Chapter 10: Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the
mind.
InuYasha: Damn woman! Took you blasted long enough to get on with the story! What in the hell do you think you're doing lazing off and drawing? Write! Write! Write!
Danie: *throws hands in air* what do you think I'm doing baka? Geez... and besides I was doing it as a favor for a friend-
InuYasha: Friend? What is this 'friend'? Me! I am the Friend! No one else therefore you write about ME!!
Kagome: Osuwari!
InuYasha: *thumps in the ground*
Danie: Hey Miroku? Sango?
Sango: Houshi-sama took off a while ago. Maybe you should see to him?
Danie: Sure thing... OH Disclaimer!! I do not own anyone, save Kaori and Akiko... and Tanrakuteki but he's dead now so what does it matter? ^.^;;
Naraku's castle stood on a high hilltop. Kikyou had been standing outside the building's guard so as to not be detected but she knew that Naraku could feel her presence. It mattered not to her if InuYasha failed or if he succeeded, so long as he died. Naraku would go down with him, she knew that much but didn't want to know beyond that. He would come to her himself she was sure of that and just awaited him to see the fit time to emerge from his dank, dark home. It would be satisfying to see his reaction and his retaliation at hearing the news of Kagome's downfall. Now that she was a demon it would most likely throw a kink in his well-laid plans he had been formulating for months on end.
Getting the living wench out of the way would help her along in talking InuYasha into the grave with her. The idea that maybe he loved her, and wanted to keep her, never crossed her mind, nor would it ever.
The feeling that something malevolent was watching her from behind alerted her to the presence of Naraku. Turning to see the familiar baboon- cloaked demon, "Hello, Onigumo." She said pleasantly enough, with a smirk of triumph on her face.
(
InuYasha watched as Kagome cried in Kaori's chest about how sorry she was that she had failed. Akiko and Kaori exchanged looks of sympathy, tipping him off that they had known she would fail before they had even set her off on the mission. And there she was just crying her little heart out over it, oblivious to the real purpose that she had been used for. That he had been used for, for that matter. His temper boiled at the idea of him being a convenient side benefit to Kaori and Akiko's own purposes and he wanted to hit something, namely them.
Kagome hadn't figured out these facts yet and he didn't feel like informing her. His feelings were in a mess ever since he had met Kaori and Akiko. They messed with his head and refused to leave him alone. Now that Kagome's little escapade for them was over he was going to fix this to where they would never come back again as they had no right to be with his group.
It was being almost forced to look at her, while she hiccupped, that made his temper boil over the way it did. His feet were deceptively quiet on the bed of leaves as he stood before the little sob group. He let loose a snarl fit to scare a battle worn demon. Kagome jumped but Akiko and Kaori sat there looking at him coolly.
"Why don't you guys just cut the shit and tell her that this was all set up the entire time? That she did all she was expected to and more, that way she can stop her sniveling and we can get back to important things." His voice was harsh and he felt that if he had been on the receiving end he would've winced to hear it but he wasn't and therefore he did not regret what he said.
Kagome's eyes hardened but the tears didn't stop on their way down her face. "What do you mean I did all that I was intended to do?"
Kaori waited for Kagome to face her with the question instead of posing it toward the hanyou but InuYasha answered for her in any case. "They had intended you to go to the past to save their lives only. They fed you that bull shit about them wanting you to save them from being cursed, because they knew that was the story you had been told. If you hadn't told them in the past what story it was you were being fed yourself here in what I term the 'present' they wouldn't have fed it to you like that at all." He took in a great breath before he carried on with his rant. "And it caused them to mess in my life as well as yours and I realize that part of it is your fault but I put the majority of it at their feet. But I condemn all equally." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down his nose at them as he spoke. "During that entire time all they could do was fiddle in Miroku and Sango's life and scare the daylights out of everyone with that bull that Akiko pulled on showing Sango what had happened."
Kaori pushed Kagome off her lap gently but firmly. "Well InuYasha if that is all you have to reveal and we have no further use here..." She trailed off and gave her hand to Akiko to help him to his feet. "Kagome... if I could have a word?" Akiko asked gently as he got up.
Kagome, ragged by all the news she had to take in and the emotional stress she had been under since figuring that she had lost the battle she was supposed to have won, nodded soundlessly and followed him. InuYasha watched with his rage threatening to burst from his chest at any second and blow him to pieces along with every other moron in the vicinity.
(
InuYasha stood above her looking down. Her hair had not gone back to any semblance of her human coloring ever since she had gotten back. He remembered everything that she had done to him and he resented her. He knew she had to leave him but to tamper with his memories like that? The fact that she had let that woman tamper with them so he would 'fall in love' with Kikyou. It was too much to handle.
He could feel that Miroku and Sango were finally coming back from their little escapade into the woods. He figured they had been making up as their scent was all over each other. He figured it was a blessing he couldn't smell their arousal all over each other as well.
Bending over, he picked Kagome up only to have her eyes burst apart and stare at him with all the feelings that were raging in his chest. Fury being the boldest one in raising it's ugly head. He dropped her like a hot potato, as he felt his emotions drain out of him and leave him tired and calm.
InuYasha sank to his knees before her while she panted and lay on the ground. Emotions chased themselves across her features: anger, fear, rage, despair, and a dying love. Dying.
Miroku heard Inu Yasha's cry of anguish. He looked toward Sango to see if he had imagined it but her face was just as worried as he felt. They took off like a bullet through the rest of the woods until they saw Kagome lying on her back stock still and pale seemingly not breathing and feared the worst. "Kagome??" Sango fairly shrieked.
