Soda

by Broke-Toaster

A shot of blood, shaken with laughter and just a touch of tears on ice. A bittersweet, somewhat unpredictable taste that will ensue once he realizes how much it hurts. Yaoi ZackxCid. ...Oh, c'mon, give it a spin!

11. A Drunken Stupor

Soda

by Court and Erin

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A/N:

Court: I don't remember half of this chapter...

Erin: Well, neither does Cid, so it's all good.

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How do you feel
How do you hate
How do you wake up with that smile that's on your face?
Out on the moon
If I was an astronaut could I get back to you?
I'm out of my head
I'm out of excuses so I'm staring at the bed
And it's you
It's you...

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11: A Drunken Stupor

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Hey, I remember this place! Zack grinned, watching as Junon finally came into view. Things had cheered up considerably after they had stopped at the gas station, mainly due to the fact that Zack got his Coke fix, which had him feeling better in no time. There were reasons that he referred to it as the Holy Elixir, after all...

Oh, you've been here? Cid asked with a tinge of curiosity as he gave his traveling comrade a side-glance.

Err... yeah! Um... I... I came here on vacation! Because... yeah, um... the war! It wasn't safe where I lived so I came here. Only here for a few days because... Well, after that I made my way to Midgar. Yep! Couldn't let Cid know that he knew his way around this place pretty well thanks to being in SOLDIER.

Is that so? Cid asked with only half of his attention, more worried that he didn't run over any old ladies as they drove through the town. Heeeey... that reminds me. How the hell did you get so fucked up when we first met, anyways? You were pretty hurt, even before I beat your head in... He grinned maliciously at his friend.

Hey, you did not! I got a couple good hits in!

Yeah, yeah. Whatever, kid. Now, what happened to you?

Uh.... err.... ummm.... I... Hey, let's just get on the boat, okay? We wouldn't want to be late. For they had arrived, and it seemed that people were already boarding. Zack quickly unbuckled himself and then ran to the back of the car so they could move all of their suitcases onto the boat. He sure did hope that they could find their tickets. (Cid had been given them by his superiors, as they had ordered them in advance.)

Cid pressed the button to unlock the back door absentmindedly, blinking in confusion at the boy's blatant avoidance of the previously mentioned subject. Just like earlier. Seemed there was more to Zack than first met the eye...

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God, that was a pain... Zack grumbled, collapsing on his bed in their small cabin room on the boat now that they had finished moving all of their luggage into the room. Granted, they had some people help with some of their stuff, but Zack had still somehow ended up with the heaviest pack.

He blinked through one eye at the pile of bags that had been dumped in the middle of the floor, dreading when they'd have to move all of them off of the ship and back into the jeep. The attendants had claimed they would move the car onto the boat themselves, since it was a well-known process, and though Cid had protested (after all, it was a brand new jeep), they had eventually managed to convince him that it would be all right.

I think I'm gonna head up and get some fresh air in a bit, Zack finally said to the other as he got up from his place on the bed, also tired from the heaving of baggage.

Yeah, probably'd be good for you... Cid sighed, opening an eye from his laid-out position on the second bed. Y'sure you don't want some help------ At the glare Zack shot him, he looked away, grumbling. Yeah, yeah, okay, I get it...

Zack spat. He quickly exited the room so that he could find his way to the deck, as the boat wasn't too big and he doubted it would be very hard to navigate. He just hoped he could find his way back afterwards. He put the room number to memory and then went off in search of the stairs. It didn't take him long to find them, and he was glad to see that the deck was fairly empty. Seemed most people were tired from their trips and were busy trying to get some rest. Zack doubted he'd be sleeping too well, though.

He paced across the wooden planks until he reached the railing, placing his hands on the cold bars as he leaned into the sea breeze, feeling the night mist kiss at his skin, dampening his hair just slightly. He took in a deep breath and then examined the rolling waves, waters darkened by the cover of night, just a small reflection of the half-full moon shining like a lonely beacon.

A flash as the memories surged through him.

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Hey, kid, if you keep getting in fights, you're gonna really get hurt.

A pair of bitter, blazing blue eyes. I can take care of myself.

Why don't I believe you? Come on, kid, I don't want to be Mr. Mean Official person, so...

Stop. Leave me alone.

He sighed. I can't. I have to make sure you don't get yourself in any more trouble, and if that means I have to keep both eyes on you...

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You know, Cloud, you aren't so bad. Breath heavy from the sparring match, he gave the spiky blonde a warm smile.

I could say the same to you, First Class SOLDIER.

I'm not sure I can tolerate that sort of talk from you, Private, he barked in an imitation stern voice.

The other burst into joyful laughter, a light spreading over his face that was so rare and yet so suiting. Oh, yeah, Zack, you still have to introduce me to Sephiroth; you promised!

I know, I know, calm down. He really isn't that great. A real stiff most of the time...

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Cloud! Guess what? I convinced them to allow you on the mission!

Really? You mean I get to go with you on a First Class mission?

Yeah. We're going to some place called Nibelheim...



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Cloud... kill Sephiroth...

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Only a little farther, buddy... come on...

Get them!

A shower of gunshots.

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Zack snapped back to attention, blinking himself into reality. He put his head in his hands, sighing deeply.

Ugh... I have to stop this.

Zack whipped his head around to see a blinking Cid staring at him. He took a step forward. I was looking for---are you okay?

Zack's eyes narrowed dangerously. STOP it! he yelled, quickly moving out of the way so there was a good distance in between them. Why do you keep bothering me? It's obvious I don't want to tell you anything and yet you insist on continually asking me as if you actually give a fuck!

The black-haired youth gave out a low growl, shaking his head in disgust. Look, I didn't pry into your business while you were sick. Maybe I should, so you know what it feels like! Who was she', anyways? Zack was fuming, hands clenched at his sides and face slightly red. I didn't even want to go on your stupid trip, anyways! He crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. I doubt the rocket will even get launched. He looked to the side, obviously annoyed. There was also a tired look in his eyes, however.

Cid froze where he was standing at the sharp sentences that Zack threw at him, and his eyes widened at the bare mentioning of , but it wasn't until his friend began taking his dream and dirtying it with his worst fears that his own inner eruption was sparked and he spat back at his bitter friend with harsh words from his own impressive armory.

If you think you can rattle me with your worthless little shit-for-brains opinions, you're fucking wrong, Cid said lowly, dangerously, but Zack knew that the other had been shaken; why else would his voice be so different, so much more biting and chilling than the other times he'd yelled and berated his roommate for everything that ever went wrong in the world? Zack could almost feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, goosebumps race upon his arms, and his eyes widen at the blue fire in Cid's cold eyes. This anger wasn't an outburst of hot temperament, nor the ranting of a feverish madman---it was deliberate, calculated, completely under control, and that in and of itself was enough to frighten the ex-SOLDIER.

You don't know anything about me, he grated.

And you don't know a thing about me, either! Zack managed to hiss back. So I guess we're even. I won't tell you anything, and neither will you, all right? He stared at the other sternly. If I want to tell you anything, I'll do it out of my own free will. Just know this -- my life wasn't a walk in the park. He considered leaving until he realized that that would mean he had lost this little dispute, and he could be a sore loser at times. At first he had been waiting for the other to respond, but then a new array of insults swelled within him.

You're so insecure or... whatever... that you have to be mean and yell at everyone and hurt people and I'm sure the only reason you've been nice is because you feel like you have to make something up to me. Well, you know what? You don't have to. I should have never felt so obliged to help in the first place!

Hey, I know I'm an asshole, Cid retorted, chest heaving as his short hair was ruffled by an angry gust of wind. Don't think I have any damn delusions about THAT. But because I'm a bastard, it'd probably be a good idea for you to stop being such a fucking mope about whatever it is that's in your fuckin' head, cause believe it or not, I don't LIKE seeing people---that I've bothered to like, anyway---feeling like shit.

Zack let out a short bark of laughter. Oh, don't try and spring that on me; don't try to act like you like me. How dare you say something like that when you only took me in because otherwise people would have thought bad of you and because you needed me to help pay -- and you also took the liberty to constantly yell at me and hit me like I... I was... Nothing. He suddenly felt sick, remembered all that was wrong in his head, all that he still hadn't sorted through -- but he wouldn't run.

