Hello again, everyone! And again, thank you all so much for all the positive reviews I'm getting! I laughed so hard reading your parody Suethor-review, Nienor, and I definitely did enjoy my Japan trip. Thanks for mentioning it!
Let's see… Even though it's completely unrelated, I'd like to know what everyone's impressions of the newest Harry Potter novel were. After you read the end, that is. Personally, I'm pissed off, but… Whatever. So if anyone wants to include their opinion in their review, I'd like to know. Or if you want to email me, that's fine too.
Okay, enough of that, or I'll get back into my bad mood. Erg. So now I offer up, for your enjoyment, the next installment ofAttack of the Mary Sues.
------------------------------------
As expected, the supper was a complete fiasco. Arwen ended up sitting by Lianora, as she was the only one who didn't threaten to put up a fight to the death at the very idea. By the end of supper, Aragorn was amazed that she had managed to keep herself from murdering her "sister." If looks could kill, though, he thought wishfully to himself.
Lianora had permanently earned the lasting resentment of the entire family. Elrond would quite happily have chucked her into the Brunien at this point, had Glorfindel not (albeit regretfully) reminded him that such an action would not have done any good to the tenuous relations the Elves of Rivendell maintained with the humans in nearby villages and towns.
Most of what Lianora had said had passed through Aragorn's mind leaving nothing other than a sense of disbelief and, occasionally, disgust, but one topic of conversation had left him with a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Will you be staying here long?" Arwen had asked, a not-so-subtle hint that her dislike of the unnaturally beautiful being seated beside her was growing rapidly.
"Oh, I am sure I cannot say," said Lianora, daintily wiping the edges of her mouth with a napkin. Her new outfit for dinner was actually a full-court dress that had been supplied to her by the Elves, and it was a wonder she managed to navigate around those sleeves. Aragorn suspected that the dress was many years out of style, and that she had only obtained it by rejecting several other (more sensible) gowns that had been offered to her.
"I do intend to become fully acquainted with my new family, of course," Lianora continued, "but I fear I cannot stay forever. Oh, do not be sad," she cried, misinterpreting the glance quickly exchanged between Elladan and Elrohir. "I will stay as long as I possibly can, fear not! But I must tell you, for some time now, my sleep has been troubled… But troubled is not the word! My sleep has been… filled with visions of a man, the man I am fated to love and marry! He is a man, or perhaps an Elf, for I am not sure which, of exceeding beauty and kindness. His hair is long and golden and his eyes are a strong and stormy grey… I often see him armed with a bow, defending me from the evils of my childhood… I fear I cannot do him justice, though, with my meager words. He must be seen to truly understand his greatness, his superiority, his… perfection…" She trailed off, gazing dreamily into space. Meanwhile, Aragorn's skin was crawling. Long blonde hair? Grey eyes? Armed with bow and arrows? That description, although it could fit many Elves, was a perfect fit to one that he knew very well and would never willingly see in the grasp of the creature sitting across from him…
"You see," said Lianora, a blissfully happy smile across her perfect face, "this unknown man or Elf is my future. He is the love of my life! At some time, I must leave here to seek him out, for I can never be truly happy without him! And I am already seventeen! You understand, soon the bloom of my youth will fade, and I must find my love before then. Unless…" she paused as a thought struck her. "Unless there is an Elf matching that description here?"
There were several Elves who matched that description in Rivendell, even if most of the Noldor Elves were darker-haired. "No one whatsoever!" said everyone, at the same time.
"Oh. What a shame, then," said Lianora. "But I will return here with my love once we are acquainted! And it cannot take too long, for I shall know him the instant we set eyes upon one another, that I am certain of." With that, the topic had changed, and the supper continued.
Lianora had claimed fatigue shortly after the completion of the meal, and retired to her bed. No one had been sorry to see her go. And now they all sat, gazing at the stars, silently contemplating the eerie woman who had entered their lives.
After some time, Elrond spoke. "When she described the 'love of her life' earlier, did that strike you as a fit for anyone in particular?" His voice was carefully neutral, but the his sons had no difficulty detecting the slight touch of fear or worry that it carried.
There was a pause. "Glorfindel told me that he was blessing Illuvatar and all of the Valar that he had blue eyes instead of grey," Arwen offered. Another short silence fell. Then Aragorn, seeing that no one else wanted to speak and fearing the worst, revealed his suspicions.
