I love you to the bones
Disclaimer: All belongs to JK Rowling except unfamiliar characters.
Warning: This is about an eating disorder, so may act as a trigger. If you don't like what the fic is about, or how I've written it (A/U), don't read. They are OOC.
News: You are all so very, very, very, amazing, I have decided to leave some comments for you all along with a chapter. I have an idea for the ending it's going to be happy and sad. This story isn't going to end sometime soon though. So do not fear.
Barbiegurl676: I was thinking along the same lines, I really did not want Hermione to die, so I've been thinking long and hard, and I'm not sure, it honestly would kill me to kill off Hermione, but then again… It could be good for the story.
Angeloffear2006: That is what I was trying to get across, how real this issue is. I seriously do encourage you to be brave and write a fic about it. I would definitely read, these sort of issues are best written by someone who has experienced it or has seen someone struggle with it. Even if you don't put it up on here, write it for yourself, you may discover a new side to yourself, I don't know if you're still struggling but when you write about stuff like this, it puts it right into perspective. This story is one of the main reasons for my slow start to recovery, and it get's easier. I get support off of all of my reviewers in one way or another, and in the end it's about learning to love yourself, and realize everyone has faults that's how you recover. If you ever do start writing a story e-mail me at lhawkswell hotmail. com or if you just want a chat. In fact….
Everyone: If you ever do want to chat to me e-mail me at lhawkswell hotmail. Com or if you maybe want to know some more background information or anything.
Ilovetom88: Like I said, I've found a way to make it happy and sad.
Punkchic51689: Yeah, I was thinking about writing two endings but it would mean me putting these 14 chapters up in another story and updating two different versions of this story… So instead I rethought my plot and have come up with some really good idea's.
BlackBetty: I've just realized… Is your name from the totally ace Spiderbait song? If so… YAY! I love, love, love that song. I know, I have some idea's though for happy and sad I wanted to show life is not perfect in this story and I think I'm doing quite well. You mean a lot to me as a reviewer because you have reviewed me for nearly all if not all my chapters and you always suggest things and say little encouraging things, like I said you reviewers have really helped me through this shit. I love happy endings but I didn't want some stupid, unrealistic perfect ending so like I said I've had some idea's.
PatientMental or Fehlerhaft: I love you too, you're like BlackBetty and you nearly always review. Yeah, like I said it won't be a perfect ending, and hopefully there'll be some sadness along the way and stuff.
Oreo69not96: I'm updating w00t! I need to go check out your fics, gah I'm sorry for not replying honey. Thanks so much for keeping reviewing and stuff .
Amanda: Yeah, I'm doing really well actually. This morning I had half a dairy milk! And since I read your review I didn't go purge. I have stopped all the drugs, last Saturday my boyfriend started having a seizure and stopped breathing five time cause he took 6 lines of ketamine, so next time I see him, as much as I love him I am dumping him because I am not getting back into drugs. I refuse to fail again. I am slowly recovering it's about slowly cutting the shit that's bad for you out of your life which unfortunately includes the guy I love. I tried to tell one of my friends but I couldn't and I ended up just bursting into tears, I never told her, I just sobbed. It's difficult telling the people you love how fucked up you are because you are so scared of losing them and them hating you and everything. I never actually got my belly done, but when I was pilled up (yes, so fucking stupid I know, or if you don't know what I mean I mean having taken e's) I pierced my own lip and tongue web, I took them both out but the fact stands that drugs aren't a good thing at all. The thing is, I am slowly crawling back up the slide, I suppose if I told friends they would probably give me a ladder (so to speak) but I can't. I don't want to put this struggle onto them and most of them wouldn't understand anyway. Yes, I'm going to get her back to being healthy, maybe even slightly heavy with curves and stuff, because in the end… That is my aim, my new goal is not being perfect, not killing myself, or any of that stupid stupid shit it is being normal, being healthy even if it means being slightly heavy (our family has a rather heavy bone structure naturally and that's not bull because the doctor told me so a long time ago) I will probably e-mail you. Damn this was a long comment.