And then you drag me on a trip I never even wanted to go on after I had taken care of you out of the goodness of my heart and I ask one thing, that you don't try and dig into my problems, but you don't even listen to me then! Why don't you just leave me alone? It never seemed that hard for you before... Zack hadn't forgotten how sometimes Cid would spend the whole day ignoring him, too busy' to talk to him or be a... a friend. You know, you hate me so much that I should have left a long time ago... He would have left then and there if they hadn't been on a boat, and now he felt worse than he had a little earlier, thanks to this fight.

What do you want from him, Zack? He's mean to you and you don't like it; then he tries to be nice and you push him away. Just because you're confused and scared doesn't mean you should take it out on him. Suddenly he felt some remorse and wanted to apologize, but his pride wouldn't allow such a thing yet.

Cid was fuming inwardly. Who the fuck does that kid think he is?! After all I did for him... but did I...? But outwardly, he was silent, gritting his teeth at the friend whose camaraderie he wasn't sure would last long.

So, the shit hits the fan, he said slowly. The pilot turned away, arms crossed. ....Is that the God-honest truth, Zack? I'm a bitter-ass fucker who isn't good for one damn thing?

Zack blinked, swallowing a lump in his throat. I... I didn't mean that. The silence rang painfully in his ears as a cold wind rushed by, stirring his dark hair and jacket. I really shouldn't be arguing with you when I'm still busy figuring things out. You were just the... closest target. He bowed his head. Look... just, I don't know yet. I don't know anything. Just give me a while to work things out, and... He bit his lip. Well, sorry.

Nah, don't be, Cid turned back towards the porcupine head, a smile on his face. It was sad, empty. You don't need to lie -- I already know what kind of man I am, and it's my own damn choice, so... He trailed off. Don't worry about it.

The blonde turned and began to walk away.

Zack lifted his head up, looking slightly surprised as he watched the other slip away. And even though he wasn't the first to walk off, he still felt that somehow he had lost. Maybe it was that sinking feeling in his stomach... Either way, there was no way he was sleeping that night.

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Excuse me! A loud rapping on the door jarred Zack into consciousness. He hadn't been asleep; it was more like he had zoned out after too much thinking. Good thinking, though, since he now felt as if he had a stronger hold on his fate, could face the world again. Still, an entire night without sleep left him in a rather zombie-like state as he moved to the door, slowly opening it to see a young deckhand standing outside.

The boy blinked, obviously a bit perturbed by the bags under the raven-haired one's eyes, but he forced his message out just the same. Err... w-we'll be arriving shortly, sir, and so you might want to wake up your rooming mate and get your things together. We hope you've had a nice trip! Before Zack could get a word in, the mousey boy gave a quick salute and then skittered off.

Zack sighed. Why, yes, it was fan-fucking-tastic. I just made my friend hate me worse than before, how about you? Slamming the door, he dragged himself over to Cid's bed reluctantly, placing a hand carefully on the man's shoulder and shaking it slightly. Hey, man, you've gotta get up. No response. Zack closed his eyes momentarily in exhaustion before giving a somewhat harder shake. Come on, buddy, rise and shine...

God, things were going to be so awkward after this; it was Zack's intention to clear things up as quickly as possible if he could. He just hoped he hadn't made things irreparable, thereby condemning himself to be ditched somewhere soon. After all, this was the first time they had spoken to each other since the fight, and it was merely out of necessity.

he squeaked now, almost sounding desperate.

The pilot tensed up, curling into a ball for a moment before stretching out again and rolling on his side towards the other. His face was blank, dark circles under his eyes, and the porcupine-head noticed the sad lump of bunched-up sheets that he laid under. Seemed as if he'd been tossing and turning all night as well.

S'it time to go? Cid groaned, putting a hand to his forehead and throwing his covers off. Zack blinked. The blonde had woken up in his clothes again, but this time, it was his attire from the day before, wrinkled and rumpled into unsavory condition. The pilot closed his eyes, scratching his back by snaking a hand down the rear of his white tanktop.

Uh... I... guess, the porcupine-head said slowly, still wary after the events of the day before. He wouldn't be surprised at all if the blonde suddenly remembered their argument and turned around, slapping him across the face, but maybe that fear was a little irrational. (Then again, this was Cid he was talking about...)

However, the pilot simply sighed, opening blue eyes now dulled with the weight of sleep and the negative recollection of the ugliness that they had thrown at each other.

You can leave on the next boat back to Junon, he said calmly as he stood up, running a hand through his hair. I'll let you have some money... rent a car. You've got a spare key to the apart--? Yeah, course you do... He walked towards their luggage. Anyway, you can gather up your shit, your stash of money or whatever... those video games...

The pilot stopped in mid-movement and turned around, facing the other. That same benevolent yet unsettling smile had reappeared from the day before. Cid's eyes were cool, almost relieved in a way. "I won't stop you from goin' And you're right." He turned away again. "I'm probably better off on my own"

This had been what Zack had wanted, hadn't it? The porcupine's hand tightened into a fist ---- maybe not. He really hadn't been trying to accomplish anything during that argument except to get Cid to stop hovering over him like some sort of deranged mother hen; getting a quick return home had not been his intention.

Home? Zack checked himself. I guess it is home now. And he's willing to let me stay there, still? Even after this?

This was confusing. Maybe Cid would kick him out when he came back? Maybe----

Wait.

None of that mattered.

He was not going back now.

"No," he stated plainly, staring dead-straight into those sky-blue eyes with his glowing Mako ones. "I'm going with you." The other looked ready to protest, but Zack didn't give him a chance. "I said I'd come with you, make sure you don't get into any trouble because we both know you work way too damn hard, and I plan to keep that promise." Smiling, he patted the other's head, ruffling his blonde hair a bit before lowering his arm to his side. "Don't think you can get rid of me just because I was in a bad mood." He winked at him. "It'll be harder than that!"

Leave it to the porcupine to lighten the mood.

Cid was perturbed that he wasn't doing anything in response, that Zack's touch hadn't sent him off the walls and caused him to pummel the poor guy into oblivion. He usually never stood for anyone treating him as anything less than what he was - Cid Highwind, pilot, ex-SRAF - and the action felt, to him, almost condescending, something that made him realize----not for the first time----how weak and frail and useless he was.

"Listen, Cid" Zack interrupted the other's thoughts, crossing his arms over his chest. However, before he could continue, a loud whistle rang out from upstairs.

"Ah! Looks like we're there!" Throwing his arms down, Zack rushed off to gather his belongings, leaving Cid dumbfounded and frozen in shock. He should have been fuming by now, he knew, with Zack's sudden mood swing after he had finally given the boy an option to leave----and the damn kid was right, too----no one should have ever had to live with all of Cid's negative qualities, which he knew outweighed the good if there was even any good at all.

Suddenly he began to simmer, boil, inwardly rage at the kid for indirectly exposing himself to his buried hate. That was good----anger was good.

Make him get away from you, Cid.

Make him hurt before he starts hurting even harder.

Just what kind of self-righteous shit are you trying to pull on me? The pilot asked, feeling horribly sick even as he provoked the anger of the other. How DARE you trick me like that – make me think you're gonna up and leave, and then load me up with more of your sentimental crap?! He went on, losing his purpose somewhere along the way. No one's ever been like this to me, so just tell me once and for all—

He walked around Zack and grabbed the duffel bag that the other was sifting through, yanking it away and throwing it out of his reach, as if to get his full attention. What the hell do you want, huh?! Why the FUCK do you refuse to HATE me?!

There, it was out. Cid gave a silent sigh of relief, and though he had been glad moments before that he was finally making the kid get as far away from him as possible, he was suddenly regretting it.

And for what point or purpose? He asked himself, and himself refused to answer.

And to think Zack had been attempting to make things through the convergence of his mood to its more usual, optimistic self. Instead, he had ended up making things worse, got the pilot angrier than before. Well, of course he's mad you've been yanking him around in every direction because you can't clear things up in your head. He stared at the blonde for a moment before closing his eyes solemnly. That's the problem, he breathed out with a sigh. I don't know what I want, everything's so mixed up in my head, and

He opened twin oculars then, but they were directed at the floor rather than at his comrade. I don't know what to risk, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do His right hand lifted so he could press two fingers into his temple. I'm so confused. I don't know if anyone cares, or if I'm really by myself now. He chuckled lightly. Listen to me; I'm sounding like such an idiot.

