I have taken into consideration the immense time it has taken me to work on this chapter more, but I had a great deal of 'finding myself' to do before I felt ready enough to keep writing. Plus I had writers block all summer. And even though this chapter is not at the full level of…wellness I would like it to be, it was already written, and I am just going to strive to do better on the next one. Which will be up soon. And will have correct grammar. Promise. Okay? Thanks so much for the amount of feedback I have received in the last month. I hope everyone has had a happy Christmahanukhakwanzaa! And Happy Valentines day.
Tarra
Chapter 13
Strange Feelings
"Tarra? What are you doing out here?"
Millie looked really worried, and almost…scared.
Her face was flushed, which was strange, since she was normally very pale.
"Hello, Millie. I was just out for a walk."
I felt guilty, as this was not the entire truth. After my encounter with the gypsies, I had aimlessly walked for an hour until I found myself finally going home. All the excitement about visiting Ben had drained away, and I felt more like being alone for a while before visiting him again.
"Oh…Well then, I will be…um…on my way."
I nodded, though I felt a bit confused. What had I caught her doing that she was so ready to get away from?
"Alright. I will be out riding, if anyone needs me."
I hadn't even planned on going ridding. Oh, well, if that's what I said, that's what my mind wanted to do, right…? I was so confused.
"Alright… Oh, Before I forget: Mark told me that he wanted to speak to you, whenever your ready to come in and see him."
I nodded and made my way over to the stable door, which was conveniently beside Millie.
I opened the door and walked in, finding the stable hand ready and waiting for my commands.
"Josef, Can you saddle Bandit for me? I would very much like to go out in a minute."
Josef nodded as he quickly got out the necessary saddle and horse bit.
I turned to where the horses where kept when I saw something run from Bandit's stable to another one out of the corner of my eye.
Wipping around, I started for the stable 'it' had run in to.
Surprisingly, Millie was still there and rushed in front of me.
"No! I mean, what are you doing, Tarra?"
I stared at her.
"… I thought I just saw someone running in here or something, so I thought I would… look and see if I really saw… something."
Millie made a desperate sound.
"Oh, Tarra…"
I watched her for a minute.
"What aren't you telling me, Millie?"
She sighed and opened the stall door.
I stared.
Inside the stable was…well, Tomas.
Tomas was one of the knights. Actually, at 16, he was the youngest knight in the assembly, but had made it to be one of the warriors of the castle with his excellent skill in sword fighting, under a other talents.
"Tarra…?" Millie whispered.
I closed my mouth.
"Oh, Millie…"
"Tarra, please don't tell anyone! I'm begging you, mother and father would be so…so…"
I looked at her. Did this actually mean something? That wasn't even what I had been thinking!
Tomas hung his head.
"…Disappointed."
Millie looked at him and shook her head.
"That's not true, Tomas. You know how I feel about you, that I don't care what anyone says."
She walked up to him and hugged him tight. Tomas turned and kissed her lightly on her forehead.
Dumfounded, I stood there gaping.
Millie? Innocent, I'm-of-no-importance-don't-notice-me Millie? Quiet, shy, 15 year old Millie? This couldn't be. And I thought I was the one leading a double life!
"Millie, Tomas… I… I don't know what to say."
Tomas looked at me with pleading eyes.
"Say you wont tell anyone. Please, Princess—I would be lucky to only be banished! And I couldn't stand being away from your sister. I beg you."
I shook my head.
"Of course I wont tell anyone. I'm just so terribly surprised. I mean, Millie…who would have thought?"
She grinned and hugged me.
'Hugging seems to be a habit we both have…' I thought to myself.
"Thank you so much, Tarra. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."
At this moment Josef came back with Bandit. He stopped, looked at us, and shook his head.
"So you found out, eh?"
I stared.
"You know about this?"
Josef nodded.
"What can I say? My little brother here was bound to get caught sometime, messin' around with a princess like that. Told him, I said: 'you better stop this nonsense!' but did he listen to me? I dun' think he did."
"I have told you, where not messing around! I love her, Josef."
I looked at Millie.
"Tomas is Josef's brother? You guys are in love?"
Millie looked at Tomas.
"Yes, I think we are."
They grinned at each other.
Josef rolled his eyes.
"Could never stand all that mushy stuff. Here's Bandit, princess. Have a nice ride."
I just shook my head and took Bandit's rains.
Millie isn't justcourting Tomas, but they're in love? Real, down to earth, 'I love you' kind of love.
It felt good to see that, like a reassurance that love actually existed. Many times it seemed to good to be true.
Climbing on to Bandit's back, I turned to go.