"It is a perfect fit for Legolas," he said softly, fearing greatly for his friend. He heard four gentle sighs as the Elves around him all released their breaths.
"Yes," said Elrond, even more quietly. "I thought so too." There was another slight pause. "I think," the lord of Rivendell continued, "that we should agree to never mention him in her presence. And that we should make every effort to figure out where she came from so that we can send her back."
"Do you think we should send messengers to Mirkwood, warning Legolas not to visit?" asked Elrohir. Aragorn suddenly sat straight up and cursed.
"Language, Estel" said Elrond mildly. "I take it that he was planning to make a visit here sometime soon?"
"Yes," sighed Aragorn regretfully. He had not seen his friend in quite some time, and had been looking forward to their reunion a great deal. "We should send a message as soon as possible… If she is determined to ensnare him, as she certainly seems to be, then he ought to keep as far away as possible from her. I get the impression she would stick to something she wanted like a leech until she had it for her own."
Everyone contemplated that unflattering description of their guest and found that it fit her perfectly. "Very well," said Elrond, rising to his feet. "I suggest that we send our messages at first light tomorrow. Until then, I suggest that we devise ways to avoid the lady Tialen… whatever, for as long as possible."
------------------------------------
Time passed. Legolas received the warning letter written to him by his friend and sent another back, laughing at what must have seemed to him an unreasonable fear of a mere woman. It was difficult to portray the horror that was Lianora in writing. Nevertheless, he did not make his proposed journey to Rivendell, and although he sorely missed his friend, Aragorn could not shake the impression that he had saved the Mirkwood Elf from a fate worse than death.
Messages to surrounding villages produced no results, and when they attempted to get some description of her birthplace from Lianora herself, they were met with tears and wails. Even when Elrond (after Arwen begged and pleaded with him to help, as Lianora was driving her insane) pretended to be attempting to "regain his memories" of her mother, Lianora protested that the telling of such things was too painful for her. It was eerie. As far as anyone could tell, Tialendalianora had appeared from the sky to wreak havoc in their lives.
Aragorn was becoming more tempted every day to rejoin the Rangers, just to escape from the mysterious Lianora who was turning Rivendell into a hell instead of a haven. Elladan and Elrohir were making plans to join him. Arwen was planning to run away to Lothlorien and her grandparents where she had spent most of her time during Aragorn's childhood. And Elrond, who had no excuses to escape his city, was becoming more ill-tempered by the hour.
Within days, everyone in Rivendell knew about Lianora. At first, everyone was mostly insulted, but after they met her for the first time, they quickly became amused. As they realised, though, that she was perfectly serious in everything she did and said, their amusement changed to pity for Elrond and his children, who had to put up with her almost constantly.
In an effort to help, all of the Elves became surprisingly ignorant of the whereabouts of anyone Lianora was asking about (usually Arwen, as Lianora had leapt upon her "sister" as her closest confidant, much to Arwen's horror.) Many of the petty matters that Elrond had previously dealt with mysteriously disappeared, leaving him more time to use as he chose, and he chose to spend it as far away from his alleged daughter as possible. No one questioned that. They had seen her, especially the way she acted with her father.
Although she would not speak of her hometown, Lianora spoke constantly of her mother to Elrond, trying to "rekindle the flames of his lost memory," as she put it. Elrond remained firm in his position. Unfortunately, Lianora seemed incapable of taking the simple hints that she was being given. She failed to realise that Elrond did not appreciate her continued attempts to convince him that she was his long-lost daughter, and she failed to realise that, far from wanting to become the best of companions, his sons and daughter wanted nothing to do with her. Therefore, she continued to annoy them more and more. Arwen devised new ways for her to die every night.
Little did they know that Lianora's arrival in Rivendell was only the beginning of the greatest and most terrible trial of their time…
------------------------------------
Meanwhile, in Mirkwood…
------------------------------------
Hmmm… Cliffhanger! Actually, that's quite cruel of me, because I leave Sunday for a two-week music camp. I might be able to post a chapter while I'm there, but frankly, I doubt it. So don't go away, I will come back. I promise!
As usual, I love all of my reviewers, so please say hi and make my day. Suggestions, compliments, criticisms, and random shrieks of terror are all appreciated greatly.