I love you to the bones

Disclaimer: All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.

Warning: This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it, don't read. They are out of character. I didn't get as many reviews this time, so I'm guessing you don't like it. So unless I get lots of reviews, I'm not going to update (Okay so that's blackmail and is veryyyyy mean. But seriously guys?! A girl needs support here!). I really haven't got anything, except this chapter again is dedicated to anyone who is going through this or who has been through this. If you have a problem with this chapter, and it's content please tell me. And I'll change it. Warning this is an R, a strong R so please don't read on if that's a problem. The song in the chappie is Short stories with tragic endings by From Autumn to Ashes. I advise hearing the song first, it's truly beautiful and you will be able to relate to it.

She poked her head into the bathroom, Harry was in there. He looked at her, Hermione could see the red slap mark on his cheek. His eyes looked wet with tears.

"Don't tell me that little slap made you cry." She said, jeering at him,

"Hermione shut up, because you'll regret this in the morning."

"How do you know?" She retorted spitefully, Harry was silent, "That's right you don't." With that she slammed the door and murmured a charm, she went back to the bed and crawled towards Echo who was sat up leaning against the headboard, "Where were we? Ahh yes. That's right I remember." She said, and licked over his lips before they locked and their tongues battled.

Echo's hands moved to the strap of her bra, and with one hand he undid it skilfully. The Peaches came on the stereo, Fuck the Pain Away. Which Hermione thought was pretty damn appropriate for the moment. Hermione hand pulled off his t-shirt, and she runned her hands up and down his toned chest. She bent down and licked a small line up it. She got to the top and kissed Echo's neck, she then blew her way down the line, making Echo arch his back with some sort of pleasure. Soon Hermione reached down to his studded belt, she pulled it off and discarded it to the side of her bed. It clinked loudly against the wall. But she didn't care if they all knew what was happening. They deserved to know, bit of pain for her months of it.

She pulled down his jeans in frustration. Then his boxers, she slipped them off his legs, and took him into her mouth. She swivelled her tongue around him and gently started to suck. Echo soon found his hands in Hermione's hair, weaving his hand inside its curls with pleasure. He moaned her name over and over again as she explored different methods and techniques. She gently slid her teeth along it and looked up at him to signal she had finished. He smiled and gently unzipped her skirt.

"Jeez, you really did mean it, when you said you were anorexic…" He stated, but carried on anyway. "You're not fat you know. In fact I like a girl with curves. But if you're happy as you are…" He murmured,

She guessed you couldn't even fuck the pain away… The Lost Prophets came on and after a few more moves they were both naked. Echo rolled them over so he was on top. He pushed into her,

"Echo" She breathed out, and wrapped her legs up his back, letting her cold feet touch his warm back. He started to push in and out of her, and the bed creaked slightly, but she didn't give a shit. He pushed in harder, and she moved her legs further up his back. She moaned his name over again,

"Faster" She groaned, and the pace picked up. She could tell he'd had his fair share of girls, unlike herself. Who had only ever had Brett?! The pace picked up and Hermione clawed against his back with pleasure. They released at almost the same time, Echo a few mere seconds after. Hermione arched her back with pleasure. And they smiled at each other, almost shyly, almost innocently, almost hopefully like children who had just had their first ever peck on the lips. But in reality they were far from children. Far from innocent. And certainly far from hope. Far from hope indeed.

Hermione woke up the next morning, in a very cold bed; she turned over and saw No-one.

Just a space.

Just the creased bedsheet and pillow where someone had been.

She got up and looked around her room. Her clothes had been folded up into a pile, obviously by Echo. She felt groggy, her body was aching from what her and Echo had done last night.

'Stupid pills' she thought. 'In fact it wasn't even there fault. It was mine for being such a stupid bitch, maybe if I wasn't so fat I'd be better. My life would be under more control. Life wouldn't be such toil. Then again I'm just saying this to kid myself. Kid myself into my weight being the problem, when in reality I'm the problem. I'm the one who sticks out like a sore thumb around everyone else. I'm the one who's a mess. I'm the one who hurts so many people. I'm the one who hurt Harry. Hurt my friends. Hurt my family. I'm the one who made Echo flee. I'm the big stupid… Thing. Maybe finally it's about time I realized the truth. The reason I'm anorexic is not because I'm fat, but because need control. At first it may have been but these days it's just habit, it's just because I want it like this, because without me being like this I'm just a nobody. Yet eventually I'll turning to a nothing anyway. Yet… Somehow, somewhere in my heart, I know I'm not good enough for myself. So why am I good enough for anyone else? I wasn't good enough for Echo, and my friends, I wasn't good enough for Brett… I'm not good enough for anything.