Pale and foggy brained Kagome sat upright and started laughing. Tears coursed their way down her cheeks as she shook with the force of the gales of her laughter. InuYasha just stared at her like she was inhabited with some demon or had grown another head. Miroku watched him glance from him to Sango as if he expected them to see the same thing he was. "Kagome-sama?" Miroku hesitated beside her, and then put his hand on her shoulder.
She wanted to tell them to stop touching her. Every time one of them touched her she could feel the emotions raging inside them. She would never have accounted so much RAGE being inside InuYasha and whom it was directed at. He hated it that she had cried and cried. So when she sat up and faced him, laughter bubbled out of her throat instead. Miroku was filled with nothing more than worry for her and love for Sango, much easier than she would've ever predicted from Miroku. Sango however didn't touch her and she liked that.
As soon as everyone's hands were off of her she crawled away from them as fast as her arms and legs could manage. Her chest heaved with the effort it took to clear out her body of everyone else's feelings and find her own. "Where did Akiko go?" She asked hoarsely. InuYasha looked up and some emotion kindled in his eyes before guttering out and dying. His hand rose and he pointed towards the trees behind her. Standing up, he brushed off his pants and left.
He felt empty. His heart had no emotions. His body felt like a husk of his former self. Now that none of his emotions were in his way he remembered his purpose for being out here in the first place, before Akiko and Kaori had stopped him from his mission. He was out here to help Kagome become human again.
Letting the air out of his lungs, he turned only to see that Miroku was following him with a dazed kind of dream-walker look to him. "InuYasha?" He asked, his voice sounding as if it came from a million miles away. And maybe it did, his mind looked like it had vacated his skull for the time being.
Sango hadn't touched Kagome and therefore retained her feelings. "Kagome... what is it you've done to them?"
Kagome sighed as she lay on her side. Her breathing regulated and she eyed Sango. "Don't touch me... I think I finally figured out what I can do. And I don't necessarily like it." Rolling onto her stomach, she shoved up with her hands and got to her feet.
Sango frowned at her. "Kagome what could you mean?"
"I mean... I dunno, but I think you don't want to know." Kagome closed her eyes when she heard some harsh sound hit her ears. Her body shook in time with the sounds confusing her until she realized she was laughing hoarsely.
"Kagome... from what I've seen of what you do... or rather heard of what you have done, why this too? Why do you have this put on you too? Kagome..." Sango cut off when Kagome turned, a harsh look in her eyes.
"I don't know, Sango. Tell me, why do I get singled out for this stuff? Why does it happen to me? I don't know, all right? If I knew wouldn't I be doing something to prevent it? I didn't want to know InuYasha resents me? I didn't want to know how much Miroku cares for you nor what you were doing back there in the woods! I didn't, all right? No matter if you believe me or not I just don't give a bloody damn I've been through too much to give a shit about what's changing now." Clutching her sides again she burst out in spasms of laughter.
"InuYasha used to love me! When he thought I was Kikyou! Now he doesn't and he was infatuated with me lately! Get that one?" She fell over, tears streaming down her face as she laughed on and on. "Miroku loves you but he sets the need of having spawn higher than your love, hence why your relationship hasn't progressed till now. He thinks he's going to get some out of you! And on top of that-" She cut off suddenly assaulted by a coughing fit. Her face paled with ever cough. Sango looked at her friend and bent to touch her before she remembered her words. "S-sango?" Kagome's voice came out small and frail. "Sango... what is going on?"
Sango felt her chest contract in pain for her friend. "Kagome... I think that we need to get you fixed and fast... I don't think you can last much longer with this curse." She had never felt the need to cry over anyone or anything ever since she had lost her brother to Naraku... Miroku had promised to help her retrieve him. But her hopes had been dashed too many times for her feelings on the subject to be any more than words. Although, for some reason, just watching Kagome struggle to keep her composure with what had just been revealed in her made her want to weep for her friend. "Kagome can you stand?"
"Yes I think I can Sango, thank you." Kagome replied. "Have InuYasha and Miroku already gotten farther ahead?" Her face was flushed red as she remembered the flow of words that had left her lips before she could alter their flow.
"Yes, they went on a ways. But if we go now we can catch up to them in a few minutes." Sango said soothingly.
Kagome nodded and rose to her feet, swaying slightly. "Let's go then." She smiled faintly to trail InuYasha and Miroku. Their footsteps got sturdier as their feelings came back to them.
Sango watched her friend's face light up as she trailed the men in front of her. "Kagome... Listen, if its any consolation whatsoever I'm really sorry about all of this. If I would've kept watch better..."
"You couldn't have." Kagome said looking her in the eye. "You were both worn out with worry and would've fallen asleep at the same time if not that night then another night. I was determined to go and show that I was not some child to be taken care of. I had no intention of letting you guys do as you pleased with me just because it suited your purposes. Looking back on it now, it seems so far away and childish... you think?"
Sango thought about it and agreed. It really did seem like such a long long time since the events that altered and almost literally flipped Kagome's life upside down. Looking at Kagome, she smiled and noticed Kagome's fangs when she grinned back. Things really had changed and yet they had not. Sango still felt a strong bond with Kagome coming from out of all the battles they had faced head on together, if not all the time then most of it. Added to the battles, was the emotional support Kagome offered every time she needed it. It almost sickened her to think of how little she had been there for Kagome when she needed it. She could count on her fingers how many times she had actually helped Kagome and figured it would take a lifetime to show her all the gratitude she felt to Kagome for all the things she had done for her.
Kagome wanted so much not to have ran away, to have listened to InuYasha when he told her not to go, listened to Miroku or Sango when they asked her to talk. But pride is a force to be reckoned with and she obviously didn't have the steel to tell it no and do what she needed to, not what she wanted to. She figured her monthly was around the corner with her being so emotional of late, then was struck with the thought of 'Do demons have monthlies?'
