Disclaimer: I do not own anything!! I swear!!

A.N.: Hello all my awesome readers and reviews. You guys rock!! Especially Mistina and xxxsapphiretearxxx, and I guess Fun-wait let me get this right… FuNnY cIdE is pretty cool too. Just thought I would get that out of the way first.

So were you worried? You didn't actually think I would kill Sirius off did you? I mean duh he's the main character!! But wait maybe I will and Peter will make a come back and be the new main character! lol! Just kidding everybody, nothing to worry about. So new chapter. Um, I think it's okay. The next one I think will be more interesting but this one is still good. For those of you who do not appreciate the creativeness and thought that goes into my well planned descriptions (Funny cide) then I am sure you will be glad to know that there are more of them in this chapter. Okay just kidding I don't actually plan out or even think too much about them. I just write em. So if you don't like em don't read em. But I don't think even you will mind these Lynelle. Thanks all and please review. Peace out!

Chapter 4

The next morning Sirius woke, stiff and tired, but quite painless. He blinked at the early morning light streaming in through the window opposite him.

"Ah, it's too early to get up," he mumbled. "Someone shut that light."

When he finally brought himself to lower the blankets from over his head, he saw that he was not in his dormitory at all, but in a large room he recognized eventually as the hospital wing. The early morning sun filled the room and gave off a cheery light, but the overall mood in the room seemed quite tense and worried.

He noticed finally that he was not alone in the room as he had first thought. Behind a door at the far end of the chamber he could hear a voice which undoubtedly belonged to the matron, Madame Pomfrey. She was loudly tutting and fussing over something as usual, but what, Sirius could not tell. Also his bed was surrounded by none other than James, Remus, Lily and Summer. Lily and James were settled together in a large armchair, Lily's head against James' breast. While Summer and Remus were seated in two chairs beside each other, Summers head on Remus' shoulder. All were fast asleep.

He wondered why they were all there and why indeed he was there. The last thing he remembered the night before was himself and Riley engaging in a playful pillow fight. Also present in his mind though, were short bits of memories that he wasn't quite were dreams or reality. He could remember his friends' faces, pale and worried, begging him not to faint not to, die, and pain, excruciating pain, and blood red as death. He tried to remember the night but the more he wondered the more the memories seemed to fade and he could remember no more.

As he glanced around again he wondered where Riley had gone. He wondered why she had left him. He could feel his heart longing to see her again, longing to hear her voice. It was an odd sensation. He was worried about why he was in the hospital ward and how he had got there, but he knew if he could only see her face, he would be okay. He remembered her face, clearest. Tears streamed down it as she stood pale and ghostly. He knew she had been there, but why did she leave? She had been with him, never leaving his side, but now she was gone.

He tried to brush his long hair out of his eyes but found his hand was held tightly. He turned his head slightly to the left and saw that it was grasped rigidly in the grip of Riley. When he saw this his heart, dashed and worried, lighted and he smiled. She hadn't left at all, and the part of his heart that knew she would never leave, was glad.

Her grip was tight from worry and anxiety and her knuckled white. Her hands were warm, but for the very tips of her fingers that stung his own hand lightly with chill. Her head rested softly on the edge of the bed, eyes shut, hair messy, and face slightly pale but still her cheeks glowed softly pink. He thought she looked beautiful as ever as she lay there. Sleep did not hide her worry but gave her an innocent pure look like a young child and Sirius watched her lovingly and longingly. He wished he could watch her sleep every night.

He reached his other hand over and lightly touched her face. It was warm and soft. She stirred slightly, eye lashes fluttering for a moment. Then suddenly her eyes popped open with a flash of hazel and she woke with a jump.

"Sirius," she said quietly but startled and surprised. "You're awake."

"Yeah," he grinned, "I just woke up."

"Are you okay?" she questioned. "Last night was awful."

"I know, but I don't remember any of it," he replied, still aware that his hand was still clutched in her own.

"You don't want to," she said looking away from his eyes. "It was awful. You almost… died."