He nibbled on his lip a bit before continuing. about your second question, well He finally raised his head and gave Cid a rueful smile. No one wants to be hated; no one wants to be hurt. With that, he slowly made his way over to the discarded duffel bag, taking it and then moving to get the rest of his luggage, waiting (and perhaps hoping) for any response from his friend.

Cid blinked, body taut as he clenched and unclenched his fists. Finally, he let out a long, tired sigh as if he had something weighing down on his chest as he collapsed onto the nearest bed (Zack's) and closed his eyes.

he asked in a thoroughly exhausted voice.

The Mako-eyed one blinked, looking over his shoulder briefly at the one who was now lying upon his bed. What's up? he asked as cheerfully as he could.

The blonde brought a hand to his face and rubbed his left temple vigorously.

Aren't we supposed to be on vacation?

Zack blinked for a moment and then fell into peals of laughter.

We sure are, buddy, he responded as he stepped over to the side of the bed Cid was occupying. And we better haul ass outta here unless we want to be sent back on the boat home. He patted his arm encouragingly.

Yeah, sure, the pilot laughed back, jumping to his feet and beginning to gather up his things the way Zack had. He still didn't sound convincingly enthusiastic, though. Costa del Sol, here we come

Zack grinned, kicking the door open so they could both make their way down the hall, up the stairs, and then across the deck. They walked down the unreliable, metal step ladder that let them off of the ship and onto the sun-soaked docks of the bright town.

Zack whistled, basking in the warm rays that beat down upon his pale skin. I could get used to this, he commented, watching as a half-naked woman walked by. He was hypnotized for a moment before he shook his head and turned back to Cid. I suppose we should find a room, eh?

Got it covered, the blonde said, shouldering a bag as he held two others in his hands. He nodded towards a small building down the street, three stories, under which there was a sign that read You always need to make reservations around here uh He dropped the packs held in his hands and scratched the back of his head, closing his eyes. You can go on ahead if ya want I gotta stay here and wait for em to bring out the car anyway. Seems he had noticed the eager look in Zack's eyes to meet the populace of this sunny getaway.

Well, you're sure on top of things! Zack grinned at him deviously. Nice job, Cid-o He trailed off when he noticed a group of three or four girls over at the other side of the docks, pointing at him, staring, and then falling into giggles. He waved over at them and watched as they coyly turned away, before returning his attention to Cid yet again.

Um, yeah I'm really tired so I think I'll go take a nap and then maybe go swimming or something. He lapsed into a large yawn, murmured a farewell, and then headed for the main area of the town. However, he had only taken a few steps before he stopped to say one more thing to the pilot. I just give your name at the inn, right? Cid Highwind'?

the pilot answered vaguely, opening his eyes but looking away.

Zack blinked.

Highwind He waved the other away in dismissal, his voice a slurred mumble. Company made the reservations

Zack smiled brightly. That's so cool! Sydney! He flailed his arms wildly as he made the newfound name into a song.

SHUT UP, growled, temporarily his normal angry self. I don't like that name

Aw, fine Zack sighed, hunching his shoulders rather pathetically as he lowered his arms. I don't like my full name, anyways, so I can relate. Well, I'll catch ya' later. With that, he finally continued on his way to the inn.

Um, sure Cid trailed off, wondering vaguely at what Zack was hinting at before descending into his previous state of depression and giving a long sigh.

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Checking into the room had been no problem except for when Zack had had to stifle laughter as he told the inn-keep his roommate's full name. Once he had found the appropriate room, he had thrown all of his baggage on the floor and fallen into the closest bed, intending to make up for the night before. It was only a few hours later when he woke up, the room still empty except for himself. However, Cid must have been there briefly because the pile of suitcases was now larger.

I wonder where he went off to Eh well, he can take care of himself. And how come he didn't wake me up? As he had previously mentioned, he planned to catch some more rays down on the beach, and so after some digging through suitcases, he retrieved his swimming trunks and a towel, quickly changing and then heading down to the shore. However, there wasn't as much swimming as there was talking to (and at times snogging) the lovely ladies.

Therefore, when Zack eventually made his way back to the hotel room, when the sun was beginning to set, he was hardly wet. It was more of a surprise when he arrived and Cid still wasn't there, so he changed back into his clothing and decided to go looking for him. Wandering the streets at night, however, provided many distractions. As he was walking down one particularly empty road, a beckoning voice from an alleyway got him quickly involved in some tongue-wrestling action until he forced himself to pull away from the girl, murmuring, Mmf, I gotta find my friend.

And his searching finally brought him to a bar.

Why didn't I look here first? he shook his head as he walked in. Lo and behold, there sat Cid, hunched over at the bar and looking rather dejected. Zack slowly slipped over, sliding onto the stool next to Cid's.

The younger one couldn't think of anything else to say; things were still a bit awkward, after all.

Cid took a second or two before he actually moved, peering up at the other with bleary blue eyes and an otherwise unkempt appearance, topped off with mussed-up hair, that same clothing from yesterday, and the stubble that was budding up sneakily from the bottom half of his face.

You he slurred slightly in a less-than-sober voice, arching a sharp eyebrow dubiously. His eyes narrowed. Whadda YOU want?

Zack stared blankly for a moment before scoffing in something that could almost be called disgust.

Cid, you're drunk, he stated blandly.

the pilot growled. What's it to ya'?

Instead of responding, Zack ordered a brandy with Coke for himself. He had nothing to lose, seeing as it all went on the same tab. Cid seemed fine with being ignored, staying silent as he sipped at his drink.So, what's up? He wasn't really in the mood to deal with a drunkard, but he'd see how it went for now.

Cid still had the clarity of mind to look up and grin. he exclaimed jovially. Nothin's up, nothin's right, nothin' in this whole goddamn shithole ever turns out okay— He blinked towards Zack's drink as the bartender set it in front of him and then pointed at it, looking towards his roommate hopefully. You gonna finish that?

Zack gawked at him in disbelief. What?! I haven't even started it yet! And you don't even like Coke, man He sighed, sliding two fingers down the sweating glass to get some of the condensation on his fingertips, which he then wiped off on the counter. Is this about the fight? He took a drink of his beverage after the question was posed.

Nah, it s'about my life, my dreams my WIFE He started a forced laugh, causing stares as he slammed his fist on the counter. Finally, he seemed to calm down and slumped back down again. Not that I yannow have one auugh He held his head in a hand, body language expressing depression once more.

Zack glanced over at the other with a pitying look in his eyes before staring forward at his glass again. You wanna find someone, huh? he asked somewhat wistfully. Well, I can't say I blame you He adjusted that blue jacket around his shoulders uncomfortably before running a hand through his hair and sighing softly.

Cid grunted, neither acknowledging nor ignoring the statement. He took another swig of his drink and blinked at the glass blearily, realizing it was empty.

he called, nodding towards his tall one.

Cid, don't you think— Zack began to protest.

The pilot whirled on him, one finger pointed towards him with an angry expression on his face —be tryin' to tell ME what's best, all right?!

He swung forward a little, regained his balance. Like you think yer my mother or somethin' He turned his pointed finger into a mock-mouth that he opened and closed along to a poor imitation of a generic housewife's voice. Stop that, that's not good for you, blah blah blah, blah— he leaned in close to Zack and said the last one louder than the rest, the alcohol on his breath quite strong,

He pulled away again, shrugging and turning back towards his refilled, dubious-looking brown liquid, muttering to himself. Almost glad she kicked the bucket—when was it?— He looked towards the ceiling, shook his head, and turned his chin downwards again. Prol'ly dun wanna remember anyhow

His mother was dead? Zack would have never guessed. Then again, it wasn't like the guy ever spoke one word of his parents until now, and it was only because he was intoxicated that he let his tongue slip. Although it wasn't like Zack ever spoke about his "parents" either. He could hardly even call them that, considering they had treated him like dirt. But that wasn't the subject material of their little conversation, was it? No, it most certainly wasn't. So he forgot all about that and instead tried to muster up some form of a response for his friend. "Okay, drink all you want, but don't say I didn't warn ya', all right?" He sighed, leaning back enough that he could put his feet up on the bar, ignoring the dirty look the bartender gave him.