"Sango, you're a demon hunter... that means you know a goodly amount about the demons you slay correct?"
Sango nodded wondering where she was going with this.
"Do demons have monthlies?"
"Monthlies?" Sango asked puzzled.
"Uhm... rag time?" Sango shook her head in confusion. "Hmm. Ah, the time of the month when girls regularly bleed on themselves?"
Sango's face burned a brilliant shade of crimson as she tried not to choke while she coughed in shock. "Ah, Kagome I don't rightly know."
"Oh, well then I suppose if it comes then I'm screwed for the time being then huh?" Kagome smiled brilliantly at her.
The boys were before them. InuYasha standing with his arms crossed over his chest in whine position #2 translating: I am waiting on you even though you're slowing me down and I would like you to feel guilty for it. Miroku on the other hand was swatting down apples out of a tree with his staff. Three of them were on the ground at his feet, discarded because of their obvious bad shape. Shippo sat on the ground munching on the apples that weren't nasty or gross. His eyes darted back and forth from Kagome to the food in his hand. He hadn't touched Kagome since InuYasha had threatened his life if he even thought about bothering her while she sobbed all over Kaori. He was close to saying that she hadn't even taken notice of him as he followed InuYasha after he touched Kagome and went a bit dazed away from her. He hadn't touched her after InuYasha told him no and he kept from touching her because now the honest truth was: She scared him to death.
He stifled the urge to flinch when her eyes lit on him. "Shippo!" She smiled and moved toward him. Looking at her he couldn't see how InuYasha had come out so odd. It must've been his fault. His little feet padded on the ground as he raced over toward her, muscles bunched for the leap and the contact with her... he would never forget. Memories assailed him. His father getting chased down by the Thunder Brothers, his mother dying at the hands of humans to feed their families, Kagome being taken captive by the Thunder Brothers, Kagome attacking demon after demon after demon in a never ending cycle and being attacked back, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome... Suddenly the ground was coming at him swiftly, he felt the impact but was strangely empty. Looking down at his feet, Kagome had collapsed on the floor shuddering. When she looked up at him her eyes were wild and full of fear. "My god, Shippo."
"Kagome, what did you do to him?" Sango fairly squealed in horror.
Coming onto her hands and knees, Kagome was wracked with a terrible coughing fit that didn't stop until blood came up and out onto the ground. "I think I'm fine... Shippo should be okay in a few minutes." Laying her forehead on the ground she pounded her fist beside her head. "Why? Why does it have to be me?" She felt the onslaught of tears and held them back fiercely.
InuYasha looked down at her. "Get up. We don't have time to waste on you feeling sorry for yourself." His face was set in harsh lines, as she looked up at him to confirm that she had actually heard him utter those terribly cruel words. Nodding silently, she pulled to her feet and asked Sango to pick up Shippo for her. Miroku watched the exchange with shock writ in every feature of his body. 'How could he just tell her that? Not even a week ago he wouldn't let us see her for fear that we would make her feel uncomfortable. Now he's getting close to cussing her out for something that she can't help?'
'How could she? Just what went through her mind that she could do this to me?' He had figured out her heart's desire and he hated it. He couldn't fathom why in the world she would want to be both at once acceptable and unfit for him as well. She had wanted to know his life story and feelings, which he knew she had asked him of his past before just wanting to form a bond with him but he hadn't known that she had wanted to talk with him about it so badly as to make it one of the top things in her life to do. She had also wanted to make him feel less of an outsider in the place he had forged for himself being neither demon nor human but a mix of both. He had thought the world revolved around him with all these new little things he had discovered of himself. That most everything happened to him, but now Kagome took that from him. When she got mad thinking that he was in trouble she could morph into a full fledged demon no strings attached to her, whereas with himself he would morph into a full demon only to have his mind almost literally blown to dust in the want and lust of blood shed. Now she could delve into anyone's mind, human and demon alike, and rip out the most coveted secrets, past experiences, thoughts, wants and needs. It fairly pissed him off that he could have no secrets with her now. She knew all of what had transpired betwixt him and Kikyou; she knew what in all he had thought of her time and again.
He knew what in all had transpired in his life and now he felt as if he knew even less. He had figured he had Kagome pegged in a neat little box as to what in all she needed and wanted and now this came at him. Enough was enough, he couldn't deal with it and it was driving him nuts. He could still see Shippo in his mind's eye, his mouth opened in a silent scream, eyes twitching with contained panic. Kagome's face had stayed impassive through the whole experience, staring off into some distant land where only she and Shippo existed, a place of horror.
He hadn't wanted to share with her the pain of having his flesh pierced by the arrow point, hers or Kikyou's it mattered not they were both one and the same now. Both her and Kikyou had betrayed him one way or another. Kikyou taking the shards to Naraku and Kagome raping his mind of all his closely held fears and concerns they were similar in ways they would never figure for themselves. And because they were both so similar he loved them and hated them in the same turn.
InuYasha watched nonchalantly as Shippo came out of his reverie and looked at Kagome from the safety of Sango's arms. InuYasha envied the little kitsune that he could fear Kagome and with reason whereas InuYasha couldn't do that.
Miroku watched Inu Yasha's face grow sterner as he went deeper and deeper into his own thoughts. 'If he doesn't come out of himself he's going to grow to hate her and god knows who or what else would be in the path of his fury.' Kagome walked sullenly beside Sango, enduring the fearful looks shot at her by the kitsune and the questioning ones by Sango. Inu Yasha failed to look at her at all, so he figured it mattered not at all to him. He had a niggling feeling in the back of his head that Kagome was going to do something stupid should this go on any longer, but he felt that there was not overmuch he could do about it but be ready for it when it happened.
