Disclaimer: I own…absolutely nothing, never have, never will, at this point its just fun to say.

Warnings: Nothing that has not been in earlier chapters, swearing, ext.

A/N: Yes I know, bad, bad writer but the flu will do this to you, bile and electronics don't mix well.

IMPORTANT- For those of you who would not remember references to the series accurately enough to help you here… mini spoiler The first one with Tai is when Tai has the crest of courage and force feeds Agumon and forces him to digivolve into something strange and unnatural then proceeds to flip out. The second is all taito lovers fav. Yamato and Tai right after the group was split up for the first time, molest…I mean fighting each other. Notes done, hope that helps (I had to go look it up actually .) so ON WITH THE SHOW.

Yamato wandered all regions of the digital land, never lingering in any one place longer than a night. Meals were easy to come by, foolish black hearted digimon that Yamato felt no empathy for did not cause him any pain to kill or the digital world any substantial loss. One less creature to stamp out the life of one not as evil as itself and not even for the purpose of survival, the mortal coil of taking death seemed lost to him in the endless lonely nights. For weeks he would travel until the cloths he wore became stained with the blood of his victims and his own blood sweat, and the heavy fabric tore on his inhuman frame that seemed to grow ever whiter as the nights passed. The almost vain Yamato of the past no longer existed, in place of the prince of darkness that shone beautifully for a heart he so longed to capture was now a dark vagabond with tangled golden hair as bright as the sun he rarely saw. It was not his state of dress that brought Yamato to Myotismons door for he would have gone until all the cloths fell off his body and still marched on in the never ending search for his lost love. It was the darkness he knew in life and now knew in death. His soul called out for another, for weeks he would ignore the steady call until it became too unbearable and his heart hurt with the very effort of living. On his own in the covering mask of darkness he knew it was Taichi his soul so desperately screamed for but that could not happen, yet his soul and heart would not listen.

At such a time when Yamato had nearly forgotten how to speak and he was dark as he had ever been and longing for death with every fiber of his being he came to Myotismons ever open doors. This was not forever, he would never let Myotismon take any place in his heart but he knew as a dieing creature knows its fate that if he did not let himself have this little comfort he would be lost and what hope would he be for Taichi and the others then?

Myotismon never gloated or shoved it in Yamatos face that he had been right, that every visit brought Yamato closer to him, bound them tighter though they both felt it. He only took in the raggedy boy and brushed out his soft locks, clothed him in the finest material he could find and allowed free rein of his castle. They would meet and talk together in their minds and with words, Myotismon only ever speaking with kindness to draw Yamato further into his clutches. They spoke of the real world and the digital world, the future and the past, they would speak until sunrise and Yamatos eyes would grow heavy and the death sleep would come until nightfall came to wake him. Two or three days of conversation seemed enough to ensure Yamatos sanity and he would be on his way.

Months passed in this horrible way with precious little to show for it. Yamato had visited nearly every place the little group of digidestined had traveled. He found nothing but old friends they had made in their travels, eager to talk to him but he always disappeared before they could get out the first words of greeting. With all leads gone dry and no special place to look Yamato was persuaded to tag along with groups of Myotismons men. Myotismon said it would be good for him to be with others even if it was not him in what had become their luxurious castle. Yamato decided that it would be best to watch the edge of Myotismons land, Taichi could be there, waiting to be found, unable to break in undetected.

Yamato led a large band of nearly mindless evil digimon under Myotismons control. He was a silent leader, always stepping back and letting the digimon do what they needed and then moving on. There had been no sign of any of those he had ever loved for months now, but miles of land lay unsearched and another world lay beyond this, nothing could convince him of Taichis death but the dead boy in his arms. So he marched on, staying out for longer spans of time with these groups of followers he learned to loathe. There was no beauty in Myotismons followers, they held no hopes or dreams of their own, they loved only pain and knew only serving their master and lord. But it was not his place to judge these damned creatures for he was the true killer, in all of their lives and all the murders they committed they could not begin to compare with Yamatos life as a vampire.

