See first chapter for notes and warnings.

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Remus spent his first dinner as a Hogwarts professor staring blankly into space. Though he had tried to conjure up sufficient mental energy to pay attention to the sorting ceremony, he couldn't really bring himself to care, and the seemingly endless stream of first year students passed by all but unnoticed. He plastered a rather fake smile on his face, which he hoped looked convincing enough to anyone who might take notice, and pretended to listen to Dumbledore's start of term speech.

The speech apparently hadn't changed since he had been a student himself; it was doubtful that he would miss anything of importance. When a brief smattering of applause broke out, he glanced up, hoping the speech was at an end, and -- by the multitude of curious stares directed at him -- realised that he had just been introduced as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.

Forcing another smile, he nodded to the others seated at the staff table, and the smile was returned by all but one. One pair of very dark, and very familiar eyes were glaring back at him from just down the table. Drawn by those eyes, Remus turned fully to see Professor Severus Snape staring at him with unsuppressed loathing. His attempt at a smile faltering, Remus turned quickly away.

Seeking distraction, he reached for his goblet, which had just been magically filled, and drank without pausing to see what it contained. The unexpected taste of pumpkin juice nearly caused him to choke and he swallowed with difficulty before slamming the goblet back down onto the table -- with perhaps more force than was truly needed -- and casting a brief, annoyed glance at the headmaster.

"Manipulative old bastard," Remus thought to himself. He truly doubted that the other professors were drinking pumpkin juice tonight. A single glass of wine would hardly be detrimental, and would work wonders towards calming his nerves. It had been nearly a week since he'd had a real drink and his mind was screaming for the relaxation it had long come to expect from alcohol.

When Dumbledore had dropped by his flat a week previously, to explain the conditions surrounding his employment, Remus had agreed readily. Of course he wouldn't allow himself to become drunk in front of the students. It was one thing to give in to drinking on the job when you worked in a pub, but he would hardly show up to teach a class of students after indulging in one too many drinks.

But after the incident on the train.... The chill of the dementor, the sound of Sirius's insane laughter echoing through his mind, and then seeing Harry -- looking so much like his father -- lying still as death on the compartment floor....

He could truly use a drink.

Remus idly fingered the wand resting in the sleeve of his robe and wondered if he could transfigure his drink into something more palatable without attracting notice. Sighing, he decided not to risk it. He could always make a trip into Hogsmeade, once the students were safely in bed, if he still felt the need.

Picking up the drink, more from the need to occupy his hands, than from any real desire to drink more pumpkin juice, he glanced around the table again. He froze when his eyes locked once again with the hate filled glare of Severus Snape. His gut clenched with long forgotten remorse. He truly hadn't thought that after all these years Severus's hatred could still cause him such pain. Against his will, he found himself remembering a time when those dark eyes had looked at him in a very different way...

Remus hadn't even realised that he was watching him. His mind had drifted from the conversation rather early on, and his eyes moved lazily across the open courtyard. He didn't even notice that his vision had focused on the dark figure until the boy looked up and their eyes locked together.

Something seemed to pass between them in that moment: an unspoken realisation that deep down they were very much the same; they both had secrets and hidden pain. For an instant, Remus felt a nearly unbearable urge to stand and cross the courtyard towards the other boy. He watched as a small frown creased the boy's brow and he faltered in his progress across the courtyard, pausing, and turning slightly as though to walk towards Remus.

The connection was broken when Remus felt a sharp jab to his ribs.

"Are you even listening?" Sirius demanded.

"What?" he asked. "Oh, sorry. I got distracted." He looked back, but the dark robed boy was already disappearing through an archway into the ancient castle.

Following his eyes, Sirius frowned. "What could be so distracting about Snivellus Snape?"

"I...wanted to borrow his potions notes," Remus said quickly. "For the exam."

"You want help from that creep?" Sirius asked with a disdainful laugh. "Take my notes. At least they won't be covered in grease."

"Oh lay off, Sirius," Remus said in exasperation. "He isn't that bad."

Sirius's eyes narrowed and his voice dropped dangerously low. "When did you start defending that greasy snake?"

"Hey!" Remus protested. "I'm not defending him. There's no need to get jealous. But he is the best at potions. I just want to pass my exam." The last full moon had been particularly hard on him, and he had spent several days recovering in the hospital wing. If he didn't find time to study, with accurate notes, he would never pass the upcoming exam.

Sirius continued to regard Remus suspiciously, and a muscle in his jaw began to twitch ominously, but the full brunt of his temper was averted when he glanced up and saw James and Peter approaching. Remus breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Remus breathed a silent sigh of relief. It had seemed that the feast would never end. He had felt the cold presence of Snape's angry glare for the entire meal, though he had steadfastly refused to look up and give the other man the satisfaction of seeing how much it troubled him. Remus's plate was still nearly full, what little appetite he might have had having been lost the second he looked into that scowling face.

The great hall was clearing out quickly; the students were in an obvious hurry to make their way to their common rooms and catch up with their housemates. Remus could only vaguely remember having felt that same excitement himself, long ago. Now all he wanted was to be alone. Thankfully, it looked as though he would be able to make a clean escape, and reach his rooms without being forced to stop and speak with anyone. Moments before he reached the door, however, Dumbledore stopped him.

"A moment, if you would, Remus," he said quietly.

Remus sighed in resignation. He had been so close. Forcing a smile, he said evenly, "Of course, sir."

"Albus, please," the old man insisted. "You're not a student anymore, after all."

"Of course," Remus repeated, with a diffident nod. He turned and silently followed Albus to his office, sinking gratefully into the plush armchair that was offered when they arrived. The stresses of the day were beginning to take their toll on him, and he felt a dreadful weariness that seemed to extend all the way into his bones.