Tired and worn, the gang marched steadily towards where Inu Yasha led them. It was only when Kagome had spoken up that she was worn and could make it no further that Inu Yasha finally stopped ready to turn in for the night. Kagome sat near a tree stroking her tail and picking out the dead leaves that had caught in it as she had drug it behind her with little thought of anything more than the sorrow she was gripped by from every one of the group's past experiences save Sango. She was grateful that she didn't have to foot some of the burden of losing all of her family and then having to find that her brother was alive just under the control of Naraku.
Her soul ached in torment from all the sadness and sorrow she had felt and experienced through everyone. The duties that had been dumped on Miroku that strained him so badly ever since his father was swallowed up by the void in his hand. The pain at feeling Kikyou pierce his heart with an arrow that shattered the love they had experienced. The arrow that had pierced his heart let loose by her hand and felt by him, flesh and soul. The pain at finding that Kikyou was still alive and that he was to work with someone who looked and acted like Kikyou at every turn and crossroad. Then there was Shippo. Feeling bereft and alone, fearful at every battle that everyone save him was engaged in, his family lost to him at the cruel hands of humans or demons, either were both terrible in the same way.
There was nothing that anyone could say or do to alleviate these burdens and she now knew first hand what it was to have them happen to her. She could now say, and mean, "I know what you mean." It was horrible and no matter the pain she was under she never regretted the desires her heart had brought upon her. But then again what was the use of regretting what was already done and past? Ever since she had started to get to 'know' Kikyou her views on life had changed a bit and they didn't seem to be for the more perky side of life, for what could be found on an upside when you were in love with someone who was infatuated with a walking corpse and you had to fight for your life daily against demons that were so many times stronger than you are... it kindly dwindles the optimistic attitude.
Hearing the soft snores of her companions trusting her to keep to them now in her 'time of need', she stood and walked away from them. No intention of ever coming back entered her mind. She was grateful to Inu Yasha for all his insight on tracking and keeping from being tracked that she learned from his memories as she made her way gracefully and silent as a cat away from the fire and the safety of her group.
Inu Yasha awoke in the morning unsurprised at her absence. Sango refused to leave him alone about getting her. "Listen. I know where she's going because she knows how to cure herself now. She has one of two options: going through with the curse to where it will end with her or curing herself of it and being herself again. I figure she'd choose the latter as opposed to the former all right? So if you follow me we'll get there and we might even meet up with her. But I know even if she chooses the former she'll still go there to see if she can put herself through it."
"Since when did you get so knowledgeable about Kagome, shit for brains?" Inu Yasha had figured he would be here sooner or later. Although he had figured that it would be later rather than now, or rather he wished it had been later instead of now.
"Since I made her mine." Inu Yasha retorted smug to see the wolf's face drop in shock.
"You wouldn't dare!" He accused his voice more of a bark than anything else.
"Oh I did. I claimed her and you could check yourself... If you knew how to find her that is." For once he actually wanted Kagome to see a battle between himself and the wolf. But if she were there she would make them stop one way or the other. If he took care of the wolf now there would be no problems later. However, if he were to kill the wolf he would have to provide for Kagome for the rest of her life as there was no where that she could go if he would want to leave her. He cursed himself when he didn't see any major difference between caring for Kagome for the rest of his life and caring for Kikyou.
Kouga dug his heels into the ground preparing to attack Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha gave him one cursory glance then turned his back on him and walked away leaving the wolf in confusion. Kouga looked from Miroku to Sango to Shippo to see if any of them would have any idea as to why Inu Yasha had just backed down from a fight for Kagome's virtue and claim. This had never happened before and it pissed him off that Inu Yasha had just looked at him as if he weren't worth his time.
Speeding up to where the half-breed was, Kouga stopped in front of Inu Yasha and slapped him across the face. Inu Yasha's eyes turned toward him and regarded him without any real emotion. Suddenly all the air flew out of Kouga's lungs as claws buried themselves in his stomach.
"What do you want wolf?" Inu Yasha's impassive voice flowed over top of his head like ice water. "You're wasting my time and I have plenty of other important matters to deal with."
Kouga marveled at the fact that Inu Yasha's voice never altered in tone. It was as if he were a walking dream known only to himself and seen to others. "Kagome."
Inu Yasha's eyes lit briefly with emotion then went flat again. "What about her?" His amber eyes turned on Kouga and for some reason Kouga felt that there was nothing going on behind the eyes, as with everything that was shown... there wasn't room left for his mind to operate. It seemed that as Inu Yasha looked at him, all the emotions that would've been raging in his body were conveyed to his and he felt all the energy he had drain out of his body.
When Inu Yasha's gaze left him, he felt it all rush back as he gasped for air, feeling as if he had just been trapped underwater for an overlong period of time. Miroku hunkered down by his side. "Kouga it would be best if you didn't meddle in the affairs of Kagome and Inu Yasha around this time."
"Affairs? You're kidding me right? Kagome wouldn't sleep with more than one man and that man has to be me..." His eyes searched the monk's face hoping that he would get more information than the measly bit he had just been tossed.
"If you were smart, Kouga, you would leave now. Inu Yasha isn't sure about what he is about no matter what he says and he feels betrayed by Kagome now that he knows somewhat of what she's done to him." Miroku explained before his face met the ground.
"You have no right to share any information about Kagome or myself to this flea-bitten demon wannabe." His upper lip curled away from his teeth exposing his fangs as a low growl emanated from his chest.
Miroku gave him the finger when he got back onto his feet. Kouga watched the strained tension between the two and figured that Kagome had done something major. "Where is she dog shit?"
"Don't talk to me." Inu Yasha growled warningly, his temper rising with ever passing second.
Kouga advanced on him. "Where-" Then everything went black.
