AN - Whoo I'm not dead! Well, maybe when I was writing this chapter...couldn't come up with any ideas, only ideas for stuff after this that would be really really after this...so, I think this chappy is going to besomewhatwatered down...
Road Trip
Chapter 4 -Limitations
"Lemme go! You freaking sonuva--"
"Finish that sentence, Cloud, and I'll torture you so badly before I kill you…" Sephiroth interjected.
"…" The spiky-haired hero looked at Sephy-toad disgustingly, "I always knew you were gay…" he mumbled loud enough for Sephy-toad to hear him.
"Pft, it just shows how oblivious you are you perverted mole on the ass."
"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN YOU FUCKING UGLY ASS TOAD!"
"You sound like you have PMS, are you sure you're a man, Cloud? I can just hear what Tifa would say to you, she'd be heartbroken…"
"I AM MANLIER THAN YOU CAN EVER BE and you sound like my mother!" Cloud countered.
Sephiroth glared at Cloud, "Well, at least I have enough guts to tell the woman I love that I love her."
"BUT YOU NEVER LOVED A WOMAN CAUSE YOU'RE GAAAY!"
Sephiroth slammedtheneedle-nogginface down on the ground. He stared at the unconscious form of Cloud in satisfaction, until he felt something pricking his slimy toad back.
"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH CLOUD! I SHOULD KILL YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW FOR ALL THE PAIN YOU HAVE CAUSED US!" Tifa screeched as she punched Sephy-toad with all her might.
Sephiroth placed his gigantic webbed foot on top of Cloud's prone body, semi careful not to turn him into paste.
"I would stop if I were you," He said nonchalantly, Tifa looked up at him evilly.
Sephiroth, glad that he had caught her attention, continued, "Now, I bet you don't want your little puppy dog to get flattened, right?"
"What do you want?" Tifa asked cautiously, her death glare never faltering.
"As you can see, I am a toad; turn me back to my human form and Puppy Dog here will be fine."
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THAT!...AND STOP CALLING CLOUD PUPPY DOG!" Tifa added as an afterthought.
"Have you ever heard of that fairy-tale with the princess and that frog?"
Tifa swore she heard the planet crack in half, "I'm not a princess if you haven't noticed..."
"Hey Vinnie, I want some yakatori," The lovable yet slimy thief complained.
Vincent sighed his one hundredth sigh of the hour "Yuffie, I don't think Cosmo Canyon has any yakatori, or even knows what a yakatori is."
"Do you know what a yakatori is?" Yuffie curiously asked.
"No, Yuffie, I do not know what a yakatori is, go ask Nanaki." The dark gunslinger pointed to the red lion who was not to far away bathing in the setting sun.
"Come on! Yakatori, yakatori! Nanaki doesn't know what it is, but how could you not know what a yakatori is!"
"…Is it made of yak?"
"Grrr…NO YOU MORON, I'll give you a clue on what it is 'k?" She didn't bother to wait for his answer when she saw the murderous look in his garnet eyes, "It's on a stick, has lotsa beef on it and at the end of the friggin stick is a piece of Costa del Solian bread!" She threw her arms in the air, hoping to push away the tension with her bubbly attitude.
"Isn't that a shish kabob?" Vincent said thoughtfully.
"WHO CARES WHAT IT… hey, why's Tifa running here…?"
Vincent followed her eyes to see Tifa frantically running towards the group of terrorists. He and the ninja quickly got on their feet, also noticing the rest of AVALANCHE following along.
"Wat's wrong Tifa?" Barret asked worriedly as he scanned the area, "Where's Spike?"
The evil blue sandwiches also somehow followed along, they made a sound that sounded like Barret burping after getting totally drunk and Yuffie's annoying laugh.
Everyone eyed it oddly sans Nanaki.
"It said, 'Give me all of your materia or you will regret it! Hisssss!'"
Vincent kicked the rotten bologna sandwiches away, "We already have a Yuffie."
"Why choo doo dat…fer?" A seemingly drunk Cid slurred.
"Stop it Cid," Shera said, her patience wearing thin.
"NOOOOOOOO!" The supposedly drunken pilot screeched like a child with a tantrum.
Shera punched him lightly.
The blond pilot hissed in pain, "Damn woman, if I were a woman, you'd be begging for mercy now…"
Shera looked up at him oddly, wondering how a playful punch could hurt anyone.
"Ooooo, does Cid want to be a woman?" Yuffie asked slyly.
"What! HA WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO BE AMONG YOU SISSIES!"
"Cid," Vincent calmly said despite the rising tension in the air.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU FREAKING VAMPIRE!"
Vincent's eyes glittered with glee as he smiled, "Know your limitations."
The moving chimney barely missed Shera's sucker punch, but was then tackled by a flaming ninja with the help of Tifa and the always easy-going Elmyra.
The best female engineer in the world had a dented bat in her hands, "I never put less than a full effort on anything…" She smiled evilly.
And thus, Cid learned how to treat women.
AN: Yakatori is Japanese for Shish Kabob...I think...well, at least that was what the food channel said.
Shera seems a little too bossy right? Well, that may seem so, but I always saw her as the woman of the house who keeps her man in place.
Well, I hope that was alright...