Warn me of WHUT?" Cid shot back, growling again. "I can hold my liquor, thank ya verrry much----"

What a quaint moment for him to finally lose his equilibrium and fall off of the barstool onto the hard floor of the establishment. Slowly, under Zack's disgruntled, scrutinizing gaze, he pulled himself up, using the stool as a lift amid the increased number of stares that he had garnered.

"Jus'--------jus' lemme drink, a'ight....?" He groaned, rubbing his eyes again as he groped towards his glass, pulling it towards his lips once more.

Zack groaned. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he said, waving his hand up and down as if to swat Cid away, since he was beginning to annoy the porcupine now. He didn't like having to deal with his friends when they were drunk because they tended to turn rather disagreeable. Whether they were making some sort of horrid scene or bothering him with all of their problems and acting as if he could do a thing about it, drunk people just tended to irritate him. Couldn't people have the discipline to know when to stop?

Unless their whole plan was to get drunk in the first place, to forget something for at least a little while. But still, they should keep to themselves when they're doing something like that, not put the burden on their friends. Then again, I'm the one that talked to him. But... I can't just leave him here to get in a fight or fall onto his face and break his nose or something. With all this complaining I do, I don't actually do much about any of it, do I? Well, I tried to stop him... I guess.

Cid responded with a faint gurgle.

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For someone who hated drunks so much, Zack certainly didn't practice what he preached. By the time the bar had closed for the night at whatever Godforsaken hour that they indeed closed at, the person that Cid was leaning on for support as they plowed down the moonlit streets was fairly tipsy himself----though he didn't harbor even a tenth of the dead-drunkenness that Cid had now brought upon himself.

"Lemmmeee telll yaaa...." The pilot slurred badly as they made their way towards their inn. "That was some party, whoooooo.....!"

Zack stumbled slowly through the town, doing his best not to fall over and take his blonde friend with him, grinning warmly at some of the girls still out at whatever hour it happened to be and getting disgusted stares in return; not that he even cared at that point. He chuckled lightly at Cid's outburst, nodding slightly and ignoring the fact that the action made his head swim. "Yeeeeahh, man! 'cept it weren't a party, duuude..."

"Guess not, ehhh?" Cid laughed back, attempting to pat Zack on the back but failing miserably; instead, he fell backwards onto the pavement with a painful thud, blinking up at the white-speckled sky.

"Stars...." He mumbled happily. "I like stars...."

Zack burst into laughter when the other fell on the ground, but not having the other one to half-lean on ended up with him collapsing to the cobblestones next to the other drunkard. He titled his head up to the sky as well, trying to pick out as many of the white lights on the otherwise black canvas as he could. "Yeah... purdy..."

"Mmmmhmmm....." Cid giggled in a strange, high pitched manner before rolling onto his side and grinning lopsidedly towards his tipsy friend. "Yannow, I wanna go up there." He snorted. "Never gonna happen but I WANNA!!!!!!!" Unexpectedly, he jumped to his feet, only to find himself staggering forward and leaning into a nearby building for dear life.

Cid giggling was rather horrific, and Zack finally decided that this drunken banter wasn't as fun as it had been initially. He tried to sober himself up as much as he could, pushing the drunk, happy thoughts away and taking on a more serious tone; well, as serious as Zack could get with a good amount of brandy in him. And he thought that Mako was supposed to make you resilient to this sort of thing. Pah.

He pulled himself to his feet, grabbing Cid to make sure he didn't tumble to the ground again. "You never know," he said with a soft smile. "Someday, you just might..." He took his free hand and reached it out towards the night sky, closing one eye as if he was aiming and sticking his tongue out in concentration. "When... when you do this it almost looks like you can take a few of them in your hand." His extended hand closed into a fist, as if he was capturing a few of the bright lights in his grip. He lowered his arm and brought his hand to his face, opening it slowly only to see it was empty. "Well... it doesn't really work, but for a second you feel like you have the sky in your very grasp..." (He always got slightly philosophical when he was tipsy.)

Cid looked towards his friend blankly as he held him, eyes suddenly narrowing in sadness at his friend's attempt at stealing stars. ".....I used to do that..... when I was a..... kid........" He blinked blearily and shook his head as he tried to stand on his own and failed miserably, instead falling further into Zack, with his face against the other's chest.

"Mmmm," he murmured vaguely, nuzzling his cheek in closer though there wasn't much emotion attached to it besides instinctual need. "Warm."

The midnight-haired one stared down at the other, rather confused at this random action, though he brushed it off as just another drunken mishap. "Ehh, come on, buddy," he muttered. "Let's... let's go home..." Home being their current hotel room, of course. He patted the other's head lightly, and then pried him from his position against his chest, instead moving him to his right side and slinging an arm around his shoulders as he had done earlier, continuing the trek back to the inn.

"Can't go home, too far from home.... never gonna get back...." Cid grumbled even as he was reluctantly dragged along. Eventually, though, they somehow managed to make it all the way from the street to their inn a block away, so Zack was probably still pretty clear in the head, unlike his counterpart....

In the door, up the stairs---seemed like everyone else was already in bed---until they finally got to their door and Zack was forced to dig in one of his pockets for a minute before he managed to pull out the keys. When he did and subsequently opened the door, however, Cid pushed forward, collapsing onto his stomach in the nearest bed.

"I amm..... I'mmma......." He rolled over onto his back, groaning as he rubbed his head, this time with both hands. "K....kid.... Fuckdamn, I'm.... I'mma drunk........." He paused and looked up pleadingly. "Dunnot let me do anythin' stupid.... okayyee?"

Kinda late for that....

Zack dragged himself from the door to the left side of the bed that Cid was already sprawled out on, merely because it was closer and trying to take those last few steps to the other one seemed impossible. He sighed, staring up at the ceiling and waiting for it to stop spinning as he scolded himself for ever getting this hammered.

All right, man, I'll make sure you don't do nothin', he mumbled, lapsing into silence as he began to doze off. The fact that he was laying beside his friend didn't quite register.

His eyes were almost closed when Cid suddenly said something, waking the ex-SOLDIER up from his half-doze.

he grunted, rolling over so that he was facing the other. Whatt'you thinkuf me, anyway? I mean—like— He scrunched up his face as his swimming mind searched vainly for a word. Like—as a guy. A friend, he smiled slightly as he patted Zack's adjacent shoulder.

Zack blinked at him through sleepy rather than tipsy eyes, trying to find a proper answer for the rather random, estranged question. You're a good guy

For real? Cid grinned, until after a few moments it faded into a drunkenly contemplative frown. He looked up once more. He raised his eyebrow hopefully. I wanna know know

Slowly, he raised the hand from Zack's shoulder and put it to the side of the other's face, studying his expression intently. an' what He bit his lip before he continued, whut if you were a woman?

Zack's glazed eyes sobered out as he felt the other's cool touch tingling his skin. He slowly placed his hand on top of Cid's and looked into those blue eyes, even if they were clouded over by drunkenness. What do you mean?

I dunno The aforementioned blue eyes narrowed in confusion, darting from one side of the youth's face to the other. His cold fingers tensed slightly in thought, dragging their tips a couple of millimeters or so across Zack's face. it seems kinda unfair, yannow? His hand relaxed once more and he began to stroke the other's skin softly, gently, like a weak wisp of wind. He smiled sweetly, drunken eyes painfully sincere. Wastin' such a pretty face on a on a somethin' someone I can't have

Zack's eyes were filled with a slight confusion and a crumbling pity. His pale cheeks were stained red as he continued to stare at the pilot, breathing escalated as he felt that hand that always was so rough, the one that usually struck him, suddenly so soft and tender; those words he said so sweet, expelled from a mouth that he was accustomed to hearing bitter scolds and spiteful insults spill from, and suddenly he started shaking as he felt butterflies gather in his stomach and flutter frantically. He didn't know what to say, no words would come.

I'm sorry, he eventually forced out, voice sad and somewhat guilty.

"Awww, s'okay," Cid responded cheerfully, seemingly oblivious to Zack's awkwardness within the bizarre situation as he grinned and the stroking turned into a friendly pat or two on the cheek. "Not yer fault you'ere born 'at way.... An' 'sides....." He closed his eyes almost ruefully. "Never 'ad much luck'en ladywise, if ya know whatt'n mean...."

