Inspired by the WWWF's grudge match up between BeetelJuice & The GB's.

Ray slowly scanned the kitchen door.

"It's a portal all right. Lucky for us its only accessible from the other side."

"Okay Ray, so what do we do about it?" Peter said impatiently. "I have a date tonight and would like to get this over with as quickly as possible."

Egon clucked at his friend. "You're the one who insisted on accompanying us tonight Peter. Winston, Ray, & I can have handled a simple pair of class 1 repeaters. You could have stayed with Janine in case of an emergency call."

"Fat chance, your girlfriend's got PMS. Also know as 'Pummel Men Stupid'." Peter muttered.

"She's not my girlfriend." Egon said mechanically.

Winston flicked his cigarette out the window. "Okay, where are these spooks?"

"The tenants said they hang out in the attic." Ray put the PKE scanner away. "I don't know why they're so freaked out though. From all indications, these spirits are completely harmless."

"It's just the way the world works Ray. Some people are just unjustly prejudiced against the undead." Peter gave a mock sigh. "Ah well. Let's get bustin' and get the hell outta here."

The quartet moved upstairs single file.

'Our 1,300th bust.' Ray smiled to himself. 'It's historic. Too bad its not bigger...'

The youngest GB's reviewed the past few years in his mind. Their disastrous first bust in the hotel. The triumph over Gozer & then Vigo. The day the city gave them official Ghost Busting licenses...

"Attic ho." Peter unsheathed his gun. The other's followed suit. "Spengs, you lay the trap. Winston, Ray, you lay down the beams. I'll cover you."

Peter eased the attic door open. "Oh my God..."

"What? Is it another portal?" Egon tried to peer around Peter.

"These people are total pack rats!" Peter let the door swing open. "They probably have rats too."

"You really need to cease that Peter." Egon muttered.

The GB's filed in. Ray's eyes immediately went to the scale model of the town.

"Wow. This is some real craftsmanship!" He inspected the table. "It's almost as good as the Spook Central Model I made at home."

"Thanks. I try." A voice said modestly.

The GB's turned around. A handsome man in his late thirties stood behind them with a bemused smile. "Can I help you guys?"

"Are you...are you the...?"

"If the word you're looking for is 'ghost', yes."

"But you look...normal." Winston said weakly.

"Those of us who don't make trouble often do. Now, can I help you guys?"

"Who are you?" Egon asked quietly. "What's your purpose?"

"My name is Adam. I really don't know what my purpose is." The man shrugged. "But then again, who does."

"Adam, who is it?" A pretty woman faded in besides him.

"Ghostbusters." Adam said. "I think we're being evicted Barbara."

"What?" Barbara looked alarmed.

"No, no, its not like that." Ray said quickly. "We had reports of disturbances here. You two don't seem the type though..."

"I can assure you, we're not. There's only one ghost who ever disturbed anything around here was BeetelJuice." Barbara clamped her hand over her mouth, looking horrified.

"Who's BeetelJuice?" Peter exchanged glances with the other GB's.

"Don't say that name again." Adam said quickly. "You say his name 3 times and it calls him to this plane."

"He's an awful poltergeist." Barbara said. "He nearly got us sent to the realm of lost souls."

"The death of the dead." Adam said quietly.

"Guys, what I think we have here is a simple misunderstanding." Peter said slowly.

"Yeah, you guys barely even register on the scanners. You certainly don't have the power to harm anyone." Egon said.

"Nor do we have the intentions. The new owners of this house want to get rid of my model. In the house's contract it says the attic is ours." Adam said. "We just want to be left alone."

"Tell you what. We'll tell the new guys we got you, weld the door shut so they can't get in, & you guys cut out the parlor tricks." Winston said. "Cappish?"

Barbara & Adam grinned.

"That was the easiest two K we ever made." Peter grinned as the GB's drove away.

"Seemed like a nice couple." Winston agreed.

"I'm interested in this BeetelJuice character. I've never seen that name pop up in any of the literature." Egon said.

"Oooh, you said BeetelJuice." Peter said mockingly. "Look out, big scary poltergeist coming!"

"I think I have to say it two more times Peter."

"Whatever Spengs."

Egon poured over his books.

"Find anything?" Ray asked.

