Title: Shades of Blue
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Star Wars and am not making any profit off this whatsoever.
Summary: Padme searches desperately for a trace of Ani in Vader's cold eyes during that fateful confrontation on Mustafar.
Author's Note: The segments in italics are flashbacks. Hope you enjoy!
Factoid: When babies are born, their eyes are a nebulous blue and then change to a permanent eye color later.
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MUSTAFAR SYSTEM
As the fiery lava raged around them, Padme faced her husband as something she never thought she would be.
A potential enemy.
Her veins were running cold, the warmth in them fading as Anakin's loving gaze turned distant and maniacal, his words passionate and frenzied. Her heart thumped painfully as she tried to find some way to get through to him, to reach her Ani.
"His eyes, Padme…"
Her mother's voice seemed to float soothingly through her heart.
"Always remember, the eyes are the windows to a person's soul."
She had always lived by that expression. And now she wondered if she might die by it too. Tears trickled down her flushed cheeks as a memory surfaced.
"Ani, do you know what color your eyes are?" she had asked, trailing soft fingertips through his hair. He smiled at her, a touch of amusement in his voice as he replied, "Sure. They're blue."
"Not just blue," she insisted. "Did you know that they change? They become the color of the sky when you laugh. And when you're concentrating, they remind me of laser beams. But do you know what my favorite is? It's when they turn the color of the lakes.
Because that only happens when you look at me."
She could feel Anakin's mechanical hand tightening, causing the bones in her hands to rub against each other. She winced slightly and tried to collect her thoughts. They were scattered and desperate, nothing like the calm, collected Senator the public was used to.
They were lying in bed, limbs entwined as if they could never bear to be apart again. Their voices were hushed as they spoke of their love and plans for the future. With a teasing whisper, he asked, "So, what color are my eyes now?" Pulling back slightly, she gazed at him for several long moments before responding, "They are the color of eternity." He had smiled and kissed her softly before they gave in to sleep.
Jerked back to the present, she wanted to scream, to rage at the unseen enemy that was stealing her husband. She pulled her hands free and fidgeted with the hem of her tunic, willing the right words to come to her. She needed to get him to look at her, to really look at her. Surely she would see some hope there – some sign that her Ani was not lost?
Choking on her desperation, she began to do something she never thought she would do.
She began to beg.
"Anakin, come away with me! Help me raise our child! We'll leave everything else behind while we still can!" she cried, the words thick with sorrow… and hope.
As the words reverberated through the stagnant air, she saw his jaw tighten, but he still wouldn't meet her eyes. Another memory sprang to her mind, this one more recent. She latched onto it greedily, even as the images and the promise they should have held burned a hole through her heart.
Reentering the bedroom, they were walking hand-in-hand, Anakin still trembling slightly from the nightmare that had left him so shaken. Sliding between the sheets, she watched as he hesitated and a questioning smile came to her lips. His eyes went to her nervously as he asked, "Padme, what color are my eyes? Right now, in this exact moment." She smiled warmly, placing his hand on her swollen belly as she promised, "They are the color of new life."
Her heart was shrieking in disbelief as she realized he was sinking deeper into his violent fog, now talking about overthrowing the Chancellor and ruling side by side. Did he really think she wanted that? That she would turn away from democracy?
Shaking her head imperceptibly, she simply waited for his gaze to return to her, deadly certain it would. For reasons she couldn't explain, she knew what she would see reflected there would determine the course of her very life.
"You're going down a path I can't follow," she realized disbelievingly, her voice barely a whisper. Fear infused her next statement as she once again pleaded, "Stop. Stop now. Come back, Ani – I love you! I love you!"
Hope stirred in her chest as she saw uncertainty begin to permeate his gaze as the madness dropped away. His eyes turned the color of laser beams and started to warm to the color she had always loved most of all - the deep blue of the Naboo lakes. And for that split second, everything was as it should be.
Until his gaze left her face for a moment.
Following the direction of his eyes, her heart plummeted when she saw Obi-wan. Reeling, she watched as Vader returned his attention to her and she knew immediately… her life was over.
She didn't try to escape; she made no move to retreat to the ship. Instead, she simply waited, barely flinching. She heard her voice cry out a final denial, but her soul was the one screaming in grief as he looked at her for the final time.
Oh Ani. What has happened to you? Where have you gone?
His eyes had changed to a color she had never seen in those eternally blue depths - the color of rage. The color of murder.
Acidic Sith yellow.
And in that moment, she knew she had lost. As she felt an invisible fist encircle her air pipe, her hands flew up in an instinctual bid for self preservation. Yet her eyes never left his, still searching for a glimpse of Naboo lakes.
But all she found was acid. And then the blackness claimed her.
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She tried to shrink away from the images that kept swimming through her mind. Anakin's beautiful eyes, forever marred by yellow pools of evil. She could feel his anger and hatred coursing through their bond and her resistance was draining her strength quickly.
A tearing pain coursed through her abdomen, bringing her back to consciousness with a cry, her voice weak and brittle. As it subsided, her head returned to the operating table and she felt tears trickling into the hair at her temple. Turning her face slightly to the side, she saw Obi-wan looking at her sadly while he spoke. She couldn't comprehend his words and only stared brokenly into his eyes. So blue. So similar... She looked away, stifling another gasp of pain as she heard a baby's cry break the pall that had fallen over the room.
Feeling a small ray of joy pierce her battered soul, she faced the baby boy and whispered, "Luke..." The hand she tried to extend fell weakly onto the bed sheets but she smiled nonetheless. Our son. Oh Ani... Fascinated, she watched as the infant was cleaned and wrapped in soft blankets.
As another pain ripped through her body, she choked out a hoarse scream. The war of love and heartbreak was tearing her apart, but still she held on. Sobbing gratefully, she watched as her daughter was brought to her side and somehow her voice was steady as she pronounced, "Leia." Ani, you have a second angel.
Aware that the Force was beckoning, she filled her gaze with one final image of her beautiful children. With a soft smile, she watched in awe as their eyes flickered open and they took in the world for the first time - their inquisitive stares as blue as the most beautiful lakes in the Galaxy.
And she knew there was hope.
With her last breath, she promised, "Obi-wan, there is still good in him. I know there is... still."
As her eyes closed, she pictured two pairs of innocent blue eyes.
The color of new life.
-FIN-