Plot Summary (in case you've forgotten) In her final year at Hogwarts, the lonely Lily Evans is faced with anew challenge and a new fear. Slowly she begins to see the world through a new light, regaining her self-confidence, and finding a group of friends she could trust forever. This is told through the eyes of Lily Evans, and is not your average LJ fanfic. I try to keep to the main story as much as possible.
Chapter 1: An Odd Potter
The platform was bustling with people. Witches and Wizards of all-sorts had come to wave off their beloveds. Friends sat in groups, hugging and laughing. I felt a pang of remorse as she saw a group of Seventh year Gryffindor girls laughing with each other. I was not exactly sure whether it was because it was them, or whether it was because I was jealous of the fact that they had something to laugh about. Surprisingly, Pariksha, one of the nicer ones of the group noticed, approached me quietly.
"Hey Lily! It's nice to see you back. Are you Head Girl then?" she held out her hand, as if she wanted to shake mine. A little taken back, I put down my cage and shook it.
"Yes, it's good to see you too Pariksha. And, yes, I'm Head Girl." I smiled awkwardly, wondering where this was heading.
"No surprises then Lily, eh?"
"Er, I guess not. You looking forward to this year?" I asked, not exactly know where she was heading.
"Well it should be great, with James as Head Boy." She grinned, trying to feed me with venom.
I was rather shocked. Dumbledore had implied that the Head Boy might not have been a good friend, but I had expected a Slytherin, not the so-called theanthropic, too-good-for-rules, I'm-ever-so-popular James Potter. However, I kept my mask on, smiled briefly and said, "I'm sure it will be, Pariksha. I hope you don't mind, but I have to head off to the Heads' compartment. Dumbledore strictly advised me to beet him there in a few minutes."
I walked away, leaving Pariksha rather distraught that she had not been able to aggravate me. In truth I was seething. Potter hadn't even been prefect the year before. If anyone from Gryffindor had been selected, I would have expected it to be Lupin, not some rich spoilt brat, who thought himself some mantic special god to the female species. However, I kept my calm, composed look and dragged my bag onto the train, and carefully placed it on a rack which was designed for the Head Girl.
The compartment was beautiful. I could not describe it any other way. Rich furnishing which looked like it was from circa 1800 layered the compartment. The room was covered in the colours of Gryffindor: red and gold. The sounds of the train were drowned out, and the sweet sound of a bird-song filled the compartment. I felt refreshed, calm and excited. I sat down on the side labelled "Head Girl: Lily Evans" and looked down at a carefully placed letter on the table in front of me. Three pages of instructions and expectations were kindly explained, and signed by Dumbledore. I had never felt so comfortable before, never so loved, as one would put it.
It was during one of these magnificent feelings, that Potter decided to arrive. I was about to comment on his lack of time keeping, when I noticed a look on his face. I'd never seen it before. I couldn't describe it. All expression on his face had dissolved; his eyes were no longer twinkling with amusement. He looked lost, cold, and empty. At this point, to my shock and Horror, all I wanted to do was give him a hug. But I couldn't and I wouldn't.
He sent me a brief smile, and then sat down. No words were spoken between us. His eyes were bloodshot, and hours of sleep-deprivation were evident from the hollows under his eyes. I could not hold it in anymore. I couldn't pretend that his façade was not evident. I had never seen him like this. I couldn't stand it.
"James?" I said quietly, making sure I did not say Potter.
"Hm?" He responded even more quietly.
"Are you-" I hesitated. Was this another of his pranks? I wasn't sure, but carried on anyway, "Are you okay?"
He looked at me, rather shocked, blinked twice, but turned down, and sighed. Nothing was said. Then once again, he opened his mouth- but before he could say anything, Dumbledore had arrived by portkey.
I sighed, but was rather relieved that Dumbledore had arrived to save us from what would seem to be an awkward conversation. He smiled gentle at James, who stared blankly up at him. He turned to me and nodded his head.
"It's good to see you both back. I have specifically organised this meeting between you two as the disturbances in England continue."
I coughed, and spoke out. "Uh, Professor Dumbldore, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what disturbances are you talking about?" Potter shot me a glare, as if he was in awe that I had no clue what Dumbledore was on about.
Dumbledore just nodded, and sighed very quietly. He looked at me, as spoke softly, "I should have known you would not have known, and called a meeting earlier, but things have been quite mad- yes quite mad." He paused again. "Normally I would have asked Mr Potter here to explain to you, but under the circumstances, I shall have to continue.
I did not know exactly what he meant by circumstances, but I assumed it was the fact that Potter and I weren't exactly the closest of friends, and even that would be suggesting we were friends. Nonetheless, Dumbledore continued.