InuYasha: Damn woman! Took you blasted long enough to get on with the story! What in the hell do you think you're doing lazing off and drawing? Write! Write! Write!
Danie: *throws hands in air* what do you think I'm doing baka? Geez... and besides I was doing it as a favor for a friend-
InuYasha: Friend? What is this 'friend'? Me! I am the Friend! No one else therefore you write about ME!!
Kagome: Osuwari!
InuYasha: *thumps in the ground*
Danie: Hey Miroku? Sango?
Sango: Houshi-sama took off a while ago. Maybe you should see to him?
Danie: Sure thing... OH Disclaimer!! I do not own anyone, save Kaori and Akiko... and Tanrakuteki but he's dead now so what does it matter? ^.^;;
Naraku's castle stood on a high hilltop. Kikyou had been standing outside the building's guard so as to not be detected but she knew that Naraku could feel her presence. It mattered not to her if InuYasha failed or if he succeeded, so long as he died. Naraku would go down with him, she knew that much but didn't want to know beyond that. He would come to her himself she was sure of that and just awaited him to see the fit time to emerge from his dank, dark home. It would be satisfying to see his reaction and his retaliation at hearing the news of Kagome's downfall. Now that she was a demon it would most likely throw a kink in his well-laid plans he had been formulating for months on end.
Getting the living wench out of the way would help her along in talking InuYasha into the grave with her. The idea that maybe he loved her, and wanted to keep her, never crossed her mind, nor would it ever.
The feeling that something malevolent was watching her from behind alerted her to the presence of Naraku. Turning to see the familiar baboon- cloaked demon, "Hello, Onigumo." She said pleasantly enough, with a smirk of triumph on her face.
(
InuYasha watched as Kagome cried in Kaori's chest about how sorry she was that she had failed. Akiko and Kaori exchanged looks of sympathy, tipping him off that they had known she would fail before they had even set her off on the mission. And there she was just crying her little heart out over it, oblivious to the real purpose that she had been used for. That he had been used for, for that matter. His temper boiled at the idea of him being a convenient side benefit to Kaori and Akiko's own purposes and he wanted to hit something, namely them.
Kagome hadn't figured out these facts yet and he didn't feel like informing her. His feelings were in a mess ever since he had met Kaori and Akiko. They messed with his head and refused to leave him alone. Now that Kagome's little escapade for them was over he was going to fix this to where they would never come back again as they had no right to be with his group.
It was being almost forced to look at her, while she hiccupped, that made his temper boil over the way it did. His feet were deceptively quiet on the bed of leaves as he stood before the little sob group. He let loose a snarl fit to scare a battle worn demon. Kagome jumped but Akiko and Kaori sat there looking at him coolly.
"Why don't you guys just cut the shit and tell her that this was all set up the entire time? That she did all she was expected to and more, that way she can stop her sniveling and we can get back to important things." His voice was harsh and he felt that if he had been on the receiving end he would've winced to hear it but he wasn't and therefore he did not regret what he said.
Kagome's eyes hardened but the tears didn't stop on their way down her face. "What do you mean I did all that I was intended to do?"
Kaori waited for Kagome to face her with the question instead of posing it toward the hanyou but InuYasha answered for her in any case. "They had intended you to go to the past to save their lives only. They fed you that bull shit about them wanting you to save them from being cursed, because they knew that was the story you had been told. If you hadn't told them in the past what story it was you were being fed yourself here in what I term the 'present' they wouldn't have fed it to you like that at all." He took in a great breath before he carried on with his rant. "And it caused them to mess in my life as well as yours and I realize that part of it is your fault but I put the majority of it at their feet. But I condemn all equally." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down his nose at them as he spoke. "During that entire time all they could do was fiddle in Miroku and Sango's life and scare the daylights out of everyone with that bull that Akiko pulled on showing Sango what had happened."
Kaori pushed Kagome off her lap gently but firmly. "Well InuYasha if that is all you have to reveal and we have no further use here..." She trailed off and gave her hand to Akiko to help him to his feet. "Kagome... if I could have a word?" Akiko asked gently as he got up.
Kagome, ragged by all the news she had to take in and the emotional stress she had been under since figuring that she had lost the battle she was supposed to have won, nodded soundlessly and followed him. InuYasha watched with his rage threatening to burst from his chest at any second and blow him to pieces along with every other moron in the vicinity.
(
InuYasha stood above her looking down. Her hair had not gone back to any semblance of her human coloring ever since she had gotten back. He remembered everything that she had done to him and he resented her. He knew she had to leave him but to tamper with his memories like that? The fact that she had let that woman tamper with them so he would 'fall in love' with Kikyou. It was too much to handle.
He could feel that Miroku and Sango were finally coming back from their little escapade into the woods. He figured they had been making up as their scent was all over each other. He figured it was a blessing he couldn't smell their arousal all over each other as well.
Bending over, he picked Kagome up only to have her eyes burst apart and stare at him with all the feelings that were raging in his chest. Fury being the boldest one in raising it's ugly head. He dropped her like a hot potato, as he felt his emotions drain out of him and leave him tired and calm.
InuYasha sank to his knees before her while she panted and lay on the ground. Emotions chased themselves across her features: anger, fear, rage, despair, and a dying love. Dying.
Miroku heard Inu Yasha's cry of anguish. He looked toward Sango to see if he had imagined it but her face was just as worried as he felt. They took off like a bullet through the rest of the woods until they saw Kagome lying on her back stock still and pale seemingly not breathing and feared the worst. "Kagome??" Sango fairly shrieked.
