Bound in Matrimony

By: Jasmine

Chapter 3

"Homophones"

"For the thousandth time, Potter, no!" Lily shrieked, her fiery head ablaze as well as her emerald eyes. Alana snickered quietly, shut up by a look from Lily. James hadn't left Lily alone for even a second that night. He'd followed her everywhere she went and nearly walked straight into the women's lavatory before being shooed off by girls throwing shoes, books, quills, and anything else they could lay hand upon. He was determined to go to Hogsmeade that weekend with Lily at his side, no matter if it be by will or force.

"You know you want to, Eva—Pot—er—Lily. So, don't fight the urge." James covered up smoothly for his temporary mistake. He was losing his marbles on the inside, though. Now he couldn't call her by her last name. That was a definite minus, considering he'd now have to learn to call her by 'Lily', and he wasn't very good at learning new things, unless it had to do with Transfiguration.

"I know if you don't leave me alone," Lily spat irritably, her grip on the piece of parchment she was writing so hard that she tore a hole through it. "I'll rip off your manhood." Many nearby and anyone who was eavesdropping, or watching because they were loud enough, burst into loud fits of laughter, tears strolling down the cheeks of numerous. One even fell off his chair, hitting his head hard on the corner of a desk and not even noticing.

James looked nervous for a second before wiping the expression from his face, replacing it with his previous smug one. "Look, Lily, I know you love me, but please. If you want me that bad, just go out with me." He smirked as the audiences' hysterics grew thunderous. Lily was now shaking with rage, her quill suspended in mid-air, a drop of ink growing larger and larger just under it.

The next thing that came surprised all. Lily spun around in her chair, looking up at James lovingly. Her emerald eyes were glowing with a mysterious luminosity as she stood to her full height, which barely came to James's shoulder. She stared him in the eye, her nose barely inches away from James's. James determinedly gazed on, a sweat bead rolling down the side of his face. He wiped it away quickly with the back of his hand. Lily smiled, or rather smirked, and raised her quill, scratching something rapidly against James's forehead.

James yelped in pain, the palm of his hand coming into contact with his skin. He looked down at it to see black ink smeared across it so he couldn't tell what was written. The Common Room, however, roared with mirth, Alana laughing loudly as well. "What?" James asked anxiously. No one answered, though. Lily had gone back to her homework, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. "What is it?"

Sirius strode over to James, his eyes shining with amusement. "Take a look, mate." he chortled, conjuring a round mirror out of thin air and holding it ahead of James's face. The Common Room became silent as they watched James's face became pink then red then crimson then maroon then purple then tinged blue. He reached a shaky hand toward the mirror, taking hold of it and staring wildly at his reflection. "Well...?" Sirius asked as if wanting an opinion on a recipe he'd just cooked.

James ignored his comment, staring horror-struck at the mirror. "Does this come off?" James questioned, turning his gaze to Lily at long last. She looked up at him, staring at the word printed across his forehead before shaking her head. James yelped in frustration, feverishly rubbing the palm of his hand against his brow but only managing to smear the ink across it.

"Why do you hate that word, Potter? Never heard of what a homophone is?" Lily sneered, standing at last. She had her hands on her hips and was amusedly watching James fiddle. "Or maybe you've just never learned what one is."

"Yeah right, Lily!" James snapped, glaring at her. Sirius came to the rescue, wisely using a cleansing spell on James's face, adding a bit emphasis so James's glasses fogged up. "Argh. Sirius!" Sirius shrugged, sitting back down amid laughter, high and shrieking from his female fans. James let out a slow, steady breath before turning on Lily again. "Fine. You watch now. You'll hear so many homophones from me, you'll be amazed." The audience was now laughing at James's stupidity.

Lily stared, her eyes narrowed. "What?"

James smirked, putting his fists in his pockets. "Sea, see." He recited in a sing-song tone. Lily's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something in return, but James cut her off. "Be, bee... Pair, pear... Not, knot... Accept, except... Male, mail... Wail, wale, whale... What, watt... Halve, half..." And so on he went, following Lily around and torturing the living daylights out of her. She was ready to rip her fiery hair out of her head when James suggested, finally not speaking in homophone-language, "Go to Hogsmeade with me, Lily, or I'll never stop."

Spinning around like lightning, Lily glowered at the boy reflected in her eyes, shaking with rage and aggravation. "You know what, Potter?" Lily spat scathingly, her eyes narrow as slits. James stared, his mouth forming a very smug and out-of-place grin. "Fine."