"Nothing. This 'BeetelJuice' is nowhere. He must be a newer entity." Egon sighed.

"Just let it go Egon." Ray grinned. "We've got enough on our plates without you dishing our extra portions."

Egon nodded and started to put things away, shaking his head slightly.

"BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice, BeetelJuice..." He muttered absentmindedly.

In the netherworld, something shifted.

"It's Showtime."

The GB's had settled in for the night. Ray snuggled close to his 'Mr. Stay-Puft' doll.

'The guys would kill me if they knew I still had this...' He sighed sleepily.

"Hey kid. Got a light?" A gruff voice protruded into Ray's ears.

"What the..." He scrabbled for the lamp.

"Never mind. I got one." The voice said.

A flame erupted on the Doll. The GB's eyes widened.

"AHHH!" He threw the flaming Puff off.

The light's flickered on.

Ray stared at the strange man sitting on the end table. He wore a decaying convict's suit. His hair was bright yellow. His teeth were green.

"What are you?" Ray demanded.

"I'm the Ghost with the most dude." The goblin grinned its green smile.

"Get the proton packs!" Ray yelled.

"What?" Peter sat up sleepily.

"What's going on?" Egon snapped awake.

Winston yawned. "A call?"

The man glared at him. "Shouldn't have done that."

He began to shift shape.

"Guys..." Ray called, eyes growing wider. "Help!"

The being had shifted into a fanged snake.

The other GB's halted their approach of Ray.
"What the hell is that!" Winston demanded.

"I don't know." Ray squeaked. "Just get the proton packs!"

Peter took a cautious step forward. "Who are you?"

The snake hissed at him.

"Okay, Mr. Hisssss, would you kindly get your slimy ass the hell outta my firehouse!"

"Snakes aren't slimy Peter, they're smooth."

"Not the time Egon!"

"Sorry."

Winston had crept away during the banter, and quickly retrieved a pack and a trap.

"Somebody lay this down & I'll blast it." He whispered.

The snake had wrapped itself around Ray's legs and midsection.

"Guys, did I ever mention I have a slight phobia of snakes?" Ray's teeth chattered.

"We've come for your manhood Ray." The snake grinned.

"Now!" Winston let loose a blast. Egon flung the trap down.

"Arrrrgh! OOOOOH!" The snake writhed, dropping off of Ray. The shaken man retreated quickly.

"It's working!" Winston yelled.

"ERRRRRRRRRR! Yeah, Baby, that's the way I like it!" The snake changed back into the man, undulating wildly.

"He likes it!" Egon demanded.
"Pervert!" Peter yelled. He grabbed the gun and shut it off.

"Killjoy." The man frowned.

"Who are you and why are you haunting our bedroom?" Peter asked point-blank.

"Sorry Pete, can't tell ya that." The man lay back in mid air & stretched out comfortably.

"It's BeetelJuice!" Egon said suddenly.

"Shut up!" BeetelJuice yelled.

"BeetelJuice, B--MMPH!"

A metal plate had slapped onto Egon's mouth. Bolt's held it firmly in place, despite the Doctor's frantic tugging. His eye's widened in horror.

"Egon! Okay, that's it, no more Mr. Nice Busters!" Peter yelled.

"Whatcha gonna do Pete? You're little bug zapper won't work on me, & if you try anything funny...well, lets just say that plate will be the worst of your problems." BeetelJuice grinned lewdly.

The GB's glared at the malevolent Poltergeist.

"We're not gonna let you just hang out here." Winston growled. "Especially if you don't un-bolt our friend here."

"MMPH!" Egon added.

"No can do on that either, since he's the only one who knows how to get rid of me. Looks like we're gonna be roommates!"
"Over our dead bodies." Ray growled.

"Well, that means I've got the advantage, as I'm already dead." BeetelJuice grinned.

"That's it, get the other proton pack's guys. Mr. BeetelJuice is going down." Peter glared.

"Mmmph! Mmmmph!" Egon moaned and gestured wildly.

"Thanks Spengs, we'll keep that in mind." Peter slid down the pole.

Egon rolled his eyes and followed.

'Paper...pencils...where the heck are our writing supplies?' Egon searched wildly.

"Egon, let's just zap him, you can play mime later!" Peter yelled, running back up the stairs.

Egon rolled his eyes and followed.