Pale and foggy brained Kagome sat upright and started laughing. Tears coursed their way down her cheeks as she shook with the force of the gales of her laughter. InuYasha just stared at her like she was inhabited with some demon or had grown another head. Miroku watched him glance from him to Sango as if he expected them to see the same thing he was. "Kagome-sama?" Miroku hesitated beside her, and then put his hand on her shoulder.
She wanted to tell them to stop touching her. Every time one of them touched her she could feel the emotions raging inside them. She would never have accounted so much RAGE being inside InuYasha and whom it was directed at. He hated it that she had cried and cried. So when she sat up and faced him, laughter bubbled out of her throat instead. Miroku was filled with nothing more than worry for her and love for Sango, much easier than she would've ever predicted from Miroku. Sango however didn't touch her and she liked that.
As soon as everyone's hands were off of her she crawled away from them as fast as her arms and legs could manage. Her chest heaved with the effort it took to clear out her body of everyone else's feelings and find her own. "Where did Akiko go?" She asked hoarsely. InuYasha looked up and some emotion kindled in his eyes before guttering out and dying. His hand rose and he pointed towards the trees behind her. Standing up, he brushed off his pants and left.
He felt empty. His heart had no emotions. His body felt like a husk of his former self. Now that none of his emotions were in his way he remembered his purpose for being out here in the first place, before Akiko and Kaori had stopped him from his mission. He was out here to help Kagome become human again.
Letting the air out of his lungs, he turned only to see that Miroku was following him with a dazed kind of dream-walker look to him. "InuYasha?" He asked, his voice sounding as if it came from a million miles away. And maybe it did, his mind looked like it had vacated his skull for the time being.
Sango hadn't touched Kagome and therefore retained her feelings. "Kagome... what is it you've done to them?"
Kagome sighed as she lay on her side. Her breathing regulated and she eyed Sango. "Don't touch me... I think I finally figured out what I can do. And I don't necessarily like it." Rolling onto her stomach, she shoved up with her hands and got to her feet.
Sango frowned at her. "Kagome what could you mean?"
"I mean... I dunno, but I think you don't want to know." Kagome closed her eyes when she heard some harsh sound hit her ears. Her body shook in time with the sounds confusing her until she realized she was laughing hoarsely.
"Kagome... from what I've seen of what you do... or rather heard of what you have done, why this too? Why do you have this put on you too? Kagome..." Sango cut off when Kagome turned, a harsh look in her eyes.
"I don't know, Sango. Tell me, why do I get singled out for this stuff? Why does it happen to me? I don't know, all right? If I knew wouldn't I be doing something to prevent it? I didn't want to know InuYasha resents me? I didn't want to know how much Miroku cares for you nor what you were doing back there in the woods! I didn't, all right? No matter if you believe me or not I just don't give a bloody damn I've been through too much to give a shit about what's changing now." Clutching her sides again she burst out in spasms of laughter.
"InuYasha used to love me! When he thought I was Kikyou! Now he doesn't and he was infatuated with me lately! Get that one?" She fell over, tears streaming down her face as she laughed on and on. "Miroku loves you but he sets the need of having spawn higher than your love, hence why your relationship hasn't progressed till now. He thinks he's going to get some out of you! And on top of that-" She cut off suddenly assaulted by a coughing fit. Her face paled with ever cough. Sango looked at her friend and bent to touch her before she remembered her words. "S-sango?" Kagome's voice came out small and frail. "Sango... what is going on?"
Sango felt her chest contract in pain for her friend. "Kagome... I think that we need to get you fixed and fast... I don't think you can last much longer with this curse." She had never felt the need to cry over anyone or anything ever since she had lost her brother to Naraku... Miroku had promised to help her retrieve him. But her hopes had been dashed too many times for her feelings on the subject to be any more than words. Although, for some reason, just watching Kagome struggle to keep her composure with what had just been revealed in her made her want to weep for her friend. "Kagome can you stand?"
"Yes I think I can Sango, thank you." Kagome replied. "Have InuYasha and Miroku already gotten farther ahead?" Her face was flushed red as she remembered the flow of words that had left her lips before she could alter their flow.
"Yes, they went on a ways. But if we go now we can catch up to them in a few minutes." Sango said soothingly.
Kagome nodded and rose to her feet, swaying slightly. "Let's go then." She smiled faintly to trail InuYasha and Miroku. Their footsteps got sturdier as their feelings came back to them.
Sango watched her friend's face light up as she trailed the men in front of her. "Kagome... Listen, if its any consolation whatsoever I'm really sorry about all of this. If I would've kept watch better..."
"You couldn't have." Kagome said looking her in the eye. "You were both worn out with worry and would've fallen asleep at the same time if not that night then another night. I was determined to go and show that I was not some child to be taken care of. I had no intention of letting you guys do as you pleased with me just because it suited your purposes. Looking back on it now, it seems so far away and childish... you think?"
Sango thought about it and agreed. It really did seem like such a long long time since the events that altered and almost literally flipped Kagome's life upside down. Looking at Kagome, she smiled and noticed Kagome's fangs when she grinned back. Things really had changed and yet they had not. Sango still felt a strong bond with Kagome coming from out of all the battles they had faced head on together, if not all the time then most of it. Added to the battles, was the emotional support Kagome offered every time she needed it. It almost sickened her to think of how little she had been there for Kagome when she needed it. She could count on her fingers how many times she had actually helped Kagome and figured it would take a lifetime to show her all the gratitude she felt to Kagome for all the things she had done for her.
Kagome wanted so much not to have ran away, to have listened to InuYasha when he told her not to go, listened to Miroku or Sango when they asked her to talk. But pride is a force to be reckoned with and she obviously didn't have the steel to tell it no and do what she needed to, not what she wanted to. She figured her monthly was around the corner with her being so emotional of late, then was struck with the thought of 'Do demons have monthlies?'
