Chapter 3
"Oh, shit!" Sheppard followed McKay down to the floor, once again grasping his friend by the shoulders, only this time to stop him from falling face first into the mess. This wasn't the first time the major had ever seen a panic attack, so instead of paging Beckett, he just held on and waited, talking Rodney down from wherever he might be.
"Come on, McKay, you need to breathe. That's it, nice and slow," he encouraged over and over. When the gasps eventually quieted and the scientist's demeanor became calmer, Sheppard carefully pushed his friend to a sitting position along the wall and waited.
Rodney's chin rested against his chest, his eyes still closed from exhaustion. When his chest rose and fell with smooth deep breaths, Sheppard finally released his own breath he'd been holding and sat down, his shoulder barely touching the Canadian's.
"Hey," he stated quietly.
Rodney's head tipped back against the wall, his eyes now open as he stared at the opposite direction. "Hydrogen, Lithium, Sodium, Potassium, Rubidium, Cesium, Francium," he muttered to himself.
"Uh, Rodney, the Periodic Table?"
The scientist held up a hand to silence the major before he continued, "Beryllium, Magnesium, Calcium, Strontium, Barium, Radium."
"You're starting to scare me, McKay. If you don't knock it off I'm calling Beckett."
The pale blue eyes finally came to rest on the major. "A little trick I discovered when I was a kid."
"What, boring people to death while rambling off the elements?" Sheppard caught the glimmer of an irritated spark in the other man's eyes and he allowed himself to smile.
"No. When I was younger and felt an attack coming on, I'd mentally review the Groups to get my mind off the attack."
Resting his arms on his knees, Sheppard swirled his canteen before handing it over. "Let me get this straight, you repeated the Periodic Elements to ease your mind?"
Rodney allowed the tepid liquid to fill his mouth before he looked around for someplace to spit. Not spying any, he shrugged and spat on the floor. "Are you going to repeat everything I'm going to say?"
Hazel eyes rolled to the ceiling in disgust. "Oh, that's nice McKay. Who do you think is gonna come down here and clean all that up?" Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out a cotton handkerchief and handed it to the scientist, still refusing to look in case he might see the mess. When he felt it removed from his hand, he rummaged through another pocket and came up with a plastic bag. "Here, put it in this."
"You can look now," Rodney huffed after a minute or two.
Sheppard glanced back over to his friend and found the other man staring right back at him. "I'm not going to pry, Rodney, but I have to tell you this is serious. If something happened on the planet that got you this upset, we shouldn't allow the ambassador and his team access to Atlantis. Are they going to be a danger to us? I still have time to notify Weir and call this whole thing off."
McKay's mouth opened and closed several times as he tried to find the right words. "Nothing happened."
"You've said that already, but I don't believe you."
Gnawing his bottom lip, McKay looked as if he was about to make one of the hardest decisions in his life. His eyes glanced away and he sighed heavily. "I saw something."
"Okay, now we're getting somewhere." Sheppard turned sideways to watch his friend. "What did you see?"
Getting decidedly uncomfortable, McKay squirmed under the major's questioning gaze. He really didn't want to get into this, it was too private and he'd successfully kept it put away for decades. No one knew about his past and that was just the way he wanted to keep it. But pulling himself up to his feet, he found Sheppard was right by his side with a hand under his arm to give support, waiting patiently for an answer to his question. It was now or never.
"I saw the ambassador strike a child."
The major didn't move at his comment, the only perceivable difference in his stance was a tightening of his facial muscles. "Did it look like abuse or discipline?"
Was there a difference? Rodney swallowed as a long forgotten memory resurfaced.
'You're nothing! You got that, boy? I brought you into this world, and I sure as hell can take you out'.
'Daddy, I'm sorry. I'll be quiet, I promise.'
SMACK!
Sheppard's watchful gaze witnessed the turmoil on McKay's face. And when the scientist lifted a shaking hand to touch the side of his own head, the major knew he'd discovered another hidden piece to the puzzle. Unfortunately, now was not the time or place to delve into such secrets. Shifting on his feet, careful not to touch the scientist, he cleared his throat bringing Rodney out of his thoughts.
"I…I'm not sure. My judgment might have been off."
"Yeah." A deep sigh filled the silence before Sheppard realized it had come from him. "Think you can make it back?"
