Disclaimer: I own nothing!

A.N.: I'm so so sorry!! I've just been so busy lately, and not to mention fighting off a severe case of writers block, and it has taken me way to long to finish this. It's kind of short compared to the other chapters but I promise the next chapter will be longer and quicker and better. Thanks all for your patience and I hope this will make up for the long wait. Please r&r!

Chapter 7

It rained as they waited. But they didn't mind. In fact the large drops, initiating a throbbing twinge as they beat down heavily upon the inhabitants of the small platform, came as a great relief to one of the three Hogwarts students present. Riley actually saw them as a blessing for a cold unidentified reason. The drops, consisting of more ice than water, ripped frostily at her limbs and face and she took an odd pleasure in the fact that the beating rain was causing her pain. Lily beside her was trying half heartedly to escape the stabbing drops but Riley saw no reason to do so. She wanted to feel pain. It eased her grief.

Sirius stood at her other side. He watched her slightly worriedly as he had all the last day. She hadn't spoken since her screamed outburst as he had restrained her in the lake. She just sat staring, not crying, not shaking, just staring. Her face remained pale and ghostly but strong as to hide its grief and pain. She spent the day alone, in the solidity of her sorrow, but wherever she sought to hide, Sirius always was close by. He heeded Dumbledore's words closely and knew that to leave her alone would be a grave mistake after this great blow had shaken her so. He watched over her closer than a mother guards her child, wishing to be of comfort but not bringing any. When night came, she slept little and it brought with it no rest to the ache in her heart. And through it all Sirius watched, learning the true meaning of pain and knowing that no beating he had ever faced matched this unforeseen assault.

He had twice proclaimed that they wait inside the station but twice his suggestion met no reply from Riley. Lily had agreed with Sirius on both occasions but Riley did not regard either of their requests or even notice that she was being spoken to. She was consumed by the rain, the sting of it, the bite of it, the icy freeze it wrought on her exposed flesh. She loved this cold November rain as she had loved Mackenzie. She wanted to throw off her costume of composure and run through this biting rain, feel it all over her exposed body, run wild and free like the days when she didn't know fear, the days when she was still with her Mackenzie. She may have done so too, but there still remained but a sliver of rationality in her grieved mind which let her keep what others labeled sanity.

Sirius looked at her, white faced and shivering slightly, she was a miserable sight. Consumed by the bitter sweet sting of grief, she was a dying flower, bitten by frost and winter's murdering touch. Yet still she was lovely, sad and lovely.

"Let's go inside," he said gently placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You're freeing, Riley."

She looked at him with exposed and wounded eyes. He could see it. He could see everything. Pain. Hurt. Death. She held his gaze for only a few moments before he blinked and looked away. He couldn't look into such sorrow filled eyes, emotion, raw and naked.

"I'm fine," she said as she looked away.

Lily looked at her, a scared expression on her face. "Please, Riley," she sounded close to tears. "You're shivering like crazy. You're going to get sick."

She didn't reply. She didn't need to reply. They didn't get it. They couldn't understand. She was gone. Mackenzie was gone. It didn't matter. She didn't care anymore.

"Riley?" Lily continued with unsure hesitance.

"I'm fine," was the solemn answer.

Sirius and Lily exchanged a worried glance. "Please-" Sirius began but before he could finish the whistle of the approaching train sounded. An eerie doleful sound pieced the quiet of the platform and penetrated Sirius' ears. The usually cheerful note gave the impression of being distorted and disfigured beyond recognition and sent an unnerving chill through the soaking people awaiting the train's arrival.

The large engine, dubbed the Hogwarts Express, creaked uncharacteristically to a seemingly relieved stop. The short arrangement of variable witches and wizards queued quickly into a messy file to get out of the biting rain as quickly as possible. Only Riley seemed to be reluctant to leave her place of waiting and board the express that would carry her on a journey longer and darker than any other.

"Riley," Sirius said as she looked up at the train with almost a helpless expression on her face. "Are you okay?"

She looked at him once more. "I'm fine." Her voice held somewhat of a bitter chill that masked the pain that her eyes did not hide.

"Okay," he said softly as he gently took hold of her arm. She scanned him for a moment but did not pull away. In fact Sirius thought he saw a slight flicker of comfort in her eyes, but when he looked again it was lost. "Let's go," he continued. "It will be warmer on the train."

Her eyes filled suddenly once more with grief. "I don't think it will be," she replied miserably. "Everything is cold now."