Yamato led the digimon deep into the unexplored jungle. Scouts had come back with reports of a building hiding under the cover of the trees just out of Myotismons land. It was another area, another place to look futilely for those lost.

The building was barely visible in the heavy foliage; as if no one was suppose to find the cute wooden building. In all the long months Yamato explored he had never seen any dwelling such as this, the most promising place he had seen. His heart fluttered with hope as his mind called out for taichi. He received no response but even the simplest magical barrier could account for that. Yamatos breathing quickened even as he tried to slow it, if this was another dead end he would be crushed and end up back in Myotismons arms. He could not afford to get his hopes up, he had to be the unfeeling bastard he tried so hard to be. But his soul would not listen; it rebelled with a force Yamato had not yet felt.

As the beautiful blond stood outside the little structure trying to calm his betraying body the digimon soldiers did what they always did when Yamato stood back. They had filed into the place minutes ago and now scoured the first floor of the building. Yamato decided the time was right and walked in the main entrance. The rooms were barren from what he could see in this grand hallway, cobwebs collected dust elegantly in the corner, this place felt more like a tomb than a home. His heart sunk in his chest and he felt that his strength might abandon him and he would fall to the floor when a scream resonated through the first floor. In a rush of motion too fast to see Yamato had found the source. Even with preternatural speed Yamato was too late, he came in time to see the twinkling scattering of data from a small creature that lay at the feet of his own soldiers.

In the last seconds of life a creature is simply what it is, all fear is gone because there is no alternative, it is simply to late for fear. There are images of a lifetime being remembered, voices and ideas shared and lost, and most importantly an overall feeling of good or evil or that confusing point in between. Yamato caught this wisp of fleeting life and tears rose in his eyes. This digimon was not the kind he fed on nightly, this was not a shallow evil creature of darkness but a creature of the light that resonated good in all its forms for the last moment that it mattered. These brutes that stood around him had killed a beautiful creature, a creature like his Tai.

Yamato was in a craze, he did not care that he had led these digimon or even that the only home left to him by Myotismon could be closed if he acted rashly. In a flurry of motion every last one of his soldiers was locked within the house, too dim witted to understand the true horror of what was going on. Yamato slammed the final door shut behind him as he walked out to the temporary camp and took up a torch from one of the little fires. In the blink of an eye Yamato lit the dry wood of the house, aiding the little flame with his mind until it sang with the crackle of burning wood. Piercing screams broke the night air as the digimon realized that they were being burned alive. Some called out for each other in something akin to love as others called out for Yamato to save them. Yamato could hear the thoughts of these simple minds, their masters' helper would save them, they were Yamatos men, and he needed them, their once human lord would save them all. Some perished thinking they would be saved as others realized the truth and begged forgiveness for something they could not think of as wrong, none of those begging even knew what they had done to invoke this fury. Yamato would have been horrified at the sight before him, haunted by the screams that filled his head but he was still fueled with rage and a reasoning that would hold in his impassioned state. If these creatures who killed indiscriminately had come upon taichi they would kill him with as much sorrow as they had killed the little digimon, if Takeru had fallen into their path they would think nothing of tearing the little body.

The fire licked up the heavy stairs but the screams had stopped for the most part. All of the digimon had been on the first floor, killed in the initial blaze of fire and heat. The fire was consuming the rest of the house now, fire danced out the windows and up the plain walls. Yamato turned away from this massacre that reeked of burning flesh and hair, willing to go off again by himself until the time came where he would need Myotismon once again but a fresh scream penetrated the night, a scream that was entirely different from those of the dying soldiers. It came again, as strange sounding as the first, a sound so familiar but so far away from him at the same time, the scream of a human. He would have lifted himself through the very window if he had had the chance but strong arms caught him up against a cold unrelenting chest.

