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Chappie-ter numero diez-y-siete: Macy's Madness and a screwed-up mall

Disclaimer: Tra la la and Do re Mi, Nothing rhymes so... screw the poems! I own nothing!

Sakura stretched, looked at her watch, and screamed. "AAAHH!" She screamed. This, of course, brought Yusuke, Kuwabaka, and Kurama running. Hiei couldn't care less.

"What is the problem?" Kurama asked the (still) screaming Sakura. "I just woke up and we have fifteen minutes left until Macy's opens! I wanna shop! AAAHHH!" was Sakura's reply.

"Then why don't you get out of bed and shut the heck up, okay?" Yusuke said, leaving. Kuwabaka and Kurama left as well.

Sakura sat up. "That was fun!" She told herself. Then she got ready to shop.

***At Macy's***

"YAY! Weeee're here!" Sakura called out to absolutely no one in particular. The five of them had just entered the ground floor of the big block-long building otherwise known as Macy's.

"Whooooooa…" Was all that came out of Kuwabara's mouth. "Whoaaaa….." Was all that came out of Yusuke's mouth. "Who—I mean, It is a big department store,{" Kurama added. Hiei just stared at all of the merchandise on the ground floor (jewelry). He had never before seen so many shiny things in all of his life before! He felt his insides starting to squirm. 'Must… steal…shiny…things…' he thought. In a second, he was gone.

"Where'd he go?" Yusuke asked. "Beats me, let's go shopping!" Sakura cried. So they ascended the escalator that brought them to the second floor.

"Second floor… household appliances. No Kurama, you don't get off here," Sakura held him back as a horde of people got on the escalator, which was heading up.

"Third floor…sporting goods and men's apparel. Kuwabara, you can get off here," Sakura pushed him off of the escalator.

"But why? The clothes in this section are too big, and I ain't no jock," Kuwabara insisted.

"Oh, I just didn't feel like looking at your face anymore," Sakura said sweetly. The escalator continued to go up. "Fourth floor… Women's apparel and shoes for the whole family…darn, this is getting repetitive. We're going up again," Sakura noted as they continued to go up.

"How many floors are in this place?" Yusuke asked.

"Seven, I think," Sakura replied. "And here we are at floor… five, which consists of guy's apparel and juniors apparel." She then noticed that the other people on the escalator were giving her dirty looks.

"What's with them?" She asked.

"Maybe you can keep your voice down while you give us the contents of every floor," Kurama advised her.

"Wait, did you say guy's apparel?" Yusuke asked. "I'm outta here," He then jumped down from the escalator, ran from several security guards, and hid under a rack of clothes until the coast was clear.

Sakura turned to Kurama. "Why didn't you leave?" She asked.

"I don't really need a new wardrobe, and I just thought I'd go explore the mall, starting at the top and working down," Kurama explained.

"Sixth floor, girl's apparel and a WacDonald's!" sakura said happily. "My stop."

"See you later," Kurama said, but then he remembe4red something. "What is on the seventh floor?"

"Baby apparel and baby accessories," Sakura said, holding back laughter. Kurama considered this, and then got off at the sixth floor as well.

"Kurama, can you do me a favor?" She asked. "Sure, why not," he said.

"Good! Well can you hold this and this and this and this and this--- wait, give me that back--- and this and this and this *breath* and this and this and this and this---oh, isn't that cute! *squeal*--- and this and this and this and this and this!" Sakura leaned against the now empty clothing rack while Kurama staggered under a pile that stretched several feet high.

"Now can you let me get the first foot of this stack and I'll try them on," Sakura then lifted up the first foot of the clothes pile while Kurama set them all down on a chair.

"Guard those with your life," She told him. Kurama just nodded sheepishly and looked around. He saw a very nice red shirt that looked like it was his size……

*** Five minutes Later***

Sakura came out with two piles balanced on her hands. One was several inches tall, and one was about thrice that (isn't thrice such a fun word!)

"So these are the clothes I'm gonna buy," Sakura said as she set down the several-inch-long pile down beside the monstrous pile, "And these are the throwaways." She then proceeded to toss the pile behind her shoulder, where it was instantly snatched up by prospective shoppers.