Sirius looked away and a hurt silence followed.

"Come on," Lily broke the silence that hung heavy.

Riley nodded slightly, surprising both, and walked toward the train proudly bearing her wounds and loss. Sirius came after her and Lily followed last, worry still present in all her features.

They joined the fray of people pushing eagerly to board the train. A weathered conductor at the head of the line gave a few short harassed calls to order. The pushing slightly subdued and the people began to disappear into the train in a somewhat orderly fashion.

As the file in front of them began to dwindle, Sirius felt a cold and slightly trembling hand grasp his own. He turned to see Riley at his side. Tears streaked her face slightly and fell to the bitter earth. His heart nearly broke at the sight. These tears that slid almost gracefully down her soft cheeks were full of so much pain and hurt. These tears held within more grief than those that had been shed at the first news of her loss. She now had to time to digest what had happened and she didn't doubt it anymore. She knew, brutally she knew, that she would never see her Mackenzie again. She was beyond grief now. She was beyond irrationality now. She was nearly beyond the will to live longer, but as she held tight to Sirius she held tight to the one hand that still gave her reason to live.

He squeezed her hand tight in remorse as he fought off his own tears. He saw Lily, pale and cold, looking from her cousin to himself. Tears stained her own face. Her vivid eyes held their own grief at the lost life but more so they held fear and love for Riley. Both he and Lily felt like outsiders to the pain that the one they loved had to face. They both wished more than anything they could bare it with her, but knew she had to face it alone. So they stood at her side, one clasping her hand, one crying for her, and watched her shed her own tears, her own grief. They knew these tears could not be dried, save by Riley herself.

Sirius held tight to her as they stepped on to the train. He held tight to her as they walked down the narrow corridor. He held her hand with unwavering love as the found an empty compartment and entered it. He did not let go when they seated themselves and watched the rain break upon the window. He swore then that he would not ever, through all of his days, let go of her.

The train shuttered slightly and sprang once again to youthful life. Through the diffracting rain Sirius watched distorted trees and hills rush past their lone window. With each passing second he realized that they were carried closer and closer to the horrors that waited ahead. Weeping eyes, saddened faces, rigid black boxes, deep cold holes in the frosty earth, all fears beyond imagination. As his eyes strayed to Riley, head pressed against the window, he knew she had come to the same comprehension.

His eyes from that moment hardly strayed from her face, pale and tear stained. She had continued to weep silently as the seconds and minutes formed into hours. Their hands did not separate and he could feel the steady pulse of her broken heart as its beats reached a tiny vein in her hand. He felt and heard her breathing as she inhaled slowly and exhaled slower. He felt her tremble as she fought to restrain the tears dampening her face. He felt the warmth rush from somewhere deep within her body to her icy fingers and slowly warm them beneath his own chilled hand. He felt connected to her in every way through the single bond they shared, connected in every way but one. She could not be reached through her grief. It was hers alone, to bear and survive by her own will.

Lily tried futilely to be strong, to restrain her tears and her apprehensive fears. But her endeavor was to no avail as she let tears fall freely down her cheeks and worry consume her mind. After some time though, she had, however difficult, torn her eyes from Riley and tried to dry her own tears of remorse and worry. She had pulled from somewhere a book and restlessly tried to read it. Her eyes had scrolled but a few lines before returning to their favored spot upon Riley's face. She could not help but fear for her cousin. She knew how much this was eating away at the heart of Riley. She knew most how much this loss would scar her cousin. She doubted that Riley would ever be completely whole again. She had suffered so much already.

As the miles passed by almost without realization, the darkened sky overhead began to clear a little. The train rattled over the tracks rather happily at the sun broke through the heavy clouds and began to warm the lands about. Farmers began to emerge in their fields and birds flew merrily overhead. But however cheery the world around them seemed to become, their solitary compartment remained isolated and separate. The light did not penetrate the window and it remained dark and cold inside. Grief clung tight to its victims. Misery and gloom were draped about the compartment and veiled the joy that drowned the rest of the world. They alone remained trapped in an inescapable cage of sorrow.

Familiar scenes began to rush passed the opaque window, small villages and then larger cities, suburbs. Sirius knew London was near but the trip seemed almost non existent. He knew they had boarded the Express but after that everything was a blur of time and darkness and passing lands and tears and worry and Riley's face. Some time ago he remembered Lily offering him something to eat after the food trolley had visited. He had accepted the offer, however grudgingly. He remembered too asking Riley to eat something, but she had refused. He had been oblivious to almost everything else. He thought there had been a train conductor asking him if everything was alright, but perhaps that was only a fictional memory.