When the stroking ceased Zack relaxed considerably, not sure why it had worked him up so much in the first place. After all, he had heard such things before, compliments awarded constantly in sweet honey voices that were obviously searching for something he was usually most willing to give; he just forgot the fact that the only reason they were cooing such sweet nothings was because they wanted sex, not love, and he gave them what they wanted. He couldn't say he didn't enjoy it; after all, he was much better at lust than at love. Frankly, he wasn't sure if he knew what love was.

And here you are getting your tail in a knot 'cause your drunk roommate said you were pretty. Jesus. He felt himself attempting to stifle laughter, even though he knew the other probably wouldn't even notice if he went into hysterics, he was so dead-drunk. "Really now? Why's that?"

Cid finally pulled his hand away from whatever magnetic force had attracted it to Zack's facial features in the first place, rolling over onto his back and opening his misted eyes once more. He gave a sad smile. "How many.... aw, hell....." He gave that same, strange giggle, curling up into himself slightly as he brought a hand to his face. "Hard to... hahah... say it'n nice worddss... yeah...." His eyes locked on his friend once more, though the rest of his body didn't move. "How many girls.... guys.... whuthehell ever...."

He paused.

"How many'n you fucked, kid?"

He was rather relieved when the other pulled away, and was a bit taken aback when the pilot let out a giggle. Although he had done it earlier that night, it was still such a frightening act to come from such a... well, rough man, and he hadn't thought it possible until now. He swore, the things alcohol did to people. You had Zack blushing and Cid giggling. He cocked his head to the side as the other took about ten years to ask his question, and then blinked curiously once it was finally forced out, avoiding all niceties and cutting to the chase.

He snorted. "What kind of question is that? You think I keep count?" He shook his head. "Way too many, is that a good enough answer?" He paused for a second. "Or... not enough, depending on how you look at it."

With that easily answered, he figured it was fair enough to present the same question to his friend. "You?"

Cid began a strange, repetitive nodding of his head that lasted for a few moments until he finally brought the hand down and rolled over back towards his friend. They were a little closer than they had been before, and the pilot was still giggling to himself a little unnervingly as he looked away and traced the finger of his right hand through the bedsheets that they were lying on top of.

"Heehaha... kinda... kinda funny if ya... think...." He gave out a full laugh, narrowing his eyes in a miserable attempt at a mischievous smirk, bringing the finger to the youth's nose and poking it once. "Betcha can't guesssiiiiittt!"

This was surreal. Utterly and completely surreal. Cid had just poked his nose, was acting like some little schoolgirl that was trying to be a tease and failing, crashing and burning without even knowing it.

Except he isn't trying to be a tease. He's just drunk.

He shook his head to clear it, ignoring the fact that it made it ache instead of aiding it, and then shrugged his shoulders. "Three?" he squeaked, hoping it wasn't too small of a number, that Cid might take it as an insult or something. It was really just the first number that came into his head.

"Heheh! Kinda close, tho'....." Schoolgirl-Cid laughed in that high-pitched tone again as the perpetually pointed finger turned downwards, signifying that if the pilot's mind was indeed calling up memories correctly, Zack's "insult" had hit closer to home than he had thought.

Okay, so maybe the porcupine had been right. Cid was that sad.

"One?" he tried; there was no way he was a virgin. If he was a virgin, Zack might need to remedy it that second out of pure pity, regardless of what the other thought.

"Bingo!" The pilot exclaimed, poking his own nose and falling backwards into the pillows, arrested by a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "It was... hahaha... didn'tev.... even wan.... haheehaha!!! Fukkin'.... fukkin' rumors.... God, s'like...." He turned towards Zack, tears of hilarity in his eyes even though his demeanor was now bordering on frightening. "S'like I want'd t'killem for askin' me back.... back'n...... hahahaha!" He scrunched his eyes closed once more, breaths coming up so quickly that he was bordering on hyperventilation.

It seemed like the pilot's words were slurring more and more by the minute, which didn't make much sense considering he should be sobering up more the longer he was away from any form of alcohol, unless he had some sort of stash that Zack was missing -- unlikely. The porcupine frowned, attempting to understand what the man had just said and not coming up with anything. "What are you saying? Someone forced you to?" The concept of Cid getting raped didn't bode well; unless he had been drunk, Zack was quite sure he wouldn't allow such a thing to happen. Then again, he was probably referring to a woman that he had sex with, not a man...

"......K-kinda...." Cid's voice came haltingly as he tried to regain control over his breathing. He finally seemed to manage, though, and looked towards his friend, smiling in a strange, sort of heartbroken way. "Not like ya think, tho'........ Nahhhh........ didn'wanna, but.... but I stuck withit, yeah, I did!" He declared proudly, in a loud voice, but the sad expression was still there. "If I hadn'....... rumors.... woulda still'n...... goin' 'round....."

"I see," Zack commented, taking a moment to stare at the ceiling, as if he was thinking. By now all of the alcohol seemed to have worn off for him; that Mako appeared to be good for something, at least. Oh, right, and it kept him alive. That, too. "You didn't like it, huh? Yeah, it isn't as good if you don't like the person," he remarked, now staring at the wall wistfully; anywhere but at his friend. "What sorta rumors were they?" he inquired.

Cid shrugged, the smile fading. "They said'n....... I didn' like thuh..... boyserr nights out, yannow? Waste uh money..... I said...." He looked away. "Wen' 'round.... I didn' like the brunettes----blondes neither..... none of 'em.... act'ully...." He closed his eyes. "None of 'em.... at all....."

Zack had to look at him now, could no longer pretend to find interest in something else, staring dead-on into those eyes that mirrored the color of the sky when it was a bright day, clear of all clouds and completely open, endless.

"So you didn't chase skirts like everyone else, huh? They didn't interest you?" he asked slowly, hoping Cid understood all that he was saying. That was sort of weird, but... everyone was different. Still, all boys had raging hormones, and the fact that the one time he had ever had sex with a girl, it was out of pure necessity... "It's a lot better, you know, when you want it. When it's with someone you actually like." He knew he had said it before, but he knew that sometimes you had to repeat things when talking to intoxicated people.

Except right now, the ocular skies seemed a bit overcast, unbearably sad, and for the first time, Cid showed a bit of soberness as he was forced to avert them from his friend's piercing vision.

".......It.... it was........ I jus' laid there.... Didn' do nothin', not really..... Stuff..... jus' happened." He closed his eyes, breathing hard, but not for the reason that most men would. "She.... she'n was ugly.... she smelled...... l-like plastic...... tasted too....." His hands tensed, clenching the top of the bedcover. "Zack'n... ah.... I..... I hated it....." He turned away as if ashamed, burying his face into one of the thin pillows that adorned the bed. "I fukkin' hated it."

Zack's own Mako eyes softened considerably at the sorrow and disgust in the other man's tone, his actions, and especially his eyes, obviously hating himself for what he had done. He looked back up to the ceiling, closing his eyes and sighing. "You shouldn't have done it, then, if you didn't want to. You shouldn't have been forced into something like that, those sort of memories don't go away... and... and... you're never going to want to do it now, when it really isn't always a bad thing." He laid his hand on the other's arm carefully. "If it's with someone you really care for, I promise it will be different."

He blinked, quickly removing his hand and turning away again.

"Not that I'm trying to force you to find someone, since you seem like you'd rather be alone." Zack didn't understand this at all, had spent enough of his life alone; maybe... maybe his constant need for sexual activity, his lust for anyone that had a pretty face or a good body, was because he just needed someone to make him feel like he wasn't all by himself, even though deep down inside he knew, too clearly, that that was the cold hard truth, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. No matter how many people he had sex with, in the end he was by himself when it mattered the most.

Cid brought up his head slightly, looking towards his friend with an utterly hopeless expression. Zack could've sworn that the pilot's eyes were slightly red.

"I dun wanna be alone...." He said softly, his words still slightly slurred. "But I gotta be.... it's gotta be thattuh way....." He crawled forward towards the other, cautiously, swaying slightly. "'Sides'nnn..... d'youah really.... really think..... anyone'd.... like someone..... like....." He looked away again. "I'mma hor'ble stupid ass'ole.... N'one likes me..... N'that's the way'sa gotta be."