"Um…Kurama, what are you staring at?" Sakura asked. Kurama still had not taken his eyes off of the red shirt. "HELLOOOOO?" She yelled. Kurama then lowered his eyes. "It's just… that shirt," he said. "Oh, I see," Sakura replied knowingly. She then snatched up another foot of clothing from the monstrous pile, and left Kurama to stare at the shirt. He was less then a foot away. He could almost touch it…

***Wherever Yusuke is residing at the moment***

Yusuke took a jacket off of a hanger and held it up. 'This looks perfect… my plan to masculize Kurama is wel under way,' he thought. So far, Yusuke had chosen cool-looking black pants and a red shirt that read 'I may be a guy, but I'm not available.' Yusuke thought it was perfect. He then decided to go up to the WacDonald's and have something to eat.

***Wherever Kuwabara is at the moment***

Kuwabara picked up another basketball and aimed. It hit the rim and shooted back, hitting Kuwabara in the face and knocking him back. He got up, giggled stupidly, and reached for another basketball.

***Wherever Sakura and Kurama are at the moment***

Sakura had just gotten through her yay-high clothing stack, and had decided to keep about five inches of it. Kurama was even closer to that red shirt.

"Hey, Kurama," Sakura said, "Don't you think this shirt brings out the blue in my eyes?" Kurama turned around, and facefaulted. "You're… "he started.

"Yup, just as I thought. Let's cash out and meet the others," Sakura said as she attempted to life up the stack.

'You're wearing my shirt,' Kurama thought. He lifted up the shirt and sneaked it into the pile he was carrying when Sakura wasn't looking. She'd never tell. The shirt was only 39 dollars.

At the last minute, Sakura added a little stuffed cat. Then, they joined the long line of shoppers. In front of them was this gaggle of Mexican women who looked like they didn't speak English.

*** 2 Hours Later***

The gaggle of Mexican women was now at the front of the line, and Kurama and Sakura were right behind them.

"I'm sorry, but we don't accept credit cards," the poor confused store clerk was trying to communicate with them.

The gaggle of Mexican women gave up and walked away after several minutes of failed communication.

"Hello," Kurama greeted cheerfully as he thrust his pile of clothes into the poor confused store clerk's face. Sakura did likewise.

"This is going to be difficult," Sakrua whispered to Kurama. "I may not have enough money for all of this. Some of the clothes are pretty expensive."

The manager tried to ring up the first shirt, but it didn't work. He tried again. And again. And again.

*** About 23 tries later***

"Um…This doesn't seem to be ringing up," The poor confused store clerk said poorly and confusedly.

"Oh, really?" Sakura said sarcastically.

"I'll get the manager," the poor confused store clerk said.

***23 minutes later***

"Please…can I kill him?" Sakura asked Kurama for the 23rd time.

"Not until he finishes the transaction," he said.

"Before you pay?" Sakura asked.

"So now I'm paying?" Kurama asked back. "No way. That must cost over $100.

"And the grand total for all of your merchandise is…" The manager said grandly, "$8.23"

For a blessed moment there was silence in the store.

"For all that? Loo, something must really be wrong," Kurama explained.

"You got a pretty good deal," the manager said in utmost defeat.

"Hey Kurama," Sakura said as the manager put her clothes into several bags, "Let's get out while the going's good."

So, they went to WacDonald's and found Yusuke, and then they went to the sporting goods department and found an unconscious Kuwabara. They decided to leave him.

"Let's blow this joint," Yusuke said as they made their way towards an exit via several rickety wooden escalators.

"Hey, I wonder where Hiei is?" Sakura asked as they found themselves back in the jewelry department.

"He's probably off doing something… oh, Hiei, we were just talking about you," Sakura said as Hiei appeared beside them. He seemed… fatter.

"Let's get out of here," he said, looking around nervously.

So they headed straight for the exit doors. The shoplifting detectors were constantly binging as people entered and left.

"This has been a bizarre experience," Kurama noted as they left.

"So where next?" Yusuke said.

"Lunch, and more shopping," Sakura said with a grin.

A/N

Wasn't that peachy? I know it's been forever, but I've been concentrating on Winds of Thyme and Yugana Kashi. So… bear with me. And, from henceforth, I shall be changing the title of the title randomly. Currently, it is: The Title: In Doublevision when drunk. I did get that and future titles from Futurama, which is a really funny show. More for the I-own-nothingness.

C is for cookie, and cookie is for c,

Sakura Takanouchi (Hey! I rhymed!)