Tears spilt loosely down her face and she got up. The tears that stung her eyes so painfully half blinding her. She stumbled into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She didn't care about the heat; tears racked her body making it jerk so violently as she pulled off the bed sheet she had used to cover her naked emaciated body. The body that she'd cried over so many times, the body she'd die for. The body that was her life. She jumped in the shower that was running cold. She sat in the bottom of the cubicle and cried. She cried her little dying heart out. She wasn't going to live she knew it. There was no way out. She would die as she was now.

Yet she wished someone would come save her. Someone save her from the sprinkling drops of glistening ice cold water spilling over her already permanently cold body. She'd die of pneumonia. She'd die of taking that stupid pill, that was giving her a bad comedown. She'd die from the pressure on her heart. She'd die from lack of vitamins. She'd die intentionally. She'd die of heartache.

She had so many reasons to die… And just not enough reasons to live.

How had she let herself get like this?

Why had she changed so much for him?

Why had she changed so much for ana?

Why had she left the 'Hermione' everyone knew behind?

Why had she turned into something she hated?

She cried. Sat under the shower head and cried. What a state I'm in, she thought. Yet she found herself thinking about the night before. How confident she'd been, how happy she'd been. How she'd forgotten all. She could get used to that feeling. She could get used to the drugs and the comedown. She could get used to being whatever she became. She could get used to forgetting who she really was.

But she wasn't even good enough to be a drug addict.

Echo was gone.

Brett was gone.

Harry… Well, he was as gone as gone could be.

And soon, somehow she'd be gone.

Her thoughts soon turned fuzzy and she felt that familiar dizzy feeling. But no-one was around. There was nothing to fight for. Nothing to hide. No reason to be anyplace. No reason to do anything. She was the guilty one here.

And as one last tear shed down her face. She slipped into her unconscious.

There she laid for two hours freezing cold shower water pouring all over her. After two hours the shower water turned off, a spell had been placed for it turn off. Presuming the person had left it on by mistake.

After another two hours sat freezing in the shower cubicle. She woke up. She wrapped a towel around her shivering body. She walked into her bedroom. She threw on a baggy t-shirt. She turned the CD Player and skipped to a certain track.

Harry sat in History of magic. His last period of the day. He slipped in his headphones with subtlety. And tapped his wand on it and thought of a track. It played gently into his head.

She let the music play. And just listened. Listened to something else apart from her ana. She sat on her bed in an over-sized baggy t-shirt.

"Here you stand seething with guilt.

Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.

The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,

The one thing that I cannot give you,"

Immediately, she slipped into her mind. She knew who was the guilty one, and who was the violated one. Yet, she didn't cry she just let it play, humming along softly, occasionally singing softly a few words.

"Did you ever see that one person?

And the way they do these things

And it hurts so much it's like choking.. Choking?" Sang out an angelic voice, a voice so entrancing, a voice so beautiful it almost made you want to kiss the beholder.

Harry glided into himself, and started to relate to the music.

"I can give you freedom from your guilt,

with a flick of my wrist onto yours.

I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile." Screamed a man's voice dripping with anger and emotions.

Hermione closed her eyes from staring at the canopy of her bed. And tried to blink away tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I can give you death with the look upon my face.

This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,

With no last kiss & no regrets;

You don't deserve good bye.

This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,

With no last kiss & no good bye." The man's voice shouted into Harry's over-worked mind.

And he could sympathise so well with the word's.

He knew soon Hermione would care sometime soon about what she'd done. He knew what drugs did to people. He knew the drugs would make her feel even worse too.

"Here you stand seething with guilt.

Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.

With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.

No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.

Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand.

Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end." The words continued to flow with the music.

The pair unknowingly connecting with each other. Just like the words connected to the beats. The pair unknowingly feeling exactly how the other expected them to. Hermione knew so well this song was so alike to her and Harry's problems. SO alike it was practically written for them.