I don't want to be alone... Zack felt his skin tingle and shiver, immediately clamping his hands on the opposite arms and rubbing feverously to retain the warmth that seemed to be leaving so quickly, and definitely without his permission. He hardly even noticed the other inching close to him, instead angered by what the other said.

The words came out of his mouth before they had even finished forming in his mind.

"What?! How dare you say that! Don't talk like that!" He shook his head quickly, tossing black, spiked strands. "Why the hell do you think I actually came with you on this trip, huh?! Why do you think I didn't ditch you a long time ago, hm?" He glared at the other with blazing eyes, jaw set sternly.

Cid shrunk away slightly, shutting his eyes, as if afraid of being struck by the other, which was quite ironic considering what his normal demeanor was usually like. "No.... no, I dun hate you..... kid.... swears I.... don't....." He looked up again with hopefully bright eyes, wary of the other's angry ones. "I wan' you to hate me..... s'way it works 'round here..... N'one.... n'one gets hurts.... thattaway.... An'...." He smiled. "I dun' wanna you... gettin' hurt.... a'ight....? Ya... you... you're too good fer that...."

Zack sighed and nodded somberly. I know you don't hate me, or you would have gotten sick of me a long time ago. He lifted up both hands in front of him, intertwining his fingers and trying to make shapes – a heart, the letters of his name, among other things – a good way to distract himself from this awkward turn of events. And I'm not going to hate you, either; I've hated enough people – why else you do think I'm alone now? He smiled softly as he let his hands fall and stared up at the ceiling again. After their argument from before, he felt obligated to reveal some of his past – after all, he doubted Cid would remember most of this in the morning.

good Cid sighed in relief, but he didn't smile even as his head finally reached Zack's chest and he curled into the warmth being emanated from the other's body, closing his eyes and holding his arms to each other. cold

Zack blinked down at the parasite that had by now latched onto him and awkwardly patted his arm before sighing yet again. Hey, Cid, you sure you don't like guys or something? He knew it was a stupid question, that the other was only doing such things out of utter drunkenness, but he had said it anyway.

Cid raised his head slightly, blinking sleepy, half-closed eyes at his friend. I'mma nottuh gay And then he relaxed back down, snuggling his face in closer to the other's chest as if he had made quite a compelling case.

Zack stared at him skeptically before settling farther down onto the bed so that he was actually laying down as opposed to leaning up on the headboard, taking Cid with him since it seemed the other refused to remove himself, and so Zack wasn't even going to attempt to pry him off. Whatever you say, man, he mumbled as he dozed off to sleep.

Cid murmured, moving an arm around his source of comfort.

Zack absent-mindedly tried to work himself under the covers as he felt himself fall further into a dreamlike state. he breathed, curling his legs up and leaning his head down where it almost brushed against the other. But Cid didn't seem to notice, breathing regularly and snoring slightly in the sweet bliss of slumber.

"G.......G'night..... kid......" Cid yawned, chin finding a comfortable place to rest as it buried itself in Zack's black hair. His overly tired mind, at least, didn't seem to mind this whole situation, and his body seemed to welcome it with open arms---literally---as his own limbs made their way around Zack the way the youth's had.

And these strong arms pressed firmly yet gently around the black-haired one were not at all refused; it made him feel as if maybe someone in the world still acknowledged his existence. An existence he may not have really wanted, but it was there just the same, and his loneliness could only be borne for so long. Just having someone to be near during the night was more than he could ask for, and here he had someone close to him when he needed it most. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he felt the last bits of consciousness falling away like sand slipping through fingers, and night truly descended.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Morning. The waves rolling in down from the beach and seagulls screaming out high-pitched cries was enough to bring Zack into a peaceful awakening. Yawning in a rather catlike manner, both glowing eyes were slowly opened and he would have stretched his arms upwards if he had been able to move them. A bit confused, he waited for his vision to clear before glancing down and seeing that there was another shirtless, softly breathing form clinging to him. A Chocobutt-headed form.

He found he didn't really want to move anymore, the warmth of the covers and the feeling of a body next to him, clinging to his bare chest, was something he hadn't felt in so long. Not to mention he was in an actual bed, and he was still relishing that fact. Wait – bare chests? How did that happen? His less restrained arm lifted up the blankets slightly. Pants on that's a good sign. He tried to remember the events of the previous night and figure out why his head was pounding slightly, and exactly why he was currently feeling a layer of sandpaper-like stubble being nuzzled into his chest.

Oh yeah. They got drunk. He glanced down at Cid, who was still blissfully unaware of the fact that he was clinging to another half-clothed man. That was weird, what he said last night All the stuff he said last night

He put his hand slowly against his own cheek and felt it warm up with a blush. Well, he figured it was about time to get up since he didn't want Cid to push him off of the bed in sexuality-unsure fright when he left the dream world. However, if the youth pulled even a little bit away, the other grabbed for him and pulled him close again. Zack blinked; this might prove to be a little tricky. He fished for an extra pillow with his free hand and with a smooth movement, switched himself with the plush object, so Cid groped blindly for a moment, finding the headrest and mumbling something incoherent as he hugged that instead.

Mission accomplished, Zack whispered with a grin, padding over to the bathroom to take a shower.

However, a pillow couldn't last forever.

Cid felt cold. Alone. He didn't know why, and he didn't know how, but there was a certain, unnerving level of dread that he felt as he slowly opened his blue eyes to a brand new, if rather bright day. Squinting, he slowly pulled himself up, entire body sore and head swimming as he attempted to right himself upwards.

What the f—?

He looked down at his hands and found them to be clutching a white pillow and frowned, pulling one palm away and holding it in the air.

Why—?

Something suddenly occurred to him and he slowly pulled up his covers, peering downwards. Pants on. He pulled the covers back down. That's a good sign

Goooood morning, Zack's voice came cheerfully from behind him.

HOLY SHIT!!! Cid yelled at the top of his lungs, whirling around with wide eyes while in his precarious position atop the bed and causing himself to lurch backwards, falling off the bed in a tangle of sheets while still clutching the pillow.

Zack snorted in amusement before pacing around the bed to see the pitiful heap of sheets and pillows, hands on his hips that were covered only by a towel, the rest of his bare skin and his hair dripping with water he hadn't bothered to towel off. You okay? he asked with a blink.

Cid somehow managed, with much flailing and panicked scuttling, to emerge halfway from the covers, eyes wide as he lay on his back. He breathed hard, closing his eyes as he tried vainly to understand why he had a pillow in his arms and why the sight of a half-clothed Zack was causing him to close his eyes in the first place. He didn't bother to answer Zack's question; his silent response would be obvious enough.

Zack took a few more steps towards him, picking up some of the loose blankets and pillows and throwing them up on the bed. he continued, turning to face the gasping man with his arms crossed over his wet chest. Do you remember anything that happened last night? You got really drunk

Cid opened his eyes, narrowing them in thought as he fixed them on the night table away from his friend that currently towered over him. He began to get to his knees. I don't—

Visions, quick, blinding flashes of blurry memories.

Beer.

Laugh.

Fall.

Stars.

Warm.

Walk.

Inn.

Warm.

Dumb.

Face.

Talk.

Sex.

Sad.

Hate.

Warm.

Sleep.

I think I was warm Cid was about to ask hopefully before something strong wrenched his gut into a knot, a hard gasp cannonballed into his throat, his hands leapt up to his face, and a jackhammer from hell split his skull in two.

FUCK, MY HEAD!!! he howled painfully, knees giving out from under him as he fell into the mess of sheets once more, groaning pitifully after he was done with his first outburst and pulling a hand away from his forehead momentarily to dig his fingers into the mattress next to him like claws, gasping harshly every now and then in time to the tension in his poor, battered body and vengeful brain.

he managed to get out between breaths, sharp as daggers. I—I think I've—ascertained—th—GODFUKKIT!

Zack smiled rather morbidly. I was wondering when you'd realize you had a hangover he said, seating himself at the foot of Cid's bed. Mine's already gone, he boasted, tapping at his own head lightly with two fingers. He then stood up and walked over to his suitcase to find something to change into; he also had to make a mad grab for his towel, which almost fell off a few times as he paced around the room. With clothes found, he headed for the bathroom. Hope you feel better.