"Sango, you're a demon hunter... that means you know a goodly amount about the demons you slay correct?"
Sango nodded wondering where she was going with this.
"Do demons have monthlies?"
"Monthlies?" Sango asked puzzled.
"Uhm... rag time?" Sango shook her head in confusion. "Hmm. Ah, the time of the month when girls regularly bleed on themselves?"
Sango's face burned a brilliant shade of crimson as she tried not to choke while she coughed in shock. "Ah, Kagome I don't rightly know."
"Oh, well then I suppose if it comes then I'm screwed for the time being then huh?" Kagome smiled brilliantly at her.
The boys were before them. InuYasha standing with his arms crossed over his chest in whine position #2 translating: I am waiting on you even though you're slowing me down and I would like you to feel guilty for it. Miroku on the other hand was swatting down apples out of a tree with his staff. Three of them were on the ground at his feet, discarded because of their obvious bad shape. Shippo sat on the ground munching on the apples that weren't nasty or gross. His eyes darted back and forth from Kagome to the food in his hand. He hadn't touched Kagome since InuYasha had threatened his life if he even thought about bothering her while she sobbed all over Kaori. He was close to saying that she hadn't even taken notice of him as he followed InuYasha after he touched Kagome and went a bit dazed away from her. He hadn't touched her after InuYasha told him no and he kept from touching her because now the honest truth was: She scared him to death.
He stifled the urge to flinch when her eyes lit on him. "Shippo!" She smiled and moved toward him. Looking at her he couldn't see how InuYasha had come out so odd. It must've been his fault. His little feet padded on the ground as he raced over toward her, muscles bunched for the leap and the contact with her... he would never forget. Memories assailed him. His father getting chased down by the Thunder Brothers, his mother dying at the hands of humans to feed their families, Kagome being taken captive by the Thunder Brothers, Kagome attacking demon after demon after demon in a never ending cycle and being attacked back, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome... Suddenly the ground was coming at him swiftly, he felt the impact but was strangely empty. Looking down at his feet, Kagome had collapsed on the floor shuddering. When she looked up at him her eyes were wild and full of fear. "My god, Shippo."
"Kagome, what did you do to him?" Sango fairly squealed in horror.
Coming onto her hands and knees, Kagome was wracked with a terrible coughing fit that didn't stop until blood came up and out onto the ground. "I think I'm fine... Shippo should be okay in a few minutes." Laying her forehead on the ground she pounded her fist beside her head. "Why? Why does it have to be me?" She felt the onslaught of tears and held them back fiercely.
InuYasha looked down at her. "Get up. We don't have time to waste on you feeling sorry for yourself." His face was set in harsh lines, as she looked up at him to confirm that she had actually heard him utter those terribly cruel words. Nodding silently, she pulled to her feet and asked Sango to pick up Shippo for her. Miroku watched the exchange with shock writ in every feature of his body. 'How could he just tell her that? Not even a week ago he wouldn't let us see her for fear that we would make her feel uncomfortable. Now he's getting close to cussing her out for something that she can't help?'
'How could she? Just what went through her mind that she could do this to me?' He had figured out her heart's desire and he hated it. He couldn't fathom why in the world she would want to be both at once acceptable and unfit for him as well. She had wanted to know his life story and feelings, which he knew she had asked him of his past before just wanting to form a bond with him but he hadn't known that she had wanted to talk with him about it so badly as to make it one of the top things in her life to do. She had also wanted to make him feel less of an outsider in the place he had forged for himself being neither demon nor human but a mix of both. He had thought the world revolved around him with all these new little things he had discovered of himself. That most everything happened to him, but now Kagome took that from him. When she got mad thinking that he was in trouble she could morph into a full fledged demon no strings attached to her, whereas with himself he would morph into a full demon only to have his mind almost literally blown to dust in the want and lust of blood shed. Now she could delve into anyone's mind, human and demon alike, and rip out the most coveted secrets, past experiences, thoughts, wants and needs. It fairly pissed him off that he could have no secrets with her now. She knew all of what had transpired betwixt him and Kikyou; she knew what in all he had thought of her time and again.
He knew what in all had transpired in his life and now he felt as if he knew even less. He had figured he had Kagome pegged in a neat little box as to what in all she needed and wanted and now this came at him. Enough was enough, he couldn't deal with it and it was driving him nuts. He could still see Shippo in his mind's eye, his mouth opened in a silent scream, eyes twitching with contained panic. Kagome's face had stayed impassive through the whole experience, staring off into some distant land where only she and Shippo existed, a place of horror.
He hadn't wanted to share with her the pain of having his flesh pierced by the arrow point, hers or Kikyou's it mattered not they were both one and the same now. Both her and Kikyou had betrayed him one way or another. Kikyou taking the shards to Naraku and Kagome raping his mind of all his closely held fears and concerns they were similar in ways they would never figure for themselves. And because they were both so similar he loved them and hated them in the same turn.
InuYasha watched nonchalantly as Shippo came out of his reverie and looked at Kagome from the safety of Sango's arms. InuYasha envied the little kitsune that he could fear Kagome and with reason whereas InuYasha couldn't do that.
Miroku watched Inu Yasha's face grow sterner as he went deeper and deeper into his own thoughts. 'If he doesn't come out of himself he's going to grow to hate her and god knows who or what else would be in the path of his fury.' Kagome walked sullenly beside Sango, enduring the fearful looks shot at her by the kitsune and the questioning ones by Sango. Inu Yasha failed to look at her at all, so he figured it mattered not at all to him. He had a niggling feeling in the back of his head that Kagome was going to do something stupid should this go on any longer, but he felt that there was not overmuch he could do about it but be ready for it when it happened.
