The angels cry tonight
As the rain washed that lonely place from their eyes
Softly as she said, our hearts will never get out alive
She made no sound
Then goodbye
She said love don't call on me again
I never wanna cry like this
Die like this
No more favors my old friend
I never wanna cry like this
Die like this
It was overcast and raining. She knew Tony would be glad for it. It would disguise his tears. She knew Gibbs wouldn't cry. Not in front of the team and everyone else.
None of team members were using umbrellas. Ducky held one up but no one sought refuge under it. It was leaning back, only partially shielding the old doctor from the rain. None of them cared. They let the rain fall down on them freely.
Her family was there, black umbrellas firmly set in a canopy of defense.
The minister sang Amazing Grace in a rich, powerful voice that made even Gibbs shudder.
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see
The sheer emotion radiating from these people made the minister's voice shake. He could sense the sadness in these people. But his job wasn't the dwell on the pain, the sadness, the never-ending turmoil of life. Because there was enough of that to dwell on. His job was to instead to allow yourself to feel the pain, experience the thoughts that this will never end, think that sometimes even death is too far off. You allow yourself to feel and think these things. And you would cry. And you would bleed. And your soul would choke and nearly drown in the sea of sorrow. But the sun would melt away the night with its fiery fingertips. It would dispel its inky arms of shadows with soft golden rays of peace. And the morning would rise, more glorious than any morning. For after a night of death, the morning of life is so much sweeter. It would be hushed. Quiet. Only the birds could be heard speaking of faith. And this was his job. To tell this story.
Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.
The rain was still falling at a steady rhythm, tapping off the gravestones and grass blades with a soft tink tink. But the sun was shining forth. Not blazing and dazzling all eyes, it was hardly perceptible at first. But it was there.
Kate felt pain that she had never felt before when she saw Gibbs. He was crying. She had come to terms with death. Long before she ever even became a federal agent, she had come to terms with it. But suddenly now, when it was too late, she was unable to deal with death. It was ironic. Abby would laugh with her if it was under different circumstances. She looked at Abby. And the empty, cold eyes. There were tears that had been shed, Kate knew, but Abby face was dry now. Kate could only pray for Abby. She knew their friendship had shared things Abby had never shared with anyone else. And without Kate it would once again become a dark secret to lock away for years. Oh Abby, Kate thought. You will learn to trust someone else with your secret. You will not be alone. You will not feel like this forever. I promise.
Gibbs took a deep breath through a throat tight from trying not to and looked up at the sky. He thought it was a refraction of light from his tears. But it was a slant of light. Not a stark yellow like a children's painting. It was the kind of yellow you find in mist. Barely there, but detectible if one looks hard enough.
He leaned his head forward and sobbed before lifting it to the sky again. Oh Katie, he thought. You have no idea how I am going to miss you. How I am never going to forget you. How I am going to wake up every morning wanting to see your face. How I am going to fear going to sleep in case I see you on the concrete again, a bullet through your head and blood as your pillow.
It will be ok.
He didn't know where the words came from, but he knew they came from Kate. It was what she would have said.
Kate smiled softly before walking away. Yes, they would all go on.
And Tony. She knew now he loved her as she loved him. She didn't know why she had never seen it glittering in his eyes before like unshed tears. And she didn't know why she had never told him how much he meant to her.
He would move on, too.
Kate watched them walk off. It will be ok, she asserted. Pain can last for a very long time. But eventually, in the midst of the darkness, spreads of a beam of daylight.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me...
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.