Cid gurgled out, suddenly staggering to his feet and limp-running to the aforementioned room, pushing past Zack roughly as he slid to a halt in front of the toilet and proceeded to fall to his knees, either hand gripping the seat for dear life, and empty the contents of his stomach. The putrid taste, the horrible, burning feeling in his throat God, he must have been HAMMERED

he vaguely heard Zack say from behind him, probably more out of a disgust of the vomiting than sympathy for Cid's utter misery.

Then again, throwing up was pretty nasty

The pilot closed his eyes after the last lurch in his stomach was through antagonizing him. Slowly, he pulled away from the toilet bowl, falling into a weak sitting position against the bathtub nearby with both arms wrapped around his abdomen. His face was twisted into a strange sort of grimace, and he found the courage to pull a hand from his unbearably nauseous stomach and wipe the remnants of vomit from his lips with the back of his hand. His mouth still burned with acid, though.

He was too tired to think, too tired to blame himself, too tired to try to compare this agony to his previous illness, too tired to figure out why the hell he'd drunk himself into oblivion in the first place, because obviously, even though he couldn't remember it, he HAD.

Cid tried his best to be strong against his new foe, but he couldn't stop himself from whimpering slightly as a new wave of pain and memories bubbled up from his stomach to his brain. Most of the images were still to fuzzy to remember warnings, talk, talk, talk, I wish I could have him

The FUCK?!

His head snapped up despite the pain, and he stared with wide eyes towards his friend's somewhat disgruntled, somewhat puzzled face, breathing hard, hands clenched tighter around his gut—hands, hands, face hand on face face, face pretty face?

He turned away, shutting his eyes tightly at the sight that had jogged his memory, bringing up one other string of words he had unwittingly uttered.

He brought half-clenched fists to his forehead, groaning. I did do something stupid He opened an eye, wincing slightly. Didn't I

Zack smiled wryly. It depends on what you consider he responded, leaning against the doorframe. Told me about a little thing you did way back when

I did what now? Cid blinked a couple of times before the pain arrested him once more and he shrunk down, gritting his teeth.

Ehh, never mind, Zack said, waving him off. You might wanna wash your face off there. Need some pills or a pillow or a heating pad or something? Seemed he was by now used to taking care of his friend.

I'm FINE, Cid growled, attempting to stall Zack's actions as mother hen just before he fell onto his side, curling up into a rather pitiful fetal position as he gave out a cry of pain. Obviously, the pilot had been exaggerating.

Zack blinked, pushing off of the doorframe and walking over; forced to pause and hold his towel firmly before he continued on the trek to his friend. Very fine, there, he said, smirking as he sat down next to the pathetic pilot. He rested a hand on his chin and watched as Cid writhed in pain with a mild indifference. Cid looked up, bitterly noticing that Zack had probably had to deal with too many hung-over friends beforehand to express any pity.

Shut up, he grated, something violent still managing to show through his eyes during his agony. He looked away, thinking irrational thoughts to himself.

Oh Jesus, what the fuck did I--? Why do you get yourself into these situations, Cid, WHY?!

Smile, touch, talk. Zack, you're so beautiful

I was drunk. Cid rolled over so that his back was facing his friend as he pointedly ignored him. I don't what the fuck—maybe if I pretend I don't remember a damn thing...

Well, sorry for acting concerned, Zack groaned, rolling his eyes. I wouldn't be bothering you if you weren't occupying the bathroom I need to change in, he said, tossing his head and therefore sprinkling Cid with some droplets of water. Unless you wait in here while I change outside. He raised an eyebrow, and it seemed he was waiting for Cid's opinion.

Cid didn't respond; he only curled up even further into himself, back still facing his friend.

The pilot could hear Zack begin to walk forward. If you don't want to move, I suppose I COULD change while you're still here

Cid somehow shot up to his feet in a split second, arms held tightly to each other, breathing hard. He began shuffling towards the door, eyes fixed on Zack the whole time. I—I think I can walk now

Zack smiled sweetly as he followed him to the door and slammed it behind him once he exited.

It was only a few minutes later that he was back out in the main part of the room, hair still dripping slightly. He paced over to his suitcase yet again and fumbled through it for a few seconds before he stood up, victorious, with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

He walked over to the table set up in the hotel room, expertly sliding out one cancer stick and leaving the rest of them in the pack on the tabletop. Pacing across the small room, he flicked on the lighter, lit up, and then swiped the lighter downwards to suavely extinguish the flame, tossing it over his shoulder where it landed neatly next to the pack.

I'm gonna take a walk, he spoke around the cigarette now pressed between his lips. He made his way to the door, hand linking around the doorknob; he raised his left hand in good-bye and then said, Rest up, as he left.

Cid glared as his friend sauntered out, having already found a somewhat comfortable spot on the bed that he didn't want to get up from, even if it meant letting his friend leave after smoking one of those disgusting things and the inability to rinse the puking's aftertaste from his mouth. He closed his eyes, otherwise completely still.

Fuck, I—I swear to God, I'll never drink another cup of oh, fukkit, you know you will

He rolled over onto his side, running a hand through his hair, and wincing when he felt it to be slightly greasy. He pulled his hand away, staring at his fingers dubiously. God, he probably looked like hell

Another unbearably harsh headache came on, but this time he staggered upwards even as he held his right palm to the source of the pain.

The pilot hissed under his breath as he made his way to his duffel bag at the foot of the opposite dresser and began madly tearing through it with his left hand for something—anything—to help ease his agony. After finishing and cursing himself for not having packed any pain relievers, his narrowed eyes then wandered over to Zack's half-opened bag besides his own.

Fuck no, he grumbled to himself, pulling himself to his feet and stumbling haphazardly back towards the bed. Who knows what kind of shit he has in there DAMMIT!! He shrunk down again, grabbing his head and finding himself making pitiful noises that were ten times more pained than before now that there wasn't anyone around to impress.

he grunted, somehow finding his balance by putting one palm on the top of the adjacent table. However, as he pulled himself forward, his fingers hit something on the tabletop and he looked down.

The pack of cigarettes, lying innocently enough, half-opened with one cig temptingly poking out.

Cid blinked, mind blank. He looked away, closing his eyes.

Do you know what those things DO to you?! You'll DIE ten times faster!

Oh, hell! Cid exclaimed, snatching up both it and the nearby lighter and bringing a cancer stick to his mouth. It might work

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Man, did she have to slap me that hard? Zack thought to himself, rubbing his cheek and pouting as he made his way back into the room an hour or two later. All self-pitying thoughts were forgotten, however, when he walked into a room full of smoke. Literally full of it. He immediately collapsed into coughs and batted at his eyes that were burning from the onslaught.

Jesus Cid, what Another fit of coughing, and he knew his ribs were going to be sore if he kept this up. What happened? He was swiping with his arms to try and make a clear path through the dense smoke, searching desperately for the blonde. Had something burned?

And there was Cid, lying on top of the bed, looking totally relaxed with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths off of a lit



Zack stood there, arms tensed as he watched the other in awe. he asked, voice raised a few octaves in shock. Hadn't he just been preaching about the dangers of smoking not too long ago?

Cid opened an eye, blinking twice before frowning.

Oh. You're back. He closed his eyes, taking a drag and rolling over so that his back faced the other.

...Fine. FINE. If you can do that shit that so can I! Zack grabbed the pack of cigarettes and lit up as well, ignoring how much he had sounded like his friend just then.

Cid barked, jumping to his feet and marching towards the other. he shook the end of the cig at his friend, causing a few specks of ash to fall from its butt. —is just a one-day thing, all right?! To get rid of my hangover. An' it's been workin' so far, so let's just stop the yellin' and get down to business.

The pilot looked away for a moment, putting his lips to the cigarette and breathing in the fumes almost nervously. His eyes darted back, hard and serious and somewhat tired. What the hell happened last night, Zack?

Zack most definitely didn't want to talk about it, but he didn't have much of a choice. Sighing, he paced over to the windows and opened them to dispense of some of the smoke, shooing it out with more swiping of his arms. With that taken care of, he fell onto the empty bed. What do you mean, What happened'? You got hammered and then went into inane babble about the one girl you fucked, then went to sleep. That's about it. The words were spoken rather harshly, but he was trying to avoid anything sentimental. He sort of felt that might be impossible.

