AN – Many many thanks to my reviewers especially Roaring Flame Cat for the "hintz of doom" I also tried to put a line breaker thing there with those star things but it didn't work and I was too lazy to figure out how to make it work...sleep deprivation is gooooood.

Disclaimer – I don't own anything except for a Vinnie costume that I'm trying to make…stupid scissors won't cut properly.

Road Trip

Chapter 2

"How long until we get to Cosmo Canyon?" The youngest brunette whined, "My ass hurts, Vinnie, you should eat more."

Yuffie rested her head on her 'seat's' firm chest and started playing with his long silky hair. "You should do something with your hair."

"I like my hair the way it is."

"Meh…" The little shinobi pouted.

"Cloudy honey, how much longer till we get there?" Tifa asked sweetly.

"I dunno." Cloud replied.

Our little attention hogger Yuffie couldn't stand sitting still, "Vinnie, I think my butt is bruised." She faked a sniff.

The demon infested man rolled his eyes as Yuffie started to fidget again for the millionth time during the last thirty minutes. "Yuffie, can you please stop moving around?"

"Nope, it's my job to bother you remember?" Yuffie said cheerily.

"No."

"Oh well, your problem!"

Vincent grabbed her waist forcing her to sit still.

"This buggy smells like Cid, I think I'm gonna get sick…" The teenager whined as she rested her forehead on the back of Cid's seat, luckily he didn't hear her since he was having a 'friendly' conversation with Barret consisting of profane language. Yuffie's stomach made a really funky noise, it sounded like a chocobo on crack running around in a circle and then smacking into a tree.

Elmyra's motherly instincts kicked in, she kindly said, "You should close your eyes Yuffie, it helps most of the time."

"…Not for me…" Yuffie groaned as she rubbed her stomach.

A squeaky voice emerged from the trunk, "Tifa, anyone? Please let me out, please! I'm suffocating here, my moogle looks squished and not so healthy, your chocobo sandwiches are moving and look kinda blue and and AAAGGHHH ITS TRYING TO EAT ME MEEOOOWWRRR!" But no one paid Cait any mind.

Vincent sighed as he looked at Tifa and asked, "Tifa, would you happen to have a plastic bag?"

The brunette with burgundy eyes shook her head solemnly knowing what would happen next if they didn't do anything soon, "Sorry Vincent…"

"Erm, shouldn't we open the window?" Cloud asked the man sitting next to him. "Do chocobos taste good?" He asked randomly as he saw the giant bird run by his buggy.

"No, but you look suspiciously like one!" Yuffie said weakly.

Vincent nodded a response and pressed the button that automatically opens the tinted window. Nothing happened. He continued to press it with his claw, being very careful to not puncture the device, but the window didn't respond, "The window isn't opening."

"Cid, unlock the windows." Shera commanded.

Cid momentarily turned around and glared at her, "Who do you think you are woman!"

"A woman that's your wife who's going to kick your skinny little butt once we get out of this buggy." A hint of sarcasm graced her soft voice.

"My ass! No one can kick the great Cid's ass!"

"I'll break it if you don't open it." Vincent threatened as he glared at the pilot's blond head. He did not want Yuffie to vomit on him again, sometimes he wondered if he was too nice to her, but it wasn't really her fault… Half of his brain kept telling him to be nice to Yuffie while the other half, which was probably infected by the demon Chaos, just told him to throw her through the window.

Chaos held an imaginary miniature pendulum, waving it back and forth trying to hypnotize Vincent's mind, how could one hypnotize a person with an imaginary pendulum will be revealed by Chaos, but no one really cares.

"You will throw her out of through the nice glass window; you will throw her through the nice glass window." He continued for a few more minutes but eventually gave up with a string of profanities after being ignored.

The pilot started to sweat profusely knowing Vincent always keeps his word, "Err yeah sure." He started to mash all the buttons on the door to his left.

"Cid, hurry up, she's getting really green." A concerned Elmyra warned as she clutched Barret's gorilla sized arms.

Barret rolled his eyes, "Ah fuck, this car's gonna start smellin like barf if ya don't open tha fucking window!"

"I don't know which button's for which." Cid quickly said as he felt Vincent's piercing glare.

Barret pointed at the large rubber button on the door, "Ah ya fucker, it's that big button."

"I fucking pressed it you fucking oversized bear!"

"Oh yeah, I'll fucking blow you're brains out ya fucking fucker!" Barret somehow pulled out his gun arm to aim at Cid.

"Fine, I'll press it again shit-fucker." A few seconds passed as Cid pressed the buttons; he even punched it, "See it's not working!"

"Cloud which button is it?" Tifa asked calmly.

The spiky headed jerk scratched his chin, "Good question."

"Ya don't even know what the fuck the buttons are for in you car!" Barret spat at him.

"It's not a car, it's a buggy." Cloud replied as though nothing is wrong in the world, a smuggy smile graced his lips as his eyes mako blue eyes held an odd glint in them.

Vincent has had enough, so he did something totally unexpected, he yelled, "Just stop the goddamn car!"

The car came to a sudden stop as seven pairs or rather six pairs of eyes stared at Vincent since Yuffie was too busy opening the bright red door and running a few feet away to empty her queasy stomach.

"What?" Vincent glared at all the remaining occupants. Everyone flinched and looked away, minus Cloud, as though nothing out of the ordinary happened.

But Cloud, being the smart ass just had to add a little detail, "Vincent, it's a buggy not a car." His response was a glare as he gave a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

AN – I wonder if the world of FFVII eats chocobos…