Title: What'dya say?
Author: Queen Momoko
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione
Rating: G-PG (situation)
For: nemkess
Request: Someone says something that gets misheard/misinterpreted. Hilarity ensues

"Um, Hermione. Can I ask you a question?"

Harry's voice startled her out of her book. Hermione looked up with a smile and marked her page. Harry had definitely changed since he had been in school. He no longer had the gangly look that not enough food would leave a person with. His clothes were stylish without being too flashy and they now actually fit him. But his blushing boy attitude about asking her questions was still the same and his unruly hair had never quite been tamed.

"Sure, Harry. What's on your mind?" She asked, with brown eyes sparkling in anticipation.

"Uh. Well," Harry stuttered, drawing Hermione's curiosity to the forefront. "You see, I have this... friend. And he thinks his boyfriend... well, um..." Harry began to blush. "I was wondering if there was a spell that could get guys pregnant?" Harry finished in a rush.

Hermione's eyes widened at the question, not quite believing she'd heard correctly. Had Harry just asked her if there was a spell to get guys pregnant? Her eyes narrowed as she looked more closely at her friend in front of her. Harry's head was now bent and his hands were playing with the hem of his shirt. He was definitely anxious.

She rose from her chair and began to pace. Pacing helped her to think. There had been a bit of research the past few years into spells that would allow for same sex couples to have a child together. Anything to increase the birthrate between wizards and witches.

"Well," Hermione began. "There has been some definite work done in that area. It has been done a couple of times as far as I've read. For the most part, they haven't really mentioned anything to the wizarding world at large about it. But I guess if the... boyfriend," Here she looked at Harry, who was watching her. "Was well informed or did some work on their own, it would be possible."

"So, it's possible?"

"Yes, Harry," Hermione sighed. "It's possible."

Harry's mouth opened and closed a few times as Hermione's words filtered through his brain. Hermione was now standing and looking at Harry. The young man looked decidedly pale, if you asked her. It was at that point that Hermione began to think about what had brought about Harry's question. It was an odd one, especially with the way that it had been phrased. Was it that Harry had been thinking about having a child? Harry had always wanted a family, and with modern techniques, it was possible. She narrowed her eyes at the brown-haired man who was now mummbling to himself.

"Uh, I have to go. I'll talk to you later," Harry called out as he headed for the door. He waved as he opened door, but Hermione heard his mumbles as he left the house.

"Draco's... pregnant..." Hermione said dumbfounded, as Ron walked into the room.

"Wha!" Ron sputtered. "P-Pr-PREGNANT!"

"It's true," Harry said as he sunk down onto the couch. "There's actually a spell that-"

"I told you, didn't I?" Draco laughed at Harry's shocked expression. "And you didn't believe me."

"B-But Oliver Wood and-" Harry shuddered. "Marcus Flint. I just don't want to see that kid. It is just so wrong."

"Come on, we need to go pick out something for the little creature. After all, I'm going to be its God-Father," Draco puffed up his chest a bit at the last part. Harry raised an eyebrow at him as he stood up. "So what should we get the little monster?"

"Draco. It's a baby, not some blast-end screwt. And if you're the God-Father, you can't call the baby an it. It just sounds funny," Harry replied with an attempt at a straight face.

Harry sat down on Ron and Hermione's couch. The silence in the room seemed constricting. Glancing at his two best friends, Harry let out an uncomfortable cough.

"Well.. um. I don't know if you heard the news yet or not, but-" Harry began.

"We know Harry," Hermione cut in.

"You know?" Harry sighed with relief.

"The whole situation is just weird, Harry," Ron bursted out. "I mean, a baby!"

"I know!" Harry replied. "It's just so unbelievable. It's a Griffindor and a Slytherin afterall. Its just strange that during school, rivals. And now, lovers. I just don't know what to make of it."

"Harry, if you need us, we'll be there for you," Hermione burst in.

Harry looked at Hermione and nodded. It was an odd thing to say, but knowing Hermione like he did, Harry figured she was worried about his own lack of family. Not that he'd be willing to try that spell any time soon. He'd see how well he handled the kid when it was only visiting Draco.

"You know, Harry," Ron said seriously. "You shouldn't do anything rash. Especially if it wasn't your choice."

"Its no big deal. It's not like I'd have to deal with the kid. That's not my responsibility. Plus I'm not going to see the kid that often anyway."

"No big deal!" Hermione shouted as she stood. Her cheeks flushed with anger as she glared down at Harry. "How can you even think of treating your child like that! Especially after your own childhood. And what type of role model would Draco be anyway on his own? I mean, I understand that he was with us in the end, but before that you should remember how he was. And you want your child growing up with those types of influences? Harry you can't just abadon it!"

Hermione was at this point blinking back tears as she glared self-righteously at Harry. Ron was trying to hold onto Hermione to keep her from attacking Harry. From the look on his face, Harry assumed the only thing keeping Ron from letting Hermione go was the fact that probably wanted to get some hits in on him too. And as Harry sat there confused by the past minute or so, Hermione's rant at him finally began to sink in. Harry's green eyes flew up to his two best friends in a panic.

"Wha-? My kid! What are you talking about?" Confusion evident in his voice.

"I heard you, Harry. The other day when you asked about that spell for same sex couples. I had sort of guessed what you were talking about when you mentioned you were asking for a 'friend'. But I heard you as you left saying that Draco was pregnant," Hermione's voice had become very quiet. Tears slipped down her face unnoticed.

"B-But, I'm not pregnant," he said looking between the two. "Its Oliver Wood and Marcus Flint. They're having a baby."

"Wait. Oliver and WHO?" Ron gawked.

"Marcus Flint," Harry shuddered slightly. "Slytherin Captain. They're pregnant and wanted Draco to be the God-Father. But I didn't think Draco was telling the truth when he told me. So I came to find out if it was true that that could happen."

Hermione and Ron were now looking at Harry as if he had grown an extra head. As he thought about the situation more, Harry smiled. The smile quickly grew into a laugh that was passed on to the pair opposite him.

"You guys thought Draco was pregnant? Draco Malfoy? The one who won't go out in public, if he thinks the robes make him feminine?" Harry laughed harder. "God, what I wouldn't pay to see that!"

And somewhere at that exact moment, Draco sneezed.