Tired and worn, the gang marched steadily towards where Inu Yasha led them. It was only when Kagome had spoken up that she was worn and could make it no further that Inu Yasha finally stopped ready to turn in for the night. Kagome sat near a tree stroking her tail and picking out the dead leaves that had caught in it as she had drug it behind her with little thought of anything more than the sorrow she was gripped by from every one of the group's past experiences save Sango. She was grateful that she didn't have to foot some of the burden of losing all of her family and then having to find that her brother was alive just under the control of Naraku.
Her soul ached in torment from all the sadness and sorrow she had felt and experienced through everyone. The duties that had been dumped on Miroku that strained him so badly ever since his father was swallowed up by the void in his hand. The pain at feeling Kikyou pierce his heart with an arrow that shattered the love they had experienced. The arrow that had pierced his heart let loose by her hand and felt by him, flesh and soul. The pain at finding that Kikyou was still alive and that he was to work with someone who looked and acted like Kikyou at every turn and crossroad. Then there was Shippo. Feeling bereft and alone, fearful at every battle that everyone save him was engaged in, his family lost to him at the cruel hands of humans or demons, either were both terrible in the same way.
There was nothing that anyone could say or do to alleviate these burdens and she now knew first hand what it was to have them happen to her. She could now say, and mean, "I know what you mean." It was horrible and no matter the pain she was under she never regretted the desires her heart had brought upon her. But then again what was the use of regretting what was already done and past? Ever since she had started to get to 'know' Kikyou her views on life had changed a bit and they didn't seem to be for the more perky side of life, for what could be found on an upside when you were in love with someone who was infatuated with a walking corpse and you had to fight for your life daily against demons that were so many times stronger than you are... it kindly dwindles the optimistic attitude.
Hearing the soft snores of her companions trusting her to keep to them now in her 'time of need', she stood and walked away from them. No intention of ever coming back entered her mind. She was grateful to Inu Yasha for all his insight on tracking and keeping from being tracked that she learned from his memories as she made her way gracefully and silent as a cat away from the fire and the safety of her group.
Inu Yasha awoke in the morning unsurprised at her absence. Sango refused to leave him alone about getting her. "Listen. I know where she's going because she knows how to cure herself now. She has one of two options: going through with the curse to where it will end with her or curing herself of it and being herself again. I figure she'd choose the latter as opposed to the former all right? So if you follow me we'll get there and we might even meet up with her. But I know even if she chooses the former she'll still go there to see if she can put herself through it."
"Since when did you get so knowledgeable about Kagome, shit for brains?" Inu Yasha had figured he would be here sooner or later. Although he had figured that it would be later rather than now, or rather he wished it had been later instead of now.
"Since I made her mine." Inu Yasha retorted smug to see the wolf's face drop in shock.
"You wouldn't dare!" He accused his voice more of a bark than anything else.
"Oh I did. I claimed her and you could check yourself... If you knew how to find her that is." For once he actually wanted Kagome to see a battle between himself and the wolf. But if she were there she would make them stop one way or the other. If he took care of the wolf now there would be no problems later. However, if he were to kill the wolf he would have to provide for Kagome for the rest of her life as there was no where that she could go if he would want to leave her. He cursed himself when he didn't see any major difference between caring for Kagome for the rest of his life and caring for Kikyou.
Kouga dug his heels into the ground preparing to attack Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha gave him one cursory glance then turned his back on him and walked away leaving the wolf in confusion. Kouga looked from Miroku to Sango to Shippo to see if any of them would have any idea as to why Inu Yasha had just backed down from a fight for Kagome's virtue and claim. This had never happened before and it pissed him off that Inu Yasha had just looked at him as if he weren't worth his time.
Speeding up to where the half-breed was, Kouga stopped in front of Inu Yasha and slapped him across the face. Inu Yasha's eyes turned toward him and regarded him without any real emotion. Suddenly all the air flew out of Kouga's lungs as claws buried themselves in his stomach.
"What do you want wolf?" Inu Yasha's impassive voice flowed over top of his head like ice water. "You're wasting my time and I have plenty of other important matters to deal with."
Kouga marveled at the fact that Inu Yasha's voice never altered in tone. It was as if he were a walking dream known only to himself and seen to others. "Kagome."
Inu Yasha's eyes lit briefly with emotion then went flat again. "What about her?" His amber eyes turned on Kouga and for some reason Kouga felt that there was nothing going on behind the eyes, as with everything that was shown... there wasn't room left for his mind to operate. It seemed that as Inu Yasha looked at him, all the emotions that would've been raging in his body were conveyed to his and he felt all the energy he had drain out of his body.
When Inu Yasha's gaze left him, he felt it all rush back as he gasped for air, feeling as if he had just been trapped underwater for an overlong period of time. Miroku hunkered down by his side. "Kouga it would be best if you didn't meddle in the affairs of Kagome and Inu Yasha around this time."
"Affairs? You're kidding me right? Kagome wouldn't sleep with more than one man and that man has to be me..." His eyes searched the monk's face hoping that he would get more information than the measly bit he had just been tossed.
"If you were smart, Kouga, you would leave now. Inu Yasha isn't sure about what he is about no matter what he says and he feels betrayed by Kagome now that he knows somewhat of what she's done to him." Miroku explained before his face met the ground.
"You have no right to share any information about Kagome or myself to this flea-bitten demon wannabe." His upper lip curled away from his teeth exposing his fangs as a low growl emanated from his chest.
Miroku gave him the finger when he got back onto his feet. Kouga watched the strained tension between the two and figured that Kagome had done something major. "Where is she dog shit?"
"Don't talk to me." Inu Yasha growled warningly, his temper rising with ever passing second.
Kouga advanced on him. "Where-" Then everything went black.