Please review! I know reading all these post twilights fics can be depressing, but the end will be better, I promise.
I'd do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself
Now I don't know what to do
She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
The song that no one sings
The unattainable
She's a myth I have to believe in
All I need to make it real
Is one more reason
I don't know what to do
He stood staring after Gibbs, who was pointing a gun and shouting something. He couldn't hear. He couldn't hear anything. Not even his heart beat.
He slowly, as if in slow motion, turned back to Kate. Someone was screaming. It wasn't a normal scream. It was a scream that only came from the soul, full of pain and torment and anguish. It was a scream that said someone had just lost something or someone they loved. Tony was at first annoyed and hoped the person would stop screaming. Then he felt sorry for the screamer. Because he felt the pain of the screamer.
It wasn't until Gibbs placed a hand on his shoulder that he realized the screaming was coming from him. He was on his knees with no recollection of falling on them. And he was clutching Kate's head, his hands a bloody mess, begging her eyes to open. This was a joke. He knew it was a joke. It was a joke. A joke. A joke. The mantra repeated through his head and took over for the screaming. His throat was hoarse and dry.
"Tony–" Gibbs spoke.
Tony didn't hear him. He placed his bloody hands on either side of her face. "Kate. Come on. Wake up. Kate. Come on. Please." Her dead lifeless eyes stared up at him and the glaring hole in the middle of her forehead told him she wasn't coming back. "Oh God….no…." his tortured voice spilled out. He wrapped his arms around Kate's still body and pulled her to his chest, rocking back and forth as the sobs came forth.
McGee rushed into the scene to find Tony in the same position, with Kate in his arms, and Gibbs watching over them, looking lost.
He sat in his apartment. All the lights were off.
"I can't make it without you, Kate. I can't. Please come back to me." He knew uttering the words would do nothing but make him feel more like a fool. And yet he said them. Before he went to bed, when he woke up in the morning, in the shower, while he was making coffee. Every thought was on bringing her back. Because for the first time in his life, Anthony Dinozzo was truly scared. Sure, he had been scared before… but not like this. A numbing sensation had invaded his body and voided all thought except thoughts of Kate. He was afraid of losing grip. Her death had affected him like nothing else had. But then, he realized, you always are more affected when someone you love dies. And yes, he had loved Kate. If he thought about it, the first time he knew was when he looked over in isolation and saw her in the bed next to him. She wasn't leaving him. Because she loved him too.
Tony wanted to scream like he had the moment after Kate had been shot. He wanted to scream at the man who had murdered her, at God for letting this happen, at himself for not somehow protecting her. He wanted to scream for the piece of his soul that had died with Kate.
Be strong for me.
He knew it's what Kate would have said.
But Tony Dinozzo would never be the same again. He knew it with some instinctive part of his being. She had took the part of his soul that had given him happiness. But he would try to be strong….for her.
"Goodbye, Kate. I love you," he whispered into the empty apartment, the only sound the gentle rain tapping on his window.