He looked at her. How could he have ever accused her of leaving him when she was clearly so worried and shaken over what had happened. He eyes, still fierce, were also warm and relieved to see him awake and well. He knew though they had only truly been friends for maybe a day, she cared greatly for him, as much as James and Remus did.

"So," he said breaking the silence, "shall we wake them?" He nodded at the others still sleeping soundly and a wide smiled stretched across his face.

"I think we should," she replied forming a smile to match his.

The talked quietly for the next ten minutes devising a cruel but cleverly funny prank and when all was done there was no doubt in Riley's mind that Sirius had indeed returned to perfect health and insanity. The prank was sure to cause quite a rouse out of everyone. They didn't stop to think about how the other would react but launched right into their devious mischief.

"Oh my God!" she cried loudly. "Somebody, Madame Pomfrey! He's gone rigid and cold! I think…I think he-he's…dead!"

The others woke swiftly, jumped to their feet and rushed to Sirius's bed. They had all gone white and their faces held looks as if their worst nightmares had come true. Riley helped the situation along greatly, playing her role perfectly, weeping silently, tears streaming down her face, shaking as she had the night before.

"Sirius!" shouted James. The look on his face almost made Riley repent their joke. "Please God, no! Madame Pomfrey!" He was so pale and he shook more violently than any. Sirius couldn't be dead. Never. He was too strong, too brave, too loyal and loving. He couldn't be gone. James couldn't be without Sirius, he could never live without him.

The matron came running as fast as her short legs could carry her. "What is this nonsense? Who's dead? Surely not him…" She trailed off when she saw him. Sirius did play the part of death very well.

"Oh my God," muttered Lily who had once again wrapped her arms lovingly around her cousin. Riley herself was laughing into Lily's shoulder, but her cousin thickly mistook her laughs for cries of fear and sadness.

Remus gripped the end of the bed tightly. His jaw was clenched and he was dangerously close to tears, as was James. He knew that if Sirius was dead it was all his fault. He was disgusted with himself as he looked upon his friend's falsely dead body. No he was not disgusted, for it was too fair a word. He hated himself. He hated himself so much. Words could not describe the hatred that he felt in his heart. How could he have done it? How could he have killed Sirius?

Summer stood behind Remus. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shook it off. He didn't deserve it. How could he? He killed him. He killed him. Those words echoed horribly in his head. He did it. It was him. Remus couldn't stand it any longer. Tears leaked from his eyes and he turned away. He wanted to run, run away from everybody he loved and knew, and never be found again.

Summer looked at him. She saw his pain and hurt. She tried again to console him but he would not have it. She gave up and stared forlornly from Remus to Sirius' act on the bed. God life was cruel she thought to herself as she wiped a tear from her own eye.

Sirius himself could hardly contain the smile that was bursting to come out. His cheeks burned trying to conceal the jest but he couldn't hold it any longer. He opened his eyes and a wide grin formed across his handsome face. His laughs filled the room and all eyes, none still dry, returned to him.

"You!" shrieked Lily after a moment of stunned silence. "How could you? Look at everyone. James, Remus, Riley-"

"Hey, she's not innocent," he laughed.

Riley puller her face from Lily's shoulder and her mirth was revealed. Tears streamed down her face but they were nothing more than those of joy. "Your faces," she laughed. "That was awful."

"Yeah it was!" shot Remus. "How could you two let us believe you were dead? How could you do that to us, your friends?" He turned away and headed toward the door of the ward.

"Remus wait!" called Sirius. "I'm sorry." He was now somber. Seeing the pain in his friends' eyes made him regret the joke and filled him with much despondency. "James, Remus, everyone, I'm so sorry, I swear."

Riley too had fallen silent. Her expression matched Sirius'. She nodded her agreement to the room.

James looked solemn. He didn't say a word. He seemed both relieved and mad. But whatever it was that he felt, it seemed to be taking all his efforts to contain his words. He stood and left the room despite Lily's cry of, "James wait." She followed him out of the room and Remus left fast behind them. Last Summer left, with a last glance back at the cheerless and regretful expressions Sirius and Riley wore.

