O'Malley's was always a bit quiet during the early afternoon, once the lunch crowd had filed out, and their seemed to be only four occupants in the entire place.
Sitting at a table in the middle of the room, Jack and Sam sat sipping beers across from Jacob and Amanda, "I've been here this early" Jack commented, glancing around at the nearly empty establishment, "It's kinda nice"
Amanda absently dipped a straw in and out of her cream soda and repeatedly snatched onion rings from Jacob's plate as retaliation for not allowing her to have any alcohol. He swatted at her hand for the third or fourth time since their food had arrived, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly finding her antics endearing.
"You'd get drunk after the first bottle, anyway" he said as an excuse, taking his revenge on her food theft by stealing her burger and pouring chipotle sauce on the contents, knowing she wouldn't be able to eat it because she was allergic to the spice.
It didn't matter; they always ended up ordering food that only the other of them would eat and traded plates halfway through the meal after munching off the cuisine that respectively their teammate should have been eating.
This habit had begun back when they were kids. To celebrate Sam's promotion to General, their parents had taken them all to earth to have dinner. Amanda, even though she had been about four years old at the time, was a very picky eater who could spell "Antidisestablishmentarianism". Which for some reason had very much aggravated the three-month-older-than-her-and-wouldn't-let-her-forget-it, Jacob O'Neill.
Amanda hadn't liked anything on her plate, which had been tailored around her food allergies. She didn't complain, she was much too polite, even at that age. But she did poke at her food rather irritatingly, until Jacob pushed some of the vegetables that his parents had forced upon him onto her plate, and in exchange stole her untouched cheese sticks.
Amanda had tentatively taken a bite of the cabbage she was supposedly allergic to. When she didn't break out in hives, the two children had quickly exchanged plates.
Jacob swore that the girl would have starved through her childhood if it weren't for him.
Jack and Sam watched the two young prodigies and the things that occurred between them. Jack shot a glance at Sam when Jacob slid his plate over to his teammate and she gave him hers.
Sam bit the inside of her cheek to keep from giggling at the scene, remembering many times where Jack and her had done similar bartering, especially when it came to base food.
----------------------------------------------
Shifu sighed in exasperation, his invisible form straddling a chair in O'Malley's that was set across from the table his friend's were at.
They were supposed to be matchmaking, but Jacob was too busy being smitten with an oblivious Amanda to be of any help. At least Amanda had started asking questions, "So, what did you two think of each other when you first met?" she said conversationally.
Jack and Sam adverted their eyes, neither of them wanting to answer.
"Oh, c'mon" Amanda said, "It couldn't have been that bad"
"I thought he was an egotistical jerk," Sam finally answered. Jack looked at her sharply; she cleared her throat, "Ahem…Sorry, Sir" she muttered, taking an anesthetic gulp of her beer.
"Jack…" Amanda prompted in a tone that wanted to make Jack reply "Daniel…"
Seriously, the girl was too much like her dad.
"I thought she was way too good looking to be as smart as she was" came the answer, which Jack had to practically wrench out of himself.
He covered his tracks fast with, "Then she said "Theoretical Astrophysicist" and started saying stuff about molecular something or other and I kind of blanked from there…didn't even realize I was suddenly being humiliated in front of Feretti and Kawalsky, who had a nice laugh at my expense"
Sam grinned, "Yea, he wasn't all that bad once I broke him in"
Jack glared, "What is it with you scientists having to break in us military types?"
"I'm military too, Sir" she evaded.
"Then I'm sure Daniel's got you whipped by now, as well" he shot back.
Shifu smiled approvingly. Once the banter started between them, everything else came pretty smoothly.
Amanda and Jacob sensed the change in pace also and winked at each other. They had gotten the proverbial ball rolling. Now it was time to loosen a few bolts on Daniel and Vala.
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Arrrgh!" Came the ear-shattering yell from the open office door.
Amanda and Jacob leant into view of the entryway with amused and curious expressions.
Daniel Jackson's face was red with anger, starring at a calm Vala who was standing over a shattered mess of artifacts on the floor.
"Whoooops" she offered, "Heh, those weren't very important…right?"