The one thing he did remember, was Riley. Her hand had not left his own. He had watched her face change color, finally reaching a shade of white that shadowed death. He remembered her grip tightening as the hours flew by and her body going tense with fear and dread. And then when he was staring to truly fear for her, as she was beginning to shake and tremble in her grief, he remembered pulling her close into his body and holding her shuddering limbs, trying to comfort and console her every movement. Her breathing had been sharp and heavy as she had settled almost naively into his embrace. He sang quietly into her ear as tears streamed forth once more. He remembered holding her and singing to her, comforting her in her grief beyond comfort until she had fallen, almost-child, into a restless slumber in his arms.

The train began to stop as Kings Cross Station came into view. The creakiness that had been present in Hogsmaede seemed to have evaporated along with the rain and chill. The Hogwarts Expressed rolled proudly into the station and stopped along side the platform reserved solely for it. A few people stood atop the platform engaging in cheerful conversation, something that Sirius had all but forgotten in the days passed. The inhabitants of the train began to stir and they could be heard gathering their possessions and making their way down the corridor.

Sirius looked down at Riley in his arms. He hated to have to wake her. On her face was a slightly peaceful expression yet her eyes were still red from the tears she had shed that day. Grief had taken its toll on her though. Dark bags hung under her eyes and her face held a thin worn look to it. She was deathly pale and Sirius was quite sure she hadn't eaten anything since Halloween night, now two days passed. He noticed also that she seemed awfully light and weak in his embrace. Yet as she slept she seemed to find a peace that was lost in her waking hours.

He brushed a stray piece of hair away from her eyes. He felt her soft and smooth skin beneath his fingers. Her lips were slightly parted and her warm breath lightly touched his hand. Her eye lashes fluttered faintly. He ran his hand gently over her face feeling the soft curve of her cheek bones. He remembered once wishing he could watcher her sleep every night. She always looked so beautiful as she slept and as he watched her he felt that same desire come back to him.

"Sirius?" Lily said quietly interrupting his thoughts as she watched him with contempt.

He snapped back to attention, back to horrible reality. Lily was looking at him weirdly. She gave him a look of confusion and reproach and he even discerned slight disdain. He held back a frown at the expression she wore. She didn't know how he felt for Riley, how much he loved her. She didn't know what had happened under the moonlight two nights before, and couldn't understand the hurt that lingered yet in his heart. She had James and was able to love him freely and passionately. He did not have Riley, though he wanted her more than anyone could possibly imagine. But he could not have her, and it nearly killed him to know that. Every time he looked at her and saw her beautiful face his heart broke over and over again and the pain it wrought in him was far greater than anything his past held. Yet still, he loved her, and would forever. Lily could never understand that.

He looked up at her and she glimpsed his exposed eyes. Her own look faltered at the sight of it. He looked helpless and hurt. She could see the love in his eyes.

She had always known him as Sirius. He was arrogant, egotistical and overconfident. He used to strut around the school with a head larger than any other, believing himself to be superior. He was continuously flirting and lying to girls to gain their trust and then dumping them when he got bored. He didn't know love. He had never been in love. She knew Riley too held her fair share of arrogant confidence, but knew that it could never compare to the conceit of Sirius Black. They had been attracted to each other when they first met, Lily had seen, and at that moment she had taken it upon herself to make sure Riley knew the real Sirius. She did not want her cousin hurt by the condescending Marauder. In the end, though her efforts may have seemed futile, Riley did come to know that real Sirius, and she had fallen in love with him. And he with her.

As she looked at the pair then, she understood. She could not see everything though. She did not see the hurt that had sprung up between them. She did not see the wall that held them apart. But she did see that love that entangled them both and knotted their fates into one. And in that moment of shared glance with the one she had once deemed unworthy, she gave her blessing to the relationship she now saw was inevitable.

"I...I'm sorry," she whispered and he understood. He gave a faint smile though it took effort to do so. She tried to do the same but found she could not and turned her gaze to the window.

Silence followed for a few minutes. It was tense and heavy. Sirius finally broke it, though reluctantly. "I guess we should get going."

Lily nodded.

"Should I wake her?" he questioned softly.

She nodded again. Her back was turned away from him and she quavered slightly. He guessed that she had started to cry again. He felt something growing in his heart. He labeled it sympathy, but he knew it was something more.