Cid's eyes widened and then narrowed one after the other as Zack spoke those words. His teeth were grit even as he spoke.

What did you just say He growled, taking a step forward.

Yeah, Zack really wasn't in the mood for this. Did I stutter?

Cid was silent, fists clenching and then unclenching again. Finally, he turned his head away, closing his eyes again and taking one more drag.

Well, then, how much did I fucking say?! He was relatively quiet, in an unsettling way, as if something very personal had been violated or betrayed.

Zack grumbled haughtily before answering. Just that cause of some rumors you were forced into doing some girl even if you hated it and I said something about it being better if you were doing it with someone you really cared about and we fell asleep not too long after that

I see Cid responded tonelessly, opening blank eyes. He was silent a moment, realizing that his cigarette had nearly run out and he wordlessly took it and extinguished it in the inn-provided ashtray. He closed his eyes as if unbearably tired, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, leaning over.

Zack watched him apathetically for a few moments. What's wrong? he asked almost grudgingly. All these sour moods were beginning to bother him, and he wished they could delve into that carefree attitude again.

Cid responded, looking up with dead eyes and a wry smile. 'Cept I think you know more about me than anyone el He trailed off, shaking his head. Never mind. Just never let me get that drunk again

Zack merely shrugged. It was your own fault you got so drunk, y'know I tried to stop you. He took his own cigarette out of his mouth for a moment to blow out some smoke and further pollute the air. As far as me knowing more about you, it really isn't that big of a deal. Now, if you had some kinky sex scandal with your brother or something, then I'd have some real blackmail material. But just a normal fuck? He waved him off. No biggie.

Cid arched an eyebrow very dubiously. The fu—I don't even have any brothers He looked away, groping for the pocket in his pants that he had situated the pack of cigs in. Y'know, we should probably jus' rest up a day Take in the sun

Zack flipped a hand through his hair as he thought this over. It's not really my choice since I don't know how strapped for time we are. If we can afford it, sure, why not? I still need to catch up on my sleep from the other night He rubbed at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger as he waited to see Cid's opinion on the matter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah Cid responded, closing his eyes once more as he leaned back into the pillow and lit another cigarette. Zack wondered how much of the bad habit Cid had picked up directly from him since most of his movements with the smoke seemed to match his own. Sure, take a day off whatever

Zack, already on his own bed, found sleep came far easier than he thought it would.

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When they finally got on the road again, neither of them spoke for a long while. Even though they had a day and a night of healthy, normal relaxation to cool off the collectively stressed nerves that inhabited their bodies, it was still awkward to converse in wake of what had happened that one drunken night, and Cid seemed to be avoiding the subject completely.

For once Zack wasn't sleeping while they drove since they were allowed to sleep so much the day before, and so he was surprised that even now they weren't talking. He kept glancing over at the other and trying to think of something to say.

Cid do you uh Looking out the window, he happened to see some cows grazing. Do you like cow milk or goat milk better?

You're weird, kid, Cid responded with a sigh, leaning back further into his seat. Real weird

Zack gave an indignant crossing his arms and staring harder at the scenery. Cid was the weird one. Zack really couldn't figure him out. Usually he was fairly good at picking people apart, but Cid was a tough nut to crack. Sometimes he was a total asshole—well, that was more like before. Lately he had been overly nice to the point that it made Zack want to rip his hair out.

He was still mean to everyone else maybe he was just trying to be nice to him? But why? Blinking at the blonde, he pondered over him carefully. And with what he had said the other night, even if he had been drunk, Zack had to wonder. Maybe he's just doing his best to act like he likes me to make things easier.

Eh, Cid, what do you think of me?

Cid seemed to tense up, hands clenched on the wheel. Seemed he remember at least some of the night he would have rather forgotten.

Are you tryin' to bullshit me, jokin' like that? He sighed in exasperation.

Zack blinked at him, confused for a moment. Then he realized that Cid asked him the same question on that night. But that meant

He remembers it?

Eh, forget it, he grumbled.

Cid didn't seem to realize his slip and blinked, turning back towards the road. Nothing but open country now—God knew how long it would take to get to their ultimate destination, whatever it might be. With all the crap that had gone on so far, who knew what would have transgressed by the end of their journey

Suddenly, Cid jerked upwards, and he started at Zack, who looked back, nonplussed.

Cid started, eyes wide. He bit his lip and looked back to the road. Seemed he'd realized his mistake.

Zack shook his head, tossing black spikes. No, don't worry about it! Somehow that seemed like the wrong thing to say. He almost blushed as he stared down at his joined hands. I just I understand that anything you said then was probably unintentional Sort of a lie since he was really beginning to rethink his ideas as far as Cid's sexuality went.

But don't feel like you have to be mean to me to counter it or something cause yeah, I--I like you more when you're nice and feel free to ask me about stuff if you're worried, I won't get mad. I was being stupid and I shouldn't have been mean to you when you were trying to be nice. He was rambling quite a bit and talking fast so that Cid couldn't interrupt. But I don't want you doing it just because you feel like you need to make something up to me.

I looked after you when you were sick out of the goodness of my heart, so if you do anything for me it should be out of the goodness of your heart, too. He was staring at the other intensely as he made his speech, a surge of emotions bubbling up into his eyes. He then closed those glowing oculars, waiting for a response.

Cid stared back, words escaping him as he found he couldn't take his eyes off the other until they began to swerve off the road.

H-hey, I'm tryin' to drive here, the blonde mumbled, halfheartedly putting his eyes back on the road. He was visibly red and he hated it.

A moment of silence.

I--I'm nice-- Cid stared, then faltered. ...I'm nice...?

Yeah, yeah, you're nice, Zack said, waving the man off since he now felt a bit stupid about saying all of that. He leaned back into his seat, staring out at the road. Friends, though, right?

Nice?! Yeah, friends. The redness slowly began to fade away and the pilot turned his head slightly, blue eyes a little tired as he gave a weak smile, but a warm one--and those in and of themselves were rare enough. There was something that happened when Cid smiled like that, as if dark clouds opened up at one small point and let sunshine filter down...

You're fucked up, Zack. He turned back towards the windshield. Only someone fucked up would call me nice...

Oh, can it. I may be fucked up, but not for thinking you're nice. Everyone is nice sometimes, even if they act like they're always Mister Mean Man. He smiled back and then rolled down the window, staring out as he let the wind sift through his hair.

Whatever you say, man, Cid laughed, and Zack had to stop himself from blabbing out how the blonde was echoing the exact words that he had used when Geez, Cid had been so drunk. I still say you're a numbskull.

Zack laughed back, though he honestly thought he wasn't. He smiled, arching his neck up to catch more of the wind from the window and beginning to understand something a little bit more. Cid really was a good guy, even if he didn't know it himself.

What the hell, Zack grinned. Maybe we'll actually enjoy this trip after all

Zack rested his elbow against the top of the door and laughed.

Regardless, that was pretty good sex.

Cid sighed happily, staring off into space for a few long seconds.

Wait.

Cid suddenly swerved off the road into the grass, breathing hard and erratically. Zack received the most intensely frightened stare that anyone had ever given him.

Whoa, buddy, he said with a grin at the bewildered pilot. What sort of dreams are you having?

Cid stammered in terror.

Zack chuckled, shaking his head. Nah, man, I'm just messing.

G-g-GOD DAMMIT! Cid yelled at the top of his lungs, slamming a fist on the steering wheel and causing not only the horn to blare but also the airbags to explode from their confines, snapping Cid and Zack back into their seats from the impact.

They both sat there a moment, silent.

Jesus, Cid, you are such an idiot.

Shut up.



Just SHUT THE FUCK UP.

We're going to need to call a mechanic or—

DAMMIT, Zack, I AM a mechanic!

the porcupine growled, madly slapping and punching down the bags, trying to deflate them as he glared at his friend. Then YOU go and fix your OWN damn problem, cause I don't really—

Suddenly, he realized how much he sounded like a certain someone and paused, blinking.

Cid stared for a moment and then, with a wrench of the wrist, slammed the door open and stumbled out of the car, grumbling to himself.

Whatever, kid He muttered, making his way to the back in an effort to grab some form of equipment.