"The fire will kill you too." Myotismon said as he struggled to hold the screaming Yamato. Matt could form no words at first, he was to horrified by the entire situation. There was a human bean in that building, the building he had set on fire and now they were trapped in it. No thoughts accompanied the scream, Yamato had been right there was a magical barrier on part of the house. He strained his godlike hearing trying to analyze the sound of the scream, match it to a voice and a face, hear the steady beat of a heart or the soft inhale of lungs that he could not hear over his own struggling and the collapsing house.

"TAI! TAKERU! ANYONE!" Yamato screamed at the house, desperate for a response and at the same time not wanting one, if it was one of his friends in the house…"Let me GO!" Yamato redoubled his efforts but it was no use, Myotismon was far to strong for him to take on by himself.

"It is no use, anyone in there is lost, there is nothing left to do but wait." Myotismon was right of course, Yamato would have died in the blaze too had he gone in after the phantom screams. No more cried came from the collapsing building, no hint or trace of life in any form. Myotismon stood with Yamato tucked safely in his arms watching the fire burn down.

"No…Tai…Takeru…let me go." Yamato sunk into the strength behind him and let himself be held up. There was nothing he could do but watch the fire eat at what remained of the little wooden house. There was nothing to hear but the crackling of wood, no smell but timber and singed flesh because there was no time for the bodies of the fallen to roast in the open flame before their data was scattered to the wind. It was almost an hour before Yamato felt the arms around him loosen.

Matt struggled not to fall to the ground, he stumbled forward straight into the heart of the smoldering ruins. He stood very still, willing something to tell him what had become of the person he heard or at the very least who it was but there was nothing. Scraps of material burned into nothingness around him, what appeared to have once been blankets, there had been multiple people here. Myotismon stayed away and for that Yamato was glad, he did not need an audience for his pain, his downfall.

When Yamato was sure nothing of consequence would be found and he was all but ready to leave something glinted softly from the blackened ground. A compass. Taichis compass. There was no way, Tai was not suppose to be in this world, not suppose to be alive, there was no way for Yamato to have killed him in this blaze. His mind spun and his body collapsed. It was not possible but he had done it, he killed the only one he ever loved.

The sun could have risen and taken him from eternity at that moment and it would mean nothing, Yamato would welcome the fiery blaze as his victims had not, hell, heaven, or nothingness, it would not matter. Hell would have been more comforting than to remain to have his broken heart destroyed for a second time. Yamatos knee hit something hard, something blackened with soot but undoubtedly green. Takerus hat. There was no pain, no sorrow or guilt, no comprehension that everything he loved in life had died by his hand. He did not even notice as he clutched the items to his chest and the evil little words fell from his lips.

"I killed Takeru and Taichi." Then there was nothing but darkness.

He was so warm he didn't want to move or let go of this beautiful feeling, he didn't want to wake but he could not remember why not.

"Drink my lovely one."

Something warm and savory rushed into his mouth, a wondrous fount of life itself. He could feel it warming him from the inside out, comforting him and lulling him into a daze beyond the reach of the world. Yamato did not feel himself moving or the blood flow stop but it must have because when he opened his eyes the world around him was different. This was not the castle he had glimpsed through the cloud in his blood lusting mind or the lush forest where he had committed crimes that no deity could ever excuse him for, this was the real world.

Yamato stood a little shorter than normal, the strange height of a child who has just gained the ability to turn on a faucet alone but suffers intensely in trying to turn it back off. He was in the house he shared with his family in the time he was truly this tall. For years he had not gazed on these walls but the details rushed back to him as if he had never left. The walls were cracked and dotted with holes from where things were thrown and opened up the brittle plaster or where his father had punched a hole straight through. Cloths and junk littered the floor; perilous little items that would slice open your feet if you were not careful. Somewhere a TV was blasting a movie that no one was watching but all were pretending to.