HERMAN R. RHOONERY I: Thanks, you are also an awesome reviewer, I want to share a part of me when I wrote this fic, they are al so out of character but people kept reading. Which makes me happy, maybe someday when I'm older I'll re-write this fic as a plain story and try get it published. If I ever do publish a fic, I'm going to get into contact with all of you guys and put a dedication in it for you all. It'll probably never get published anyway but still, I will never stop writing. This fic especially just means too god damn much to me.
Eve Granger: Thanks, you are also an amazing reviewer who mean a lot to me. If you read the thoughts of Hermione, that is mostly how I feel, I understand what I do is wrong, and I want to stop but I want to be perfect too. I hope to soon come to the realization that I'm perfect the way I am, everytime I look in a mirror I say to myself you're perfect the way you are, but everytime it's kind of hollow, someday I want to say it and believe it.
Ammmmmmmy: I hope to forking god you are ok. I know we are both struggling, but the reason I haven't e-mailed is because I have been trying to sort myself out. I really need to chat to you, how come you have been at hospital? Please please please be alright my sweetheart, I hope you are okay. I really do, I need your support at the moment and I miss you so much. I love, love, love you baby.
Thanks to you all so very much, you mean so much to me.
She grabbed some water and drank it…
"You're right, I'm not entirely ready yet." She left the hall and was about to go to the toilet but decided not to. Harry caught up with Hermione,
"I thought you were off to the toilet but no…" He grinned,
"No… I'm not"
They went back to the common room and sat in Hermione's room talking and listening to some music. Hermione kept looking at the toilet… She checked her watch, if she didn't purge soon they'd be no point…
"Back in a second" She said, and ran to the toilet. Harry turned the music down and listened out, Hermione thought he wouldn't hear cause of the music and shoved her fingers down her throat. She gagged twice and coughed up some sticky saliva from right the back of her throat.
Harry got up and ran to the toilet, it was locked, he whipped out his wand,
"Alohomora" He said and it opened, he ran in and over to Hermione. She was bent over the toilet, wretching. "HERMIONE" He shouted,
He pulled her away from the toilet and she looked up at him from the floor, her eyes were like saucers, filled with tears, she looked so innocent sat there looking up at him, her legs were bent behind her, little sticks at the side of her body. He sat down in front of her, he looked at her his eyes boring holes into her body.
"Please Hermione, you're my best friend and I love you for that"
And because you're so amazing he thought to himself.
But not cause I'm beautiful, or just special to him she thought.
"I'm sorry Harry" She hugged him, "I can't help it"
x-------------------------x
It got to Thursday and Echo came to Hermione's room. Hermione sat in it listening to Silver Bullet by Hawthorne Heights. Echo walked in, she was wearing a pair of tight jeans that were a child's size. She had Echo's Thursday band t-shirt on and a black zip-up hoodie.
"Oooh look at you little Miss. Emo" Echo said,
"Oooh look at you Mister.I'm-so-emo-it-hurts" She replied,
"Oh, that hurt Mia, it really did." He laughed, "You look sexy like that, but like I said you need to get some Converse. In Hogsmeade there's an alleyway with a secret passage to Diagon Alley. So we're going there, then into Muggle London on Saturday."
"Does that mean I can use my credit card… And Oh my God." She stopped and grinned at Echo, "Wait and see Ok."
"See what?"
"You'll see on Saturday" She laughed, "Who else is coming?"
"We're meeting up with some friends in London, if that's alright I mean?"
"Sound's cool to me" She sighed, "You know you would probably get on with Harry, you just have to get to know him"
"He look's alright I suppose, his hair is cool if I was his friend I'd cut a fringe in for him, he could do with ditching his glasses though. Or maybe getting some new ones?"
"Yeah, there's a spell I could use to sort out his vision." Hermione said,
"You really are overly intelligent"
She giggled, "Yeah."
Echo laid next to her, and they sat just listening to the music for a bit.
"Echo, I'm gonna stop doing drugs. I'm not addicted, and I don't want to be because pretty soon I'm going to have to start buying and stuff."