"Bad time for a joke," said Sirius, breaking the heavy silence with a sigh.

Riley nodded.

"Right you are, you horrible, foul, awful…" Madame Pomfrey struggled to find a word to call Sirius. "Boy!" She gave him a swift hit across the side of his head and stormed back to her office. "You're free to go!" she shot as she slammed her door behind her.

Sirius and Riley looked at each other and smiled slightly despite the situation.

"Shall we be going then?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah, let's get out of here," Riley replied.

The next few weeks went by in a blur of school and Quidditch and band practice and pranks, and for Sirius a dire longing to be more than just friends with Riley. Constantly she was on his mind. Her smile and laugh and voice were ever etched in his thoughts. He had fallen passed the point where he could doubt his feelings for her but still he couldn't bring himself to tell her because he was afraid she would refuse him.

They were friends now, amazing friends, like only he and James and Remus. They were together always, in class, in the common room, at dinner. They were closer than any brother or sister and that filled Sirius with dejection because he couldn't stand being so close to her and not having her and touching her and kissing her. It was driving him crazy.

"Ahhhh," he cried to James one afternoon.

He smiled at his friend. "Still haven't told her?"

"Nope," Sirius replied simply. He and Riley had managed to gain the forgiveness of almost all of their friends. James, Lily and Summer had let their anger at the cruel joke pass after they had spent an entire afternoon listening to Riley and Sirius beg and plead and make many ludicrous promises to regain their friendship. And to say the least, everyone was going to be receiving amazing Christmas gifts that year.

James had come back to himself very quickly, realizing he could not possible stay infuriated with Sirius. He loved him too much. They had been friends for as long as he could remember, even before their coming to Hogwarts, and everything about Sirius made James happy. He was so funny and kind and creative and strong, James could never be without him. He was more than a brother, he was a best friend greater than any other.

On the other hand, Remus still had not said a word to Sirius. He had tried many times to apologize to his dear friend and each time met Remus' back rather than his face. He could not count the number of times he had uttered the words I'm sorry and gotten no response. It hurt him not to speak with Remus and pained even more to know how much his stupid childish prank had hurt his friend. He feared the end of an age old friendship and knew that if it did indeed come to that, his heart would break.

"Why don't you just ask her out?" questioned James. "Just ask if she wants to go into Hogsmaede or something. I think she'll say yes."

"But what if she doesn't?" he moaned.

"Well you'll have to deal with that when you get to it, mate," James replied. He and Lily had been fully exposed thanks to the water prank, but James could not complain. Lily was his girlfriend. He had been dreaming of that moment since he had first lain eyes on her. He was the happiest her had ever been before.

"If she turns me down I'll kill myself, I swear," Sirius threatened.

"That's okay," smirked James, "then I would be the best looking guy at Hogwarts."

"Don't get too excited," Sirius said, "she hasn't turned me down yet."

"It's only a matter of time," James replied.

"Hey I thought you were supposed to be helping me?" Sirius proclaimed.

"I am," replied James.

Sirius threw a pillow at his head.

Later that afternoon Sirius went up to the heads common room to retrieve a guitar as he had a new idea for a song. When he entered though he found none other that Remus sitting alone, strumming away tunelessly on an acoustic guitar. At first he didn't hear Sirius enter but looked up when he said, "Hey."

He proceeded to turn away from his friend as if the greeting had been nothing other than the wind blowing outside the castle. Sirius was too used to this by now to let it bother him, so he strode wordlessly to the stand where his guitar lay and sat opposite Remus. He didn't look up.

"Look Remus," said Sirius, a knot in his stomach, "I know what I did was horrible and I know how much I hurt you, but what I know most is that I'm sorry."

Remus stopped his playing. Slowly, for the first time in nearly two weeks, he looked into Sirius' eyes. "You know what, Sirius," he began his soft and gentle voice holding a hard edge. "I don't think you do know."

