Chapter 2

Sheppard's gaze never wavered from the piercing look affixed on him, for some reason, understanding that it was more than just a rhetorical question that McKay had asked. His eyes narrowed at a distant memory before he nodded, "Yeah, I've had a thought or two over the years. You see a face in a marketplace that reminds you of an op gone wrong, of watching a terrorist take out a teammate only to find yourself suddenly having to save his ass for some damn reason or another, but yeah, there are times that to kill a ghost seems the easiest way to kill a memory."

The answer didn't appear to appease the scientist and his search flickered back out over the open water. When a large swell slapped hard against the edge of the pier, effectively soaking both men in its chilly spray, his only reaction was to produce a shaking hand and wipe the water out of his eyes.

"McKay, as much as I'd love to sit out here with you and ponder the past, I'm going to have to insist that we head back inside. Have you taken a look at the sky lately? I'm certain that the temperature's dropped ten degrees while I've been out here, and that storm up there is about to bust loose any second. What do you say I give you a hand up and we head back in to someplace warm and dry?" Not waiting for the scientist to reply, Sheppard pulled himself to his feet before reaching down and securely gripping his friend under the arms, effectively dragging the other man up with him.

Unfortunately, chilled legs that had remained immobile for several hours refused to cooperate and Sheppard had to reposition himself so that they both didn't end up taking a header off the edge when Rodney's insecure stance nearly crumbled. "Whoa, think you can give me a little help here?" John grunted as he wrapped his arm tightly around his friend's side while fixing a lax arm securely over his shoulder.

For the first time since Sheppard had found the scientist, recognition filled McKay's face and he jerked to stare about their location in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Finding your ass before Weir goes on the warpath." When Rodney scrunched his face in confusion but at least now was trying to help walk back inside, the major shook his head in mock disbelief. "I'm not real big on the meet and great banquets either, McKay. But don't you think this is a bit extreme?"

A flash of something unrecognizable passed over the scientist's face but he remained quiet. A large raindrop pelted him on the forehead causing him to look back up and notice the darkening sky for the first time. "Guess I was about to get wet."

"You think? I hate to break it to you, you being the genius and all, but you're already wet. As a matter of fact, we both are."

Rodney stood still, grasping the wall while watching Sheppard punching the sequence to get the door to open. Taking in his friend's soaked appearance, a small smile quirked the corners of his mouth, "Your hair's flat."

"Thank you very much for taking the time to point that out, Rodney. You know, I've spent the last 24 hours turning this place upside down looking for you. All you can do is make comments on my hair?" Without thinking, the major ran his fingers through his wet locks and shoved them away from his face.

That only caused McKay's smile to grow a little more. When Sheppard took him by the arm and helped him inside, he stopped a moment to turn back and watch the heavens open up, a steady deluge of rain now pounded out across the pier. "Thank you."

The major's hazel eyes turned from the rain back towards the scientist. "You're welcome," he answered. "Now, before this love fest goes any further, I need to call in and let the others know I found you." He really wanted to get hold of Beckett and have Rodney checked out. This individual sinking to the floor beside him looked like McKay, but certainly wasn't acting like him.

SG: A

Sheppard pulled an emergency blanket from his pack and unfolded it before wrapping it around the scientist's shivering shoulders. He tucked the corners underneath McKay's legs, effectively pinning any body heat beneath the fabric. "When did you eat last?" he asked tearing the wrapper off a powerbar and sticking it in his friend's hand.

Rodney stared at the food like it was a two headed alien before forcing himself to take a bite. Chewing slowly, he swallowed the flavorless texture. "I had an MRE earlier."

Waving a radio in the air, the major scowled. "Wrong answer. Beckett wants to know exactly when. Last night? This morning?"

"I don't know," McKay snapped with a touch of his absent crankiness. "I've had a lot on my mind."

The first real smile crossed Sheppard's face, "Did you hear that, Doc?"

The Scottish physician's concerned voice echoed in the empty hallway, "Aye, lad. Can you give Rodney the radio, Major?"

Sheppard swapped the scientist the radio for the half eaten powerbar. "You're in trouble now," he crowed like an eight year old.

Another hint of the old McKay spark quirked back to life. "Shut up," he snapped, thumbing the call button.

"I beg your pardon."

"Not you, Carson," Rodney huffed. "I was talking to the child standing in front of me."

"I hope so." There was a brief pause when someone on the other end interrupted the doctor. "Rodney, I want you to come see me before you go back to your quarters."

"I figured as much. You don't need to worry, Mother, I've been eating regularly and taking my vitamins."

Beckett's dry retort filtered back over the radio, "Humor me, then. Dr. Weir and I both agree that, before the ambassador and his party arrive, that you.."" His comment clipped when Rodney turned off the radio and handed back to Sheppard.

"Uh, McKay, I don't think he was done yet."

The cold blue eyes of earlier looked back up at the bewildered major. The traces of old McKay had disappeared once more. Rodney stood up slowly, still holding the blanket tightly around his shoulders and refusing the remainder of the powerbar. "Let's get this over with," he said under his breath, listing sideways while heading down the corridor.

"Hey," the major grunted, grabbing the remaining gear off the floor before catching up. "You keep acting this way and Heightmeyer's going to have a field day with you. Talk to me, McKay. What the hell is going on? You can't ask me about killing someone and then walk away."

When Rodney remained silent, continuing to stumble down the dim corridor, Sheppard snagged the emergency blanket and tugged McKay to stop. The crinkly fabric slipped off, cascading to the floor, leaving one wet, unhappy scientist to glare back at him.

"Nothing happened."

"I don't believe that. And until you tell me what's going on, I'm going to hound your every step, all the way back."

"Let me repeat myself, Major, nothing happened to me."

"McKay…"

"Leave me alone."

"No. Damnit, I can't do that. You see, you're part of my team, my responsibility. And if a part of that team is off, the whole team is off. We are effectively shut down until you get fixed."

"Oh, what, am I a broken toy of yours now?"

"No, McKay. You're my friend and I want to help."

"Maybe I don't want your help. Did that thought even enter your brain? If I wanted your help, I would've come to you."

"Isn't that what you did? Run off and hide like some little kid in trouble, just waiting to be found? You're a smart man. You knew I'd come looking for you."

Something unrecognizable flashed in McKay's eyes as he sucked in his breath, taking a step back and colliding with the wall.

Sheppard's internal warning bell was ringing with intensity. Taking a step closer to the bedraggled figure, he pierced him with a hard glare, momentarily surprised to see the other shirk away. He had two choices now; push or ease up. Going easy hadn't gotten him anywhere, so he decided to use plan B.

Grabbing McKay's wet shoulders, he effectively pinned him to the wall, feeling tremors race through the scientist. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED, MCKAY?" The scientist's reaction caused him to let go immediately.

Rodney scrunched his eyes tightly shut, turning his face away the major. His ragged breaths burned throughout his chest as he gasped, struggling to pull air into his uncooperative lungs. He fought to get control back. Fighting down the intense waves of nausea, he knew it was a matter of moments before the half eaten powerbar made a return. The panic attack blossomed, enveloping him in its waves and he dropped to his knees, finally succumbing to his heaving stomach.

Lost once more in the frightening world he thought he'd conquered years ago, he didn't recognize the hands that held him secure or the voice talking from someplace nearby.

TBC