With a wave of his wand, Albus summoned a steaming tea service, which floated down to rest on the centre of his desk. "Tea?" he offered.

Remus waved away the offer, so Albus prepared a cup of tea for himself, then rounded the desk and took the chair opposite Remus, fixing him with a steady gaze from over the tops of his glasses. "You look terrible," he said bluntly.

Remus stared at him in surprise for a long moment, then laughed. "Yes," he agreed, "I suppose I do. Though, I would have expected you to put it rather more diplomatically."

Albus tilted his head and looked at Remus expectantly, as though waiting for him to explain.

"I haven't been sleeping well," Remus said finally, with a dismissive shrug. "Nerves, I suppose, what with the new job and all." He deliberately left unsaid the fact that he had been sleeping poorly for well over ten years now. Any original concerns aside, he was well aware of the fact that he did need this job. Old friend or not, Albus was still his boss.

"Only the job, then?" he asked, his tone clearly conveying the fact that he knew it was much more than that.

Remus sighed. "No. There's the matter of the...escape, as well," he admitted reluctantly. He knew that there was no need to say which escape; Sirius Black's escape from Azkaban had been on the minds and lips of everyone these days.

"Yes," Albus said, his tone growing sober, "his escape is very troubling. But I can assure you that this castle is quite safe."

"I know that," Remus said. He rubbed his brow wearily, and shook his head. "Of course I know that. The children are quite well protected. But even so, just knowing that he's out there, on the loose...it's not a pleasant thought."

"Perhaps you should ask Severus for a sleeping draught," Albus said in an offhand tone. "When you go speak to him."

Remus froze. While he held no illusions that he would be able to avoid the other professor indefinitely, he had hoped to be able to put off any real face to face confrontation for a while longer. Another year or so, perhaps. "Speak to him?"

"Yes," Albus said, "speak to him. As he will be the one preparing your potions, I would think that it would be best if you were at least on speaking terms again."

Remus sighed and slumped slightly in his chair. Even before Albus had mentioned it as a condition of his employment, he had heard of the Wolfsbane Potion, of course. He had not been so out of touch with the Wizarding World that he would have missed such an important development. It was something he had thought he would never be able to have, however, as the price was so prohibitive. If the only way to receive it, was to speak with Severus, then yes, that he could do. But still.... "He hasn't forgiven me," Remus whispered, mostly to himself.

"No, but perhaps some day he will." Albus rose to his feet and smiled, his eyes twinkling knowingly. "You really should try and get some rest."

Remus promised that he would, though, after the incident on the train, he was certain that he might never wish to sleep again. The dreams would almost certainly be all but unbearable. Walking to his quarters, he found the halls deserted, and so he didn't bother forcing the mask of 'excited new professor.' The meeting with Albus had taken longer than he had expected, and as it was already well past curfew, he didn't expect to encounter anyone as he walked through the corridors in a half-daze.

He almost missed the dark figure that was standing next to a window, looking out over the moonlit courtyard. He froze as the figure turned, the silver moon light painting its face an unearthly pale. It was Severus.

"What do you want?" Severus demanded.

Remus was certain that Severus was avoiding him. The other boy would look away when they passed in the hallways, and would change direction if Remus attempted to approach him. Today, however, he found him staring out through a window, towards the setting sun, so lost in the sight that he did not hear his quiet approach.

Remus joined him, unnoticed, at the window and quietly said, "Hello."

Severus jumped, startled, and turned to glare at him. Remus found himself lost in his eyes. He wasn't handsome, not like Sirius was, but his eyes were magnetic. He must have been staring, because Severus took a step back and regarded him suspiciously. "What do you want?"

"I..." He jerked his eyes away and turned to stare out the window, trying to gather his thoughts. "I was hoping you could help me," he said, keeping his eyes averted. "With my potions. For the exam?"

"Why me?" he asked, suspicion heavy in his voice, as though he expected this to be some kind of trick. "I thought you would study with those friends of yours."

Remus shrugged helplessly. "They're no better with potions than I am. You're the best, everyone knows that. If anyone could help me, it would be you."

Apparently flattery would get him somewhere, because Severus began to let down his guard. "There is nothing about potions that cannot be learned through careful study and attention to detail," he said pompously.

"So you'll help me?" Remus asked hopefully.

"Very well then," he agreed, with a long suffering sigh. "When?"

Remus wanted to say, "Now." To drag him into a dark corner of the library where he could stare into Severus's eyes and listen to his strangely melodic voice. Even listening to him recite the ingredients in a sleeping potion would have been a joy. But, it was nearly dinner hour, and Sirius would be looking for him in the Great Hall soon. "Tomorrow?" he ventured, knowing that Sirius had a detention and would be gone until quite late.

"Meet me in the library," Severus said. "Four o'clock. Do not be late." He turned and stalked away, giving Remus no chance to say more.

"What do you want?" Severus demanded again, his voice no less frosty.

Remus's eyes narrowed. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with Snape yet. "From you? Nothing. I was simply going to find my rooms. That my path crossed yours was entirely unintentional, I assure you."

Severus looked at him suspiciously, his dark eyes flashing, and it looked as though he might challenge him on that, but after a moment he seemed to back down. "Very well," he said shortly, turning back to the window. Remus began to walk away, and after a moment, Severus called out to him. "We need to speak, soon."

"Not now," Remus said brusquely, quickening his step. "Tomorrow."

"Fine then," Severus called after him. "Meet me in my office, four o'clock. Do not--"

Remus would never know if he finished that sentence, as he had already fled.