"What?" asked Sirius, slightly taken aback.

"I don't think you really know how you made me feel," repeated Remus. He paused for a few brief moments and a tense silence hung. "I thought I…I killed you Sirius! Do you really know what that feels like?" he demanded at his friend and stood setting his guitar aside.

"Remus I…I'm sorry," Sirius replied with a new understanding of his friend's anger. "I'm just…sorry."

"How can you sit there and apologize? You don't know what I was thinking when we all thought you were dead! You don't know how guilty and disgusted and angry I was at myself!" Remus shouted. Sirius could see the hurt in his deep green eyes. "I thought you were dead, Sirius! I thought I had killed you! It was the worst moment of my life. You and James are the only people I have left that care about me. That love me and can see past the beast that I am…and to see you, dead…it's worse than you could ever imagine." Remus sat again, his voice softening as he spoke. His sandy hair fell across his face as he placed his head in his hands.

Sirius didn't speak, partially because he didn't know what to say and also because the image of both Remus and James' dead cold lifeless bodies, lying stiffly upon the unforgiving earth, had entered his mind in that moment. He could see how Remus felt now. He felt hurt, not just because of the childish prank, but because he felt that he really could have killed Sirius that night. He felt responsible for the wounds and near death experience that he had inflicted on his friend. He felt as if by loving them and having friendship with them he endangered their lives because he could not truly control the monster that he was. As Sirius scanned Remus, he could not shake the harsh new understanding of his friend's fears and pain from him. He knew that Remus lived daily with the terror, that one day, someone, some friend, would die at his vile beastly hands.

"Remus," Sirius said gently, "You didn't kill me. I'm fine. You could never truly hurt me unless you refuse to forgive me. James and I both love you and know you for who, what you really are. You are not a monster. You are kind and gentle and smart and loyal and brave and the best friend anyone could ever possibly imagine. Don't let yourself be in pain over an accident. We were all careless that night and if anyone should be blamed it should be me."

Remus looked up at Sirius. He knew he could never keep up this anger toward him. Outwardly he was so strong and handsome and brave, yet arrogant and cocky at most times. But underneath he was so hurt and imprisoned by his own pain and past, all he wanted was to be free. He was so much more loyal and gentle than any Hufflepuff. He was bolder than any other Gryffindor and more intelligent and knowledgeable than any Ravenclaw. The only way Remus could describe him was Sirius, Sirius Black. He was a rebel to his family, loyal solely to his friends, full of wisdom that none would ever deem him to have, more playful and fun loving than any child, and a greater friend than any other.

Remus looked up at him, his determined anger failing as he glimpsed that handsome face, framed with the ever consistent messily striking hair that was blacker than jet. His eyes, gray, surrounded by long lashes, held desperation, wishing only to reconcile the strife and tension between himself and Remus. His face held worry, as if it were bracing it self for a final blow of refusal. His lips were silently uttering the same words they had been for the past weeks. I'm sorry, they spelled without movement or sound.

"Sirius," Remus finally said and a gleam of hope entered the eye of his friend, hopping only that their friendship would not end in this last conversation. "I'm sorry."

Sirius now looked confused. "Huh?" he said quite forgetting the lengthy lessons given by Lily to impress on him that huh is not even remotely a word and that people with manners should say pardon.

Remus smiled. Sirius had a way of making not only him but everyone smile without meaning too. Whether by his charm, boyish and fun loving, or by his striking good looks, he never failed at the task to make anyone smile or more likely burst out laughing.

Sirius eventually caught the look on Remus' face and his own cheeks mimicked the suite and formed into a vast grin. Slight dimples appeared but Sirius always denied them.

"So you're sorry?" he smiled but still said with a hint of confusion. "For what?"

"For being a stupid idiot and not realizing how much I was hurting you in return," Remus replied.

"Oh," said Sirius. "Well. Since this is mostly my fault anyway, I guess, I could forgive you for being a stubborn ass."