Everything felt so incredibly normal it was amazing to behold. Yamato walked through the house until he found them, his whole family all seated within a few feet of each other. His mother was on the computer in the other room while his father and Takeru watched the movie, ready to leap from their seats if need be, his mother was on edge. Matt smiled at the tense form of Tk; Takeru was alive and well and still needed him desperately. It took only a few idle seconds for the peaceful scene to blow, his mother up and screaming, gaining steam on a rant he knew she had been planning out in her head for minutes. Same as always. His father stood and started screaming back and Takeru who never seemed to get use to it was having a hard time breathing through all the tears and soft sobs. Yamato climbed up onto the couch and took his little brother into his arms. This was not a normal fight, this was the fight. For twenty minutes it raged on, Yamato protecting Takeru from poorly thrown objects with his own body, knowing it wasn't safe but not wanting to miss the inevitable, try to prevent it like he knew he could have if only he was smart enough. He wasn't listening to them anymore, it was the same as always, 'it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair'. Yes, Yamato wanted to scream at his mother, its not fair but is it fair what you are doing to us? She always fought through Tk and himself, couldn't she think of another way? And he did scream, turning his mothers viscous attention on him. Takeru was being ripped from his arms, he was sobbing again. Yamato called out to him that it would be ok, that he would be back soon even as he was pulled out the door by his fathers strong hand on his arm, but they would not be together again until years later.

No. He had to go back, it was his fault, he could have changed what happened, stayed quiet, stayed with Tk. But the world around him faded and the blood was back, warm and inviting as ever.

"Only a little while longer little one, hold on." Myotismons voice was heavy and deep like a caress and all it took to send Yamato back from the reality he did not have a chance to grip.

He was in the digital world, standing with the digidestined at his side as they watched a mutated Skullgreymon version of Agumon nearly crush them after having obliterated the actual enemy. Just before its mammoth foot crushed them into nothingness the creature dedigivolved back into the sane little yellow dinosaur they all loved. No one knew what to do, there were no physical injuries so care for, Agumon was tired but it was no big hindrance for a digimon that could bounce back in the span of three minutes. Despite this lack of injury, Taichi, their fearless leader was on his knees sobbing on the shoulder of his digital partner.

The others turned away, not wanting to let Tai know they saw him in such a state and not wanting to see their leader in a state of weakness. But Yamato could not turn away.

"Tai." Deep chocolate eyes looked up at him, glittering with tears whose counterparts flooded down the tan face.

"I'm sorry, I failed you." The voice was broken almost beyond recognition and it broke Yamatos heart to hear it. Watching Tai like this was like watching an angel fall from grace. "I'm sorry. I did not mean for this to happen. You told me but…I just wanted to protect you." Tai ducked his head and hid his face in his hands and Agumon took a seat near by, gesturing for Yamato to speak.

"Tai no one blames you." He dropped to his knees so he could more easily gaze into those sorrowful eyes. He wanted to say so much more but he just couldn't, it would be to hard to say that he could not blame someone he loves. "You did what you thought was best, we all know you were only trying to protect us."

"But you could have died, I risked all your lives and you told me I was wrong, you knew!" Tai sobbed, not really hearing what Yamato was saying. "And now you'll hate me because I'm a horrible leader, I failed you. Takeru could have died because of me and now you'll never forgive me." Taichi looked as if Yamato was about to hit him, Matt could see it in his face, Tai really expected the blows to rein down on his sobbing form.

"Tai listen to me!" Yamato grabbed Taichis shoulders and shook him gently until he was sure he had his attention. "I don't hate you and I don't blame you! None of us do!"

"Really?" Taichi sniffed a little, trying to stop the tears.

"If I hated you do you think I would be sitting here right now?" Tai looked surprised, he had not thought of it that way. The surprise faded and to Yamatos horror the tears threatened to spill again. He wanted to cry himself but before he could break down by looking on such a sorrowful sight Tai was in his arms.

"I was sure you would hate me Yama. I knew the others would forgive me eventually but I was so afraid I lost you forever. Please don't hate me. No matter what happens never hate me."

Tai had only ever through the entire ordeal thought of Yamato. During the fight he sought to protect not only but especially the blond and his younger brother. Then when all hell broke loose and the blame fell to Tai he was worried that Yamato would hate him. If the others hated him he could live with it, it would be no more than an inconvenience but if Yamato hated him, time itself would stop and the world would freeze in its path around the sun because life would be no more.