"During the wake of this summer, numerous rumours were flowing about a rise in the Anti-Muggle front of wizarding politics, but thankfully, with this fear, we have come up with quite a radical pro-muggle Minister. Sadly his appointment also marked the rise of a new evil, the birth of a certain Lord Voldemort, who has mistreating the warmth of summer to inflict the cold burden of winter. Numerous murders of innocent people and people fighting for the right cause have died. The muggle news reports them as 'unexplained murders'- nothing particularly exciting, of course."
I couldn't breathe. I didn't believe what I was hearing. No wonder Potter didn't look so well, his parents must have been involved. I crumbled into the ground, not realising how bad I felt about this. These people were attacking me simply because I was a muggle. They had no personal vendetta. It was for the sheer reason that I was not born into a family that had existed for generations.
"If I could talk, Professor?" Potter asked in a rather husky voice, Dumbledore looked at him and nodded. I expected a 'will-you-go-out-with-me-Evans?' question, but that did not occur. I was taken back by what he said. "Professor Dumbledore's explanations have always attempted to remain unbiased, but I know you want the real truth." I nodded. "Voldemort isn't just angry, he's barbaric, ruthless, brutal, merciless, callous, and cruel. Even these words do not live up to him name. He's just pathetic. Those who follow him are power-hungry, sadistic savages, who see nothing more worthwhile than inflicting pain on their better counterparts. They have no feeling. They pillage and murder like there's no tomorrow. They don't think about those who suffer, they enjoy inflicting pain on them. They enjoy the exhilaration it causes to those who aren't on their side. The never think of the left-behind, never feel the emotion of losing someone. It's murder after murder. If a 'companion' dies amongst them, they continue, trying to savour Voldemort's power, trying to rule the world. They never think of whoever has to suffer. They never think of the innocent."
I stared at Potter, his eyes wide-open, and looking as if they were about to pop out. The salt water just flowed out of his eyes, his breathing had shallowed. He turned from me, hiding as if trying to hide his emotions from the world. His cries echoed in my mind. I had never seen him like this; never seen him so hurt and angry before. I wanted to lean over, and comfort him, but my hands would not move. I was paralysed with shock and remorse. Shaking, I turned to Dumbledore, who ushered me out of the main compartment.
"Miss Evans, I believe you understand what is going on." I started to nod my head, but then shook it. You could not lie to the headmaster. "Mr Potter's father and mother, both Aurors, were sadly murdered by Voldemort's cronies a week ago. Both Mr Potter and Mr Black have been staying in Diagon Alley for a week. I hope you will support both as much as possible." I nodded. Dumbledore muttered quietly one again, "This will not be the first," before sighing, and ushered me back inside.
Potter had regained his posture, and Dumbledore proceeded to tell us how to deal with a death. Firstly, the student was to be taken to their Head of House immediately, then at the end of every week, they were to report the details to Dumbledore to organise the help that the student may need, and of course any financial help that the student may require.
I had decided to not look at Potter then, fearful that my empathy skills would overcome my feelings, and would make me feel exactly like he did. However, my eyes began to stray, and when they landed on his face once more, my mind drifted into extreme empathy. I felt his agony as though it was flowing out of him; my heart felt cold, and the compartment suddenly felt a lot duller.
I shook the feeling off, and listened to the rest of Dumbledore was saying, "You have a responsibility to patrol the corridors every night from 9pm to 10pm, unless it is close to NEWT time, in which case I will appoint some others to accommodate. You also are allowed to use the Head's quarters if you wish, but this is not mandatory. You are also in charge of organising the dates of Quidditch matches, decorations for any important events, such as the Halloween Feast, and the dates of Hogsmeade visits." He paused. "I trust you shall also make the year enjoyable," he added peering though his glasses at Potter. I sighed.
Dumbledore spoke about prefect meetings next, and then proceeded to portkey back. Looking at Potter, I turned around, muttered about how I would hold the prefect meeting and mention that he wasn't feeling too well, and he smiled back, in a manner I assumed was gratuitous considering his condition.
After a rather strenuous prefect meeting that included anxious looks from Lupin, and bickering amongst the Slytherins, we finally reached Hogwarts, and I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. The walls of loneliness called out to me, and well as a final year of magic.
Author's Note: There you go, second chapter. Nothing particularly exciting, but interesting, at least I find it so. Also for all you 'happy-go-lucky' James lovers out there, do not worry, crazy James will be back (at some point!)
Thanks also to:
Whimsical Firefly- Comments won't be so hard now! I'm sure there's something wrong with this chapter! (lol!)Moonlizard- Thanks so much
Dreamy-crazygirl- mean girls are everywhere (sigh)- But Lily's much stronger than them!
Ella-Watson- here you go
Thanks for reading. Please Review and tell me if you liked it or not, and where I can improve. Thanks