Remus laughed.

A week later Sirius has still not managed to ask Riley even to go into Hogsmaede with him or on any date for that matter. But with the start of the Quidditch season he had good reason not to. His mind was focused on helping James pick the Gryffindor team. James was captain and he was assistant captain and almost all of the team had dissolved at the end of the last season.

"Okay, we still need a keeper," said James to Sirius and Remus. "You guys and Laine are our chasers, I'm seeker, Annsely and Jacob are beaters, but we still need a keeper."

"We know James," said Sirius much calmer than his friend. "I'm sure there's a keeper here somewhere."

"Yeah," agreed Remus, "but I don't think there is anyone who can replace O'Rielly. He's playing for England now I think."

"Don't say that. We need a keeper, a good one. You've seen how good the Slytherins are this year," James nearly hyperventilated. He had been obsessing over the house team for the last week and their lack of any sign of a talented keeper. Sirius and Remus were sure if they did not find someone soon James would be likely to be found drowning himself in a toilet. So all three boys had been looking tirelessly to round up any person they could to come to the team tryouts that day.

Sirius was sure they would find someone by now but still there seemed to be no one who could fill the gapping void that Thomas O'Rielly left when he graduated at the end of the year before. James' fanatics over the passed week were not only driving himself crazy but everyone else. Lily had even threatened to stop talking to him if he mentioned anymore tactics or game plans over dinner.

"Any luck yet boys," Riley's voice called across the pitch.

"None yet," answered Remus as she joined them, "but we've only just begun tryouts."

"Why do you have a broomstick?" questioned Sirius seeing what she held in her hand.

"I heard you were looking for a keeper," she replied cockily.

"Really," said James his face rising along with his spirits. "You're up next then."

"Johnnsen!" called Sirius. "You're out!" A small boy, who looked as though his dreams were shattered to pieces, fluttered slowly to the ground and walked off toward the locker rooms.

"Better luck next year!" called Remus.

"Let's go," said Sirius with a smirk. "This is going to be fun."

The three of them and another sixth year boy Jeffery Laine mounted and flew into the air. Sirius felt the cool fall air rustle his hair and he could smell the excitement only Quidditch could bring. James threw him the quaffle and he tossed it to Remus.

"Ready?" James called to Riley at the far end of the pitch.

"Me?" she smirked. "I was waiting for them."

"Well go then!"

Sirius, Remus and Laine had been playing together since third year and they could read each other amazingly. Remus dropped the quaffle down to Laine without even looking at him. Laine passed quickly to Sirius who smirked widely as he approached the goal Riley defended. He quickly threw the red ball to Laine who he saw out of the corner of his eye and flew ahead closer to the goal. Laine faked a pass to Remus ahead of him, but then turned his aim at the last second toward Sirius and hurled the ball into his outstretched hands. Sirius did not hesitate at all when the ball reached him but chucked it with all the strength he could muster toward the left goal post. He watched it soar and knew he had Riley beat. He was disappointed that they hadn't found a new keeper in her but smiled as he knew he had won their friendly competition.

"Are you dreaming over there Black?" Riley grinned over at him, ball held under her arm. "That was a pitiful shot!"

She threw it back to him. "Take another one."

He caught it, still amazed that she had managed to save the last one.

"Lucky save!" he shouted as he dove forward. "Let's see you stop this one!"

He threw the quaffle even harder this time, aiming now for the right post. But like a blur of color she was there and caught it gently in her hands as if the spectacular save she had just performed was nothing.

"Impressed yet?" she laughed at the stunned look on his face.

"Not quite!" he replied. "Let's see you do it again!"

In fact she had to do it 23 more times before he finally gave up. Every shot was either caught, blocked, or kicked away by Riley leaving all those watching and waiting for their own chance to try out, impressed and slightly disappointed.

"I think we've found your keeper James," said Remus joyfully.

