head to the side, waiting for Ginny's response.

"SHIT! A-Swearing is healthy, it's a form of releasing stress! And I said shit just to annoy you," Ginny grinned at this, she had always enjoyed swearing in Hermione's presence, as it annoyed her no end. "B-I would rather have been wearing a sports bra so no one would have seen my nonexistent cleavage! Besides, when have was the last time you even exposed your belly button, let alone your chest!" Ginny said, thinking Take that Hermione, you know it's true! -and C- Hel-lo? Do I need an excuse to be just a tad bit embarrassed that THE ENTIRE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM SAW ME UNBUTTONED! Moreover, do you not remember that obscure little detail that you lent me your extra-large sweater upon arrival at Hagrid's hut?" Ginny smirked in smug triumph, in having finally out-argued Hermione Granger, Head Girl, not to mention Cleverest Witch Of All Time.

Dear Lord, Hermione thought to herself, She's beginning to sound like me…Hey, is that what I sound like? No wonder people doze off when I open my mouth…Oh yeah, back to her problem.

"Ginny darling," Hermione began to drawl, "I love you, but if you really want me to give you my psycho-analytical advice, you're going to hafta be completely honest with me." Hermione put extra emphasis on the honest and gazed straight into Ginny's eyes, a trick she picked up from her aunt (one of those FBI people who interrogate Muggle criminals in those dark rooms with just a single old kinda lamp hanging from the ceiling-(A/N: y'all know what I'm talking about, right? If not, you need to watch more tv) and Hermione learned all her psychologist techniques from her). This little action was 82 effective with friends and family, Hermione herself could attest to that, having used it a few times on parents, teachers (well, only Flitwick, and that was only extra credit! No really!) as well as unsuspecting Ron and Harry.

You see, Hermione knew Ginny was hiding something. Something she thought she was concealing very well from her BFF. But she was dead wrong.

Ginny knew perfectly well what Hermione wanted to know. Hermione had had for the longest time, this ridiculous impression that Ginny had a crush on Harry Potter. Of course, Hermione couldn't have been more wrong. For Ginny was 100 positive it was Ashton Kutcher (Ginny had picked up one of Hermione's Muggle magazines, and instantly fell in love) who was her soulmate. It was completely and totally brown short cropped hair and matching eyes that she was goo-goo for. How ridiculous was Hermione for suspecting it was someone with scruffy black hair and laughing green eyes, accompanied by such kissable lips and abs of steel (don't ask how Ginny knew they were steel) that made her sigh and daydream.

And of course, Ginny let Hermione know exactly that.

The funny thing, or rather strange thing was, Hermione didn't gravely nod her assent or even give Ginny a roguish wink to indicate her agreement. Instead, her eyes began to twinkle and moments later she was on the floor laughing her ass off.

"What? Why is that funny?" Ginny demanded.

"D-d-denial!" Hermione managed through gasps, and then returned to rocking to and fro with mirth.

There was a sudden rapping on the door. Ginny suddenly remembered they were in a bathroom that was supposed to be co-ed and available to all.

"OY! We made an allowance for your girl talk for over an hour, but now we really are in need of Hogwarts' facilities," a muffled male voice from outside the door said.

(A/N: what do you think? This is my first try! I've decided not to post my next chapter until I get at least: ………………………………………...

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 6 REVIEWS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!