The Diary Of An Erik
Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera, in any of it's incarnations.
Author's Note: Don't mind the randomness, I really don't know where any of this is coming from, all I know is I'm going on very little sleep and a hell of a lot of sugar, so it's bound to be a bit crazy.
October 1st, 1881
Dear Diary,
Have discovered that there are in fact, 30 days in September.
New Cooking Light magazine is in.
No new waffle recipies.
Christine says this is quite alright, as my blueberry ones are quite delicious.
Erik
October 2nd, 1881
Dear Diary,
Am considering having a Halloween bash.
Should be great fun.
Haven't had a good night of fun in a while, since poker night died off.
Erik
October 4th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Am incredibly bored.
Feel like dropping a chandelier on someone, but am trying to not be destructive.
Perhaps I'll just knock over a lamp or something.
Erik
October 7th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Have begun mailing out invites to my Halloween soiree at the end of the month.
Guest list includes Christine, Raoul, Nadir, Both Girys, the Managers, and Donald Trump.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Erik
October 8th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Have begun searching magazines for the perfect Halloween costume.
Am saving my best idea for the Masquerade Ball at New Years.
Red Death.
Evil, no?
Perhaps for halloween I should go as "Orange Death" or "Nearly Red Death" or "Slightly Darker Than Red Death"
Erik
October 10th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Still brainstorming.
How about "Purple Death".
Not scary?
Well fine, who asked you anyway?
Erik
October 11th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Have finally found a very scary costume.
It's a secret, though.
Have received positive RSVPs from almost everyone.
Am sure it has nothing to do with the threat of punjabbing.
Erik
October 13th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Still waiting for my costume to come in the mail.
Damn UPS man can never find my door.
Always falls into the torture chamber. I believe he's beginning to develop an eye twitch.
Honestly, is it THAT difficult?
Erik
October 15th, 1881
Dear Diary,
I finally got my costume.
Tried it on in front of the mirror, nearly scared myself.
Packed it away and put it in the closet behind the swim trunks and the water skis.
Erik
October 16th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Got some more RSVPs. Everyone is coming, HURRAH!
Unfortunately, that includes Carlotta.
Perhaps I'll poke her all night, or shove peeled grapes down the back of her shirt and scream that they were eyeballs from the victims of the torture chamber.
Like I would waste the actual eyeballs.
Sheesh...
Erik
October 17th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Have decided to look into decorations for the party.
Asked Nadir to help.
Said my idea for a "Punjab lasso" theme sucked.
Well, who asked him anyway.
Oh yea, I did.
Dammit.
Erik
October 20th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Nadir and I have finalized decoration plans.
Halloween colored crepe paper and plastic rats and spiders are keeping my costume company in the back closet.
Asked him why we could not just use REAL rats and spiders, as they would have been easier to find anyway.
No one ever likes my ideas.
Erik
October 21st, 1881
Dear Diary,
Was going to get food out of the way, but Nadir pointed out that I can't buy it this far in advance.
Stupid git, ruining all my fun.
Memo to me: NEVER ask Nadir to help plan a party again.
Takes all the fun out of it.
Erik
October 24th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Only about a week left until my Halloween Bash!
Christine and Nadir both offered to come over early and help set up.
Refrained from telling Nadir I didn't really want his help.
Am excited that Christine is coming though.
Perhaps she's finally warming up to me?
Erik
October 25th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Have procured massive amounts of chips for the party.
Have every kind of chip under the sun: Potato, Corn, Tortilla, Paint.
Nadir pointed out that paint chips aren't edible.
Told him to shut up.
Erik
October 27th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Nadir apologized about the paint chip thing.
Didn't apologize for being a total pain, though.
Wonder what everyone elses costumes will be?
Perhaps Carlotta will dress as a toad!
Then I could throw her into the lake with the legitimate excuse of "Well I thought she was a toad!"
Not that she needs to be DRESSED as one for me to make THAT mistake...
Erik
October 28th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Christine showed up to help me decorate today.
Told her she was a few days early.
She remarked that she was sure there was SOME way we could pass the time.
Offered to play her in air hockey.
She just sort of rolled her eyes.
Erik
October 29th, 1881
Dear Diary,
What IS it with girls' aversion to air hockey?
Christine refuses to play with me.
Says there are plently of things she'd rather be doing.
When I asked what, she said it wasn't a what, it was a who.
Girls are so confusing.
Erik
October 30th, 1881
Dear Diary,
Hurrah! My party is tomorrow!
Originally had my costume all set and laid out on a chair, but couldn't handle it staring at me as I was trying to fall asleep.
It's VERY scary.
Hung it up in the closet until tomorrow.
Erik
October 31st, 1881
Dear Diary,
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Party was a huge success.
Everyone loved my costume - Raoul with no makeup on.
I told you it was scary.
Carlotta did not dress as a toad, unfortunately, but I threw her in the lake anyway, so all in all, a very good night.
The fop was dressed as a princess, much to everyone's disgust.
Nauseating cherry stench followed him around all night.
Nadir was dressed as Aladdin. Thought that was terribly clever. So THAT'S why he wanted to borrow my stuffed monkey.
The Managers almost beat me for scariest costumes, posing as the Olsen Twins, but Raoul with no makeup is definitely scarier.
Believe me, it has to be seen to be believed.
Very good party.
Christine offered to stay after and help me clean up.
Perhaps I can finally talk her into a game of air hockey?
Erik
Thank you to...
kate dawson - Glad you like, I try to be hilarious, but sometimes it just comes off as retarded, glad I could make you laugh.
Son Ange - Oh no you don't, Erik is MINE! Nah, just kidding. I wonder what Erik does with all these hearts, do you suppose he keeps them in jars in the basement? Because that's kind of creepy...
firetopaz - Yea, I have a box of blueberry waffles in the basement, and I'm not quite sure whether or not I actually want to eat them. Waffles are the best.
EriksAngel1870 - Glad you think it's funny, my apologies for the painful stich in your side. Hey, if enough people want waffle shirts, I'll talk to Erik and see what he says. I might talk him into it anyway, as I really want one myself.
Baffled Seraph - I don't know why I picked Ohio, that was sort of random. I love how I said that like the rest of the fic ISN'T random.
KatStarr - Well, yea, it's pretty OOC, but you must admit, Erik doesn't really seem all that funny until you learn all the secrets... like the waffles.
Nota Lone - A foppish revenge plot? Honestly, you make Raoul's brain out to be MUCH bigger than it actually is. We'll see.
...for your lovely reviews!