The Diary Of An Erik
Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera, in any of it's incarnations.
Author's Note: Don't mind the randomness, I really don't know where any of this is coming from, all I know is I'm going on very little sleep and a hell of a lot of sugar, so it's bound to be a bit crazy.
September 1st, 1881
Dear Diary,
Am thinking of adding ping pong to my list of sports tables in my house, but Christine pointed out that it would be rather hard to fit them all.
She also said that there were better things to do in my spare time.
I thought I heard her mutter something else, but I can't be sure.
Erik
September 3rd, 1881
Dear Diary,
Decided that a proper shower was probably a better investment than ping pong table.
Christine said that the whole "death" smell was a major turn-off.
I guess she didn't notice my new cologne.
Erik
September 6th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Shower is absolutely amazing.
Warm water is surprisingly more comfortable than cold water.
And having no dead rotting bodies in my bathing water is also a plus.
Well where else was I supposed to put them?
Erik
September 7th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Apparently, warm shower water does not last forever.
Dammit.
Have returned to my pastime of waffle-making.
Christine appears to be pleased.
Erik
September 9th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Haven't had a poker night in a while.
Nobody seems to want to come back.
Fop's ponytail is starting to grow back.
Wonder if I should lop it off right away, or wait until it appears to be a significant length.
Erik
September 10th, 1881
Dear Diary,
So much for "six months of relief, of delight, of Elysian peace."
Decided that instead of cutting the ponytail, I would just chop a random chunk off the side.
Perhaps the movie was right after all (for once) with their "three month" prediction.
If I can seem to leave them all alone.
Haha, fat chance, they're far too amusing.
Erik
September 12th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Am all out of waffle ingredients.
I really hate going to the supermarket.
Real Men Make Waffles.
I'm going to copyright that, before someone else does.
Erik
September 14th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Have gotten the idea to start a franchise of merchandise around the phrases "Real Men Make Waffles" and "Kiss Me, I Make Waffles".
It's bound to make it big.
After all, who doesn't love waffle related merchandise?
Erik
September 18th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Am proudly sporting my new "Real Men Make Waffles" tee.
Christine loves it, and asked if they had any "Real Fops Wear Cherry Lipgloss" ones.
Gave her funny look.
Wait a minute... Fop... Lipgloss?
Erik
September 19th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Asked Raoul about the whole "cherry lipgloss" deal.
Explained that he was a bit addicted.
Offered me a tube.
Politely declined.
Alright, maybe not all that politely.
Erik
September 20th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Got Christine a "Kiss Me, I Make Waffles" shirt.
Slapped me when I tried to kiss her.
Told her I was only doing what the shirt said.
Slapped me again.
Second slap was entirely unnecessary.
Erik
September 22nd, 1881
Dear Diary,
Christine wearing her shirt again.
Hurrah!
I refuse to teach her how to actually make waffles, though.
Explained that if she knew how to make waffles, she would no longer come to me to eat waffles.
Muttered something about subscribing to Cooking Light.
Erik
September 24th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Am beginning to wonder if Christine is ever taking off that shirt to wash it, or if she's just wearing it continuously for days.
It's kind of beginning to bother me.
Perhaps I should throw her in my shower.
Erik
September 25th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Christine was offended when I inquired about the whole shirt thing.
Said "of course she was washing it".
Asked her what the stain was.
Ignored me.
Erik
September 26th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Threw Christine in the shower with her waffle shirt today.
Tried to pull me in with her.
Told her that was not the point.
Erik
September 28th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Christine is now squeaky clean.
Alright, probably more clean and less squeaky.
Raoul is really the squeaky one.
You know, just in case you're keeping track.
Erik
September 30th, 1881
Dear Diary,
I think it's the last day of the month.
But I'm not sure.
I never really remember that stupid rhyme.
"Thirty days hath... something or other..."
I know it's a month that rhymes in "ember" though.
Will ask someone tomorrow.
Erik
Thank you to...
Baffled Seraph - Oh, I'm so glad you liked that entry. I thought it was pretty funny when I wrote it, but then that was at about 2 in the morning, and quite frankly, anything is funny at 2 in the morning, so I hoped everyone else would laugh too.
obsession is love - I'm glad you like it! Sometimes I worry about other people laughing at stuff I think it funny, because I'll laugh at just about anything!
Son Ange - Aw, I love you too! No, actually, Erik has my heart. swoon
Nade-Naberrie - Uh oh, don't go falling out of your chair too hard, or I'm gonna have a lot of lawsuits on my hands. Hey, getting other people's families to give them odd looks is what I'm all about!
Christy Day - Of course Erik has a good sense of humor, and he's probably got a good stock of jokes up his sleeve. You have to do SOMETHING sitting in a basement all those years.
Lil-Hikki - Look, it's a new chapter! I have to keep going, otherwise these horribly things just stay inside my head, and I'm convinved if it hangs out in there too long, I'll explode.
deathtoallclovers - Oh no! Another one falling out of the chair! Don't you go and sue me either! Should I add that to the disclaimer at the top?
...for your lovely reviews!