"Be careful, okay? Don't be blinded by reality. I hope for the best, and pray you don't get caught…Good bye!"
Millie and Tomas waived, and Tomas whispered something in Millie's ear. Millie swiped at him playfully, and they returned to the stables to (I hoped) part.
Kicking Bandit with my heels, I rode on, out into the field.
The sun was high in the sky and the birds sung happily to each other.
But once again Igot a sad feeling.
It nagged at my brain like a song that wont leave you, only I couldn't understand in the slightest what the words to the song where.
Something was bothering me, which was obvious.
Something important, but so hard to reach.
"Bandit, what's wrong with me?"
My own words startled me, but I kept talking.
"I'm so different."
I said the words like I had never known them; as if I had never thought them before.
"I mean, of course I'm different. Everyone's different. But I'm so… so incredibly different. Like I'm a total different species. But how could that be, Bandit?"
Mark's horse neighed and shook its mane.
I rode his horse more than my own, because I liked Bandit's way more. Not just that, though. The thought of a young princess on a black horse was crazy. So ludicrous, in fact, that I just had to do it.
How could anyone take me seriously if I was on a white horse named Star? That's so…girly.
I scowled at that word.
Girly was everything I strived not to be. I have always wanted to be seen as another human being, an equal. Not the rich female who is probably so spoiled she doesn't even know what 'working for a living' means. That was a despicable stereotype, and I despised it.
Bandit suddenly pulled me in a random direction, galloping faster than he had in a long time.
"Bandit! What are you doing? Stop, Stop!"
I pulled the reins back as hard as I could.
He ignored my commands, shook his mane, and galloped on.
Being able to do nothing but hold on, I rapped my arms around his strong neck and tried waiting it out.
The wind whipped at my face and I could see the scenery change a bit with each step Bandit took. I finally closed my eyes and wished that he didn't decide to throw me off.
A while later, Bandit came to a slow trot and I opened my eyes.
Looking around, I realized where we were. Right in front of me was the old tree where I had sat with Ben and eaten my picnic lunch.
"But that means…"
I looked to the side, and sure enough, a few paces away was the hill that led to Ben and Sirus' farmhouse.
As if reading my thoughts, Bandit started pulling toward the boy's house.
"No, Bandit! I…. I'm not really…. ready to go there right now. Don't you understand? I want to be alone."
Bandit ignored me again and steadily kept trotting.
Grumbling, I decided to just let the stupid animal go where he wanted. Its not like I had much say in the matter, anyway.
Bandit walked around the fields, to the house and all the way to their doorstep. Then he stopped, as if waiting for me to get off and go knock.
"You can't force me to knock, Bandit."
He shook his mane over and over and I almost lost my balance.
'Okay… Maybe he can…'Grumbling, I climbed off the horses back and walked up to the door.
About to knock, the door opened with my hand still in midair.
"Tarra?"
I stared, bewildered, at Ben's face.
"Oh…hello."
"Hi."
We stood there in awkwardness for quite some time when he finally said,
"Um… I have to get to school."
"Isn't it a bit late in the day for that? And since when do you go to school?"
I was surprised with the bitterness in my voice. Why would I want to be mean to Ben?
He blushed.
"Well, Sirus got the idea in his head that I should go to school while I'm here, not to mention work on the farm too, and obviously I have no say in the matter. Today was going to be my first day, but Sirus needed help, so I'm supposed to use that as an excuse for showing up at school about five hours late."
He didn't seem in to good a mood either.
"Oh… well… Sorry… for…snapping… Um…. Hey, would it be okay if I went to school with you?"
I blurted the words out quickly, again something without a single thought connected to it.
He looked at me a for a minute, then grinned.
"What, school at the palace isn't good enough for you?"
I blushed then, and shrugged my shoulders.
"Please…?"
"Your serious?"
I nodded.
"Uh… well… I gather your clothes don't look to…suspicious..."
I laughed and nodded.
"I don't have anything else."
He thought for a minute.
"Well… if you are serious about coming to the village, I think you look fine."
I hadn't even thought that he was considering letting me go with him.
To the village? Adrenaline rushed through my veins with the exiting thoughts of going where I had always wanted to go, where I was banned from ever seeing. 'Thank god Ben doesn't know that I am not even allowed to think about being there under any circumstances.' I thought gratefully.
"Shall we?"
He offered his arm, and I happily took it.
I'd like to say we skipped down the bright road, off into happy land… But sadly, that was not the case. I didn't know what kind of trouble I was actually getting myself in to, or how the day would end. And I'm glad now, that I didn't know, because if I had, I wouldn't have taken the chance I did, and wouldn't have taken the risks I was to take.