"You are? Because I wanted to stop but I had like… No friends who didn't do drugs at Hogwarts at all" He sighed, "I love drugs, but they really will be the death of me" He sighed, Fall Out Boy- Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner started playing.
"Well, if you're gonna stop you're gonna have to go cold turkey."
"I know."
"You can stay here, I know you shouldn't… really. But if Dumbledore asks, he'd understand."
"Dumbledore can't find out though."
"He won't." Hermione played with Echo's hair, "Are you really serious?"
"Yes but… If I stop drugs, which I'm addicted to, will you stop this stupid food game you're playing, I know in a way that's addictive too, but I hate eating disorders…" He hung his head,
"Honey?" She said and got his head between her hands, "What's up?"
A tear slid down Echo's face taking some of his eyeliner with it, another one fell after, then another, then another, "Baby?" Hermione queried, "What is up? Tell me, please… Please"
"My sister… She should have been here… Two years above us, but she's not because, she chose not to come… We all thought this was strange, and she got thinner and thinner, and thinner… And thinner, and then one day she stopped breathing" He sobbed, Hermione wrapped her arms around him, "It was heart complications…" He looked up at her, "Please… I don't want you to turn out like her"
She looked into his eyes, so dark so myseterious,
"I love you" She said, and she meant it, "I love you Echo"
"Stop for me then," He said, "Please"
"I will, but I need you to help me… I need you" She said and a tear slid down her face and Echo wiped it away,
"Don't cry… I love you Mia, I love you" He kissed her tenderly on the lips.
Hermione felt so warm she held tightly onto Echo who held on so tightly back. She thought about Harry, and her love for him slowly ebbed away being replaced by her love for Echo, it sounded strange, but sometimes when you were so mixed up strange things happened. She had so much love to give and now she had someone who loved her back.
They laid in each others arms again, Echo playing with Hermione's hair.
"Can I cut a fringe in for you Mia?" He asked,
"I suppose, but if it looks crap you get tickled!"
"Ok, but it won't do." He smiled, "Kitchen?"
"Yep." She got up and Echo grabbed her hand and led her down the stairs.
He grabbed the kitchen scissors, and did a quick straightening charm just so it was extra straight.
"Ok here we go" He said and started cutting her hair. She waited patiently, and he started to put layers in the back, she sat on a chair and kept blowing at the side fringe hanging at the side of her face. She sighed.
"Done" He said about half an hour later…
She stood up and Echo blew away all the hairs, and then did a quick tidying spell. He washed the scissors and Hermione went upstairs to look at her hair, she screeched and Echo stopped, she came bounding down stairs a smile plastered on her face. "I love it." She said simply.
"Cool, can I mix up a potion for your hair it's a bit dry."
"Ok." She said, "You know if I didn't know you I'd think you were gay."
He laughed and took her upstairs, he then asked where her potion box was, "In my wardrobe" She replied and pointed,
Echo went over and got the box out, he then started to mix up a potion, Hermione watched him smiling, he bit his bottom lip whilst concentrating and looked really cute.
He finished and then went over and applied it to her hair, it was gloopy it kind of had the consistency of the draught of truth that Neville made as a revision topic at the start of this year she thought.
"Right I'd leave it for about an hour…" He said and kissed her, "You look sexy with a green sludgy potion-y head"
"I bet I don't" she laughed,
Harry knocked on the door outside,
"I'm making tea, do you two want some?"
"Yeah, please dear" Echo said,
"Yeah thanks… And how about some biscuits?" She asked, grinning at both of the guys looks, "And then maybe we can all chat a bit"
"Okay" Echo said,
"Yeah. Sure" Harry said, and smiled at them both, "I'll be up in five then."
Harry went downstairs and got out some biscuits and shoved them on a plate, he then turned on the kettle and waited for it to boil. He then got three mugs of tea up and put it all on a tray and went into Hermione's room.
He put the tea on the bed and they all sat around, Hermione grabbed a biscuit first and dipped it into her tea, she was doing this for herself, not for Echo or Harry. For her. She took a bite and savoured the taste.
Well they we are. Doopie doopie doo!
xxxxxxx