AN - I think this chapter might include something called Sephiroth bashing, but I don't really know what is considered bashing is nor care what it is so whatever. Fanfic doesn't let me draw little moogles with those funky signs on the keyboard...

Neko-Yuff16 - thanks for the info on where that line came from, now that I think about it I did read that story...anyways, thanks for the review!

And thanks for the reviews everyone else who have bothered reading this mindless insanity.

Road Trip

Chapter 3

"Vinnieeee! I can't move my feet!" Yuffie stared at him with puppy dog eyes hoping he would carry her to the inn.

Vincent closed his eyes for a moment in frustration, "Please Yuffie, can you get off of me?"

"No."

"Why is that?"

"I dunno."

Vincent mentally sighed to himself. He gently nudged/pushed her off of him and quickly stepped out of the red buggy joining the rest of the party.

Yuffie pouted and followed him out, though she probably took about one hundred years with all the yawns and stretches she did.

As the crew of misfits took out all of their belongings in the trunk, including Cait Sith and the evil blue sandwiches a giant toad appeared out of nowhere.

"I AM HERE TO PUNISH YOU AND GET REVENGE MWAHAHAHAHA!" The giant toad said with its deep ugly voice that hurt the ears and made the ground shiver in disgust.

The 'toad' had cocky green colored eyes, warts all over its back and pink feet with yellow toe nails. The party stared at the creature in amazement, wonder and disgust until it unrolled its purple tongue and ate the blinding red buggy with the funky turquoise wheels.

As they gazed at the monstrous excuse of a frog, each member had different thoughts in their head:

Yuffie stared at the thing, her stomach started to rumble. Oooh it's a giant frog, I wonder if it tastes like chocobos...

Tifa was, well, she was dumbfounded. Well, there goes our vacation... she thought sourly.

Shera was pissed Damn, I was going to take that ugly buggy apart and see how it was made...

Elmyra's motherly instincts kicked in again Poor creature, mustn't have eaten in a while...

Cid also happened to be pissed, Stupid mother fucker my pack of Marlboros were still in there...

Vincent's inner child was leaping for joy, Finally I can go home and sleep in my nice and toasty bed...mmm toast...french toast...

Cloud didn't care a bit and shrugged it off, The buggy's gone, oh well, I'll just send Cid back to Rocket Town to get his Highwind so we can continue...

Barret was eyeing the 'toad' oddly as he rubbed his gun arm, Hold on my precious, we'll blow froggy brains soon, my precious. The gun arm whispered to him with it's ear shattering metallic voice, Must blow froggy brains...must blow froggy brains...

Nanaki was too busy trying to get his fur to be flat on himself again that he didn't notice the giant frog Stupid trip, stupid wind, is this what I get for not being human? GRRR

Cait Sith was as cait sithy as he had always been. Let's read the giant froggie's fortune. He did his funky and idiotic dance which consisted of moving his arms back and forth along with his legs. Hmn it says, always eat cats, especially mechanical ones, they taste better than buggies... HOLY CATNIP! He ran behind a small orange rock that hardly covered himself or his moogle.

"RRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!" The toad thingus burped really loudly as he spat out what ever that is left of the metal frame. Everyone in the surrounding area of the toad including the evil turtle fiends with the trident swore they smelled like a dumpster.

"OH THANKS, THANKS A LOT CRAP EATER!" Cid growled, obviously annoyed since he has no more cigarettes and the one in his mouth tastes suspiciously like the dumpster scented air around him.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE ALMIGHTY SEPHIROTH! FEAR MY ALL MIGHTY TONGUE!" The toad's tongue slipped out of it's rotten mouth and ate Cid's spear, the Venus Gospel.

Everyone became brain-dead including the evil blue sandwiches who were planning for world domination.

"...Sephiroth!" The whole party gasped.

"Didn't we kill you?" Tifa asked as she eyed the thingus suspiciously.

"So what, Aeris liked me and got the lifestream to make me alive again...though they fucked it up..." Sephy-toad said through his clenched jaws.

"Wait a minute." Cloud said as he scratched the back of his head, "Aeris liked liked you?...Wooww..."

"How could tha pure Aeris like a mother-fucker like you?" A disgusted Barret asked.

"So you died and got reborned as a giant toad? ... HAHAHAHAHAHA THE GREAT SEPHIROTH A TOAD AND TO SAY I IDOLIZED YOU HAHAHAHA A PATHETIC TOAD HAHAHAHA...!" Cloud couldn't stop laughing.

Cid couldn't hold his anger in any more, "YOU ARE SO GOING TO PERISH FOR EATING THE ALL MIGHTY CID'S SPEAR!" His response was a purple tongue lashing out at him and licking him from head to toe, olive green colored saliva dripped off of him making the sound 'splooshaat'. As Sephiroth was reeling his oversized tongue in, it happened to slam into a certain day dreaming shinobi, drenching her in the putrid liquid.

"Ewww super grossness." Yuffie stuck her tongue out in disgust and was greeted with the taste of the toad saliva. It tasted like old cheese and dirty gym socks. She clawed at her tongue all the while making choking sounds, which sounded like a moogle that was trying to speak but couldn't so it gave off really high pitched sounds that no one can hear since it couldn't speak.

The pilot and ninja then started to cough profusely. After a few seconds, they started to mumble something about why Ifrit doesn't wear a loincloth when he should and then passed out like a firefly that got it's ass ripped off.

The oh so great leader Cloud was dumbfounded as he saw his teammates fall on to the dirt road as if their knees were cut in half and feet happened to still be plastered to the red dirt. He recovered from his dumbness as he dropped his buster sword that magically got in his hand when Sephiroth the Toad appeared.

"ATTACK MY FELLOW COMRADES! OF'T WE GO TO SAVE THY FALLEN KNIGHTS! AAAAAHHHHHH!" He ran towards the toad and impaled it's legs with his blade, ran a few feet away. "Catch me if you can you butt-munch! HAHAHAHAHA" Cloud mooned at the creature and slapped his ass a few times.

Toady-Sephiroth would've turned red, but because of his green skin, turned cocky brown. He hopped after Cloud, shockwaves rippled the ground sending Cloud flying through the air and then somehow landing on his feet. Cloud then started to run away for his dear life all the while cackling like a maniac as he got away from the peaceful town of Cosmo Canyon.

Tifa sighed as she ran towards her man to save him from killing himself.

AN - Butt-munch...hehehehehe...I don't know where I came up with that word...

You're probably getting tired of Yuffie and Vincent starting each chapter aren't you? Well have no fear! There should be plenty o' Clotiness in the next chappy...hopefully...