Gently he loosened his grip on Riley and lay her across the seat. When he was sure he had not disturbed her sleep he crossed the compartment and stood beside Lily. He did not speak for a minute partially because he didn't really know what to say…mostly because he had come to see Lily truly, as a friend, his friend. He could see why James had fallen in love with her all those years ago. She was kind and caring beyond words almost. She held such a love in her heart that it shone brightly through all of her features. Sirius knew that light, that love, knew no end and would shine through her forevermore.

"Lily," he finally said placing a hand on her shoulder. She did not turn to face him. "Lily I love her…I love her more than anybody else. And I know I may have said that before, but this is different, Riley is different…I don't know if you want to trust me, but you can trust that I love her, trust that I won't hurt her. I promise you, I will never break her heart. I will never hurt her."

She turned to look at him. Tears did streak her face. Her expression was almost unreadable but he saw sadness present in vivid green eyes which bored into his own. "I know," she whispered softly.

Sirius found himself, however inexplicably, pulling Lily into a quick embrace. He held her close for only a moment and stroked the back of her head gently. And in that tender moment they both came to appreciate the other and the bond that was friendship, which they had newly discovered in each other.

Lily broke the hold and turned away from Sirius. He watched her for a moment, but she made no motion that she wanted to further their conversation. He finally turned, with some reluctance, to Riley and knelt down to shake her gently from her slumber. She woke quickly as if jarred awake but then relaxed slightly as she saw Sirius' comforting face.

"Hi," she whispered oblivious to the volume of her voice. He thought she smiled slightly but with a blink that though was wiped from his mind as she looked just as heartrending as before.

"Hi," he whispered back as she sat up. He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I didn't want to wake you but we're here. How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think," was her placid reply. To Sirius it looked as though she was indeed feeling, however faintly, better. Her face seemed to hold more life within it than when she had fallen into her serene slumber and she looked less pale. She seemed also more composed and less uneasy. To those that hadn't known better she would have looked nearly normal, but to Sirius, who knew her well, she still looked forlorn and distant, pale and hurt. Grief had not left her and once it did, he knew it would leave a scar.

"Good," Sirius said truthfully. He noticed that Lily was at his side looking down at Riley.

"We should probably get going," Lily said softly. "Mum and dad will be waiting."

Riley nodded and climbed to her feet gracefully yet slowly. Lily looked at her. She looked rather weak despite her slight improvement and worry flashed across Lily's face. "Riley you have to eat when we get home. You look sick and pale. You're hurting you're self."

Riley scanned her cousin for a brief moment. For that brief moment there was a fierceness in her face as if Lily had challenged her. She looked as though she wanted to hurt herself, as if it would bring Mackenzie back to her. She looked as if she wanted disobey Lily just to spite her. But then that moment passed and the grief and sadness that had utterly consumed her returned and she looked weak once more. She nodded slowly to her cousin, though it looked as if it was an effort to do so.

Lily, whose look of worry had intensified in that moment, gave a slight sigh of relief at Riley's agreement. She loved Riley with all of her heart and knew it was her duty, as well as Sirius', to protect her.

She nodded back to Riley unable to hide that slight relief and said, "Let's go," and with a last look at Sirius, exited the compartment.

Sirius came after with Riley close at his side. They followed her down the narrow corridor and out onto the platform. It was nearly empty as most people had already passed through the barrier between the magic and muggle worlds.

"Shall I go first?" Lily questioned glancing at her companions.

Riley nodded and Lily, turning back to look at the wall in front of her, took a deep breath, walked forward with a nervous quickness, and disappeared.

When she was through Sirius said delicately, "Are you ready?"

Riley nodded but he glimpsed a slight hesitance in her eyes.

"We can wait a bit longer if you want," he said slowly, "if you're not ready."

"No," she replied, "it's not that."

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"It's just that…" she trailed off when his eyes caught her own.

"What?" he asked even more softly.

He felt his hand become enclosed in hers once more. Her eyes locked into his own for a brief second and then she looked away. When she spoke it was quiet and subtle. "Sirius…thank you."

"For what?" His voice this time had dropped to nothing more than a whisper.

"For everything," she whispered in reply. And to his surprise, she slowly straightened and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. After a silent moment she let his hand fall from her own and turned away. She walked toward the barrier and after only a second of indecision she walked proudly through the wall and into what horrors the hours and days ahead would hold.

A.N.: And review…