Chapter 15

Nerys considered the woodlands at Pirovania to be one of the estate's best attributes. In the days and weeks following the loss of her child, Nerys sought refuge in their deep shadows and unbroken calm. She could sit and stare at her surroundings for hours, surprised by how quickly the days passed. Her miscarriage and captivity left her with an impenetrable depression. She had great difficulty forming and retaining thoughts, even more so than before the miscarriage. Rathaus was no help to her, for it was clear to her that for unknown reasons, he had poisoned her drink that night. The housekeeper and maids were of no assistance; the specter of rank reared up in even the shortest of conversations. Nerys also knew that she was a prisoner on the estate, though she no longer cared.

When she first arrived at Pirovania, she took long walks through the woods for exercise. Later, she took them in search of the forcefield's power source, or a way to escape. She still had no idea where the security system was even controlled despite her earlier, frantic searching. The joy of her new marriage had turned to survival in her first weeks on the plane and now survival had turned to depression and loss. These days, she sought the woods only for solitude.

The shadows amongst the trees hid her tears as she sought a favourite glade. The loud calls of the birds muffled her sobs. She sank to the ground in utter desolation. Nothing in her past, not the Occupation, nor the loss of Odo, not even the deaths of her family, had prepared her for the loss of her child.

She sat quietly, weeping low into her hands, her eyes covered by her fingers. At first, the light touch upon her shoulder did not register in her mind. The knowledge that she was no longer alone slammed into her suddenly. She jumped and swung around to find her intruder. The sight of his familiar face froze her instantly. Her voice was unsteady with tears and the quick shot of adrenaline. "Odo?"

"Nerys." His posture, rigid, cautious.

"How did you get in here?"

He relaxed somewhat. "Rathaus' security is not quite as impenetrable as it is reputed to be. When the forcefield was lowered to allow a transfer of grain to leave the estate, I simply became part of the grain. Apparently, your husband never expected a changeling to visit."

She did not know what to do. She wanted so badly to run into his arms and beg his forgiveness, but she had no idea what his reaction might be. She had married another man mere months after leaving him with the Great Link. Kira felt ridiculous in front of him. The woman who stood before him now was nothing like the woman he had left standing on the rocky shores of his homeworld. She had been reduced to a mere shell, a sad specter of the indomitable Colonel he had left. She had allowed herself to be seduced, then horribly abused, by a sociopath. Yet she bravely stood there, presenting her decimated spirit to his shadowed eyes.

"Why are you here?" she finally asked.

"You have good friends on Deep Space Nine. They thought that you might need help; Quark came to the Great Link, himself."

"And you came all this way, you left the Link, for me?" she asked tentatively.

"Nerys," his expression softened, "I will always come for you."

His answer finally broke down her reserve and she fell into his embrace. She buried her head in his shoulder, crying softly, "I never thought I'd see you again."

"Oh, Nerys," he murmured, his lips in her hair. "What has he done to you?"

After a few minutes, she calmed down and pulled away from him, only to lose herself in his familiar, blue eyes.

"I have some things we need to talk about. I've found out some unpleasant things about Rathaus."

"Of course," she regained herself. "Sit down. This is the best place to talk. No one ever comes here." She sat down on the ground once more, preparing herself for yet more misery.

Odo sat beside her, stretching his long legs in front of him, and took both her hands in his. "He's a very difficult man to trace, which raised my suspicion immediately. Most of the information was discovered by Jake through the Federation News Archives, though Jakes agrees with me that there should be much more information in the Archives than there is. I think Rathaus has been actively removing information when he can. Jake was able to discover that he's been married several times and while he'll never be prosecuted due to legal technicalities, he probably killed at least two of his wives.

Rathaus' first wife served as a government official on New Saturn. Less than two years after their marriage, she fell out a third-story window, at this house, onto a rock walkway below. Before her death, she contacted members of her family predicting that he might try to harm her.

His second wife died as a result of an overdose of an illegal aphrodisiac mixed with alcohol. The second Mrs. Rathaus was reported by her husband to be very fond of this extremely rare and expensive aphrodisiac, which is odd since prior to her sudden marriage, she served as high priestess in an extremely conservative religious order. They practiced sex only for the act of propagation and then only under very specific circumstances.

"No one seems to know what happened to his parents, or where they might be at this time. However, Rathaus conveniently managed to inherit this estate along with the rest of their considerable wealth. According to Ambassador Troi, he is considered an outcast on Betazed and appears to avoid contact of any type with other Betazoids. In fact, despite his extensive travels he seems to avoid all telepaths. It's particularly unusual because Betazoids are, by nature, extremely social. Mrs. Troi was unable to tell us anything about his telepathic skills. It is possible that he can influence non-telepaths as well as read their thoughts."

His hands tightened around hers. "I'm afraid for you, Nerys. I think he's controlling your thoughts and feeding off your pain. He targeted you for your strength. The longer you suffer, the more of a high he's getting."

Here eyes welled up in tears. "I'm so humiliated." She told him about her discoveries on his computer.

He pulled her close to him. "You didn't let this happen. Rathaus carefully coordinated everything so that he could use your strengths against you. I think he wanted you to know that you'd been caught. It's the only explanation for the lack of security on his computer. You're still the same Nerys; he's using telepathy and terror to keep you from realizing that. No one could withstand an assault like this.

"The most important thing is that we get you out of here as quickly as possible. Getting you through the forcefield will be a problem, though. Until I can find the power source, no one can enter or leave without Rathaus' permission.

"Given the type of women he seems drawn to, Bashir and I think he's using something more than his telepathic abilities to control you. Do you have any insight into what that may be?"

"No. He poisoned my wine a few weeks ago, though." She winced before going on. "I miscarried later that night."

"I'm sorry." Odo glanced away from her for a moment. "That must have been terrifying."

"Did you know?"

"About your pregnancy? Yes, Bashir thought that it was important to tell me about it considering the circumstances."

"I'm sorry."

Odo looked bewildered. "For what?"

"For running off and marrying the first man who asked. For never marrying you – for getting pregnant."

He pulled her toward him in a tender embrace and whispered into her hair. "Nerys, I love you, I want you to be happy. I wish we could have stayed together, that I could have given you a child. But that was impossible and I'd hoped that you could go on with your life."

She relaxed into him for a moment before pulling away and returning to the business at hand. "He could be using anything. He has control of everything I eat, drink, and breathe. He even chooses my clothes."

Odo thought for a moment. "Whatever it is, he's probably using the same delivery method every time. Rathaus isn't the type to leave too much to chance. It would have to be something you come into regular contact with so that he can keep the doses consistent."

"I'll try to pay closer attention. It's not so easy anymore, though. I kept forgetting things even before the baby died, but it's much worse, now."

He hugged her close. "You're no doubt suffering from depression on top of all the mind-control. Right now, you should try to rest and build up your reserves. Let me look for a way out.

"I need to have a better look around. I wanted to find you as soon as possible." He let go of her reluctantly and stood up. "Keep to your normal schedule as much as you can. Rathaus can most likely read your mind, but I'd like to keep him unaware of my presence for as long as possible. Will you be alright here?"

She nodded. "I have to appear at dinner later this evening, but I can stay here until then. I'm relatively safe out here." Kira reached out for his hand before uttering a simple, "thank you."

He reached down for a moment and stroked her cheek. "You're welcome," he answered before turning and walking away.