Daniel clenched his fists and turned, facing the wall and closing his eyes and muttering under his breath, "Why me? Why mmmeee…"
"Go to your happy place, dad" Amanda encouraged, although she knew he couldn't hear her from all the smoke piping out of his ears. She quickly motioned her mother to get out of the room.
Vala tried to creep silently away from Daniel's fuming space, but he turned around with cold murder in his eyes before she got to the door. She bolted and Daniel raced after her.
"You know!" the former Goa'uld shouted behind her, "Sex is a much better conduit for venting frustration"
"Great, so when I'm done killing you I'll sleep with somebody" Daniel growled back as he skidded around a sharp corner in deadly pursuit of his victim.
Jacob and Amanda were running after the two, trying to keep up, "How in the universe did they ever survive married life?" Jacob huffed out. "Are you kidding" Amanda said, "This is their version of foreplay"
"You poor, disturbed child" he replied, rounding a turn and coming to a dead stop so that Amanda rammed into him and they both fell in a heap to the ground.
Quickly scampering up to see why her friend had stopped so abruptly, she noticed tons of interested people gathered in the corridor looking on at the sight of the prestigious Dr. Jackson pinning down the scrumptious Vala Malderon.
"I don't know why you're so upset," the woman said while crossing her arms over her chest, unfazed by their current public audience and the fact that Daniel was straddling her combat style in front of all these people. "I'm sure there are a lot more of those dusty jeweled things lying around on some deserted planet"
Daniel boiled, "Those were perfectly preserved original Greek statues of the virgin goddesses carved from the gems that the depicted deities were said to have favored most…they were professionally dated at having been made around 456 B.C.! …They were said to have been created at Olympus by Hesphaistus himself"
Amanda cringed in sympathy, knowing that her father was close to tears at the loss of such an astounding group of artifacts. She was probably the only person in the immediate vicinity that knew what extraordinary finds those statues were.
"Oooo, were they valuable? How much could you have gotten for them?" Vala said, suddenly interested.
Daniel's lips disappeared in a thin line and an unidentifiable expression crossed his face before he shook the woman beneath him fiercely, "Yes they were VALUABLE!" he snapped out, "They were estimated at over thirty million dollars if the right buyer came along…I was lucky enough to be the only person on earth to discover them at a dig in Athens and therefore academically recognized as the proprietor of some of the earliest known sculpted Greek art made from such rare stones!"
Vala pouted as the shaking continued and kneed him in the groin when she decided she'd had enough of it.
The action shocked Daniel off her and he reeled in the momentary pain that followed. Vala got up "Well maybe if you would tell me this stuff in the first place so I know what historical junk to be careful around, this wouldn't have happened."
She sauntered away and Daniel rose, spinning on his heel in the opposite direction.
He locked himself in his office and no one saw him for the rest of the day.
Jacob turned to Amanda and raised his eyebrows, "Foreplay, huh?"
She shrugged sheepishly.
"Okey doke, then" Jacob said, "Looks like we've got our work hammered out for us"
--------------------------------------------------------
"Well zippeddy-doo-da" Ascended being Jack said as he read the Ancient Times, "Looks like Samantha and I are off to a good start, but you and Vala aren't lookin' so hot" he commented, turning the page of the newspaper.
Daniel rolled his eyes over in Jack's direction while lounging in a booth at Enlightenment Café with his legs stretched out over the seat and his back leaning against the wall, "Really?"
"Yep, she broke some of your toys"
"Which ones?" he seemed nonchalant.
"Some virgin goddess statue things"
Daniel jumped up instantly and snatched the paper out of Jack's hands, "WHAT!" he exclaimed, reading the article.
Daniel moaned in a painful voice and crumbled the paper up tossing it behind him and sliding back into the booth.
"Hey, I was reading that" Jack muttered with exasperation, getting up to retrieve the paper as Daniel folded his arms over the table and smothered his face into them, moping.
--------------------------------------
Vala stormed around the quest quarters for a while, brooding over Daniel.
"You could get him something to make up for it" Amanda suggested from where she sat, "It needs to be pretty rare though…something good enough to occupy his mind until he gets over the statues"
Just then, Shifu appeared, startling both women, "I have just the thing" he said. And told them about the artifact that would, as yet unknown to them, save the future Daniel's life by stopping the rogue Ancient.