"What?" James gazed on, his mouth losing its smirk, his eyes losing their luster. He just stared. Flabbergasted. He opened his mouth, an odd sort of sound emitting from within, a sound very unlike his own.

"Yep. You heard me." Lily continued, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I'll go, but only if you aren't as annoying as you were for the last hour. Because if you are, I swear, Potter, my previous offer of shredding your body up to such small bits that when I scatter you about the Hogwarts grounds, no one will even be able to tell they were ever once a boy still stands."

"Okay..." James's eyes were now wide and he backed away unconsciously. He looked around, breaking his gaze from Lily's brilliant emeralds. He was going to Hogsmeade with Lily. He felt as if his one and only true dream had come true. The only fault was that he'd never imagined he'd have to marry her to force himself to ask her out. That was something you'd tell your children one day, that it's not that odd when your parents tell you you're never to go on a date again until you're married, not that he'd advise it to anyone else.

"So?" Sirius questioned in mock-anticipation, his face home to a knowing smile. James nodded slowly, his expression blank. Sirius patted James on the back quite hard, making James jump in frustration, rubbing his shoulder. "Finally got the nerve to open your mouth and hear something other than an insult, eh, mate?" He joked, now acting out an extremely over-exaggerated version of James's arrogance. Remus stared in disgust over the top of his book.

"Thanks for the encouragement, Padfoot." James muttered irritably, his brow furrowed. His eyes followed Sirius's outrageous movements for a moment longer before he voiced his, and everyone else's, thoughts. "Oi! You on the mickey or something, mate?" He spat, trying his hardest to hide his amusement, for Sirius was making fun of him after all, as he tugged at his sleeve.

"You should talk, Mr. I'm-a-married-man-and-under-age. You're lovin' it, too, aren't you?" He teased, playfully punching James across the same shoulder he'd just bruised previously, causing James to stand up in pain, glaring daggers at him. "Woops. Sorry 'bout that. Next time I'll try to control my explicable strength." He stood and began flexing his muscles, all built up from tedious hours of workout.

A girl to his side gasped loudly and fell off her chair, her ink bottle splattering all over her face. "Might want to get that cleaned up." Sirius said, scrunching his nose at her. James and Remus rolled their eyes at each other. Sirius spun back around stupidly, saying, "Where's Pete? Haven't seen him for a while."

"If you'd been listening instead of mocking my very being," James fumed without looking up at him, his quill scratching across a piece of parchment he'd just taken out of his backpack. "Then you would've heard him say that he's gone out for a tutoring session with McGonagall because he's not doing all too well in Transfigurations. Don't see why he didn't just come to me, though. I would've helped him in a heartbeat, considering that's how long it takes me to learn something new in Transfigurations." James said the last big to himself crossly.

"Er... James?" Remus muttered, glancing up from his book again. James looked up, making Sirius frown and ask why he'd given Remus the courtesy of being looked at but not him. Remus and James waved him off. "Peter never said anything about that..."

"Oh..." James mumbled, slightly shocked and wondering where such a memory had come from.

"Dreamt it up, eh, Prongs? Just like getting Lily to willingly come with you to Hogsmeade?" Sirius sneered humorously, cracking up at his own joke. He'd completely missed James mutter, "Barking mad." for he'd fallen off his chair once again, his azure eyes glowing with mirth. The rest of the night was spent with James finishing his homework and running off to detention, finally agreeing to Sirius's incessant pleas at copying his homework because he'd been "too thick to do it himself", as Remus had described it.

A thousand apologies for the long wait, you guys! I haven't had time to write and I've actually been forcing myself to write, and when I do that, it doesn't really come out very well. Hope this was a good chapter, though... I decided to end it because I was just dragging it along toward the end... I'll try to make the next chapter funnier!

Thank you all my reviewers: Ihateharryandhermioneshippers, iris, Stuck in Wonderland, and Aevum.

To answer some of you reviewers...

iris: i luv your story.it sort of reminds me of Friends when ross and rachel get drunk and get married.do u watch it?anyways, keep on writing.cant wait to see how james tries to annoy lily.Update!

Nope I really don't watch Friends... I've watched a few episodes once in a while, but I've never watched it two nights in a row. It's kind of funny that it turned out that way...

Ihateharryandhermioneshippers: i really like it plz update your dear reveiwer

Ihateharryandhermioneshippers

Aw! Thanks! Here's an update for you, dear reviewer! lol.

That's about it for now. I'll try to put up Chapter 4, soon! And I'll try to make it funnier! Until then...

Please Review!