He was grinning from ear to ear. "Right. Okay everyone, as you can obviously see we have our keeper so you can go now! But don't forget that there are still plenty of positions left in our cheering section! See you all at the first game!" The many disappointed faces scowled up at his joy. They marched from the pitch dissatisfied and upset, brooms slung over their shoulders, but nothing could dampen James' spirit.

As the team walked from the pitch Riley ran up behind Sirius, throwing her arm around him and said, "Don't look so disappointed about being beat by a girl." He actually wasn't disappointed at all, but was pretending as to gain perhaps a little sympathy out of Riley. But obviously none came.

"Yeah," agreed Remus, "it's nothing to feel bad about. She is very good."

"Hey," he laughed in return, "you got beat by her too."

Remus laughed too as he nodded. "I know."

James was on top of the world. "This is great!" he burst out. "Lily will be thrilled!"

Riley laughed. "Yeah, she used to cry all the time when we were kids and I beat her whenever we played. Good times."

Sirius laughed. "You and Evans were weird kids."

"Yeah," Riley agreed simply.

That night all but James were gathered at the Gryffindor house table in the great hall for dinner. He had gone to tell Professor McGonagall of the completion of the house team and set up a training schedule. The others ate hungrily the vast meal displayed in front of them as the Quidditch practice had given them quite an appetite.

"Wemus, pwass da podados pwees," Sirius said with his mouth stuffed full despite the sickening look he was getting from Lily.

"You know that's gross, right Sirius," she scolded with a frown.

"Wa," he nodded and continued on.

Riley smiled slightly.

"So where's Peter?" questioned Sirius after he had swallowed his massive bit of roast beef. "Hasn't been around much lately has he?" That was very true. Peter had been seldom seen in the Gryffindor common room and even in the boys' dormitories. He had not spoken a word to Sirius, James, or Remus since Sirius had harshly told him of his lack of musical talent. And his appearance with the Slytherins was becoming less and less of a rarity. The rest of the Marauders were beginning to wonder if kicking him out of the band had done serious damage to his brain. Why on earth would he want to hang out with devious sneaky foul Slytherin gits like Snivellus?

"He's down there," said Lily pointing down the far end of the table. He was sitting among some first years, quite an uncommon place for a seventh year, and Sirius was sure the only reason he was seated there was to put as much distance as possible between himself and the rest of his ex-band mates.

"Looks like he's found himself some new friends," smiled Riley. Remus frowned slightly at her. "Sorry. Just a joke Remus." His looked lightened. He and Riley had quite made up too. He liked her a lot. She was fun and creative and just a little bit crazy, a great friend. She was a bit like a female Sirius.

"Wonder why he hasn't even tried to make it up with us yet?" wondered Remus aloud.

"Probably got a thick head on his shoulders," remarked Sirius. "Don't worry about it. He'll realize all those Slytherins are gits soon anyway."

Their conversation about Peter ended there though because then James entered the hall smiling for some reason. When he reached the table he sat down and began to pile his plate with food.

"So…" prodded Sirius. "What are you so happy about? Haven't been snogging McGonagall again have you?"

James laughed. "Nope," he replied, "but I do know when our first show is."

"Really?" said Remus as James' excitement spread.

"When?" Sirius asked.

"Halloween," James replied simply. "Dumbledore told McGonagall and she told me. He wants us to play at a kind of dance thingy. Something new they decide to have instead of just the feast. They'll be costumes and everything."

"Sounds cool," said Remus.

"Yeah," agreed Sirius. "How many songs does he want?'

"I don't know," replied James. "Didn't really say. I guess about a six song set. Maybe an encore or two."

"Sounds good," agreed Sirius nodding. "Guess we'll be premiering Alive then."

"Yeah for everyone who can't already hear it," said Lily. "I mean if you have those amps turned up any louder they will probably hear you practicing in London."

"Yeah," agreed James between mouthfuls of food, "probably."

"Halloween is on Saturday," said Remus. "We'll need to come up with a set and practice it this week."

"Yeah," agreed Riley. "Let's get started."

A.N.: So what do you think???