Yamato took a deep breath, he didn't want the moment to end, this beautiful memory of days gone by. The blood had stooped and a delicate hand was petting his hair, coaxing him back to this world long enough to convey a simple message.

"Once more my lovely one." Yamato could not refuse this help, to refuse meant to remember, to think, and dwell in this consuming darkness. A long white throat lay just in front of him, he could feel the vein pulsing beneath the skin. After all this time there was still blood left enough for him to drink his fill. Yamato sunk his fangs deep into the flesh and sucked greedily at the blood offered to him. His body latched on to the others but his mind was free to wander back to its paradise of broken dreams.

It was so cold here, the snow beneath his feet crunched menacingly, constantly reminding him that he was not dressed for such weather. Gabumon stood back at the mouth of the cave with Agumon, they did not want to come out, they hated it when he and Tai fought.

Taichi was screaming at him, it didn't matter what because everything he yelled back was meaningless bullshit meant only to hurt the brunette and hopefully distract him long enough to fix his cracking mask. Not once in this damnable world had his mask failed him and he would not let it fail now when everything seemed to depend on it.

He had no idea who threw the first punch but they were rolling around in the bitingly cold snow now, fighting for the upper hand that Yamato was quickly loosing. The same cold and sickness that was working on his mind was taking a toll on his body. It was only a matter of time before Tai ended up on top, fist poised to utterly destroy Yamato. At that point of defeat none of it mattered anymore, let Tai think he was weak if he wanted, anything to keep him from seeing the truth. Yamato felt the tears falling down his face because the wind made the comforting heat in them turn cold so fast. He closed his eyes, waiting for the fist that he knew must come but never did.

"Yamato…you're crying." Taichi was beyond shocked, Yamato Ishida was cold and uncaring and he would never under any circumstance show emotion, let alone cry.

That was all it took to break Yamatos fragile mental barrier. Secret after secret poured from his quaking lips. He worried about Takeru, his beautiful little charge who needed to be looked after but it was not just that. Without TK to look after what was left for him? Later Yamato would feel as alone as he ever did for having told Taichi this, for letting him know some real fact that made Yamato Yamato, but right then, weaknesses bared for the one he would never want to show weakness to, everything was alright, he was not so very alone. How shocked Tai looked to hear this outpour of emotion, he never even knew the cliff they were on was cracking until they were in free fall and he wrapped himself around Yamato instinctively, protecting the blond from any harm on impact.

How beautiful and painful a memory that was but still Yamato fought not to leave it. Painful though it may be it was glorious, Tai was with him then in more ways than he had been any day prior. It was then he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would never love any the way he loved Taichi Yagami.

"Sleep now my lovely one, everything is alright now." The deep soft words tore the fabric of Yamatos reality until there was nothing left. They sat together in the dark lonely castle Yamato had learned to call home, a chamber deep within its stone walls that Yamato had not ventured to before, Myotismons bedchamber. The fount of calming blood was gone and there was nothing to keep the flood of memories at bay, the smell of fire and singed flesh, the ashes covering the little hat and delicate compass, the scream of a human about to loose their life.

Night passed into day and the transition to the death sleep went unnoticed by Yamato. By the time the moon had risen the next night and the sun was safely hidden behind the digital worlds lush forest Yamato was closer to darkness than he had ever been. The deaths of Takeru and Taichi were not within his ability to comprehend, instead it was a constant source of pain and bewilderment but it was enough, even in the early stages of denial, to send Yamato from the physical world and end his immortal life in a ball of fire. When he stood that night and left Myotismons side without a backward glance he understood one thing, all that was beautiful in the world was dead and soon he would join Tai wherever creatures such as themselves go in death.

That's enough Yamato for awhile don't you think? Next chapter TAICHI. Yes he is BACK! Please review, I need to know if I was too off in my own little world or if it is understandable. For all of you who did and do review, I LOVE you! I have never left a story unfinished yet and I never will!