Harry stood up with the rest of the class, the song on repeat. He walked out of class. He ignored Ron, Draco, Blaise, Luna, Lexi, Parvati, Ginny, anyone he passed and walked out. He walked to the lake and stood on the edge.

"Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,

And the way that they do these things and it hurts so much?

So much it's like choking down the embers of a great blaze." The angelic voice sang out loudly into his head, into his mind.

He tried so hard not to cry bitter tears that were threatening to fall.

"It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions

and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.

You let this one person come down on the most perfect moment." It carried on singing.

His eyes glistened with unshed tears. He furiously kicked a rock into the lake in front of him out of anger for his weakness, how he was so damn close to crying, how he had some weak spot for that bitch. How could he?

"And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what

I'll never have…

I'll never have… I'll never..." It sang into both their ears.

A tear slipped down Hermione's face and she wiped it away furiously. She got up and wlaked to her window. She opened it needing air. She sat on the window seat and looked out of it. She saw Harry kicking stones into the lake.

"I think that… I might… love you" She whispered to naught but the wind. Which carried it away along with all the other secrets that no-one knew. She shut her window, turning the volume up on the song.

Harry kicked the final stone on the small bank where he was standing into the water.

"I LOVE YOU!" He shouted furiously. Angry at himself for being so… Stupid. Angry at himself for showing his weakness. He threw himself down onto the bank then got back up almost immediately. He stamped back into the castle. He shut his eyes, he stopped the song. And shoved the player into his pocket.

He walked his slow way back to the common room. He bumped into the Draco, Pansy, and Ron on the way.

"What's up Harry?" Draco asked,

"Yeah, what's up mate?"

"Just got a shock…" He said distantly, "A big shock."

"Can't be that big in comparison…" Pansy murmured, trailing off towards the end.

"It can be." He said and walked past them,

"Harry? HARRY?" Pansy shouted,

"Harry? Mate? Oi!" Ron shouted,

"Leave him guys, leave him to sort himself out."

Just as Harry headed towards the dormitory. Echo headed towards it too. Echo got their first and knocked against the portrait. Hermione walked over, wiping a tear from her eye. Echo knocked again.

"I'm coming one second." She swung open the portrait, "Hey." She said quietly,

"How are you?" He asked,

"Not that great. Waking up to an empty bed isn't the best."

"I had lessons, I presumed you didn't."

"Well, I don't really. But you could've at least said goodbye." She walked away from him. The t-shirt that was wearing just covering her tiny frame swaying loosely as she walked.

"I did. I left you a note on your table." He went up to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Go read it. And get changed if you want."

"Alright." She murmured, and gently padded up the stairs to her bedroom.

Dear Mione,

I'm sorry I had to leave with no goodbye kiss, or goodbye. This isn't the drugs or alcohol talking… I really like you. I like you lots.

Hope you understand,

Echo.

His handwriting was a loopy scrawl across the page, and Hermione stared at the letter, re-reading it a few times. She smiled and put the note in her top draw that was full of letters from her friends.

She opened her underwear draw and got out a striped pink on black bra, and some matching panties. She put them on and went to her wardrobe. She got out a black pleated skirt with pink mesh underneath that reached quite far above her knees. She then got out some bright pink and black stripy socks. She then got out a pink top with a Jack Skellington face on it and a black zip up hoodie. She shut her wardrobe doors and threw her t-shirt in the wash basket. She then went out of the room and smiled at Echo.

"Hey." She said plainly and walked up to him. She looked up at him smiling,

"Hey. You look awesome. All you need now is some converse shoes." He smiled down at her, as she laughed. "Would you like to come to Hogsmeade with me next weekend? We can apparate to muggle London."

"Cool. I'd like that. Oh, God, I totally forgot it was Hogsmeade next weekend!" He smiled at her.

He sat down on one of the sofas. Hermione sat on his knee and laid against the arm. He wrapped an arm round her and stroked her stomach gently.

"You don't need to lose weight you know?"

"Mmm." She murmured,

"I know you don't want to change your mind, but you really could do with some more weight."

"Whatever." She said,

"I'm just trying to help."

"Well I don't need helping."

"Ok" He said quietly,

"And just for the record," She smiled, and then kissed him gently on the lips, "I really like you too"

'Just not as much as Harry' she thought.

Okay, well hope you like it.

Got a bit of action in there. Got a bit deep. Please review tell me if you liked it. :)

huggles all

Bye bye!

P.C