Rodney sniffed. "How long until the others get here?"
"You mean the ambassador and his team? About four hours. Just enough time for us to make it back and get cleaned up."
"What about my trip to see Beckett?"
John shrugged, "I won't tell if you don't. He'll be at the banquet, so why don't we figure it out then?"
A hint of a smile crossed Rodney's face as he took up his position beside Sheppard. "He's not going to be happy."
"Hell, McKay, when is that man ever happy? He gets his jollies out of sticking needles in people. Think about it, did you or I ever want to be a physician? Hell, no! Only sick SOB's who like to mess with germs and gross bodily stuff do that kind of crap. Gads!" the major shuddered.
Rodney pondered the comments. "You're right."
"I know I am." Sheppard's grin grew wider and he dropped an arm over McKay's shoulders. "We're equipment action kind of people. I've got weapons and tactics; you've got computers and gizmos."
They continued on in silence, disappearing around a corner before the major's voice echoed down the hallway, "You aren't going to tell him I said that, right?"
A brief burst of laughter faded into the darkness.
SG: A
Rodney was dead tired by the time he made it back to his quarters. Flopping bonelessly across his bed, he draped an arm over his eyes to block out the overhead light. Before Sheppard had left, he told him that he'd be back in thirty minutes and warned the scientist not to fall asleep. Right. Thirty minutes. That meant fifteen to nap and fifteen to get dressed. Allowing weary eyes to remain closed, he easily drifted off to sleep.
Dreams assaulted him instantly with memories of frightening words, and even harsher punishments. Raising his hands to defend himself from the stream of blows falling against his face, he cried out when his arms were grabbed, pinning them back to the bed. "Let go of me," he demanded, struggling to break free from the grip.
"McKay, wake up!" Sheppard's voice ordered through the struggle. Narrowly dodging a tight left hook, he shook the scientist firmly. "Wake up! It's a dream, Rodney. No one here's going to hurt you."
Sitting straight up, the scientist cradled his right tightly against his chest, his hand carefully holding the spot where Koyla's henchman had dug the knife painfully into his arm. His eyes briefly met the major's, he looked away in embarrassment.
"You back with me now?" Sheppard asked, pulling his friend off the bed and pushing him towards the bathroom. Not giving Rodney time to reply, he reached around him and turned on the shower, adjusting the spray and then standing back. "I told you not to sleep," he admonished.
"It was only for a minute," Rodney argued tiredly.
"Try thirty, and we're late." Gesturing to the running water, he grinned, trying to lighten the mood and erase whatever remnants of the nightmare might be dogging his friend, "I like you, and all, but there's no way I'm hopping in there to give you a hand. You gonna be okay?"
A heavy sigh and eye roll was his only answer. When the scientist physically shoved him out of the small room, he grinned. "I'll see if I can find you anything presentable to wear," he called over his shoulder after he heard the sound of the running water change.
"Stay out of my clothes," Rodney shouted back, his eyes closed as he savored the pounding water on his weary flesh. The invigorating shower revived him and he could have stood there all day if it hadn't been for the splash of ice water cascading over him from above the top of the shower doors.
"Move it, soldier!" Sheppard ordered. When the water shut off, a towel appeared next over the door.
A fast shave and a comb through his hair, McKay stopped to stare at the face in the mirror. Even in his own eyes he looked ten years older. Adjusting his dress uniform jacket, he stepped out of his bathroom and found the major sitting on the edge of his bed waiting for him.
"Ready to go?" Sheppard asked casually.
"What do you say we grab a jumper and disappear for the night instead?"
The major grinned and stood up, "Seems to me, the last time we went on a little journey without Weir's okay, we ended up in the doghouse for a couple of weeks with the threat of Kavanagh becoming chief scientist. Do you really want to tempt fate?"
Rodney shrugged as he headed out the door, his confidence slowly rebuilding. "She loves us."
"Yeah, but I think she loves to threaten us more. Quit stalling, McKay, let's get this over with so we can watch my game and drink this." Sheppard held up the flask Radek had given him earlier.
"Where'd you get that? Isn't that Dr. Zelenka's personal flask?"
Sheppard grinned, never about to tell him the truth. "I have my ways."
TBC